❛ I cry in the afterlife. I cry hard because I have died and you're alive. I try to escape the afterlife. I try hard to get back inside your arms alive. ❜
SEASON 5, EPISODE 7&8
crossed & coda
━━━━━━ October 24, 2011
DARYL RETURNED UNSCATHED WITH startling news on Beth's location. There was a fully functional hospital inside Atlanta run by cops and held together by the previous staff. The night of Bianca and Cal's wedding, Daryl had seen the same car he had when Beth was taken. Cal was right about that much. Daryl and Carol went after it, running into Noah. He was tall and lanky, a few years younger than Bianca, with dark skin and a nervousness to him. He had been in the hospital with Beth, the pair trying to escape, but she sacrificed herself to help him get out. Now, he wanted to help her and Carol—who'd gotten hit by one of their cars—escape.
⠀⠀⠀The group prepared in the early morning. Bianca and Cal were tasked with posting boards over windows to secure the church's interior. Most of them were leaving for Atlanta, leaving the kids with Michonne and Gabriel behind to protect them.
⠀⠀⠀A fist of nerves steadily grew inside Bianca's stomach. Something gnawed at her. A will to survive another day, perhaps. They had just survived Terminus, and now they were thrown into another fight less than four hours later.
⠀⠀⠀"Maybe we should stay," Bianca said softly. Her knuckles turned white on the hammer she held. Cal held the board steady for her as she tapped the nail into the wood. "With Michonne."
⠀⠀⠀Cal glanced out of the corner of his eye towards her. "What do you mean?"
⠀⠀⠀"We don't know who these people are," Bianca explained, exhaling as she hit the nail firmly into the wood. "I'm just—I'm worried after all we've been through."
⠀⠀⠀Cal was typically all worry on how a plan would go. If, in any other fight, Bianca had asked him to turn and run, he would've done it without a second to think about it. But there was a weight on his shoulders and guilt streaking across his features that told her he couldn't just run now.
⠀⠀⠀"Beth was taken when I was feet behind her. I could have saved her—I could have—" Cal stressed, his fists clenching before he let out a heavy breath. "But I couldn't. I have to be there for her. I have to fight to get her back."
⠀⠀⠀Bianca nodded. It felt like the wrong answer, but just as Cal would run away for her, she would have to run face-first into this.
⠀⠀⠀"We'll get her back," Bianca agreed, squeezing his shoulder.
BIANCA, CAL, DARYL, RICK, Tyreese, Sasha, and Noah made it to Atlanta before sunset. Noah helped direct them to an abandoned building near the hospital, barely crawling with walkers they could hole up inside. Then, they started to line out their plan of attack using a map of the hospital Noah made for them.
⠀⠀⠀"At sundown, we fire a shot into the air. Get two of them out on patrol," Rick said. "Then, once it's dark enough that the rooftop spotter won't see us, we go. We cut the locks on one of the stairways and take it to the fifth floor. I open the door, Daryl takes the guard out."
⠀⠀⠀"How?" Tyreese asked with a deep frown.
⠀⠀⠀"He slits his throat," Rick stated simply. "This is all about us doing this quiet. Keeping the upper hand. They're not expecting us. From there, we fan out. Knives and silenced weapons. We need to be fast. Tyreese, Sasha, take them," Rick said, marking three Xs onto the floor to indicate guards. "Daryl, Bianca, you take care of whoever's in the kitchen. I got Dawn with Cal as backup. If they're smart, the rest of them will give up. Then, it'll be seven on three. Eight on three once we get a weapon to Beth."
⠀⠀⠀"Fifteen on three," Noah corrected him. "The wards will help."
⠀⠀⠀"That's best case. What's worst case?" Tyreese asked. "All it takes is one of those cops going down the hall at the wrong time. Then it's not quiet. All hands on deck. We're talking about a lot of bullets flying around."
⠀⠀⠀"If that's what it takes," Sasha said with an even face.
⠀⠀⠀"It's not," Tyreese disagreed. "If we get a couple of her cops alive out here, we do an even trade. Theirs for ours. Everybody goes home."
⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, I get it," Rick assured him, standing to his feet. "And it might work. This will work."
⠀⠀⠀"Nah, that'll work, too," Daryl stated, catching Rick's attention. "You say this Dawn, she's just trying to keep it together, right?"
⠀⠀⠀"Trying and doing are two different things," Noah scoffed.
⠀⠀⠀"You take two of her cops away. What choices does she have? Everybody goes home. Like he says," Daryl concluded, pointing at Tyreese.
A POLICE CAR SCREECHED into the alley and bumped into Noah just enough to make him unsteady. The cops had heard the multiple shots Noah fired to grab their attention, and now they were out of the car with their guns raised at him. It was hard to see anything else behind the crates, but Bianca could see the three in the cracks ever so slightly.
⠀⠀⠀"Hands up. Turn around," the woman called out.
⠀⠀⠀Noah raised his hands, and the man zip-tied his hands out in front of him.
⠀⠀⠀"I thought you were smart, Noah," the woman chastised. "You think we wouldn't hear you?"
⠀⠀⠀Noah didn't say a word, but his silence seemed to bring realization onto the male cop.
⠀⠀⠀"Where are those rotters you were shooting at?" he asked.
⠀⠀⠀Rick waved for the group to stand, and they followed with guns turned onto the cops. Rick whistled at them to grab their attention.
⠀⠀⠀"Hands," he demanded.
⠀⠀⠀"What do you want?" the woman asked.
⠀⠀⠀"Whatever this is, we can help," the man added.
⠀⠀⠀"You do what we say. We don't hurt you," Rick stated.
⠀⠀⠀They paused for a moment. Then, the man lifted his hands and raised his gun, finger off the trigger. The woman followed his action and lowered her gun to her side.
⠀⠀⠀"Good. Now, turn around," Rick said. "Put your gun on the floor and kneel."
⠀⠀⠀The two did as asked, and the rest of Rick's group moved into action. Bianca and Cal picked up the dropped weapons while Sasha cut Noah's ties, and Daryl and Tyreese tied up the two cops.
⠀⠀⠀"We need to talk. There's water if you need some and food," Rick assured them as the cops were lifted to their feet.
⠀⠀⠀"Mind if I ask you something?" the man asked, turning to Rick. Daryl held onto his shoulder with a wide berth between them, his rifle waiting in his opposite hand. "The way you talk... the way you carry yourself... were you a cop?"
⠀⠀⠀Rick sent him a steely glare, and no answer. Which seemed enough for the cop as a broad smile broke across his face.
⠀⠀⠀"Believe it or not, I was, too."
⠀⠀⠀"That's Lamson," Noah whispered to Rick. "He'll be down for this. He's one of the good ones."
⠀⠀⠀A blue car identical to Lamson's flung around the corner and started firing bullets at the group. Bianca grabbed the back of Cal's shirt and pulled him out of the car's path while Lamson and his partner jumped into the back. The doors slammed shut, and they screeched off. However, one of Sasha's bullets managed to rip a hole through the tire, forcing them to stop.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca and Cal ran with the others into a scorched area, and dozens of desiccated walkers melted into the ground. Above the site was a water tower with 'EVAC HERE' spray painted on a white sheet. The walkers groaned and reached their charred fingers out as they passed, but they weren't a threat.
⠀⠀⠀The cop car was abandoned with the left side door open, and the two cops skittered past Bianca's eye and behind a building.
⠀⠀⠀"Two! On me!" Rick called, spotting the two, and sprinted toward their hiding place.
⠀⠀⠀It took two steps for Bianca to notice Daryl's footsteps were absent. When she turned to look, she was correct that he wasn't there.
⠀⠀⠀"Stay with Rick!" she shouted at Cal, and before he could protest, she turned to sprint back the way they came. Thankfully, Cal listened and continued behind with Rick.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca stumbled into the graveyard and spotted Daryl pinned to the ground by the cop's getaway driver. Slowly, he forced Daryl's head back toward a legless walker's chomping teeth. While Bianca raised her rifle, Daryl reached behind him to find something to use as a weapon. She was much better with her sledgehammer, she thought, as she took a shot, and it whizzed right beside the driver's ear. It barely even nicked the skin.
⠀⠀⠀Daryl used the momentary distraction to gouge the walker's eyes in and used its skull to smack against the driver's head. The two men separated, breathing loudly out of exhaustion. The driver sat on his knees, his hands raised and a strange, almost taunting look in his eye as Bianca kept her gun trained on him.
⠀⠀⠀"Okay. You win, sweetheart," the driver said with a chilling grin. He knew that he was getting under her skin. As if his surrender was all a part of his plan and he was in control.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca's finger remained on the trigger, her hand swaying back and forth with her inability to stay completely still. Her eyes narrowed, and she was nearly ready to shoot him dead.
⠀⠀⠀"Bianca," Daryl said, standing to his feet. "Bianca!" he snapped.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca didn't look at him. She wanted to kill this man in cold blood for threatening Daryl. She wanted to rid the world of people who threatened people close to her, and she was beginning to despise herself. The world now made killing easier than she would've liked. It's what she didn't like seeing in Cal when he killed so brutally. It was the part of her in him that she hated. And now, she returned, ready to kill for Daryl.
⠀⠀⠀Daryl moved so he stood behind the man, in her eye line and her shot. He stared pointedly, unwilling to move so that she knew he was serious.
⠀⠀⠀"Three is better than two," he said simply.
⠀⠀⠀Beth and Carol, Bianca thought.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca's mouth screwed into a tight frown, but she nodded stiffly. She needed to focus on rescuing her friends and not some vindictive warpath that would end in her grave.
⠀⠀⠀"Your friend, what's his name?" the woman asked, but no one responded as they walked the three into their hideout. "I need to talk to him. Your plan is going to get me and my friends killed."
⠀⠀⠀"We're gonna make it work," Sasha said off-handedly.
⠀⠀⠀"It would work if you had different cops to trade," she argued, grabbing their attention by a choke hold. "Dawn's running Grady into the ground. A bunch of us want her out, and she knows it. Pretty sure she knows we want Lamson to replace her, too."
⠀⠀⠀"Dawn doesn't know that," the driver argued.
⠀⠀⠀"She might," the woman snapped back. "And she's smart. So, there's a good chance you can't make the deal work, leaving us all dead. But if you let us go, we'll take care of Dawn ourselves, and then we'll let your friends go, and this is over."
⠀⠀⠀"How long's that supposed to take?" Bianca asked, rolling her eyes at the implication.
⠀⠀⠀"However long—" the woman started.
⠀⠀⠀"Too long," Bianca snapped at her. "Every minute that passes by, their sooner dead."
⠀⠀⠀"We have been planning for months and—"
⠀⠀⠀"No, we're not gonna do that," Lamson interrupted her.
⠀⠀⠀"Do you want to die?"
⠀⠀⠀"No, I just need you to shut up right now," Lamson said tiredly. "You can make this work. But you've got to be able to talk to her."
⠀⠀⠀"Noah told us all about her," Sasha said.
⠀⠀⠀"I've known her for eight years, ma'am," Lamson said. "I know this woman. And my only interest is peaceful resolution, not dying, and sleeping in my bed tonight. So, please, let me help you. Please."
⠀⠀⠀Daryl turned to Rick and called, "Hey, Rick. You're gonna wanna hear this."
LAMSON GOT THE JUMP on Sasha. He told her a sob story about a walker outside being his friend, and when she turned her back, he knocked her unconscious and made his escape. She woke up not long after and notified everyone in a panic. Rick went out alone to find Lamson while the rest waited idly.
⠀⠀⠀When Rick returned, he was sweaty and without Lamson. He and Daryl stepped aside to discuss their next move. Lamson was dead, and he was their best bargaining chip alongside the other two cops. Bianca was thankful Daryl had talked her out of killing the driver. They'd only be down to one if she did.
⠀⠀⠀"He was a good man," Shepherd said, garnering Rick and Daryl's attention when they walked back over. "He was attacked by rotters. Saw it go down," she continued with a shrug.
⠀⠀⠀"Huh," Rick muttered, a slight tug at his lips. "You're a damn good liar."
⠀⠀⠀"We're hanging by a thread here," Shepherd retorted. "He was attacked by rotters. That's the story."
⠀⠀⠀"You said the trade was a bad idea. What changed?" Daryl asked, eyes narrowed.
⠀⠀⠀"Lamson was our shot. So, it's this, or you go in guns blazing, right? You don't want that."
⠀⠀⠀"If this is some bullshit you're spinning and things go south—"
⠀⠀⠀"I know. I know the good ones from the bad. Let us help you."
⠀⠀⠀Rick watched her, considering her claims, then turned to the driver.
⠀⠀⠀"What about you?" he asked. "You wanna live? How much?"
⠀⠀⠀The driver had that same smug look on his face as he looked up at Rick.
⠀⠀⠀"Dawn's afraid she'll look weak in front of us. Thinks it'll tip things against her. Hell, it will," he explained, and Bianca was thankful he was siding with them. "She'll see this trade as a rip-off if she thinks you took out one of our guys. So, it's a good thing Lamson got aced by rotters."
THE HOSPITAL WAS SURPRISINGLY well-lit, with the hundreds of windows lining every wall and the openness of the entire building. Some halls were still marked in shadow, but making their way through the building wasn't an absolute nightmare. It was quiet for most of their journey until they reached the higher floors.
⠀⠀⠀Cal felt sickeningly guilty for days after losing Beth. Then, he'd reunited with Bianca, Terminus nearly killed them, and he felt even guiltier that Beth's whereabouts had slipped his mind for even a second. Now, all that guilt had festered and become a beast inside him.
⠀⠀⠀"Holster your weapons," a woman's voice called through the walkies on Shepherd's shoulder.
⠀⠀⠀"You, too," Rick replied back.
⠀⠀⠀Everyone did as asked, and the doors opened. A group of four cops stood at the end of the hall. Carol sat in a wheelchair looking about as good as she had before. Beth stood behind her, about as good despite the red scrape across her forehead. Her eyes were still shiny and blue, she held a small but excited smile, and she was alive.
⠀⠀⠀"They haven't been harmed," Rick said. His words dragged Cal back to reality as he smoothed out his features of worry and returned to a neutral stance.
⠀⠀⠀"Where's Lamson?" the woman at the front, presumably Dawn, asked.
⠀⠀⠀"Rotters got him," Shepherd answered for Rick.
⠀⠀⠀"We saw it go down," the driver added.
⠀⠀⠀"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. He was one of the good ones," Dawn said, sounding both upset and yet hardly bothered at all. "One of yours for one of mine."
⠀⠀⠀"Alright," Rick nodded.
⠀⠀⠀"Move," Daryl muttered, pushing the driver forward.
⠀⠀⠀They walked halfway down and stopped to take a bag from the person escorting Carol as he took over, pushing her back to their side. Then, Dawn escorted Beth down the hall in exchange for Shepherd. Rick met her halfway, being the first friendly face Beth met with on her journey back.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca nudged Cal, noticing his nervousness; the guilt he felt made him think that maybe Beth wouldn't want to see him. But Bianca's push was right. He smiled down at her, thankful for the encouragement, and wrapped Beth into a tight, brotherly bear hug.
⠀⠀⠀"Welcome back," he whispered softly. The hospital was still eerily quiet, and it felt like everyone was staring at them.
⠀⠀⠀Beth pulled back slightly and grinned up at him.
⠀⠀⠀"Thank you! And I see you found Bianca, too," she whispered as Cal led her toward the door with the others.
⠀⠀⠀"Glad we could work things out," Dawn called out.
⠀⠀⠀"Yeah," Rick agreed.
⠀⠀⠀"Now, I just need Noah," she said, making them pause. "And then you can leave."
⠀⠀⠀"That wasn't part of the deal," Rick said.
⠀⠀⠀"Noah was my ward. Beth took his place, and I'm losing her, so I need him back," Dawn argued.
⠀⠀⠀"Ma'am, please, it's not—"
⠀⠀⠀"Shepherd!" Dawn snapped. "My officers put their lives on the line to find him. One of them died."
⠀⠀⠀"No, he ain't staying," Daryl argued, pushing Noah back.
⠀⠀⠀"He's one of mine. You have no claim on him."
⠀⠀⠀"The boy wants to go home. So, you have no claim on him," Rick snapped back.
⠀⠀⠀"Well, then, we don't have a deal," Dawn pushed back.
⠀⠀⠀"The deal is done."
⠀⠀⠀"It's okay," Noah tried to assure Rick, stepping forward.
⠀⠀⠀"No. No," Rick snapped.
⠀⠀⠀"I gotta do it."
⠀⠀⠀Beth slipped from Cal's fingers, a distraught expression crossing her face as she rushed Noah. Her arms wrapped tightly around his thin frame.
⠀⠀⠀"It's okay," he whispered sweetly to her. It felt unfair to separate the two who had become so close.
⠀⠀⠀"I knew you'd be back," Dawn said snidely to Noah.
⠀⠀⠀There was a shift in the air. Cal noticed that the look in Beth's eye wasn't the same anymore. Her previous innocence had left her the night she was taken. Now, she was tired and wrought for justice. She moved away from Noah and stood stiffly in front of Dawn.
⠀⠀⠀"I get it now," she said.
⠀⠀⠀And then, all of a sudden, warm droplets splattered across Cal's face. The taste of iron hit his tongue, and golden hair was drowned in a sea of red. He fell to his knees with a bruising force. Hands touched every part of his body, and words shot around him.
⠀⠀⠀Oh, God, Beth's dead.
⠀⠀⠀Daryl lay sobbing over Beth's body. Surprisingly, there was only one other gunshot before it was over. There wasn't a war. Just a victim, just a girl, just Beth... dead. After everything they did for her, it felt like they never had a chance. A tear slipped down Cal's cheek as Daryl lifted Beth's limp body. That's when she looked really dead. Her limbs jostled into his arms, and her eyes closed peacefully.
⠀⠀⠀"Cal, we have to leave."
⠀⠀⠀"Caliburn, it's time to go."
⠀⠀⠀"Cal, I know it hurts, but we can't stay here anymore."
⠀⠀⠀Cal stood on shaky legs, feeling the mourning in them already. Bianca was there to support him. He could still feel the blood on his face, but she was already one step ahead and wiping it off for him. She smiled, her lips quivering, pain evident in her eyes, too. But she didn't know Beth like he did. Bianca didn't know the pain that was layered by kindness and naivety. She didn't know her desperate optimism for the world. And that was okay because he needed someone to hold him up.
⠀⠀⠀Bianca was the only one able to do it.
⠀⠀⠀They walked out of the hospital, broken together, as the worst unfolded. Abraham's group returned alongside Michonne, and suddenly, Maggie's horror-struck scream emulsified the courtyard upon seeing her baby sister, the last of her family, dead.
AUTHOR'S NOTE —
Happy New Year!! Nearly two weeks in. Sorry for the lack of updates, the new year has started off rough for me. I had to get a tooth extracted, hung out with some friends, and then my dogs got into a fight so I had to take mine to urgent care :) So...
Sadly I wish I could've come back with a banger but this wasn't really my favorite. There was a lot of summarizing I had to do or else this chapter would be a lot of just what you already know and at that point I should just tell you to go watch the episode. But the end is really important for Cal.
Later today I'm getting ANOTHER tooth extracted (have good genetics kids or you're destined to always be going to the dentist. Wish me luck. The last one didn't go very well so I'm hoping this time I don't fucking feel it!!!!
SONG: Arms Tonite by Mother Mother
Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like, they keep me motivated! However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So even if you ghost read or comment every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come into this fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and until the next one.