let us take a moment to recall all of the good things harry has done in this book 😅
//
Harry Styles
"C'mon, could you imagine how much fun we'd all have in Paris?" Liam says, sitting in the VIP section of the bar with Niall and Angela right across from him.
"It's Elaina's trip. She asked me to come." I say as I pack up my things, getting ready to pick Elaina up from Zayn's and go home.
"Oh, like you haven't been itching to go back there." Niall makes the comment and Angela whacks him, and I just give him an annoyed glare.
"Dude, c'mon." I say. "It's different this time."
"Okay, okay. Im sorry." Niall immediately stands down, realizing his joke was a little too out of pocket.
Liam sets down his drink and furrows his brows. "Wait, but are you really gonna go to Paris and not try to track down the necklace?"
I sigh and just shake my head. "I gotta go pick Elaina up." I murmur as I start to head for the stairs.
"Are you guys coming out later?" Niall asks as Im leaving.
"Yeah, we'll be here around midnight." I tell them.
We're all meeting at the bar later to celebrate Elaina. I want her to feel supported in this next step, so I've planned a big night.
I leave the bar and get into my car down the street. I leave the window down, turn on the radio, let myself relax a little.
Things have been quiet since I left Manchester. Vincent hasn't tasked me with any jobs, and he told me he won't until I'm fully recovered.
Personally, I think I'm fine, but I'll take the time off to spend time with Elaina and hopefully build up our relationship even more.
I plan on telling her everything after Paris. I know I keep delaying it, but she can't go on this trip with the knowledge of everything.
All I can do is pray I've done enough to prove I love her, and she will eventually forgive me.
I'm trying really hard to focus on the good. We're in such a good place.
I've never been in love like this before. I'm so happy it's with her.
I pull into the driveway of Zayn's villa. Getting out of my car, I look up and see Elaina's bedroom window open and I can hear the soft music playing from inside. I smile to myself, excited to see her.
Zayn's here too, which means they were alone in the same proximity for the first time in a while. I hope they talked, at least.
I let myself in, opening the front door.
It's really quiet, that's the first thing I notice. The only thing I can hear is the music from Elaina's room.
"Hello?" I call out, walking down the hall that leads to the kitchen. I start to worry when I'm met with silence.
And then, when I walk into the kitchen, I just see Zayn at the table. He has a cigarette between his fingers, and a glass of whiskey next to him. His head is down, his back to me.
"Zayn?" I say his name, he doesn't look my way.
I take a step toward him. "What's going on?" I stand tall next to the table.
Zayn sniffs and lifts his head, he taps the end of his cigarette on the edge of an ashtray, smoke in the air. "Do you want a drink?" he asks, his voice groggy and shallow.
His eyes are red and hollow, like he had been crying.
"No, I don't want a drink." I respond. "Answer my question."
He takes another drag off the smoke and just stares numbly at the table. "You know, when Elaina first moved in here, I really didn't expect her to become one of the best friends I ever had." he says and I become more and more worried. He sniffs again and shakes his head, reaching for his drink. "But that's all over now."
My brows crease in anxious confusion. What does he mean?
What the fuck does he mean...
"Zayn, what happened? Where is she?" I start to get frustrated, needing answers.
I know she's not here.
He keeps sipping on his drink, ignoring me.
"Zayn." My voice becomes more stern.
He closes his eyes and keeps going, nearly reaching the bottom of the glass.
"Fucking god dammit, Zayn!" I smack my hands on the table, my voice raising significantly.
He snaps, standing up to match my energy. "She went to your house!" he screams at me, the smell of whiskey and smoke rolling off of him as he gets right in my face.
My eyes go wide at his reaction. "What? Why did she go there?"
Instead of answering, he just releases an exasperated laugh and tangles his hands in his hair before rubbing them over his face.
"Zayn." I say his name again.
Standing over by the fridge now, he just smiles in what seems like defeat, his hands on his hips while he shakes his head.
"I told her."
My face falls, my blood freezes.
"What the fuck do you mean you told her." I start to seethe.
He takes a step toward me. "I mean I told her where she could find the truth. And that's where she is right now."
It's like I could see red blurring my vision as a deep, hot anger ignites in me.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I lose my mind, ready to go ballistic but still also needing to get to Elaina as fast as possible.
"What's wrong with me?!" Zayn snaps back. "What's wrong with you! You were never gonna tell her!"
"You think this was the right way for her to find out? Do you realize what you've done?" I start to rush for the door.
"I'm well aware I threw our friendship out the window, but at least I had the fucking decency to tell her the truth!" he says as I'm about to leave, following me to the front door.
Seething with anger, I turn around and I get in his face one more time.
"You did this out of spite. You couldn't handle us being together, so you had to find a way to ruin it." I mutter. "You're just as fuckin' guilty as I am, Zayn."
With a clenched jaw, he doesn't say anything else, instead he watches me turn around and leave.
The second I get back into the car and start driving, I feel my hands tremble around the steering wheel. I'm coming down from the furious high and it's changing into despair and all consuming guilt.
She knows.
She knows everything.
She will never trust me again.
I speed, needing to catch her as soon as I can. There wasn't time to waste. She'll find everything out and then she'll try to get away as fast as she can.
And who can blame her? She thinks I'm a monster again.
My house was 15 minutes away but I got there in 7. I can see Zayn's car in the driveway. She's still here unless she ran away on foot. My tires screech onto the pavement and I can barely get the car in park before I'm outside and running to the door.
The front door is unlocked.
I open it quietly, not wanting to startle her.
My heart is pounding as I look around, torn between seeing her and letting her go.
But I at least need to explain myself. She deserves that.
I slowly make my way upstairs, trying to withhold how badly I wanted to break down.
I see that the red velvet curtains have been pulled open, which makes it all the more real. She came in here, where I hid it all from her.
I almost felt like I was dreaming, until I walked in through the curtains and turned my head to the right and locked eyes with Elaina standing over the desk with the truth sprawled out on the hard wood.
I couldn't handle the look of pure terror on her face when she saw me. Wet cheeks and puffy blue eyes grew wide and fearful as her breath hitched.
I breathe out a faint, "Elaina..."
She swallows, shaking her head and backing up. "N-no."
"Baby, please—" I take another step but she stumbles back again, her back hitting a shelf, books hitting the floor beside her.
"No! Get away from me!" she cries out.
My heart breaks when I realize how terrified she is of me.
I start to become desperate, my voice breaking. "El, just let me explain everything." I reach for her but she immediately pulls back and tries to run from me.
"No! Elaina!" I yell out in desperation, going after her.
She runs out of the library, running from the betrayal I've committed, running out of fear.
I manage to grab her arm before she reaches the stairs and she immediately starts to struggle, screaming and crying and grabbing onto the railing as she tries to get away from me.
"Let me go!" she cries out as I pull her into me, her back against my chest as I pin her arms to her chest.
"Stop, please. Stop, I'm not gonna hurt you." I speak painfully. She continues to fight me, kicking and screaming for her life, but she becomes weakened when her physical struggle and screams are overtaken by deep sobs.
Eventually, she's like water in my hands, my grasp being the only thing holding her up. She's crying so hard, gasping for breath, and it crushes me.
"I'm so sorry." I whisper.
"Please let me go." she sobs.
"Just let me talk to you, please..." I whisper, keeping my voice down to try and calm her down.
"Y-you wanted me dead." she speaks through her pained cries. My head falls onto her shoulder in shame, my eyes pinching shut while I hold her tight.
"Elaina, I would never hurt you—"
She whines as she struggles again and shakes her head. "You're a liar."
"Baby—"
"Don't!" she yells, enraged now, ripping my arms off of her. She turns around and looks at me, and I don't see an ounce of trust in her eyes. "Don't call me that!" she screams at me.
"Okay." I nod, trying to remain calm. "I'm sorry."
With fury and horror written all over her face, she points in the direction of the library. "Y-you were watching me. My every move."
I close my eyes and look down.
"You signed off on my fucking death note." she utters at me through her teeth with pure hatred.
I shake my head, clenching my jaw so hard that my teeth could break. "N-no, I—"
"I was a job to you and you were going to kill me!" her tone grows with rage, like the intensity was setting in for her as well.
She was keeping her distance before, standing against the wall, but then she takes a brave step forward. "Look at me!" she yells. "Look at me and tell me you were never going to end my life."
I have no choice but to lift my head, taking in a shaky inhale. I meet her eyes and I see nothing but furious pain. Tears have coated her cheeks. Her chin is quivering.
"It was different then." I murmur, knowing nothing I say can justify it.
She just releases a disgruntled scoff as her chest puffs from the situation. "And what? When you decided that you didn't want to murder me, you kept me in the dark?"
"How was I supposed to tell you something like that, Elaina?" I retort.
"You could have told me about Carter! You had a letter from my mother!" she chokes on her angry words again, letting out a cry mid sentence. "My mom! I've been writing to my dead mom for months and you had a fucking letter!"
In instinct, seeing her so devastated, I take a step toward her but she immediately steps back. "I wanted to tell you. You knew that—"
"Don't you dare. Don't you dare try to justify this." she angrily states through her tears, clenching her teeth. "Carter took my life away and you were going to finish the job whether you want to admit that to yourself or not."
I can't speak. All I can do is watch—watch as I can feel her slipping from my grasp, as I fall from the pedestal she had me on. I just watch as the love she has for me is leaving from her eyes with every passing second.
With another shaky inhale, looking at me with a frown, she says through her breaking voice, "You're a coward."
The lump in my throat will surely stop my breathing at some point. The heat behind my eyes just keeps getting hotter. Those words killed me to hear, because they were coming out of her mouth.
I want to cry. But I don't deserve to.
With my chin shaking, I look down to blink away the tears before looking at her again. I was desperate to see the look that I had gotten selfishly used to. I wanted to see love, but her stare was icy and betrayed.
"You're gonna tell me everything I need to know." she mutters, "And then I'm going to leave."
I've had nightmares about this. About her finding out and then leaving. It was all coming true. I wasn't in a dream, this was real.
And she has every right to go. I owe it to her to let her go.
I take in an unsteady inhale through my mouth, knowing that the only thing that can protect her now is the truth.
"When I was eighteen, I was assigned to a job by Vincent. It ended with an ambush by our rivals, and I killed a guy out of self defence." I begin. "As it would turn out, this guy was Carter's partner, and right before he died, he took the blood that was gushing from the gunshot wound in his stomach and he painted a smile onto his face."
As I'm explaining, I can see the disturbance that she's hiding in her face.
"This led Carter to create his own gang who wear ski masks with red smiling faces." I tell her, knowing she's encountered them before. "He and I became enemies, constantly going after each other."
"What does this have to do with the necklace?" she questions.
I breathe out in anxiousness. "As you know the necklace was my mom's." I say and her shoulders shift. "Carter is great at doing his research, and he discovered that the necklace was my prize possession. I knew I had to put it somewhere he'd never find it. So, I paid for a display spot at the Rodin Museum..."
Her lips part, realizing that it was the same museum that her art will be displayed in.
"Two years ago, in 2017, he found it. He conducted a heist and stole the necklace."
"You told me the necklace was stolen, you knew it was him the entire time." she states and I just nod in shameful response.
"I don't know what he's done with it. But I made it my mission to get it back and kill him. I went to Vincent, and he created an entire operation."
Trying to remain strong headed, she speaks. "Now where do I come in?"
"We started doing intensive research into his family. We found you through your school profile, as well as your birth certificate...and then, you came to Italy for the first time, Zayn and I spotted you at a library."
"So Vincent made Zayn befriend me."
"No." I shake my head. "No, I did. I made him do it."
She scoffs and looks down at her feet, a tear falling.
"I'm sorr—"
"Keep going." she shakes her head, not wanting to hear my apology.
I look at her not being able to look at me, and I keep going.
"You left Milan and we kept distant eyes on you. And when you returned and moved in with Zayn, he would come to us with information but ultimately, he realized you had none and he was growing attached to you..." I pause for a moment. "So that's when I stepped in."
I think back to when I was smoking against her art shed in the backyard, the first time she ever saw me. Back then I thought she was conniving—that she was just as evil as her brother and she was concealing it.
"I did everything I could to figure you out, anticipate when you'd make your move. But I slowly began to realize that you didn't know who I was...and then we followed you back to Denver, broke into your mom's old office, and found that letter."
She keeps her eyes down, crying harder but silently.
"I realized then that you didn't know who Carter was...let alone the fact that you had a brother at all." I say. "But I still had my skepticism about you, except the more I was around you, I was growing fonder and it was terrifying."
She snaps her head up to look at me. "So when did you realize that I was innocent?"
"When you told me about the fire."
Her brows furrow. "You mean you didn't know?"
I shake my head genuinely. "No. I had no idea." I state. "And then Carter began closing in on you, and I realized that it was him who started that fire and with you being the only survivor, his goal was to finish you off."
As it all sinks in for her, I can tell her panic is rising again. She averts her eyes and her breathing hitches as her hands become fidgety, her palm on her forehead and then her hair and then her chest.
She's gonna have a panic attack.
"S-so I've never been safe." she whines, choking on a sob. "Oh my god." she exhales painfully as she stumbles back a bit and grabs onto the railing overlooking the floor.
I immediately go to grab her but she extends her arm out to stop me. "Don't!" she gasps. "Don't touch me."
Breathing heavily, she turns her back to me and grips the railing with two white knuckled hands for leverage. Standing behind her, I watch her carefully.
Her breath is heavy but it's slowing. Looking over the railing, her back heaves up and down with her chest.
"What have you done." she speaks through her panicked breathing, her voice full of anguish and pain.
"I've hated myself for what I did for so long. I wanted to protect you, I swear I did—"
She starts to shake her head. "No." she whispers through her cries.
"I love you." I whisper.
She sobs. "No. No you don't. You don't do this to people you love."
Glossy haze impairs my eyesight, my throat aching with all of these things I want to say but she won't believe.
I've lost her.
Elaina Basset
I haven't felt pain like this since my family was killed, and little did I know back then that the only thing that would hurt as equally was connected to it.
He stands behind me, desperation coating every word that falls off his tongue.
I cant forgive this. Everything I loved had turned into lies. I had been constantly looking over my shoulder out of fear when in reality, half the danger I was fearing was right by my side, in the same bed, kissing my lips, taking my love.
I love so hard when I truly do love something. That's why this is ripping me apart.
I take a moment to slow my breath, still crying hard but making myself stray away from the panic attack that was clawing at my chest.
I slowly turn around, using the railing for balance. My eyes are hesitant to look at them, but as instinct would have it, they inevitably land on his face.
I see the tears that he's fighting off. I see the pain that's cutting him so deeply, I can see it in his expression.
I sniff. "I would've spent the rest of my life with you, you know? If you had only asked."
His face falls.
I exhale an anguished chuckle. "That dream is gone and dead now, I guess."
"No, don't say that." He shakes his head and he reaches for me, I don't stop him this time out of my own hearts selfishness. He grabs my hand and he lowers himself down to his knees, looking up at me with pleading green eyes.
"Let's just..." he stammers, starting to grasp at straws. "Let's run away. Me and you. We can go anywhere, change our names, and leave all of this behind us."
"Harry." I shut my eyes.
"Elaina, please. Please." he begs, his voice breaking with emotion. "Please, you're my everything."
I let out a painful sigh, feeling my hand gripped in his. My free hand covers my eyes as my palm becomes wet with tears.
This hurts so horribly bad, wanting to fold into him.
"Please." he desperately whispers again.
I move my hand and look down at him, my lip quivering.
"I've never loved anything so deeply. I love you so much and I'm so so sorry for what I've done." he says—and I believe him. "You have so much ahead of you."
I feel a sudden calmness wash over me. It's not complete, but it's there. I take in a shaking breath, and I lower myself down to his level.
I think back to the day I was going to marry Isaac, where Harry and I both sank to the floor in despair of what we thought could never be.
And now here we are.
When I'm at his level, he immediately wraps his arms around me and pulls me in. His head digs into my neck, and I feel wetness against my skin as silent tears finally fall free from his eyes.
I think he believed he would never get to hold me like this again.
He holds onto me like it's the last time, crying quietly while his fingers cling to my shirt.
I pinch my eyes shut and cry too, because I know it's the last time.
I pull back so I can rest my forehead against his, bringing my hand to his cheek and running my thumb along the bone. He exhales through his mouth as his wet eyes open.
I gently smile, grateful to be able to look at his face for a little while longer but also feeling the pain of what I have to do next so deeply.
"I love you." I whisper.
He nods. "I love you so much."
I pull my head away from his and use both of my hands to hold his face.
"Thank you for letting me adore you while I could." I say, and his head tilts in my palm, lips parting as he questions what I meant.
I continue, wanting to cry until I couldn't anymore.
"But you're right, I have so much ahead of me..." my voice breaks and he realizes what I'm saying, his face falling. "And I cant stay here."
I let go of him and I stand up, turning to leave down the stairs.
"No." he murmurs as he scrambles to his feet. "No, Elaina, please."
I have to hold back tears as I hurry down the steps. I know that if I stay here any longer then I won't leave at all.
It's too painful to watch him.
"Don't do this!" he grabs my arm and turns me around as I get to the front door.
"Let me leave, Harry." I try to say as sternly as I can.
"I'll do anything!" he cries.
I rip my arm from his grip and I open the door, his desperation hits its peak.
"No!" he begs. "Don't run from me, please! I'm begging you!"
"I hope you get your necklace and everything else you've ever wanted, Harry." I say before I make it out the door and shut it behind me, leaving him on the other side.
I run to the car, getting into the drivers seat and starting it up. The second I start driving though, I break down.
I break down into heartbroken sobs filled with betrayal and loss, anger, and pain that cut so deep that I felt like I was driving impaired.
I can't stay.
Carter will stop at nothing, but he can't get me if I'm gone...and more importantly he won't have anything to use against Harry.
I love him so much but if I stay here, we'll both die.
Dreamboat, you knew it all along, I was doomed. And that fate was only multiplied when I fell in love with you.
Our love was like gasoline. It started a fire. A dangerous one.
The flames have spread now. All I can do is pray you find a way to smother them.
//
i don't think you guys realize what's coming
likeeeeee... be afraid.
((also i hope y'all didn't forget about our little masked killer friend. i didn't.))