Gaipa woke up, laying on something soft and warm and feeling rested for the for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the gentle face of his mother, smiling down at him. Her tender smile conveyed a sense of relief and protectiveness, and she lovingly ran her fingers through his hair like she had always done it in the past, while humming her favourite song softly.
What happened?
Was this real?
"Good morning, son. Did you sleep well?" The voice of his father suddenly chimed in from behind Gaipa, interrupting his thoughts, and when he turned around, he was met with a radiant smile, one that had faded from his memory over the years. Slowly sitting up, Gaipa surveyed his surroundings, realizing he was still in his house, lying on the sofa in the living room. His father, seated on the carpet next to the sofa, was cutting Gaipa's favourite fruit - mangoes - into small slices and arranging them on a plate. Gaipa almost teared up at the nostalgic sight in front of him.
It was just like old times.
"Dad?" The sight of his father, after almost a decade of not seeing him, transported Gaipa back to his carefree childhood days where he hadn't had to worry about anything except maybe completing his homework. Gaipa had nearly forgotten the warmth of his parents' presence, a sensation he had dearly missed. Since their passing, Gaipa had harbored a persistent wish to see them again, and now, the reunion felt surreal. Yet, a lingering unease persisted within Gaipa, a feeling he couldn't shake off.
"Eat up, my strong boy!" His father demanded in a playful voice, offering the plate with the mango slices. Grinning like a child, Gaipa nodded obediently and took a slice, savoring the sweetness of the fruit. In return, Mr. Hong ruffled his son's hair affectionately, smiling genuinely at seeing his son again after so many lonely years. "After everything you had to endure, you need to regain your energy!" That sentence made Gaipa think for a moment.
Right, he had the disease...but-
Alan!
Gaipa finally remembered what had happened before he wake up. The last evening spent with Alan replayed in his mind, the shared confessions, the kisses, and the comforting embrace that lulled him to sleep.
"Wait for me, I'll be right back, okay?" Gaipa got up, quickly hugging his parents before leaving the cozy living room, and rushed up the stairs to his room, hoping his fear wasn't true. But when he opened the door, all he found was an empty bed. No sign of Alan... A sudden chill gripped Gaipa's heart as the truth dawned on him.
Was this really their end?
No, it couldn't be...they just...
Tears fell from Gaipa's eyes as he struggled to comprehend the cruelty of life. It felt like he had just regained a part of his life back, only to loose another.
The person who had cared for him the most after his parents' passing.
The one who had loved him until the end.
The one now left alone.
Alan...
As if guided by an invisible force, Gaipa slowly headed back to the living room, each movement weighed down by an emotional burden. His parents, hearing Gaipa's hesitant footsteps from behind, turned around, not surprised upon seeing their son silently crying. Gaipa with tears streaming down his face, stood before them like a vulnerable child, afraid to share them what happened. As if they knew what was plaguing Gaipa, his parents gave him an understanding look filled with unwavering, endless love.
"Shhh, don't cry, my dear son." The couple rose from their places, enveloping their weeping child in a warm and comforting embrace. "Everything is going to be alright." Gaipa's mother reassured, her hand gently rubbing circles on his back, while Gaipa's father gently cradled his son's hand in both of his own, offering comfort. As they slowly pulled away, Mrs. Hong cupped her son's cheeks, wiping away the lingering tears. Gaipa blinked away the remnants of his sorrow, nodding reassuringly as he attempted to gather himself. Eventually, he managed to calm down and met the gaze of both his parents.
He finally dared to ask.
"Mom, Dad, where am I?"
It felt so surreal to call his parents again after such a long time. It was something Gaipa hadn't done in a long time.
"You're home, Gaipa." Mr. Hong placed one hand on Gaipa's shoulder, smiling warmly, as if his answer explained all the unspoken questions in Gaipa's heart. But Gaipa immediately understood, tears building in his eyes again. Before he knew it, they began to fall again. Gaipa hugged his parents tighter, seeking solace in their physical presence to alleviate the persistent ache in his heart, uncontrollable sobs escaping him.
"Everything's going to be alright, Gaipa. We know how much you've been suffering. It's okay." Mrs. Hong reassured, her heart heavy at the sight of her son still grappling with pain, even though the physical suffering had been taken away. "Alan's gonna be fine."
"How do you know about Alan?" Gaipa asked through his sobs, somewhat surprised.
"We know everything, my son." Mr Hong explained with a reassuring smile. "Even in the afterlife we are watching over you, forever. The love we have for someone never fades; not even death can take that away."
Feeling a mix of comfort and disbelief, Gaipa slowly released his grip on his parents. He wiped away the lingering tears from his eyes, absorbing the profound truth his father had just shared. The notion that his parents were watching over him, aware of his struggles and the love he shared with Alan, provided a strange sense of solace.
"Alan's love for you is genuine, Gaipa. He cares for you deeply," Mrs. Hong continued, her voice filled with a soothing warmth. "You both share a bond that surpasses the boundaries of life and death. He'll be fine, and so will you."
Gaipa nodded, the weight on his shoulders lightening with each word of reassurance. As he took a deep breath, Gaipa's parents exchanged glances, silently communicating an unspoken understanding. Mrs. Hong gently cupped Gaipa's face again, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.
"Remember, my dear son, love transcends everything. Even in the face of life's challenges, it endures," Mr. Hong added, his words carrying a timeless wisdom. "You have our eternal love, and we'll always be with you. Now and forever."
With a final embrace, Gaipa felt a surge of warmth and love, enveloped by the ethereal connection he shared with his parents. The room seemed to glow with a gentle radiance, and Gaipa took comfort in the idea that, even in the afterlife, he wasn't alone.
In that moment, surrounded by the love of his parents, Gaipa felt a renewed strength within him. The pain of loss was still present, but the knowledge that he carried the enduring love of his parents and shared an everlasting connection with Alan brought a newfound resilience to his heart.
His parents were right.
He was finally home.
___
The second Alan woke up, he immediately knew that something was off.
There was no sound of breathing or any movements next to him and he couldn't hear the heartbeat of the other. The hands that once held Alan with warmth and life were now cold and stiff, signaling that the other had left him hours ago.
Alan didn't dare open his eyes, afraid what he might see if he did. He just clung tighter to the cold small body - almost desperately, as if his touch alone could infuse warmth back into the cold frame. Alan wanted to stay like this forever, forever holding Gaipa in his embrace. He wasn't ready to let Gaipa go, not ready to say goodbye.
As the minutes stretched into what felt like an eternity, Alan mustered the courage to open his eyes, bracing himself what he was about to see.
The first sight that greeted him was a cascade of beautiful flower petals, gently blanketing them. To Alan's relief that not even one of them was soaked with blood and the pristine white seemed to shimmer in the sunlight that flooded the room. It was a beautiful sight, almost peaceful amid the weight of loss and sorrow.
And there he lay, motionless, cradled in Alan's arms - Gaipa's lifeless body. As Alan gently brushed away the strands of hair that were covering Gaipa's face, a mixture of emotions washed over him when he saw his boyfriend's relaxed face. although burdened with the weight of loss, brought a strange sense of calm to Alan. The usual pained expression etched across the other's face had dissipated and with his eyes closed, Gaipa looked as if he was just sleeping, so peaceful as if he had finally come to rest. Despite the passage of what seemed like hours, Gaipa's skin retained its radiant, sun-kissed glow. Alan truly wished Gaipa had been able to leave the world as peaceful as he looked now, free from any pain.
Alan stayed like that, holding Gaipa and looking at him as if he had all the time in the world. For hours, he whispered how much he loved the other into the calming silence, certain that Gaipa could hear him.
He had loved Gaipa too late.
This devastating thought quickly filled Alan's mind with regret. He knew that Gaipa wouldn't want him to blame himself but Alan couldn't help but think about the "what ifs". It pained him to know what would happen if he had confessed his feelings sooner.
But then, the bitter truth echoed in his mind - Alan was certain that in other lifetimes he would likely repeat the same mistake. Over and over. Because he was a coward, the fear of change and being left behind had held him back from revealing his true emotions. In every other universe their destinies would end like this as well.
He and Gaipa could never have a future together.
They were destined to stay apart as much as they wanted to be together, forever being denied the chance at a lifetime of shared happiness.
With a profound sadness settling in his chest, Alan pressed a warm, gentle kiss on Gaipa's contrastingly cold forehead. It was an intimate farewell, a final expression of love that lingered in the hallowed space between them. Slowly rising from the bed, he tenderly covered Gaipa's lifeless form with the blanket.
As if being controlled by an invisible force, Alan dialed the emergency services, the weight of each number pressed into his consciousness. He spoke with measured composure, providing the necessary details. But his voice, laced with sorrow and restraint, conveyed the inevitable truth - Gaipa was gone, forever.
A second call followed, one that weighed even heavier on Alan's heart. He informed Uncle Jim of his friend's passing but Alan couldn't remember much of that heartwrenching call. It was like he was in a trance state, moving through a fog of grief.
When the ambulance came, Alan watched from a distance as the paramedics gently lifted Gaipa onto a stretcher, securing him like he was being tucked into bed before carefully wheeling him out of the room. Alan walked beside, holding Gaipa's hand tightly, trying to warm it up. The corridor seemed endless long, each step echoing the profound silence that had settled over his world. The paramedics acknowledged Alan's presence with compassionate nods, understanding the weight of the loss Alan was going through. Everything felt surreal for Alan as he looked down on Gaipa's lifeless body, as if a part of their shared world was being taken away.
Outside, the ambulance doors opened, revealing the sterile yet comforting interior. Alan had to let go of the cold hand he was holding and immediately his hands felt empty - no, they felt like they were burning.
The paramedics gently slid Gaipa inside, while Alan caught one last glimpse of his boyfriend's face, now serene and untouched by the burdens of life, before closing the doors and driving away. Now Alan stood there alone, watching the muted siren carrying away not only his lover but also the fragments of a future that would now forever remain unwritten.
While turning back to Gaipa's room, Alan felt like a part of him had been taken away as well, only leaving an empty hole in his heart filled with memories.
Alan was left behind, enveloped in the numbness of grief. The house, once filled with shared laughter and whispers of affection, now stood silent, haunted by the echo of a love that time had stolen away. Only one thought stuck with Alan, and he knew that it would haunt him to his death.
He had loved Gaipa too late.
And now Gaipa had left the world.
Leaving Alan behind, alone in the cold darkness.
___
The funeral was held only a week after Gaipa's passing.
Determined to honor Gaipa's memory in the most respectable way, Alan had taken care of all the arrangements, organising the funeral and covering all expenses. He ensured that the ceremony would be a fitting tribute to the life that had touched so many.
As the mourners gathered under the bright sun that seemed to cast a warm embrace over the city, it felt as if Gaipa's spirit was personally was orchestrating this perfect weather to provide a glimmer of comfort to those who had come to say their final goodbyes. The sun's rays cast a golden hue on the surroundings, creating an almost surreal contrast to the melancholic atmosphere. Alan couldn't help but feel a small comfort in the thought that Gaipa might be looking down now, overseeing the proceedings with a gentle smile.
The ceremony unfolded in a small temple adorned with white roses and soft candlelight, the air heavy with a mix of grief and gratitude for the time spent with Gaipa. Alan stood among the mourners as friends shared heartfelt stories, remembering the lively person they had tragically lost.
During the funeral, the atmosphere shifted as people shared unexpected and humorous stories about Gaipa, such ashow he was always hanging out with the old ladies, his favourite regular customers, and getting invited to their tea parties. One recounted that one time Gaipa showed up in pajamas at Jim's restaurant because he had overslept. Another story involved a hilarious attempt by Gaipa to look after another stall owner's twins which ended up with him loosing both of them while playing hide and seek in the large, maze-like market. He had found them cuddled together under a market stall's table, apparently having fallen asleep.
The funeral became a celebration of Gaipa's life. Laughter echoed through the temple, momentarily alleviating the heavy sorrow. Alan found solace in these tales, cherishing the lively memories. But he was also overcome by sadness because he wished he had experienced this side of Gaipa during their time as well. How he would love to see this stupid, bumbling and carefree version of Gaipa. Despite the bittersweet realization, Alan remained grateful for having been present in Gaipa's most vulnerable moments, offering solace and comfort in the boy's final hours.
And eventually it was Alan's turn to share memories of Gaipa. But instead of speaking about Gaipa's kindhearted nature or how much he loved him, Alan decided to honor his memory by singing the same song Gaipa had sung at his mother's funeral. The melody echoed through the temple, carrying with it the emotions and memories of both joy and loss. The hauntingly beautiful notes filled the air, leaving everyone in attendance touched by the sincerity of the homage.
Alan was unaware of the sympathetic and sorrowful glances around him. Alone on the stage he imagined how Gaipa would be sitting among the mourners in the first row and giving him an encouraging thumbs up, smiling proudly at him. Fueled by this comforting vision, Alan continued to pour his emotions into every note, a heartfelt tribute to the boy who had touched his life so deeply. Alan didn't even notice the endless tears streaming down his cheeks as he could only focus on Gaipa and his warm smile that had finally reached his eyes. As the song was coming to an end, Gaipa seemed to dissolve slowly into the warm golden air, leaving Alan with a mix of melancholy and gratitude.
This was their final goodbye.
But deep down, Alan knew it wasn't.
___
It had been two years since Gaipa's departure.
Two years of grieving.
Two years of yearning for the warmth of his smile.
Two years of feeling like something was missing that never could be found.
Two years had drifted by, yet Alan found himself unable to break free from the haunting grip of Gaipa's memory. Despite his genuine attempts to move forward, to restore a semblance of normalcy that Gaipa most likely would have wished for him, every recollection of the smaller man persisted in haunting him, causing an agonizing ache in his heart. The pain lingered persistently, a constant reminder that seemed insurmountable for Alan to bear.
Then the unexpected happened.
Alan had been feeling weak and sick for a few weeks, a persistent ailment that lingered in the background of his consciousness. Deep down, he sensed the ominous reality that it could signify, but he adamantly tried to push those thoughts aside, embracing denial in the hopes of evading a painful truth.
But on the second anniversary of Gaipa's death, while visiting his grave and keeping its pristine condition, he suddenly felt an familiarly excrutinating pain in his heart. It was a pain he had known before, and it almost stole his breath away. Unable to ignore the distressing symptoms, Alan hurried back to his apartment, locking himself in the bathroom.
In the confined space, the truth he had tried to deny manifested itself with undeniable force. A familiar cascade of red roses spilled from his lips, reminiscent of that fateful day when Wen had shattered his heart. Overwhelmed by the rush of emotions, Alan couldn't stave off the relentless onslaught, and he continued to cough up a profusion of flower petals, each one a poignant reminder of the love and loss he had experienced. The bathroom became a battleground, petals falling like a cascade around him, a manifestation of the overwhelming feelings he had desperately tried to bury within. The air was thick with the scent of roses, a poignant reminder of love and loss.
With the return of the thought defeated disease, despair filled Alan's mind. He seeked medical help and rushed to the doctor, already fearing the inevitable truth. The sterile white walls of the doctor's office felt suffocating as Alan anxiously awaited the diagnosis.
The doctors examined Alan's condition with a mix of confusion and concern. The Hanahaki disease was a rare occurrence, but encountering it twice was unheard of. The medical professionals were baffled, as they had never seen a case where someone was infected with the Hanahaki disease more than once.
Surgery emerged as a potential solution, but the harsh reality quickly extinguished that flicker of hope. The medical professionals explained that undergoing the complicated and delicate procedure required for Hanahaki disease placed immense strain on the patient's body. A single operation was already a considerable risk, and subjecting someone to another surgery provided no guarantees of survival. The prospect of a second procedure was deemed too dangerous, making Alan's situation more hopeless.
The agonizing truth settled in: there was no straightforward way to eradicate the Hanahaki disease that had resurfaced in Alan's life. The medical community grappled with the unprecedented nature of his case, leaving Alan in a state of helplessness as he faced the prospect of living with the disease once again.
Their inability to provide a cure left Alan feeling defeated. The harsh reality set in, and he understood that there was no salvation for him. His love for Gaipa was never gonna fade, even after death. And now after the break up with Wen, this was his final downfall. But loving Gaipa was worth every suffering Alan was going to endure. There was not even one moment where he regretted loving Gaipa. And with that thought Alan accepted his cruel fate that awaited, and chose to hold onto the love he had for Gaipa, no matter what.
___
And this is how it ended.
Alan had accepted his fate and endured the two agonizing months where the relentless grip of the disease exacted its toll on his already weakened body. The disease spread rapidly, so much faster than the last time. As the days unfolded, a sense of inevitability hung in the air, and Alan could feel the approach of his final moments.
On that fateful day, when his body had become a battleground for the affliction, Alan felt the relentless onslaught of coughing fits. Endless red flower petals erupted from his lips, a vivid manifestation of his internal torment. Their vibrant red hue concealed the unseen tragedy, as the flower petals were soaked in blood. In a cruel irony, it became a poignant representation of his love for Gaipa - an intense, passionate love he had harbored but tried to conceal, much like the hidden blood staining the vibrant blooms.
In the quiet solitude of his room, the air heavy with the scent of decaying blossoms, Alan faced the inevitable. As the final moments approached, Alan drew solace from the knowledge that, even in his final breaths, his love for Gaipa persisted, a poignant echo of a love that transcended the boundaries of life itself.
With a peculiar sense of calmness, as if time had granted him a temporary reprieve, Alan carefully cleansed himself. The weight of impending finality lingered in the air, yet a strange relief settled over him, knowing that today marked the end of his long suffering. As he changed into more comfortable clothing, Alan indulged the small acts of self-care before slipping under the soft embrace of his bed covers, cocooning himself within their comforting folds.
Alan surrendered to the quietude of his room. The echo of his own breathing and the rhythmic beating of his weakening heart filled the air. Alan's breathing became slower and more rhythmic, a strange sense of tranquility filling his mind. The glow of the room transformed into a serene darkness, cradling him in a peaceful embrace. As Alan closed his eyes, he felt a gentle pull, as if being carried away by an invisible current. He faintly smiled into the awaited darkness, waiting for fate to take him away.
___
When Alan opened his eyes once more, he found himself in a place bathed in soft, golden light. The surroundings were ethereal, a dreamscape that seemed both familiar and otherworldly. In the midst of this tranquil landscape stood Gaipa, looking more vibrant and alive than ever.
"Gaipa?" Alan whispered, hardly daring to believe what he was seeing.
Gaipa smiled, the warmth in his eyes reflecting an overwhelming sense of love. "Hey, Alan. Welcome back."
Alan, almost hesitantly, reached out to touch Gaipa's soft cheek. To his astonishment, the touch was not an elusive specter but a tangible connection.
Alan's heart swelled with emotion. "Is this...?"
Gaipa nodded, his eyes reflecting an infinite depth of understanding. "This is a place beyond the pain and limitations of the world we knew. A place where our love can endure."
A sense of peace settled over Alan as he absorbed the truth of his surroundings. "Am I...?"
Gaipa's smile never wavered. "You're with me, Alan." He explained calmly. "In a place where love transcends the boundaries of mortal existence."
Alan couldn't stop himself anymore and pulled the smaller into a hug, clinging onto him tightly, as if the other would disappear again if he let go. As they embraced, Alan felt an indescribable peace washing over him. The worries and suffering that had marked his earthly existence were replaced by a profound serenity. Gaipa held him with a comforting strength, his touch carrying an unspoken promise of enduring connection.
"You've endured so much, Alan," Gaipa whispered, his voice a soothing balm. "But now, here with me, you can find eternal peace." Tears welled up in Alan's eyes, and he nodded with gratitude.
"I've missed you so much," Alan confessed, his voice barely more than a breath.
Gaipa's laughter echoed like a melody as he gently pulled away from the embrace, gently wiping the tears away with is thumb, looking at Alan with endless love. "And I've been with you every step of the way, even in the moments you thought you were alone. I'll always be with you, Alan. In your heart, in your memories." Gaipa intertwined their hands and began to walk towards a radiant horizon, where the colors of dawn painted the sky with hues of hope and serenity, gently pulling Alan behind him.
As they strolled through the golden landscapes hand in hand, Alan realized that the pain, the disease, and the inevitable end were distant memories. Here, in this transcendent realm, time held no dominion, and the love they shared was an eternal flame.
Alan paused, prompting Gaipa to look up to him. He gently cupped the smaller face, placing a tender kiss on his forehead. "I love you so much, Gaipa."
Gaipa's eyes sparkled with love and gratitude. "I love you too, Alan. Even after death."
They continued their journey through meadows filled with colorful flowers, the air carrying a peaceful feeling. Each step felt like a dance, a celebration of their everlasting connection.
As they arrived at a shimmering lake, Alan and Gaipa sat by the water, their reflections mirroring the profound happiness radiating from their intertwined souls. Gaipa rested his head on Alan's shoulder, and together, they basked in the calmness surrounding them.
"Remember when we first met in your office?" Gaipa reminisced, a playful twinkle in his eyes.
Alan chuckled, the memory vivid in his mind. "How could I forget? You spilled your drink, and I thought it was the most endearing thing I'd ever seen."
Gaipa laughed, the sound echoing like a beautiful melody. "And you helped me clean up, even though it wasn't your mess."
"I knew then that you were someone special," Alan said, his gaze fixed on the horizon. "Little did I know how profoundly you'd impact my life."
Their shared memories wove a tapestry of shared laughter, joy, and even the moments of heartache. In this timeless haven, there was no room for regrets or sadness - only a celebration of the love that persisted beyond the constraints of mortality.
And as the golden light enveloped them, Alan and Gaipa knew that their love story had transcended the boundaries of mortality, eternally inscribed in the fabric of the universe.
They had finally found a home where their love could endure forever, unburdened by the constraints of the world they had left behind.
A home where not even death could part them.
Author's note:
Oh my god, I've finally finished it, even though it's really rushed. But I hope you still enjoyed this story (I'm really sorry for all this hurt and angst).
I had actually planned that Alan would survive, accepting Gaipa's death, and move on but I thought that was a bit too cruel. Well, at least they have each other now even if they both died (T-T)
Now, I need to recover from this story.
Bye bye ❤️