https://djcl2710.postype.com/post/11950068
1.
I stopped by a stationery store on my way home from work. It was to buy stationery to write to Lee Ki-young. Since I had been sending messages on my phone longer than through letters, I was at a loss as to what kind of letter paper to choose. I picked up a letter paper decorated colorfully with flowers, put it back down, and looked through the designs that looked rather modest.
Having too many lines is burdensome... and the card format is too small. After thinking about it for a while, I somehow chose something the size of two palms and stood at the checkout counter. While awkwardly waiting for my turn, I thought absentmindedly. Next, let's go to Lee Ki-young's favorite bakery and buy a cake. Last time it was a whipped cream cake, but this time I thought, what should I buy?
I returned home with a cake and flowers in both hands. Things like events should be handled rather than put off. As soon as I changed my clothes, I sat down at my desk and picked up a pen. In the first line, the following was written:
To Lee Ki-young.
I looked at the five letters written on the white paper and chose what to say next. First of all, I thought I should celebrate.
We are already twenty-seven, Kiyoung. Can you believe it? We are real men now, mister.
I stopped my pen there. Actually, I didn't know what else to say. What am I doing? I don't even know what 27-year-old Lee Ki-young looks like. After hesitating for a while, I managed to write one more word. This was what I always wanted to say.
Where on earth did you go? Kiyoung.
...Please contact me.
I put down the pen and held my head. Today marks two years since Lee Ki-young disappeared.
2.
Sometimes I don't know if you're dead or alive, Kiyoung. I was out of my mind right after you disappeared, but I never think it was to this extent.
When I come to my senses, I think over the things that happened with you every day... I did more things wrong than I thought. Is that why you disappeared?
When you come back, I'll do better from now on.
Really.
3.
The new thing I learned after Lee Ki-young disappeared is that my imagination is quite wild.
Could it be that he was kidnapped? Or maybe he got caught up in some crime.
No matter how smart Lee Ki-young is, it will not be easy for him to escape if he is corrupt. What should I do if he is sold somewhere and just hopes to be rescued? When I wakes up in the middle of the night and thinks about these things, all my sleep goes away.
Still, it's okay when working at the company. Because I'm too busy to think about anything.
4.
I went to a class reunion. I want to hear some news from you.
Some people said that you tried to get into private loans and ran away because you couldn't afford it. There was also a person who mentioned Yulha and said that he ran away because he was bothered. Disgusting bastards...
Before I could even think about it, my fist went out, but thanks to that, my mouth exploded and my settlement money was also broken. I've never waved a fist in my life, but you make me do all kinds of things.
...I wonder if I went there for no reason.
5.
At first, it was difficult to fill even one page, but as the years went by, the number of pages increased, and now I was able to easily fill about two pages. With skillful hands, I took the letter out of the plastic bag, placed it on the desk, and took out a pen. The first line of this letter was going to start with news from Yulha.
Kiyoung, Yulha has moved.
She insisted on continuing to live in her original home, but finally she said she would move because she had reached the limit of her ability to pay the rent on her own.
Don't worry too much. People I know introduced her to a suitable home. It's a safe and not bad place for a woman to stay alone.
The house you used to live in... I moved in and live there. You're not criticizing me for being stuck here, what should I do with my officetel? It's just... I don't know when you'll come back. It won't work if you don't have somewhere to go when you come back... I don't know anything else, but you said you don't want to live on my shoulders.
Anyway, as soon as you come back, I will pack my bags and leave. So please take a look. The password is the same as the one you and Yulha used.
So, please come back as soon as possible. How many years am I going to have to look through your death certificate? How much longer do you have to tease me to be satisfied?
...It's already been 4 years, Kiyoung. Please let me sleep. Now, if you've bothered me that much, that's enough. If only you could tell you that you're still alive,
The busy pen stopped there. It felt like I was suddenly struck head-on by reality.
How long must we repeat these meaningless assumptions?
I ended up not finishing the letter that day.
6.
Yulha Lee cursed at me, telling me to come to my senses. I was caught mobilizing my money and connections to find traces of Lee Ki-young.
-then no?
When I asked again, Yulha Lee swore again and said,
-We won't know in a year. You've been doing that for years. Is that normal?
...Then what should I do? Are you telling me to just pretend that Lee Ki-young is not there and live like everyone else?
7.
One time, after work, I lay down on the bed in a room with the lights off and stayed still. If Lee Ki-young had seen me, he would have nagged me and scoffed at me for playing corpses, saying that he was shaking. I just stayed like that, even though those thoughts were obvious. As if just breathing was difficult.
After doing this for quite some time, the darkness became familiar to my eyes. There were also items piled up in a haphazard manner on one side of the bed. These are gifts that I couldn't give to Lee Ki-young. Dried fresh flowers and items that Lee Ki-young said he needed in passing.
In fact, they had already been bought once, so even if Lee Ki-young received them, they were useless items. Still, I couldn't buy anything else. Because Lee Ki-young, who had been secretly telling me that he needed something around his birthday, is not by my side.
After thinking about that, I closed my eyes again.
8
...It would be better if the body was found.
9
"Kiyoung."
"Just tell me if you're dead or alive."
"...Happy birthday, Kiyoung."
When I finally had no energy left to write a letter, I was so sick of doing this stupid thing anymore that I decided to wish him one last happy birthday. Afraid that I would have regrets, I fell down on the desk, empty-handed, with nothing but a birthday present and a cake, muttering into the air like a crazy person.
I think I fell asleep like that. I suddenly woke up to the sound of my cell phone vibrating. Kakao Talk arrived.
"...Join the game...what is this?"
Is this a spam text? or not...
A thought crossed my mind. Of course that can't be true. There's no way someone who's been gone for several years would suddenly send you a game invitation message. But as soon as that foolish thought occurred to me, my heart began to beat uncontrollably.
perhaps.
Yeah, maybe...
I put my finger on the confirmation button.
.
After Lee Ki-young came to the continent, how did his friend who was left on Earth without knowing anything feel? + What if a few years later, his friend on Earth also came to the continent? I wrote these thoughts together.
This is Kiyoung's birthday rendition, and I was a little worried about whether or not I could do it in this kind of atmosphere... but I'm very satisfied because I was able to write the story of Earth's friend, which I've always wanted to write about. :D
One thing that was difficult was this friend's speaking style. There's no way to know what kind of speech he uses, right? (...) So, I just wrote this while imagining what kind of speech Zen would use if he were a modern-day Earthling. It seems that he must have used complete (?) sentences in a soft and polite manner, which is unusual for young men of that age. However, I don't think he would have used the honorific term for Lee Ki-young among friends;;
Anyway, even though he usually speaks in a kind and friendly tone, he sometimes loses his temper when it comes to things related to Lee Ki-young... I wrote it with a half-Hyunseong/half-Zen feeling.
Sometimes I think about it, even if my Earth friend came to the continent, I don't think he would have specifically visited Kiyoung. It's not that she doesn't want to see him, but for some reason, if Kiyoung is happy, she'll be satisfied just watching that happiness from afar... Don't you have that image?
Even if he landed on the continent with better conditions than others, he would have quickly realized that, unlike on Earth, he had significantly less than Ki-young, and because of that, he would have realized that he could not take care of Ki-young like he used to. So, if he is happy, that is enough.. I often imagine that he would have wished Kiyoung happiness with the same sub-male mentality. This is all because he said that Lee Ki-young looked like a friend from Earth... haha
Wow, the story is long. Anyway, more than anything else, I would like to express my love and gratitude to the five people who made the sincere exchange even in the midst of their busy lives. Thank you for reading ^^