Charlie
"What time do you call this?!"
"Mega lie in time," I said, "I haven't slept this well my whole life,"
"I am glad you sleep well then. Can I get you anything?"
"Can I eat fried egg?"
"As long as I fry it very well,"
"That, please,"
I sat at the kitchen table, slowly lowering myself onto the floor. I didn't feel the best, a bit dizzy, and very hungry. Calum seemed to notice, as he passed me some water. While he cooked, I stayed silent, then wolfed it down and regret it big time as it gave me heartburn.
It was gonna be one of those days. Everything was gonna go wrong.
"Are you doing okay?"
"Heartburn,"
"Michael gave us something for that. Here, take this,"
"Thank you so much,"
"That's alright. Is there anything you would like to do today?"
"Like what?"
"Go shopping, grab a cake, go to the movies?"
"You mean I can just ask to do that?"
"I can't promise the answer is always yes, but of course you can,"
"Where the fuck have you been my whole life? I would love to do all three, but I feel so shit today. Maybe another time?"
"Definitely,"
"Thanks. I think I am gonna sit on the sofa for a bit,"
"Would you like company?"
"Yes please. I feel awful,"
"That's no good. Is it just pregnancy or do you think it's something else?"
"Like what? I just feel dizzy and hot and bothered, and achey,"
"Probably just pregnancy,"
"What else could it be?" I asked, feeling my chest tighten, "Are they dying?"
"No... did anyone ever tell you much about being pregnant?"
"No. The family who found out kicked me out, and everyone since has just assumed I know. I just thought everything I felt was about being pregnant,"
"Well, given the all okay yesterday, I would guess it has been. If you are ever unsure you can always ask me,"
"Thank you,"
"All the things Michael gave us should help you feel better. I know you don't like the sound of yoga, but we can go for some walks to make sure you get fresh air everyday,"
"I am good,"
"You need to get out the house a bit, honey. It will help you out,"
"Fine,"
"I promise I am not being mean,"
"I know. I am a stay at home person for sure, which is ironic really,"
"You seem sociable to me,"
"Yeah... but at home,"
"Fair enough," he said, "Maybe we could watch a movie?"
"I feel like I keep getting things wrong,"
"You aren't,"
"I don't even know how to keep the babies safe, I haven't been going on walks,"
"You don't have to go on walks. You are doing a really good job with all of this, and it is not something you should ever have had to deal with on your own,"
"Am I really?"
"Yes. You are doing amazingly," he said, sitting beside me, "I know there is a lot you have gone through that I don't know, or might not understand, but I do know that you are doing your best,"
"Okay,"
"While you are here, you don't have to worry about food, or clean clothes, or having someone to hang out with. Maybe you will get chance to deal with some of these tricky feelings,"
"Moving around has been so hard,"
"I can't even imagine,"
"I can't believe I am fucking pregnant,"
I began to cry, and he wrapped his arms round me, hushing me quietly. This home made me feel so safe, and I was both mourning the time I hadn't had here, and the fact there was gonna be time when I was gone. I didn't wanna settle here for just 4 months, but I also wanted to let myself relax for once.
My life had turned to shit in the last couple of years. At first I had bounced between my mum, and my nanny, and the occasional home. Once my nanny had died, I lived with my mum and her awful boyfriend for a bit, but then she got involved in the wrong crowds and I ended up bouncing home to home. Ever since my nanny had gone, I hadn't felt an ounce of love, or safety.
Getting pregnant was the tip of the iceberg, honestly. I tried so hard to be fine, but lately I had hit a breaking point and while I was happy to talk to people, especially my really nice, new 'family', I felt like I was snapping from happy to sad in an instant. Pregnancy was a lot to experience, and overwhelming at the best of times.
"I know this is one of the scariest things you have ever experienced," Calum said quietly, "But I am in your corner. We need to make it as least stressful as it can be so that your babies are happy too,"
"You know, some of the homes tried to get me to end the pregnancy, or they would be so horrible about me being pregnant. I know it is my fault but like, please be nice to me,"
He didn't say anything, but the hug was enough to speak for him.
"I am glad I got to come here,"
"I am glad too. You're a real gem, you know that?"
"You think?"
"Hell yeah. Shall we find a movie?"
I let go and nodded, wiping my eyes. I was nervous to go out later ontop of this all, but deep down I knew I would have a good time. Gabi and Maddox had been so incredibly kind towards me, and even though I didn't speak to Luke and Sierra much they appeared kind too.
And Calum was so generous, to let me stay. He didn't tell me what to do about my babies, he didn't tell me my aspirations were shit- he let me exist and supported the way I wanted to do it. I knew it had only been a couple of days, but that felt like a week to my body.
We sat on the sofa and shared a blanket, watching a movie. I had my hand on my stomach, feeling them move a little bit, and hoped that one day they would get to watch a movie with their parents under a blanket, and not even realise how special that was, because they always got to do it. I hoped they got the chance to take things for granted, as backwards as that sounded.
When the film was over, Calum made us lunch and we sat outside to eat it, but I got too hot so I went and laid down with a fan afterwards. Calum brought me a smoothie, then showed me how to get the tv working and I found a show to watch.
About an hour before Maddox was due, I sat down and did my makeup, then put on the grey dress again as it would be easy to take on and off. I looked a lot older with my makeup done, and when Calum walked in he literally jumped back.
"Geez, do I look that dead normally?"
"No, but you look 17 now. You look very nice,"
"I thought it might help me actually like a dress. I am not hopeful,"
"They will all look beautiful, I am sure,"
He went to adjust my hair and I hit his hand away, immediately apologising. It was such a reflex action. He apologised too, then I did it myself and gave him a hug. I knew I would never be like my mum because hugs gave me a million times more pleasure than any drug and alcohol had. Congrats, Charlie, you have experienced a normal childhood feeling for once- a good hug. I was obsessed.
When Maddox arrived, Calum invited her in for a cup of tea, but we had an appointment so had to get going; I appreciated him trying to warm me up to her again. I was very nervous.
"Are you excited?!"
"Mhm,"
"This is one of my favourite things to do. What colour do you think you're gonna get?"
"What colour do you want me to get?"
"Blue," she whispered, "You can have any colour you want, though,"
"Why blue?"
"Ash, Cal, Luke and Michael, my parents, and Sierra, all have blue on their outfit somewhere. They're our something blue,"
"That is really beautiful,"
"Usually you wear it as the bride, but we wanted them to wear it instead. I know you are due to leave in four months but unfortunately you are actually tied to this family forever," she giggled, "They are the best,"
"I am enjoying it so far,"
"Is it weird?"
"I have moved around a lot. The only weird part is the fact Calum is actually nice,"
"Calum is the best. He literally saves Gabi's life twice, he makes the best food,"-
"Right?!"
"It is amazing, isn't it? I know he has helped Axel so much, and he holds all of Gabi's top secret secrets that no one else is allowed to know. You got a good home,"
"I wish I could stay forever,"
"What did I just say?! You can't escape,"
"How did he save Gabi's life?"
"Well, I guess technically he didn't so the surgery but she has had two kidney transplants. Her health was whacked until a few years ago,"
"Oh shit,"
"Yeah. Her whole life was hospitals, I dunno how she works in one now. I am fucking terrified of them,"
"They aren't that bad," I giggled, "Michael was very nice to me the other day,"
"I hate them,"
"I have like, a billion appointments, and I have to figure out giving birth. It isn't even one baby, Maddox, I am have fucking twins,"
"Twins! Wow,"
"Yeah. Don't have a baby, ever,"
She stayed silent and I looked over at her, gasping.
"Are you having a baby?!"
"No!"
"Your cheeks are going red,"
"I am not having a baby. How would I be having a baby?"
"There's ways round it,"
"I'm not,"
"Yes you are,"
"Okay. I am. Please don't tell anyone. We are gonna tell them at the wedding,"
"Congratulations,"
"Thank you,"
"You can't be that scared if you did all those needles,"
"Tell that to Gabi. She practically had to chase me round the house,"
"Is that your something new?"
"It isn't, but it should've been,"
"I am glad you are happy. Want two more?"
"Honestly, if I wasn't pregnant then sure," she laughed, "We want kids so badly. Gabi can't have them, and they said I might not be like... a good host or whatever, but it seems to be going okay. I have a billion and one appointments,"
"Do you want a girl or a boy?"
"Girl,"
"You are definitely girl parents,"
"We thought so too. We are here!"
Excitedly, she got out the car, so I followed her inside, my jaw gaping open. It was beautiful in here. It smelt of roses, and was full of the most gorgeous dresses in the world.
"Maddox! How lovely to see you again,"
A short woman ran over and hugged her, kissing her cheeks.
"I know! I have one more guest who needs a dress sorting. This is Charlie,"
"Nice to meet you Charlie. Can I get you guys anything to drink?"
"I would love a green tea,"
"Just water please,"
"Take a seat, I will be with you in a minute,"
We sat down and Maddox grinned at me, then the lady came back with our drinks and brought over a rack of dresses.
"Four days, Mads!"
"I know!"
"A Sunday wedding?"
"It is always easier to get everyone off work Sunday and Monday," Maddox said, "These look gorgeous,"
"Let's find one that fits the best so I can adjust it in time. Try these on,"
She passed me a pink gown, then a white one with blue flowers, so I went to the changing room and put the pink one on. It took me a while, but they were all cheery and whimsical when I got out so I don't think they cared.
"Oh you look beautiful in that,"
"Really?"
"Yeah. I will take a photo so you remember what it looks like,"
"I feel like it shows my bump too much,"
"Your bump is cute. You look cute!"
"See how the other dress feels," the lady said, "There are plenty of options,"
I went back in and changed into the other dress, smoothing it out. It fit my bump very well, and had thin mesh over the arms . It was long- too long, but other than that it was literally like cinderellas glass slipper on me.
When I stepped out, Maddox gasped, then squealed, and took a photo of it.
"Oh Charlie, that is gorgeous. You look like a princess,"
"I like it,"
"I would be able to take it up for you,"
"Do you think?" Maddox asked, "Would you like it?"
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am sure. Every girl needs an outfit fit for royalty,"
"Can I call and show Calum on your phone please?"
"Of course,"
She called him and passed it to me, then I went back to the dressing room and waited for him to answer. His face appeared and I smiled, then figured out how to turn it round to show him the dress.
"Do you like it?"
"It looks wonderful!"
"I wish I could show my nanny,"
"She is definitely watching down and thinking about how beautiful you look right now,"
"I have never worn such a pretty dress,"
"What does Maddox think?"
"She likes it,"
"Amazing! You looked really nice,"
"I feel so overwhelmed,"
"We can talk when you get home, yeah? And for now, enjoy the moment. You look beautiful,"