CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR
[34]
song: it's not easy by ofege
Papers were sprawled out in front of her. Bills, and receipts, and all sorts of things that Cassie's grandma should've been logging in a computer instead of leaving in a paper trail.
They sat at the kitchen table together, sorting through each one and totaling it up in different ways. Then her grandma would the bank, and Cassie would listen in, and then they would keep sorting.
"What's this one?" Cassie says, handing it to her grandma.
She tilted her glasses so she could read the paper better. In the corner read Kildare County Family Clinic. "For your brother."
Cassie took it back and read it over like she'd missed something. A bill made out to Kirsten M. Crowley, patient name JJ A. Maybank. From years ago.
"Needed some vaccines to get into the high school." Her grandma shrugged it off like it was nothing. "Your dad wasn't around so I took him."
Cassie didn't remember this at all, and she wondered if they did it without her knowledge. She thought about JJ, who'd been staying at The Chateau for days now. There would never be a good enough time to ask if JJ could crash here for a while. At least until he saved up enough money for his own place. She started to bring it up, but her grandma continued before she got a word out.
"Are your friends back to school yet?" She asked, writing a few things down on a notepad.
Cassie took a breath, then shook her head. "No."
"Are they going back to school?"
"I don't know. Kiara's parents are letting her repeat this semester next year, and I'm sure Pope will go back eventually because of his scholarship."
"And have you thought about it at all?"
Cassie watched her grandma as she spoke. An awkward tension still lingering in the air. "I think I might just keep trying to find a job."
Her grandma stopped writing at this, and looked up. "Instead of school?"
Cassie tried to speak calmly, so it didn't come off as as big of a deal as it was. "Well, you said the other day that you spent Grandpa's college funds for me on Kitty Hawk, and—" she shrugged. "And no high school degree is just as unemployable as not having a college degree."
"Well, no that's not really the case at all." Her grandma was taken aback. "You don't plan on going back ever?"
"I just think if I can get a good part-time job somewhere around here I'll be able to help support us both. I can save up for my own car. And I'll be around more to help out around the house."
Her grandma laughed. "If only it were that easy."
"There's like— two months left in the semester. There's no point in going back right now. I'm gonna have to repeat it anyways."
Cassie watched as her grandma thought it over. Shocked at the fact that this wasn't an immediate no, that she looked like she might even be considering it.
"Let's talk about it later." Her grandma rubbed her forehead with a sigh, as she returned to the numbers on her notepad.
Cassie watched as she totaled up more money that she owed the bank. The number growing larger and larger every time Cassie thought she was done.
And she thought about those ten big chunks of gold in a backpack shoved under her bed right now. She wasn't sure exactly how much they were each worth, but it would surely cover this.
It would cover this, and a new car. And the money JJ owed to the city for unpaid-bills on their dad's house. And she might even have some leftover to put back into her college fund.
But she just kept thinking about the cross. Pope's cross. One of a kind, irreplaceable. Melting down to nothing, in Barry's backyard.
And now pieces of it were in her possession. And she had no idea what to do.
She hadn't spoken to Rafe since she left Barry's. Had no idea what he was doing, and frankly she didn't care. No amount of gold could make up for the fact that she was continuously used as a pawn in his games.
And with all the chaos of that night, what stuck out to her most was how he kissed her. Like he was taking it as his last opportunity before he fucked everything up. Like he knew he was in the wrong. Cassie felt used. She never asked for that. That kiss. And now it's put her in an even worse headspace.
Because when he kissed her, she was reminded of the fact that she was, in fact, very attracted to him.
Later that day she met up with everybody at The Chateau. Cassie hadn't really left the house much for a few days, and it was nice to send around in the heat with everyone and having a beer.
She fiddled with the fraying strings of her jean shorts, hugging her knees as she sat in a lawn chair in the yard. "How's Topper's truck?" Kiara asks Sarah, and Cassie props her chin up on her knees as she waits for the answer.
"It's not as bad as it looks, I guess." Sarah shrugs. "I haven't talked to him much."
"You don't think he'll tell anyone?" Cassie asks. "That it was you guys who robbed a train and had a car chase with the cops?"
"He's not that stupid." JJ says, taking a sip from his beer. "It was his truck they were after."
"You never told me how you guys ended up losing them." Cassie realized. And the group fell quiet, looking around at one another. Cleo, Pope, Sarah, Kiara and JJ. John B was 'out' Sarah said. Cassie grew confused. "What?"
"Well..." Sarah starts, straining her voice awkwardly.
"Sarah." JJ cuts her off.
And now Cassie knew they were hiding something. "What?!" She looked to her brother specifically.
"JJ got on his bike and so the cops started chasing him instead so they cornered him on the bridge, and he had nowhere to go so he went... off the bridge." Pope got out quickly. He'd been quiet all afternoon, and seemed fed up with everyone's reluctance to fill Cassie in.
"Pope, man, for real?" JJ flung his arms out with a scoff.
"You jumped off the bridge?!" Cassie's eyes widened.
"No he drove off the bridge." Cleo corrected.
JJ rubbed his eyes frustratedly. "They had their guns out."
"You could have died!" Cassie raised her voice.
"He almost did." Kiara added quietly.
Cassie whipped her head around at everyone in shock. "Seriously?!"
"Would you rather me be dead or in jail?" JJ threw out the question like there was an obvious answer.
But his sister did not land on the same page as him. "In jail?! Obviously?!"
"And it was all for nothing." Pope said quietly, his eyes focused on the ground. "An empty fucking box." He tossed a piece of a twig he'd been cutting up with his pocket knife to the side.
Cassie and Sarah exchanged subtle, knowing glances. But everyone stopped to turn as they heard The Twinkie's loud, squeaky breaks coming down the road.
"Where the hell have they been?" JJ asks, peering around the corner to watch as Big John and John B pull in.
Cassie had an inkling as to where they'd run off to. She hadn't seen of or heard anything about John B for days, no one had. He'd been with his dad, 'running errands' they said, but Cassie knew what they were doing.
"We found a diary at Mr. Sunn's house. Denmark Tanny's." John B had said, after everyone had settled down with their questions. He was leaving out specifics. Cassie was wondering when the news of the shoot-out in Mr. Sunn's house would get around, but it never did. Because John B wasn't telling anyone. "And inside it was tons and tons of entries that would have led us to something bigger than the cross. Much bigger."
Cassie watched as John B went on to explain El Dorado. He had everyone's full attention.
"...So, we um— we went to the archives in Charleston, and uh—" John B glanced at his father, who sat in the hammock behind everyone. "It was a dead end. A dry-hole, so."
Cassie didn't know if this brought her immediate relief or immediate confusion. Wondering why John B was so quick to leave out all the exciting details of this hunt when in the past, a shootout would've been something he'd be more than eager to share.
But if they hit a dead end, it meant that there were no longer targets on their back. Singh no longer had any competition in getting what he wanted, which meant they were fine. Cassie had nothing to worry about.
"So that's the gold, the cross, and now El Dorado." Pope said.
"That's three-for-three." Cleo said.
The mood dropped.
Pope threw another stick, harder this time, and with a loud huff. "The streak continues."
Kiara looked like she could've started crying. "I gotta um—" she stood from the chair quietly. "Gotta go check in with my parents, so."
JJ stood next, a deep sigh falling from his lips as he stepped on his now-empty can. "I'm going fishing." He says. "Thanks for the beer."
Cassie watched him leave, and then looked over to Pope who had his eyes closed, face tilted up toward the sun as if he was praying or something. Trying to calm down.
She wondered now how different it would be if she hadn't made the mistakes she made. If they'd all be sitting in a mansion, instead of a patchy yard, next to a barely-standing, poor excuse for a house. She surely wouldn't have spent her morning helping her grandma budget their expenses for the next six months.
But it wasn't the time to dwell on the past. She made her bed, and now she had to lie in it. All she could do now was try and mend the relationships she'd failed.
Cassie stood from her lawn chair, giving Sarah a nod in goodbye as she assumed she'd stay at The Chateau with John B.
She walked over to where Pope stood, approaching cautiously like he was a vase waiting to crack. "Hey, Pope—"
He inhaled deeply, then opened his eyes but didn't look at her. He was completely defeated.
She swallowed harshly. "Are you gonna be at your dad's shop later? I just—" she shrugged. "I need to talk to you about something."
"Yeah." Was all he got out, like he was struggling to talk.
She nodded slowly, keeping her eyes on him for a lingering moment as if to double-check on the fact that he wasn't on the urge of a breakdown.
When she found Pope later, she was approached by his father first, who carried a bucket of fresh lobster in his gloved hands. "Hi Cassidy." He'd said, struggling to get it up on the counter.
Cassie was eager to get this heavy backpack off of her shoulders, but she stoped anyways, pushing up on the bucket to help. "Hi." She said through groans.
Heyward let out a huff and stretched out his back once they got it up. "Not as easy as it used to be."
She leaned up and looked into the bucket. "Looks good." She smiled at him.
"Hope it is." He grabs an apron off the hook, then glances over to Pope who was over mopping the dock. He sighs, then turns back to Cassie. "Something's bugging him."
Cassie watches Pope. "Yeah, I know."
"Will you hand me that?" Heyward asks, gesturing to behind Cassie. She turns around and hands him a lobster pick off the drying shack. "You guys aren't getting in to trouble again are you?"
She shakes her head. "No sir."
"Alright." He says, giving Pope another glance before nodding Cassie along to go ahead and talk to him.
She pushed open the screen door from the back kitchen to get to the dock, being careful to avoid the spots he'd just mopped.
Cleo sat up on the bannister. She was talking to Pope but stopped when Cassie came in. "What's up, girl?" She greets.
Cassie smiles. "I feel like it's been ages since I last saw you guys." She tried to crack a joke.
"Time flies." Cleo reciprocated it.
Pope didn't, still mopping.
Cleo looks at him, then back to Cassie. "I'll give you guys a minute."
Cassie and Pope walked farther down the dock, away from everyone else, talking until they made it to the end. "It's not you. Or anybody." Pope had said. "I'm just so sick of this shit."
She felt the gold in the bag with every step she took. She knew this would hurt him, but she couldn't keep it. Not when it still, technically, belonged to him and his family. Not when it not being in his possession was her fault.
"I actually wanted to talk to you about that." Cassie starts. "The cross."
He looked at her for a moment, then shook his head. "You don't need to apologize, things were crazy—"
"No, I'm not apologizing—" she starts, then shakes her head. "I mean, I am, I am sorry,, but..."
Pope was confused. "Then what?"
She hesitated, then swung the bag off her shoulders. She sat down at the end of the dock, and gestured for him to do the same.
It landed with a thud, and she waited until Pope was situated before she continued. "I don't know... how to say this. So I'm just gonna—" she stops, then unzips the bag, turns it around, and holds it open towards Pope.
He looked at her, concerned, then leaned forward to look into the bag. "What is this?"
She watches him, processing his expression. "Rafe gave it to me."
He leans up. "Rafe?"
She didn't say anything. Didn't know how to put it into words without dropping a bomb on him. She let him peak back into the bag, and when he went silent, he realized what they were.
Her heart felt like it shattered as she saw the look on his face. Denial, then confusion, then back to denial.
"I'm sorry, Pope." She said quietly.
He looked up. "Is that all of it?"
"All of the gold? Or all of the cross?" She asked the second question with more hesitance in her voice.
"All of the cross."
Cassie shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know. I didn't see it. He just gave me this."
He twisted his jaw, eyes glued at the gold in the bag. "He melted it down." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
She could only nod.
Pope leaned up, letting out a loud huff and looking around at the ocean surrounding them. "Like it was nothing."
Cassie wanted to be clear in the fact that she wasn't just showing Pope to show him. She pushed the bag closer. "It's yours."
He wasn't fazed by this, still hung up on the fact that the cross was gone.
She watched him, her eyebrows upturned in worry. "I don't know how much it's all worth specifically, but it's gotta be a lot, I mean—" Cassie stopped, realizing that's not what mattered.
After a moment, Pope spoke again. "He gave this to you?"
She nodded.
"Why?"
Cassie wasn't so sure herself. "I don't know. As some sort of apology? Or to— to give what he thinks is paying me back?"
"When?"
"When did he give it to me?"
"Yes."
"A couple nights ago."
Cassie watched, waiting for Pope's expression to change when he realized she'd had it this long and hadn't told anyone. But it didn't, he still seemed to be process the fact that the cross was gone. "He had to have gotten rid of the rest already." He says, defeated. "Pawned it off."
"Yeah." Cassie fumbled with her shoelaces. "I'm sorry. I had no idea."
"It's not your fault. You couldn't have known."
And she was hit with another wave of guilt, everyone, besides Sarah, completely clueless to the fact that she'd been seeing Rafe almost every day since they got home.
"Yeah." She said again, quietly, and then realized Pope was fighting the urge not to cry. "Pope," she got out with a frown, leaning forward and hugging him.
Pope clung to her arms, his head buried into her shoulder. "I'm so sick of this shit." He repeated from earlier, crying now.
Cassie was in shock, holding onto Pope, who she'd never seen cry, break down in front of her. "It's okay." She says, trying to comfort him.
"It's not okay." Pope cried, then pulled away, his eyebrows narrowed in concern. "They're just gonna keep— keep getting away from this. Stealing from us. I'm sick of it."
Cassie thought about Rafe. Probably sat pretty in Tannyhill, surrounded by money he didn't need. Didn't deserve. She wondered how much gold he'd given her, and how much he kept for himself. If he planned to keep it as some sort of prize, or get rid of it to whatever idiot will buy it off him.
And she grew angry. And hateful. And she realized she never felt more like a Pogue in her life than she did right now. Losing, once again, to a Kook.
"Are you alright?" Cassie eventually asked.
Pope waved her off, telling her to just give him a minute. And he thanked her, and he really meant it, and he held the backpack next to him as she walked back off the dock, alone.
Cleo was in the kitchen now, and she nodded to Cassie. "What was that about?" She questioned.
Cassie let her eyes fall closed, sad and disappointed. But she heard that switchblade Cleo always took with her, always fumbling with it in her hands, and she reopened her eyes.
And she couldn't stop thinking about how much gold sat in that mansion. If there was enough to split evenly among everyone. If there was enough to make up for the fact that the cross was destroyed.
Cassie thought for a moment, then looked up to Cleo. "What are you doing tonight?"
—
song: eat your young by hozier
The engine of the fishing boat whirred quietly against the smooth waters, cicada song echoing through the trees as Cassie kept close to the shore.
Coming from around a bank, Tannyhill came into view, its glowing back porch lights the only thing leading them through the darkness.
"Sarah lives there?" Cleo whispers. She was sat next to Cassie, who held onto the stiller to keep the boat steady.
"Mhm." Cassie says, getting a lay of the land. "Or— she used to."
"And her brother is the one killed that cop?" She asks. "And got John B on the run for it?"
Cassie was realizing Cleo knew less about this than Cassie had thought. She turns and looks at her and nods. "Yes, but—" She stops herself from continuing, unsure why she was about to try and defend Rafe to her. To tell her there was more to the story than that. "Yeah."
"And now he stole from Pope?" Cleo questioned further.
Cassie nodded as she turned back to look at the house. She was anxious, but fueled with some sort of spite that she couldn't quite understand. Whether it was pure determination, or revenge, or what, she really wasn't sure what she was doing here. Or what the plan was at all.
Moments like these were when she truly started to feel like her brother, or just anyone on her dad's side. She'd grown up hearing stories about all the trouble they got themselves into, and Cassie could never imagine a situation that could cause her to act so impulsively, but here she was.
She turned the engine off and let the boat drift closer to their land, keeping them close to the tree line and hopefully out of sight.
There were a few lights on inside. She expected him to be home, but that didn't mean it was good, just meant she was gonna have to sit here and think this over for a little bit longer.
"Are you sure about this?" Cleo whispered.
Cassie inhaled sharply and shook her head. "No." The closer they got, the more she wanted to turn around.
Cleo eyed her suspiciously, then continued. "And Sarah's brother, you used to..."
Cassie kept shaking her head. "I don't know. I don't— all I know is that he has something that doesn't belong to him, and I want to get it back."
That was motivation enough for Cleo. She shrugged. "Alright. What are we looking for?"
Cassie focused her gaze ahead. "Gold."
"Gold?" Cleo says.
"Little gold pieces. They're probably in a case— or something. I don't know!" Cassie rubbed her eyes frustratedly. She was trying so hard to put herself in her friend's usual mindset. They did stuff like this all the time, with little to no hesitation. But Cassie hadn't had enough practice.
"So we winging it, or what?" Cleo asks.
Cassie was nodding before she truly processed her question. "Yeah, yeah I think so."
Cleo went around the house to the front, while Cassie covered the back. She stayed out of the light as much as she could, keeping close to the perimeter of the yard before she made it to the back porch.
Red solo cups and empty beer cans littered the yard, and a now trashed ping-pong table sat in the grass with spilled beer dripping off the sides.
Cassie couldn't say she was surprised to see the remnants of a party scattered across the property. Rafe hadn't shown face in days, and with no parents in town, and a house to himself, it didn't come as a shock to see he was slipping back into old habits.
She wondered if this was his way of celebrating or coping. If the crowds of people who pretended to like him for him, and not for his free beer, made him feel better about himself.
She pinned her back to the porch wall, just inches away from the glass kitchen door. So many times had she walked through that door with him, and here she was, about to sneak herself in.
She poked her head around and looked into the kitchen, lights on, but empty. Bringing her hand to the door knob, she turned it slowly and as quietly as possible, expecting the click of a lock, but never reaching it.
Maybe he was too drunk to remember to lock his doors. Maybe he was passed out somewhere and thought the party was still going on. Or maybe he just didn't care enough. But he was making this too easy for her.
Cassie slipped inside with a hand over her mouth, almost in disbelief at how little effort that took. There was a stiffness in the air that was unsettling, it was completely silent inside, and she wondered if he was even home.
It was like Cassie had found herself in an abandoned home that someone left the lights on in. Stripped of all its familial dignity, picture frames turned face down, trash piling up in the trash can, dishes left in the sink. That charm that Tannyhill once held was gone, and she almost felt bad.
She found herself thinking about Rafe, here, all alone, knowing his family would never be able to return yet not ready to leave this place behind. She wondered if he thought about it that deeply, if he was as sensitive to memories as she was, or if that was a part of Rafe that she had crafted in her own interpretation of him. If he even realized how much he had lost.
And she thought about his kiss again. So sudden, so unexpected. If it was even worth telling anyone that it'd happened, or if were something she wanted to keep to herself. Cassie knew that if the kiss had truly upset her, she would have spilled to Kiara and Sarah immediately. Joking about his desperate he was, how ridiculous of an attempt to spark something again it was.
But her reluctance to share was the reason she knew it meant more to her than she could even begin to comprehend herself.
Footsteps in the hall off the kitchen sent her ducking behind the counter, eyes wide as she crouched down out of sight. It was now, listening to him walk through the hall, she realized she had absolutely no idea what she was going to say to him if she got caught.
With every step he got closer, and she knew if he wasn't going to the front door, or up the stairs, he was coming in here.
And just as he was about to turn into the kitchen, a knock came from the front door.
Cassie was frozen, listening to him stop, then turn, then continue down the hall.
She sprang up as soon as she knew she was in the clear, gave the kitchen a quick scan for anything she thought could be hiding the gold, and then slipped out into the other hall.
"Hello?" Rafe's voice echoed throughout the house, groggy and almost annoyed.
When there was no response, Cassie knew that it had to have been Cleo, who had to have been watching from the front windows to know when to pull Rafe away from Cassie's spot.
"Okay." Rafe shuts the door with a loud huff, clearly frustrated but not at all thrown off with the fact that someone had just knocked on his door and ran away. "Jesus."
Cassie had slipped around another corner, hiding in the darkness of the unlit back hallway, now watching as Rafe returned back to the kitchen.
Adrenaline was coursing through her, feeling like every time she moved something was going to jump out and grab her. The only thing she had to compare this feeling to was being in a haunted maze, and she wondered how her brother did this all the time. She worried for his heart health.
She moved to the stairs now, continuously glancing behind to be sure he hadn't left the kitchen. The stairs were covered in beer cans, too. Broken glass, and sticky floors. There was the stench of vomit coming from the bathroom at the top of the stairs, and she plugged her nose as she passed it.
Rafe had turned Tannyhill into a frat house. His father would lose it if he saw his home like this. And Cassie found that almost admirable. Maybe Rafe had finally decided to stop trying so hard for his dad's sake. Whether that be because Rafe didn't care anymore, or because Rafe knew his father, a 'dead man' in many's eyes, couldn't do shit about it. Cassie didn't know.
"What the hell— get the fuck out!" She heard Rafe yell, and it startled her.
She thought she'd been caught, but he wasn't talking to her.
"The party ended hours ago, get out!" Rafe continued.
Cassie was frozen to the wall next to her, listening to the conversation downstairs.
"Sorry, I was looking for something I left." Cleo responded.
Cassie's eyes widened at her voice.
"Go, go, out—" Rafe was shooing her out the door.
"Sorry, sorry." Cleo continued.
How Rafe didn't recognize her, she didn't know. And Cassie wondered if they'd even crossed paths on that cargo ship. Surely not enough for him to register her face.
Cleo was out of the race, leaving it up to Cassie to find what they came for, and get out without being caught.
She waited for Rafe to open the front door again, timing the opening of the door beside her to mask the sound as she slipped inside. He slammed the front door shut, and she closed her own door at the same time.
She turned around to Ward's old office. Three tall windows sat on each wall, opposite a wall of book cases. A chandelier hung above two leather couches that sat beside a big cherry-oak desk. Above it, a portrait of Denmark Tanny.
She was an idiot not to bring a flashlight with her. Having to rely on the light seeping under the closed door, and the moon outside to illuminate her surroundings.
She moved to the desk first, opening every drawer and searching through it. Nothing but Cameron Development files, old notepads, and fancy pens. There wasn't even stray cash she could grab just for the heck of it.
She went to the book cases next, bending down and searching through the cabinets below it first, then pulling out every other book and peeking behind it.
Rafe wasn't an idiot. If he was having all of these people over, and not even managing to lock the door to the office, he wouldn't just leave the gold out for anyone to find it.
She glanced around quickly for a safe of some sort. Checking more cabinets, only finding dusty board games and empty whiskey bottles kept for decoration.
This was stupid. She was being stupid. Acting on whim for reasons she couldn't quite justify. A part of her, deep down, wondered if she ended up here because she wanted to stir things up between them again. To feel something exciting after days of zero communication. And part of her knew that to be true, but she also knew that her loyalty to the Pogues drove Rafe crazy. So it just so happened getting Pope's gold back went hand in hand in pushing Rafe's buttons.
But she was here now, and though she didn't walk inside and see the gold sitting out on the table ready to grab like she'd imagined, she was still determined to at least get eyes on it.
If there wasn't a safe in Ward's office, it had to be in his room.
Cassie stood up from the cabinet she bent down at and stepped quietly back to the door. She'd completely lost her idea of where he was now. She stood for a while and watched the light under the door to see if he walked past, and listened for footsteps.
She slowly twisted the door knob, moving so slow she wondered if she was even moving at all. She opened the door just barely, looking into the hallway for a few moments through the crack.
When she determined the coast was clear, she pushed the door open enough to slip back into the hallway. She had about ten seconds of peace where she thought she'd actually make it out of here without getting caught, but all of that diminished when she took a single step back into Rafe's chest.
She prepared herself to be grabbed, for someone to latch onto her wrists, or her mouth, or to yank her away at a strength she couldn't compete with.
But he didn't, he just let her bump into him, and then whip back around wide-eyed and terrified. He looked down at her, and it was as if he was expecting to find someone, but not her. He was almost disappointed, taken aback. And he examined her for a long while before he spoke. "What are you doing?" He asked in a whisper.
Cassie's heart was pounding, left over symptoms of bumping into someone you didn't know was there, and with the anticipation of what was going to happen next. She didn't know what to say, any excuse she could think up was just gonna leave her looking crazy.
He thought for a few seconds, and then it registered. "What are you looking for?" He asked, though it was obvious.
Cassie stiffened, then swallowed her nerves down to fake confidence. "How much did you take for yourself?"
Rafe got out a laugh, taking a step back in shock. "Oh, you're serious?!"
Cassie didn't falter. "I just want to know."
He was shaking his head. "You couldn't just call me, you and your friend just had to break in—"
She spun on her heel to leave. She was caught. There was no point in standing here and getting mocked for it. But he grabbed her arm and stopped her from moving any further, "They're finally rubbing off on you, huh?" He nodded at her as she turned back around to face him.
Cassie narrowed her eyes at him. "What?"
He shrugged innocently. "Breaking into my house, stealing from us. Just living up to your name now, I guess."
"I wasn't—" she stopped. "Living up to my name?"
"Come on, Cassie. You're a Maybank. You should be better at this." Rafe said. "Or did your dad not get a chance to—" he stumbled on his words slightly. "—to teach you how to be a good criminal before he ditched you?"
Cassie's mouth gapped open. Rafe was mean, she knew that. But he was never this mean, at least not with her. Her eyebrows were stitched together as she stared into his eyes, and it only took her a few seconds to recognize this behavior. Behavior she'd remembered from herself. "What'd you take?"
Rafe dropped her arm and took a step back, like he'd been caught too, though he tried to play it off.
She shook her head, determined to get an answer. "What'd you take?!"
"Don't do that." Rafe rubbed his eyes frustratedly. "Don't act like you care."
To respond with the fact that she did care felt out of place, given the fact that she'd just broken into his home and intended to steal from him. But this wasn't the time for another argument about who cared more, or who cared less, or who did right and wrong. She'd had too many of these fights with Rafe and she never won.
And Cassie was tired of losing.
She pushed past him quickly and moved down the hall, where the big door to Ward's, now Rafe's, bedroom sat at the end. She wasn't sure what she was going to do, even if the gold was right in front of her. He wasn't going to let her leave with any of it. But she thought maybe just seeing it would bring her a bit of peace. Maybe he gave her more than he kept for himself, and that at the end of this, it was Pope who won, and not him.
And though she knew that wasn't the case, she charged on anyways.
"What are you doing—" Rafe chased after her quickly, and she pushed him off her when he tried to grab her arm again.
Rafe got in front of her. "Stop it, Cassie." His voice was quiet now. "I'm serious."
She peered at him, at the way he stood in front of the door to keep her out. He couldn't have been more blatantly obvious.
"Move." She got out sternly.
He clenched his jaw. "You need to leave." He was whispering.
And now Cassie was confused. He didn't truly think that if she got past that door, she was going to scoop up all the gold into her arms and leave with it without a scratch?
But then the door opened, pushing Rafe out of the way, and a pretty girl, with short brunette hair, and bangs, poked her head out. "What's going on?" She muttered, her eyes tired like she was just woken up.
Cassie didn't process it at first. Not for the first few seconds, when everything went still. Staring at the girl, who was clueless to her surroundings, then to Rafe, who had quickly tried to shove her back into the room as if that would make it better.
And it wasn't until Rafe said, "It's not what it looks like" did she actually clock that it was exactly what it looked like.
A girl, Sofia assumedly, in his bed.
Cassie turned to leave, not angry, not upset, just at a loss for words.
"She was black out drunk—" Rafe starts, following her down the hall. "And her friends left her so I'm just letting her crash—"
Cassie was shaking her head, trying to quicken her pace as much as she could without breaking into a full on sprint. "It's fine." Was all she could get out.
"I'm not even sleeping in there. I'm in my old room. I didn't know what—"
"It's fine, Rafe. I don't care." But her heart felt like it had sunken out of her chest, and her a knot had grown in her throat.
"Cas, come on—"
She stopped at the top of the stairs and spun around. How bold it was to call her that with another girl in his room. How bold of her to act upset when they weren't even together. "Just stop, please." Her words were shaky.
And this was when it finally clicked for her. How ridiculous it all was to try and convince herself that her feelings for him were just a side-effect of a coke-infused haze. How ridiculous it was, even now, completely sober, to try and act like she didn't care.
Because if she didn't care, she wouldn't feel so sick right now. So embarrassed, and thrown away, and used, and heartbroken. If she didn't care, she'd laugh it off, and move on.
But she did. She cared a lot, too much, and for people who would never give her the same grace. The same love that she was so painfully desperate for.
"I know you used to date her, Rafe, and that's fine— so just—" she started making her way back down the stairs. "Do whatever you want. We're not together."
"Cassie."
She shook it off, and scoffed. "Am I wrong?"
"Of course you're wrong." He said it like she was an idiot. "Don't do this, don't—"
Cassie stopped again, and let her face fall into her palms. "I didn't do anything." She tried to hide her tears, but the pent up frustration would allowing it. "You messed everything up. Everything." She looked back up at him, shaking her head. "You were better, we were—" she took a breath. "We were better."
"What changed?"
Her eyes widened slightly. "You're— you're obsessed! With your dad— and the gold, and the money— and some screwed up, constant need to please someone who clearly doesn't give a fuck about you!" She was yelling now.
Rafe was taken aback, the yelling and commotion too much for his mind to handle in this state. "I messed up, I know that!" He snapped, suddenly. "But I did it for you!"
"You stole from my friend, you— destroyed the cross, for me?" She scoffed. "None of that was for your own personal gain, seriously?"
"I didn't steal from your friend. We found that cross. You and me. Not him. And I told you we'd split the money. Would you rather I just kept it all for myself?" He spoke pointedly, as if to make sure she heard it all clearly.
"If you were truly doing it for me you wouldn't have destroyed it in the first place. Because in what world did you assume that's what I would want?!"
"The world where you live in a dump, and can't even scrounge up enough money to pay for your own rehab!"
Her jaw closed, and her lips pursed together. Everything stopped for a second. And then her face started to redden. And she remembered those words the girls said at the party. Charity case.
And Rafe knew as soon as he said it that it came out all wrong. She wasn't angry, she was mortified. Humiliated. And the look on her face crushed him.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a breath, trying to gather his thoughts and wishing he never took anything. "That's not what I meant."
Cassie had already turned and left out the back door, not wanting him to see the tears fall from her eyes, not wanting him to see that he'd confirmed every doubt she ever had about him in just a few words.
"I meant I just wanted to help you!" He yelled after her, following her onto the back deck.
Cassie spotted Cleo in the fishing boat, the rusty, piece of junk that looked so out of place next to the Cameron's. It didn't belong here, it never would. No matter how many repairs it got, or how many paint jobs, it would never be pretty or shiny enough to belong in the docks at Tannyhill.
"Cassie!" Rafe called out.
She stopped, she didn't turn to face him, but she sniffled, took a breath, and looked at his Jeep parked in the driveway. If Rafe was really so eager to see her live up to her name, she might as well go all in.
There was a golf catty leaned up against one of the garages, and like it was placed there just for her, she approached it.
"What are you doing, girl? Let's go!" She heard Cleo yell.
Cassie pulled out a club, turned back around, and through yells of protest from both parties, she brought it up, and smashed it into the headlights of the Jeep.