Third person's POV
Win watched as the students filed out of the room after his hour-long lecture. He was the only one left behind, and during that lecture Bright's gaze never left him.
It was embarrassing to cry in front of all his students but the moment he heard what Nathaniel said, tears just had his way on him.
It was a scar he can never heal and will never want to heal because he did cause that scar, he made that. It only got worse and deeper when Bright resurfaced.
A deep sigh was let out and he said to himself, move on. It was also a good thing that Bright didn't comfort him, it would be worse if he did.
I don't think I'll be able to stop crying if he came in front to console me.
He knew Bright had a lot of questions about them.
But he couldn't reveal everything yet.
In his mind, 'it was better this way'. Bright forgetting about him and him letting Bright go on with his life.
Like he didn't exist.
Like they didn't have anything to do with each other.
Like he didn't love Bright more than his own self.
Like they weren't married at all.
He then picked up his things and proceeded to walk out of the room, but to his surprise, Bright was standing outside waiting for him.
"Why are you still here?"
"Prof, can we talk?"
"Right now?"
The young man nods and Win lets out a sigh.
Didn't I just say to myself not to be linked with him anymore?
"Do you have the time right now?" Bright asked and Win looked at his wristwatch.
"I have another class waiting. We can meet up after your classes too. I think you have 3 more classes, if I'm not mistaken."
There's that confused look in Bright's face. And again, Win finds it cute, he always does. It was Bright's habit of titling his head and looking clueless and confused for a second.
"Why do you know my schedule?" He eyed the older one while taking a few steps back.
A laugh came through and for the second time, Bright became confused.
"I've been teaching here for 2 years. Don't get me wrong, I'm not following you or stalking you. I think I've memorized a few of the class schedules in this department. Students somehow complained to me about the schedules, especially juniors like you and seniors."
This time Bright was the one who sighed, a relief was taken away. He looked at Win's eyes, they were still red and it made him reach for his face. And without noticing what he did, he ran his thumb to his eye, from one end to another.
"Why did you have to cry? Was it that painful? Our past?" Bright could not explain what he was feeling but it was painful to see Win cry.
His heart ached and he couldn't understand why.
"You could have just pretended not to hear his words. Look at you, all red and sad."
Bright's words were enough to make Win cry for the second time. But this time he finally admitted that he needed Bright's loving arms again, the way he used to calm him down, the way he used to make his heart and mind at peace, the way he embraced him to make all the pain go away.
He wanted to embrace him again. To feel the warmth Bright always gives him but this time he held himself down, he can't do that anymore, he shouldn't do it.
Bright was not his husband anymore, not his lover, not his friend, they were strangers again.
And Bright felt his actions being timid, he noticed Win stopped himself and just being himself, Bright made the move. He wrapped his arms around Win's body and patted his back.
"There, there, it's alright. Everything will be alright. Just breathe and everything will be back to its usual place. For now, you can let go of what's stopping you. Cry it all out. I'll be here." Caressing his back as he whispered those words.
These words, the exact words that the old Bright used to say to calm him down. It had been so long since he heard those words. And in a blink of an eye, the rain fell down to Bright's shoulder, Win was crying nonstop.
It hurts.
God.
I missed him.
Everyday.
Why did this happen?
Why now when I thought I could forget him?
When I thought he had completely disappeared in my life.
It was a torture. He shouldn't be doing this. He should be associated with him again.
I need to stop.
This can't happen again.
And with that thought, he pulled himself out of that embrace and wiped his tears away.
"I'm sorry." eyes on the ground but Bright held his chin up.
"You don't have to say sorry. It's me who should say that. I felt like I did something so bad that caused you to cry so much. I can feel it, deep inside my heart."
"No— it will never be because of you. It's always me who brought this to the both of us. So please, never ask for my forgiveness."
Win took another breath in and calmed himself. He can't keep crying everytime he sees Bright.
Their eyes once again saw each other and Bright flashed this smile he always does to cheer Win up.
"Have you calmed yourself down now?" He asks and Win nodded. "Can I have your contact number?"
"My what now?"
"Your personal contact number."
"Why?"
"I felt like we do have some interesting past and I'd like to know the old me. I'd like to have a dinner or lunch, whatever you want. Will that be possible?"
His heart started skipping a beat for an unknown reason, but he remained still, not letting Win heart those crazy beats.
"Are you sure?"
Bright nodded and he watched Win lift his arm, touching his lips with his fingers, almost biting them as he looked at him.
There was a smile creeping behind his fingers and it made Bright choked. His face suddenly became red and embarrassed, Win started laughing and Bright started panicking.
"NO— that's not what I meant. Shi— Please, don't misunderstand me. I just wanted to know what I was before my accident."
He was smitten. He couldn't hide those red marks on his face and Bright was starting to get annoyed on how Win was reacting.
"Hey, stop looking at me like that. P-people are watching us."
"Alright." he cleared his throat and looked at Bright once again. "Hand me your phone."
And Bright did. He quickly hands his phone and Win dials his number, puts it on speaker and within seconds they hear a phone call ringing through Win's pocket. He gave him back his phone and took out his own phone to answer the call.
Win's eyes fixed his stare on Bright's and raised his phone to his ear, signaling Bright that he should put his phone on his ear too.
"It's me, Win."
"Hi?"
After that, Win ended the call and slipped his phone back into his pocket.
"Text me when, I'll make time for you."
"You will?"
"I want to help, just by a small amount. I hope I can be helpful to you though."
"I hope you will be."
"Very well, I'll see you around Mr. Opas-Iamkajorn."
"I'll see you next lecture, Prof. Opas-Iamkajorn.”
[01.23.2024]