My toes wiggled in the bulky black boot strapped to my foot as I tried to listen to the seemingly endless instructions Raven was listing off for me to follow for the next few days. My attention kept drifting to my mate beside me, who was fiddling around with his phone while he waited for us to wrap up.
Not many wolves had cell phones. There wasn't much need for one, since most wolves could mindlink and never traveled far from their territories. Although floating wolves could not mindlink, we received our instructions through written instruction or if we had to speak face to face, it was funneled through the omegas of the pack, whose status wasn't much better than ours.
Even so, I wasn't surprised Rowen had a phone since he had to communicate often with other Alphas and high authorities amongst the other packs. It didn't look like he was doing anything important now, though, despite the hard determination in his eyes. He was just racing a kid on top of a bunch of graffiti-covered subways.
I still had trouble believing I was actually in his presence, barely a few centimeters away, and he allowed it. He wanted to stay by my side. He wanted me. It felt like a dream and the second I splashed my face, it would all wash away and I would return to being a worthless servant forced to hide in the shadows while I watched my mate from afar.
Doubt was shoving at the door of my mind, demanding to be let in and seize my emotions. What if this wasn't real? What if this was a ploy to pull down my defenses and allow me to taste the sweetness of my mate, of love, before it was ripped away so I would suffer for even thinking I would actually stand a chance at being an average wolf. It would be far worse than any punishment I could ever receive.
The familiar dark shadow of anxiousness began to surround me like a cape and the walls of my lungs constricted tightly, leaving little room for me to breathe. Raven's voice faded to background noise, replaced with whispering echoes of dark, dangerous thoughts. I knew I needed to calm down. Think of something else. Otherwise, they would notice and I would have to explain. I would have to tell Rowen. My head began to throb. Thinking about it only made it worse.
Breathe, Marielle. Breath. I repeated in a feeble attempt to remind my lungs how to operate.
The voices returned, one louder than them all as it choked me with its deadly collar. It was my own, but so dark, so cold, I almost couldn't recognize it.
Pathetic little girl. Blind from the dark. Veiled from the light. They seek to destroy you. Do what you do best. Run far from here and never look back.
No. I wanted to shove it out of my mind, but it stayed no matter how much I tried to discard it.
So much trouble you've already caused. Soon, your mate will grow tired. He will abandon you. My blood ran cold as the voice grew deep and sinister, an unfamiliar laugh sending shivers up my spine. He will kill you. Come to me, little one. Come to-
I felt a hot, burning sensation across my cheek followed by a sharp sting from my hand. Oxygen flooded back to my lungs as I was reeled back to reality and the hushed voices fell into silence.
Snap out of it, Marielle. Don't listen. He only wants to hurt you. My wolf hissed, her glowing yellow eyes flashing in my mind like a cautious street light. My mind felt hazy trying to gather what just happened. What was that voice? Who was it? Was it something I conjured in my imagination or was it real? And my wolf....
She slapped me. Well, technically I slapped myself, but I had no control over my actions. My wolf made me slap myself.
My eyes grew wide in disbelief. She had never done that before. The most I ever got from her were a few complaints at most, but she never crossed the lines into controlling my domain. It took too much strength for her to conquer my mind, even if I willed her to, but she pushed through the barrier and it was enough to pull me out of the dark hole I was dragging myself into.
Thank you. I murmured to her, a sense of relief flooding over me. She hummed tiredly in response.
Don't listen. She repeated. She sounded like she wanted to warn me of something else, but she didn't say anything more, only leaving me in a bundle of confusion as she curled away in her little den. I felt my headache return tenfold as my head swirled with so many unanswered questions.
All of a sudden, I noticed it had gotten oddly quiet and it was then that I realized Raven had stopped talking. Both she and Rowen were staring at me in bewilderment and a little concern, their eyes lingering on the probably red blotch I now sported on my cheek. I snapped my eyes to my lap, heat crawling up my neck. I jumped the gun when I thanked my wolf. They probably thought I was mentally insane. I squeezed my eyes shut with a sigh.
Great. How do I explain this one?
The truth perhaps, but even in my own head it sounded bizarre.
"Was it too much, Luna?" Raven's sudden panicked voice pulled my attention and when I looked up, her face was covered in guilt," I know it's a lot of information at once. I'm so sorry if I've overwhelmed you. You've had such a long day."
I shook my head rapidly, my own guilt building from her thinking she was to blame. It was me.
"No...it's fine. You're fine. It was my wolf." I answered quickly, fiddling with my thumbs nervously. I could feel Rowen's burning gaze on the side of my face, the quiet music from his abandoned game playing in the background. "She hit me."
I didn't say it out loud, but I could tell from the lingering silence, they were aware there was more to the story than I was letting on, but even still, I was hoping they'd let it go. That Rowen would let it go.
"Why would she do that?" Rowen questioned like he was figuring out a puzzle.
I wanted to laugh. Because I'm being terrorized by evocative voices escalating all my fears concerning you.
I should've thought of some simple, believable story that might temporarily lead him astray until I mended my thoughts together, but instead, I did what I knew best.
"You were saying to cover the boot with a bag, right?" I asked Raven, hoping she would take my hint and run away with it.
She looked at me with uncertainty and her mouth fumbled open," Yes. When you take a shower or-"
"I won't let you off easy this time, little wolf." Rowen cut her off, darting an assertive look to Raven, who hastily dropped her head to the floor," And she won't save you either. Answer my question."
A sense of dread returned. It was hard to explain my feelings, even to myself, and it felt like I was always going in circles. Always complicating things. I was so scared of getting hurt and thrown away like an old sack of potatoes, but I needed to trust him. I could trust him. I owed the both of us that much.
I felt his rough fingers grip my chin, turning my head so I was facing him. He had gone into intimidating Alpha mode again, but I pushed down my fear and looked up at him. His hard eyes immediately softened as his tight grip loosened on my chin.
"Don't be scared. I'm not angry, see?" He forced his lips in a strained smile. Truthfully, it wasn't that convincing, but I tried to smile back despite how uneasy I felt. He sighed, letting his hand fall. I guess I wasn't that convincing either.
"Tell me it's not something I should worry about." He caved in, although his body language said otherwise. He was as stiff as a board.
My mouth moved to open when a throat cleared loudly in emphasis by the doorway. My breath hitched in my throat when I came in contact with the dark eyes of Alpha Aszerian, or Zerian as most addressed him, his predatory gaze as if he was restraining himself from pouncing on me at any moment. His claws were extended, piercing into his black pants leg and if Rowen wasn't here, they would most likely be lodged in my throat right now. He took 'if looks could kill' to a whole other level.
"Yes, father?" Rowen eyed him warily, a hint of irritation lacing his tone.
"I would like to speak with you for a moment." The previous Alpha directed his words to his son, but his eyes remained locked on me like he feared I would escape through his claws if he looked away. Rowen's jaw tensed as he followed his father's glowering stare, a low growl rumbling from his throat.
"I've heard what you have to say." Rowen snapped, his hand inching closer to mine. It was barely noticeable, but his pinky finger shook faintly, brushing against my thumb ever so slightly. Call it mate intuition, but I had a feeling it wasn't out of fear.
"If that were true, I wouldn't be here." His father responded, gruffly, finally tearing his eyes away from me, softening as he looked at his son. I breathed a sigh of relief in my head. It felt like an elephant had finally stopped stomping on me. "No one will touch her. You have my word."
In other circumstances, I would be honored to secure Alpha Zerian's guaranteed safety, but his frosty tone suggested I hold off my gratitude. It hurt me more that my mate's father didn't like me than it did with his siblings and even though I expected it to be like this, that didn't ease the pain I felt. I wasn't sure I would be able to change his, or anyone's mind in the future, but that didn't stop me from wanting to.
I placed my hand on top of Rowen's, sliding my fingers into the vacant space next to his.
"You should go," I insisted, despite the gnawing feeling in my stomach," I'll be okay. Alana's right outside, isn't she? She'll protect me if anything happens."
That much I was certain of, at least. He looked hesitant and I smiled weakly to encourage him, squeezing his hand.
"I'm fine." I repeated more confidently.
He laced his fingers with mine before nodding, leaning down to kiss my temple.
I watched him leave, instantly regretting my decision to send him off with his father the second his hand left mine. It was the first time he wasn't by my side and the second he disappeared from my sight, I felt a big empty void in my chest.
"It's the mate bond. Consider it one of many great side effects," Raven chuckled, lightly. "And it only grows worse with time."
I almost jumped at the sound of her voice. I forgot she was here.
"Good to know," I muttered, craning my neck away from the doorway. I cracked an apologetic smile," I'm sorry for dragging you into all of this."
"Don't be. It's been a while since there's been any entertainment in this pack." She waved her hand.
I wouldn't necessarily call any of this entertainment. Then again, that's how one would refer to a shitshow and that was the high definition of my life right now.
"Everything's been quiet since all that occurred with Luna Dahlia. Now it's come full circle."
"Luna Dahlia?" I repeated, my voice rising at the end.
"Alpha Rowen's great great great grandmother. I'm sure you've heard the story. I was a small child when it happened..."
"A c-child?" I sputtered, unable to hide my disbelief. "Wasn't that almost 400 years ago?"
"355, actually." she corrected. "I was seven at the time."
It was hard for me to wrap my head around. It was common knowledge werewolves lived for a very long time, some even living past thousands of years, but Raven appeared to look no older than her mid-twenties. Even my parents, who were far younger than her, looked older than she was. Wolves aged slowly, almost half the age of humans, but they still aged nevertheless. My teacher in pups class appeared to be in her forties and she was slightly over a hundred.
Then, I sensed something that I hadn't noticed before. Her scent was...slightly off. I was too overwhelmed with Rowen to pick up, but now that it was just me and her, it was a lot easier to detect. It was nearly the same fresh soil smell as any other wolf, but there was a twinge of tanginess mixed in between that stood out if you paid enough attention to it.
"You're half-witch."
"I see you've finally figured it out, Luna," Raven observed with a small smile and slipped a piece of paper into my hand before I could ask any questions.
I looked down at the neat handwriting, noting it was the instructions she was telling me earlier. I vaguely remembered some of the things she mentioned, but most of it flew over my head and I highly doubt I would know how to take care of my injury on my own. I only knew basic first aid which consisted of disinfectants and bandaids, so I was grateful for the help.
Raven looked out the window at the dark sky nervously and quickly reached into her bag, grabbing a bright orange bottle.
"Take these if you start to feel a lot of pain. The dose is very high, but I didn't have time to grab you anything else. Don't take more than two twelve hours apart for three days." Her words came out like rapid fire as she dropped it in my lap and hurried to put her remaining supplies in her bag.
She reached her hand out to me and I grabbed it, keeping a tight grip on the loose items in my hand while she pulled me to my feet.
"I'll help you get cleaned up, but we need to hurry. You don't have very long. The Alpha wishes for you to leave before dawn," she explained quickly, allowing me to lean on her for support. She was a smudge taller than me, so she curved her arm around my shoulders while I held onto the back of her shirt.
Just as Lilo mentioned, Alana was perched against the wall with her head tilted back, her breaths so shallow that it was hard to tell if she was breathing at all. I could faintly see her chest rising and falling as well as the slight twitch of her right foot, proving she was still very much alive, but she could fool anyone at first glance if she wanted to.
I didn't realize I stopped moving until Raven nudged me gently, nodding forward.
"We should keep moving. She'll be up when it's time to go." she said quietly, pulling me down the hall.
She led me down a hallway to the right until we reached a small bathroom. Leaving Raven in the hall, I hobbled in and flicked on the light switch, shutting the door behind me.
When I saw my reflection in the mirror, I could barely recognize myself. Although my bruises had faded away and I didn't have any serious scars, my complexion was as pale as a ghost and my skin was covered in dry blood and dirt. I licked my chapped lips and gripped the edge of the sink, my brows furrowing as I noticed a twig tangled in my hair.
Please tell me this wasn't here the whole time.
Knowing my luck, it was and I didn't even feel it. There wasn't a word to describe the emotions I was feeling right now.
I tugged at it, but my hair was wrapped around it like twisted vines. I wanted to rip it out from how frustrated I was, however, my head already ached enough without me tearing my hair out of my scalp.
A small knock thumped at the door. It creaked open barely half an inch when a familiar deep voice came through the tiny space.
"Please tell me you're decent."
"You say that like you'll be scarred for life if I wasn't," I muttered under my breath, knowing full well he could hear me.
The door pushed open slowly and a very cautious Helios peeked inside with one eye open. When he took in I was fully clothed he sighed dramatically in relief. I rolled my eyes at his antics, returning my focus to my small branch.
"It's nothing you haven't seen before," I reminded him, finally freeing the wretched thing. I massage the sore spot, alleviating some of the pressure that was created during my struggle.
"Yeah, but that was before you had a mate who'd enjoy ripping my eyes out if I did. Do me a favor and never mention that to him."
"I thought you weren't scared of him?" I teased with a smirk.
"First of all," He held up his finger," I'm not scared. I'm apprehensive of what might transpire."
"You're using big words to overcomplicate one word."
"None of those are big words. You just have a limited vocabulary."
"Are you calling me stupid?" I narrowed my eyes.
"A bit vacuous maybe, but not stupid."
I slammed my fist on his arm and although he flinched back, his face was scrunched up in laughter.
"That's the same thing," I snapped, hitting him again.
He chuckled, holding up his hands in surrender," I'm joking. I'm joking."
I scoffed at his words, but I couldn't help the small smile creeping on my face. It had been a while since we could joke around like this and it felt good having a little normacy return. A heavy feeling weighed on my chest as I debated whether I should tell him about the voices I had earlier. I hadn't heard them since, but the eerie feeling it gave me still lurked around in my mind.
"Hey, don't be mad at me. I brought your clothes." He bumped my shoulder gently before handing me a large bag filled with select pieces from my wardrobe," You really need more clothing variations, by the way. I was lucky to get there before the enraged mob raided your quart-"
I caught a flash of black inside and my chest filled with warmth as the fur of my little stuffed wolf was revealed. It brought me comfort knowing that at least it was okay, even if it wasn't real. I wrapped my arms around Helios' waist and pulled him into a hug.
"Thank you," I breathed.
His eyes crinkled with a smile as he looked down at me. He gave me a squeeze before he lightly pushed me away, holding me at arm's length.
"Unfortunately, I'm under strict restrictions when it comes to you. Your mate wasn't too amused by your actions earlier and I'm the one who's being punished for it. A bit unfair if you ask me," he grumbled.
"Punished?" I frowned, crossing my arms.
He winced as if he wasn't supposed to reveal that information and that made me all the more curious about what my mate was making my best friend do.
He shook his head, drumming his head on the counter," It's nothing. Just a bit of work"
"What type of work?" I questioned, turning my head to the side.
"I can handle it," Helios muttered, leaning back against the counter. "It's just annoying."
"Helios, tell me." I coaxed softly, urging him to cave in.
Helios hesitated, his eyes conflicted as he avoided my gaze. I nudged his arm and pleaded to him with my puppy dog eyes, adding a small pout for more effect. He chuckled, shaking his head.
"You know, that's getting old."
"Please," I begged again, "Maybe I can help."
"That's exactly what I'm afraid of."
I was offended, truly. I inhaled deeply in defeat and turned away from him.
"Get out then, I need to get dressed."
He rolled his eyes, pushing off the counter.
"Don't be like this."
"I'm not like anything."
"Says that sour look on your face."
"Get used to it then." I faced him and shoved my hands on his chest, pushing him towards the opened doorway. He pushed away my wrists like they were flies being smacked by a swatter.
"Fine. Rowen's bitter about earlier. He assigned me to double patrols on top of extra training sessions until further notice. I'll barely have time to piss once it starts, much less see you." he complained, sending a hard look to the floor.
He continued with a frustrated look on his face," He won't tell me why, but I know he's jealous you wanted me instead of him. I tried to explain that our relationship isn't like that and it was his own damn fault in the first place, but he wouldn't let me speak."
"I'll-"
"No." He cut me off, narrowing his eyes.
"But-"
"No, Mari."
"Why not? I'm your best friend," I protested," We help each other in need."
"I know, but it'll only make it worse. I'll take it like a man," he declared, pounding his chest with a fist.
"So that's what you are," I snorted.
He looked unamused.
"Okay, I won't say anything." I finally said, realizing he was right in some way.
As much as I wanted to attempt to convince him, something told me to give it some time before I started cashing in favors. He did hate me not so long ago. I wasn't sure how Rowen would feel about me questioning his orders concerning his pack even if it was for my closest friend, a guy friend at that.
"Don't worry, Mari. I'll be fine," he reassured me.
"Promise you'll tell me if it gets bad?" I held out my pinky finger.
"What are we? Kids?" He cracked a smile.
"Helios," I whined.
"Okay, I will. Don't cry." he laughed, linking his finger with mine.
"I wasn't."
"Sure you weren't."
"I hate you. Leave." I said, returning to my efforts in shoving him into the hall. He continued to laugh at me, but he didn't push my hands away this time, instead rooting his feet in the doorway.
He nodded at the bag," There should be a separate plastic bag in there. If you need help, Raven's in the hall."
"Are you coming with us?" I asked quietly, freezing all action.
"I thought you hated me?"
"For my own convenience, I've changed my mind."
He smiled faintly at my joke, but it didn't reach his eye," I can't, but you'll have Alana and Lilo. You never know, you might like them better than me."
"I don't think so," I shook my head, trying not to show how disappointed I was. It would only make him feel worse.
"They'll keep you safe and that's all that matters."
I sluggishly showered once Helios left, relishing in the warm water soothing my muscles despite my throbbing pain. It was getting less sore as it continued to heal, but it was a distracting reminder in my thoughts. I was okay with that for the moment.
Any other thoughts were dangerous for me and I didn't have the time to get lost in them like I normally did.
~~
Another fun chapter for me and I hope you enjoy it, too! I have a lot more interesting things waiting up ahead as well that I'm really excited about. Unfortunately, I've been a bit sick, so I'm a little behind schedule, but I will be returning to a more consistent schedule now that I'm feeling better. Let me know what your favorite part is so far!