Devale slowly walked into the bedroom he shared with Crystal, trying his best not to make too much noise that would wake her up.
"Fuck." He said to himself as he walked into his closet and began taking off his jewelry and his clothes.
He had sobered up a little, but it was too late. He had already made a huge mistake that he wish he could take back.
He sighed and leaned against the door trying to figure out how he was going to tell her. He had to tell her, or else he wouldn't be able to live with himself knowing he cheated on his wife and was keeping it a secret.
Walking back into their bedroom, he noticed the digital clock that read 4:45am. He sat on the edge of the bed Crystal rested on and watched as she slept.
He smiled a little seeing her sleeping like a baby. Devale brushed a few pieces of her hair out of her face, earning a little movement from her. He hated he was about to tell her this, but he had to. He wouldn't be able to sleep knowing he had fucked her over and betrayed their vows to one another.
"Renee." he called out, hoping she heard him. She frowned in her sleep, never waking up until he called her name again.
Her eyes opened and she stared at him with a frown on her face. It eventually went away when she realized it was only him. She sighed and sat up a little to look at the clock.
"Are you just getting in?" She asked rubbing her eyes.
He fidgeted with his hands, avoiding eye contact with her. "Baby, I messed up badly. It wouldn't be right if I kept this from you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't tell you."
She laid her head back on the pillow, "messed up how?" She asked nervously while rubbing her head . She had no clue what would come out of his mouth next, but she had a few ideas in the back of her mind.
"It just happened. I was so drunk. But the boys were in my head telling me to lighten up so I did. I don't think I've ever been this drunk before. I was getting dizzy and I was hallucinating. I seen this girl eyeing me down before but I paid her no mind. I was chilling by myself until she came over to where I was. She was on me hard and I fucked up because I didn't do anything about it but it felt like I had no power over myself. She got in the car with me and started giving me head. I didn't realize how badly I fucked up until after it happened."
She didn't say anything, but her eyes stayed glued to him. He had no idea what she was thinking, but he continued anyway just to prove to her he was indeed sorry.
"You have every reason to be upset baby. I feel so dumb for getting that drunk and I just want to apologize. I wouldn't feel man enough if I didn't just come out and tell you. I never wanted to jeopardize our marriage or even make you look like a fool. Baby, what I did wasn't intentional . I didn't even feel like myself in the moment. In all honesty it felt liked I was on drugs but that's not a reason to hurt you like I did and I'm sorry baby. " He said as his voice cracked. Fifth-teen years of marriage and Devale never did nor thought about stepping out of his marriage .
Still, she kept quiet. Because they were in the dark, Devale couldn't see the tears streaming down her face and she didn't want him to. She didn't want him to see her break. She didn't want him to have that kind of power.
She turned over, ignoring the fact that he was staring at her. It was almost 5am and she was being waken up to the worst news a woman could ask for.
She trusted him, and he went against everything he said he would never do. Alcohol or not, she could always control herself under the influence. How come he couldn't? How come he didn't just come home when he felt like something wasn't right? How could your boys even let you do such a thing when they knew you had a wife at home? So many questions were running through her head at this point.
"Baby, can you please talk to me?" He asked, but she shook her head. She had nothing to say at that moment. She just wanted to go back asleep and numb herself.
Devale finally caught on and just left her alone. He knew how she was about her emotions and how it takes long for her to process things . He took a well needed shower and was about to lay in bed with her but she stopped him.
"No," she said, her voice cracking a little, "I don't want to sleep next to you. I don't want to feel you. I don't want to see you. I don't even want to hear you breathe. Get the fuck out. "
Devale was kind of hurt and scared because one , she never talked to him like that and two, her voice became deeper. Something he never heard before. But he understood her feelings so he went to the guest bedroom instead.
X
Devale woke up to an excruciating headache, making him groan. He hated having hangovers which is why he rarely consumed alcohol. He made a vow to never do that again.
Remembering all the events of the night before made him sigh. He got out of bed and went to the bedroom he shared with Crystal. She was nowhere in sight but the bed was made and the room smelled exactly like her vanilla scent that he loved so much.
It was almost noon so he brushed his teeth and headed downstairs, hoping he would find her and they could talk. To his surprise, she was down there.
She sat on the couch eating pineapples and watching a tv show when he walked in. He noticed she was fully dressed with a new hair color as well, and designer bags surrounding her so he knew she had been up for a while.
"Good afternoon baby." He greeted, placing a kiss on her forehead.
"Don't touch me." She said, moving away from him and wiping his kiss off her forehead.
"I'm sorry," he sat next to her, but made sure he gave her enough space, "You know me Renee. You know I wouldn't do that to you. I was just so drunk and I'll never drink again."
"So now you telling me that I can't trust you when you out drinking? I can't trust you at all if we're being honest."
"Come on baby, don't be like that." Devale said, "You know I don't drink like that baby. I didn't come at the girl either. I was there to catch up with the guys and that was it. You know I would never do that to you baby please believe me."
She sat up with her bowl of fruits, going into the kitchen to get something to drink. She never did return, so Devale followed her into the kitchen.
"Tell me how I can make this up to you?" He questioned, standing in front of her in hopes it'll get her to actually talk.
"Why didn't you stop her?"
"I was really wasted Renee. That exact moment is a blur to me. I don't know why I didn't stop her, but I should have and for that, I'm sorry baby."
She shook her head, trying her best not to cry but couldn't help when the tears fell, messing up her freshly done makeup.
She couldn't understand why she was always being cheated on. Ivory father cheated on her, her first husband cheated on her, now her second husband did the exact same thing. Every guy she's been with has cheated on her and it this point, she didn't feel good enough.
Devale did so much to bring up her self-confidence, but she was now back to feeling how she was before. Unwanted, unappreciated, and having low self-esteem.
"I don't want to make you cry," he said, pulling her to him, "I'm sorry."
She didn't stop him from touching her because she needed comfort. She hated him so much, it hurts. She didn't want to leave him, but who knows if it'll happen again. Who knows if she'll ever be good enough for him ever again.
"Did I do something wrong?" She asked, making him give her a glare.
"Seriously? Why would it be something you did wrong? You're perfect for me baby, you know this."
"I don't know shit!" She said, raising her voice a little, "You're the one getting your dick sucked by another woman that's damn sure ain't me ! Am I not good enough for you? Was it because she's younger than me? Was her body better than mine? Like what was it that you couldn't even think of your wife in that moment. "
"Crystal, I was drunk. I don't know how many times I have to say that. I wasn't in my right mind. I told you that it felt like I was on drugs, like someone drugged me or something. No one could ever top you baby. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. You're perfect for me. Stop downplaying yourself. You know I hate when you do that .
" I don't give a fuck about what you hate. I hate getting cheated on but yet here I am. So when you're drunk you just lose all your common sense? You telling me you didn't think to watch your drink so no one could put something in it?" She nodded, "You're so fucking stupid."
He sighed and held her as she tried moving out of his presence. "You can call me what you want, but I know what I did was a mistake. I'm owning up to that and the consequences behind it. I fucked up and I'll continue to apologize for it. But I love you, and I'm not letting you leave me. I just can't let us do that. I can't live without you or the kids baby please."
" we're you thinking of me and the kids when you chose to get drunk? Were you thinking of me and the kids when you chose to stay out past 4am? And most importantly, were you thinking of me and the kids when you were getting your dick suck by some random bitch that probably drugged your stupid ass in the first place. " She tried pushing him out of the way, but failed since he was much bigger than her.
" Devale, stop touching me seriously. " she said
"Baby please just tell me what I can do to fix this?" He asked, "Because I can't lose you baby, I just can't. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I refuse to let you go. I'm not letting you walk away from me. You just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it."
" Well first I suggest you pack your toothbrush, and then I want you to get your socks, your shaving kit, your underwear, your prophylaxis if you think you need them, and get your ass out of my house. " She yelled
" And go where Crystal?" He yelled back
" To hell " She yelled back
" But until then, I suggest maybe the 4 seasons. " she said walking away.