Ship/duo/trio: platonic (...?) Snf
Genre: hurt - comfort, fluff
Plot: George is still settling into Florida and finds it difficult to fall asleep when his mind won't stop thinking scary thoughts.
Trigger warnings: talk of depression, talk of panic attacks, talk of breakdowns, talk of loneliness, and talk of morning anxiety. They just yap abt shit tbh
AUs: none
HAVE A ONESHOT AFTER BEING INAVTICE FOR SO LONG >:)
LetUsForget you better actually PULL UP this time. You've been tardy too many times >:(
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Lay down, relax your muscles, close your eyes, and breathe.
The four steps to falling asleep. Simple tasks. Lay down in the comfort of his new bed, sink into the sheets and close his eyes, and take deep breaths. All super easy. So why did it feel impossible? He would try to relaxed his muscles but certain parts of him just won't settle down. He keeps trying to take deep breaths, but they're all so unsatisfying and it's getting to a point where his chest is sore from the forced rise and fall of his breathing. He can't seem to get comfortable in his bed and closing his eyes just isn't working. He's so tired and exhausted, yet he just isn't ready to fall asleep. And it all comes down to one question he's asking himself.
Where will I wake up in the morning?
He just moved to Florida. He's still getting used to the idea of being here after years of loneliness. Hours spent at a desk, talking to his friends that he was fully convinced he would never get to see. Long nights of pacing around his room, the only sound to be heard being pathetic sobs and the heartbreaking sound of him hyperventilating.
And he had a fear. A fear that he'll have to go back to all of that. A fear that he'll wake up, realize this was all a dream, and repeat the cycle all over again. It's been a concern in the back of his mind, but it's never interfered with his sleep like this. Not until now.
He needed something. He knew he was on the verge of peaceful sleep, he just needed some sort of comfort. Some sort of closure. Any kind of reassurance that he would be okay. That he would wake up in the morning, and stay put. But how?
He thought of a solution. An embarrassing, humiliating, awkward solution, but it was one that right now, sounded really appealing. So he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and stood up, cracking his back. Walking out of his bedroom and closing the door behind him with minimal volume, he stared at the door a few meters away from him. He slowly walked toward it, again trying to stay quiet as to not wake Dream who had announced he was going to bed a few hours ago.
He stood there. He was almost scared to raise a hand and bump his knuckle against the wood a few times, but he did. He waited anxiously for a response. Anything. A sleepy groan, a "fuck off!", anything. And he was given something.
He heard the sound of shuffling on the other side of the door, and before he knew it, there he was. There was Sapnap stood in front of him with a t-shirt and shorts, but not that stupid hat, looking tired and groggy. He wanted to apologize for waking him up, but before he could, Sapnap spoke up.
"What's up Georgie?" Sapnap sleepily asked, voice low and raspy.
"Oh- I- uh," George stuttered.
"Spit it out dude," Sapnap lightly teased.
"Sorry, I- uhm. I... can't sleep..." George said, shame in his tone as he looked at the ground.
"Why's that?" Sapnap asked. He sounded tired, yet George could still hear the slight tone of concern in his voice.
"Uhm. I- God. I'm... scared." George shamefully admitted, swallowing the string of "I'm sorry I'm so pathetic"s down and waiting for Sapnap to tear them out of him.
"Oh... okay. Are you scared of the dark or something? You could jus-"
"No. No I'm not scared of the dark I-" George sighed. "I'm scared to fall asleep," He quietly said, picking at the beds of his fingers. Sapnap, being the very observant person he was, saw the shame and anxiety bubbling in George chest and grabbed his bicep. He gently pulled him through the doorframe and closed the door behind him. George was slightly confused, but went along with it, hoping to minimize the humiliation he was about to experience. Sapnap sat down on the edge of his bed, patting the soft bedding next to him as to invite George to do the same. He complied. Anything to reduce the embarrassment.
"Why are you scared to fall asleep?" Sapnap gently asked. George couldn't bring himself to look Sapnap in the eyes. He just couldn't.
"I- it's stupid. It's an irrational fear and I really need to get over it but- tonight just isn't the night," George sighed.
"Do you feel like talking about it?" Sapnap asked.
"Not really. At least not right now. I just- need you I guess," George said.
"Okay, that's okay. How can I help you?"
"Uhm... God this is embarrassing, I think I need you to... fuck it, can you hold me?" George asked.
"Like- like hold you until you fall asleep? Like as in you want to cuddle?" Sapnap asked, trying to confirm.
"Uhm, y-yeah... if that's okay with you? I know it's a lot to ask but I just- I don't know I feel like the main problem is the idea of being alone and if I'm with you, I feel like I'll have that reassurance and-" a soft hand on his own cut him off.
"I don't mind." Sapnap gently smiled.
"W-what?" George asked.
"I don't mind. If it helps to put you at ease, I'll do it. I'm more than happy just because you asked me to. You normally don't do that," Sapnap reassured.
"I-" George smiled, wiping a tear that fell from his face. He wasn't sure what emotion that tear was for, but nevertheless Sapnap saw it.
"You okay?" Sapnap asked.
"Mhm," George nodded. Sapnap just let out a little huff and opened his arms to which George surprisingly dove into. He let Sapnap engulf him in a warm embrace, holding him close to his chest, and it was nice. It was nice to have a hand gently rubbing his back, and the grounding feeling of Sapnap's chin resting on the top of his head. It was nice to hear the soft whispers of reassurance, the comforting words that he never knew would be so satisfying coming from Sapnap's mouth. "I feel like I'm gonna wake up in London..." George muffled into Sapnap's shoulder.
"Hm?" Sapnap hummed.
"I feel like I'm gonna wake up in London. It's stupid and irrational, I know, but- it all feels so unreal. Being here with you guys, I don't deserve it. I feel like this is all one sick dream that I'm going to wake up from, feeling just as miserable as I did in London." George explained.
"That'll never happen," Sapnap said.
"Wha-"
"George, Clay and I went through the same thing when I first moved in, and I completely understand the fear." Sapnap admitted.
"How did you get over it?" George asked.
"You don't get over it. You can speed up the process, but you can't just get over it. I personally found that going back to Texas and visiting family can be helpful," Sapnap said. "Big change is a lot, and this change was even bigger for you. I guess visiting your home town can be grounding," He explained.
"But I hate it there."
"I know you do. You hated living alone, having no one to be there for you. But it's different now. You have us. But if the idea really doesn't appeal to you, we can work on other strategies," Sapnap offered.
"I... what other strategies do you have in mind?" George asked.
"I don't know. Clay and I found that making a routine can be helpful. Really helpful. Like... oh! Every morning we would have breakfast together. We wouldn't even sit at the table, we would just sit on the counter and talk with our mouths stuffed with eggs and cereal," Sapnap giggled at the memory.
"You guys are so gross," George grimaced, a little smile on his face.
"But it helped! Because it gave me a sense of routine to the point where Florida started to feel like home. And you don't worry about randomly waking up in a different country, do you?" Sapnap asked.
"I guess not," George said.
"Exactly! So we could talk to Clay in the morning if you wanted, see if we could find a routine that works for you," Sapnap offered.
"I'd like that," George smiled. He let out a sigh of contentment, and let himself relax in Sapnap's arms. This was nice. This was safe. This was warm, well, despite the cool atmosphere of Sapnap's room. He slightly shuddered at the small breeze that entered the cracked open window. Sapnap noticed. He softly apologized and held George closer as he grabbed the blankets, laying down and putting them over their bodies. George smiled in comfort and subconsciously snuggled up closer to Sapnap. He was comfortable.
As time passed, George's breaths became less controlled and softer, his mouth falling ever so slightly open. Sapnap could feel the muscles relax and how he grew heavier and heavier until it felt as though he had drifted off into that peaceful state of slumber.
When he was sure that he had fallen asleep, he placed the lightest, most caring and loving kiss to the top of his head. If George picked this to be the routine, he could be okay with it. He lightly smiled down at the boy until he heard a little giggle.
"Awe..." George fondly hummed.
"W-wha- you're awake?!" Sapnap whisper-yelled.
"For your sake, nope. Deep in sleep," George lightly giggled.
"Oh my god this is so embarrassing," Sapnap whispered, mortified.
"Why? I'm asleep," George teased.
"You're going to be asleep forever if you don't shut up," Sapnap lightheartedly threatened.
"I don't sleep talk," George giggled.
"I hate you," Sapnap looked away. George didn't need to see the pink glowing on his cheeks even if it was dark. There was silence for a few moments, and Sapnap worried that he actually messed up.
"... I love you," George smiled, then drifting off to sleep. For real this time.
Sapnap felt butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. Did George just say he loves him?! He had so many questions, so many things he wanted to ask, but he couldn't. Maybe in the morning, not tonight.
But he could definitely get used to hearing that again.
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1821 words
I literally wrote half of this in 20 mins st midnight💀
ANYWAY MORE ONESHOTS TO COME >:)
(No literally I'm in the middle of writing like 6)