'Growing up is strange,
Get too close, push away,
Thinking you would do the same.'
--
The next morning, Anne was greeted with a headache and a wave of regret.
Slowly her memories of the night before creeped back into her mind.
What have I done?
Anne looked over at Diana, who was sleeping peacefully with a smile on her face. She hadn't told Diana anything about what happened before they went back to the Barry home. She merely walked over to her bosom friend with a plastered fake smile and claimed to be bone tired.
The moment Diana opened her eyes, "Good mor-"
"Gilbert told me he loved me and I didn't say anything back and I think I've messed up and I don't know what to do Diana what do I do?" Anne's words came out all together in a rush.
Diana rubbed her eyes. Despite just waking up, she wasn't surprised at Anne's intensity.
She sat up, "Hold on, and let's clarify that statement."
"I'm not sure what there is to clarify!"
Anne couldn't believe she waited hours for Diana to wake up just to need clarification.
Diana sighed, "Gilbert once more has clearly stated he loves you, correct?"
Anne crossed her arms, "Yes."
"What did he say after?"
Anne could recall every tiny detail of that moment, from the smell of the fire to the feeling of his hand on her arm to the desperate look in his eyes.
"He asked me to tell him if I loved him too." Anne admitted, looking away from her bosom friend.
Mostly because she knew Diana would hate what happened next.
Diana tried to reign in her own excitement. She wished upon every daisy petal she had ever tossed into the wind that Anne finally responded with a 'yes' and confessed how she felt.
But, knowing the hysteria she woke up to, she knew the response to her question would disappoint her, no matter what it was.
"I didn't answer."
"You what?"
Anne could feel Diana's anger starting to seep through her, "I kept trying to tell him that my loving him should not impact his future."
"But you didn't answer if you love him?" Diana refused to let Anne avoid her direct question.
"I didn't. I didn't say yes or no."
At this point, Diana had it.
She picked up a pillow from behind her and whacked Anne with it repeatedly, "Anne Shirley-Cuthbert how dare you not respond when he finally directly asked you the question you've been waiting for since, oh I don't know, you met him?"
Anne protected her face until Diana stopped her attack, smiling just a bit. Despite the serious nature of the moment, she appreciated her friend and her unusual tactics.
"Well not since I met him."
Diana let out a final whack, "Anne!"
Anne blocked it and captured the pillow weapon, "How was I supposed to answer in that moment? I was drunk and overwhelmed and we were so close to each other-"
"What do you mean close?" Diana leaned forward, increasingly intrigued.
Anne recounted the entire incident to Diana. Maybe it would scandalize her in her friend's eyes a bit, but at this point, she might as well know the full story.
As Anne went through the story, Diana felt her world collapse just a bit more. She understood how close they were and she had heard some of the details from the original barn kiss and Toronto.
But Anne on top of him on the ground? Him caressing her cheek so intimately? To say it wasn't more than friendship was foolishness.
Anne watched her friend's mouth gape more and more as the story went on. She understood the hole she was digging as she told her story. She also knew she had intentionally kept some information from Diana already, notably their nights together the night of Delphine's birth and Christmas Eve.
To Anne and Gilbert, being so close was nothing new. To Diana, it was a phenomenon she'd only experience upon marriage.
After Anne finished recounting the night, Diana took one moment for it to sink in.
She stood and began pacing, "Would you complete a thought exercise with me?"
Anne, puzzled as ever, nodded, "Yes?"
"My Aunt Josephine and Gertrude faced challenges and potential losses when it came to choosing to love each other, right?"
"Yes."
"But they still chose to do so?"
"Yes, but I don't understand ho-"
Diana put her hand up silently to stop Anne from speaking and continued, "Mary had to give up her life in the Bog to come here and live with Bash in Avonlea, but she did it in the name of love, right?"
"Yes."
"Marilla chose to give up a potential courtship with John Blythe over her love for her mother and Matthew, but she knew she had both choices, right?"
"From what she's told me yes, but that's an example of a time when someone did not choose romance."
Diana pointed at her, "Exactly."
Diana sat on the bed next to Anne, "In all of these examples, the people involved who made choices knew their options, right?"
Anne sighed, now understanding Diana's point, "Yes."
"So what makes this different?"
Anne bit her lip, "One option is clearly better."
That statement made Anne's heart hurt. It was the admittance of how much better both Winifred and the Sorbonne were in comparison to just Anne Shirley-Cuthbert.
"You don't get to determine that. Aunt Josephine made her own choice, Mary chose to marry Bash, Marilla chose to stay with her family. Whether you think they made the best choice or not, the choice was theirs and theirs alone. Right?"
"Yes."
"Doesn't Gilbert deserve to know his options? Why should he be treated any lesser than all of these other people, people you know and care deeply about?"
Anne didn't have reason against Diana. Maybe she had a point that Anne was finally listening to.
"Because it involves me."
Diana rolled her eyes, "Yes it does. And he has repeatedly asked your opinion, because although it's you, he cares."
"So you think I should tell him?" Anne asked slowly.
Diana thought she was going to explode, "Of course I think you should tell him!"
Anne nodded, "Okay, I will."
But then Anne remembered the ring, "I need to tell him today. Right now!"
Diana finally felt a sense of accomplishment, "Yes!"
Anne started to jump up with intent to sprint towards the door and over to his home, but Diana swiftly slowed her down, "Maybe you should get dressed first."
Anne was now bouncing with anxiousness. She wasn't afraid to face Gilbert in a nightgown, but she probably shouldn't run across Avonlea undressed.
"Right, dressed, okay."
"I have the perfect dress."
--
The moment Anne reached the Blythe/LaCroix residence, she grasped her chest and heaved. She had been running for at least ten minutes straight, faster than she had in a while.
Once she caught her breath, she pounded on the door, "Hello? Gilbert? It's Anne, I need to-"
Her mouth shut immediately when the door opened and a sweet voice responded, "Anne! How lovely to see you."
Anne lost her will to speak as she stared back at Winifred, looking as clean and trim as ever. Her hair was pinned up with carefully picked tendrils falling out. She wore a golden dress that looked like something from a fairytale.
Anne, though in one of Diana's beautiful dresses, was untamed from her run and therefore not prepared for this encounter.
"Winifred, hello." Anne's voice shook just a little.
Winifred noticed Anne's hesitation but kept composed, "Whatever brings you here on this fine day?"
Anne stood eyes wide and mouth open when Gilbert came to the door.
"Anne?" He stood beside Winifred, his eyes alert, "Are you okay?"
Anne couldn't help but look him over. He was dressed well, but had that overwhelmed look plastered on his face. She looked down at his hand and saw him fiddling with a small black box.
The ring.
The two made brief eye contact as Gilbert stuffed the box into his pocket quickly.
Still unable to register anything happening around her, all Anne could muster was a, "Yes."
"Excuse me, Winifred." He carefully moved around her and joined Anne on the porch.
Anne snapped into reality and put on her best smile, "No, no, I'm fine."
She began backing off the porch, but Gilbert reached out and grabbed her hand before she could get anywhere, "Wait, Anne, why are you here?"
She quickly glanced at Winifred, whose smile had turned into a sad frown.
Gilbert stepped closer to Anne, "I wanted to talk after last...."
"I just wanted to say hi." She lied, not as easily as she wanted to.
Anne could see the disbelief in his eyes.
"You two should go back to..." Anne trailed for a second, trying to stop herself from imagining them together in any intimate setting, "whatever you were doing. I'll see you soon."
Anne pulled her hand out of Gilbert's and walked away, feeling her face grow hot and doing everything she could to avoid crying.
The moment she thought she was out of sight, Anne sprinted away.
--
A/N
lmao <3
Also right now this story is #1 on the annewithane tag which is likely because the fandom is more or less deceased but I'm kinda freaking out because WHAT.