"E-excuse me?" I stammer, eyeing him up and down again, "You must be mistaken."
He laughed, struggling to put himself to his feet. I could've sworn I heard him bounce when he did that, "I understand the confusion. Don't worry, I'm not leaving you. That'd be foolish on my part."
He was approaching me as he was talking, but my mind was far away from entertaining his antics. I allowed his hand to get close to my face, before snatching and yanking it in an awkward position. He screamed out, fueling the thrill that began to revive me.
He'll have to do.
"Hostility." He stated, "I assume things didn't go smoothly with Illumi Zoldyck?"
Only then did I realize he was unaffected by my Nen and he was holding my other wrist. Next thing I know, I was thrown to the bed and Julian was towering down on me, "Dad never said anything about not doing what I want with you... I mean, you are my wife after all."
It's not a case of some big realization dawned on me or I was afraid. The reason I didn't... couldn't react was because his Nen surprised me. It was smothering, cutting off my airways slowly but surely as it gnashed and clawed at my hearing. I was struggling to keep up my defenses against his every hit, which though I know I would survive, still felt painful. He hovered his hand over my chest afterwards, and as if on cue, a strange, stronger series of sensations consumed my whole body. What's better is that I couldn't even scream to express how much it hurt me.
The Numere Wetlands was the kind of environment I liked when it came to missions. I remember sneaking away from Gittarackur when he was preoccupied by his thoughts, only to run into some familiar mercenaries. Our talk didn't last before I noticed they were suppressing something, and similarly to my current situation, I couldn't fight back to save my life. All that I did was exhaust them, avoiding their attacks until I eventually got cornered after depending on a tree for too long.
How I cursed my own powers in that moment bore no difference to how I'm cursing my powers now. The lack of vigor I recognized in my being wasn't unfamiliar; I wasn't with a Certain.
So close.
"Now for the next round." I barely understood the words that hit my ears next, much too occupied with the sounds of my own heart doing its best to ensure the blood presence through my whole body. It's dedicated to its purpose... much like... like Illumi.
Something jagged shot up my spine, quickly followed by the bedframe slamming on the side of my head. At least my brain could still... still let me curse.
When I lost him, everything in my life changed for the worst. I've heard what comatose is like, but that couldn't even compare to how quickly I came back to nothing. I lost weight, preferred to hole up in my room unless I really have to move, never sustained myself until I was in the brink, and such. Only Amira could get a reaction out of me, and even that she couldn't do without difficulty.
I know why I lost him, and what went wrong, but at the same time, I'm also aware that I can't change what happened. I can't change the fact that he's dead.
I weakly touched what felt like stone as black dots began to cloud my vision. Short, ragged breaths escape my lips while I felt my head break into splinters. I mentally berated myself for believing the pain would subside, as it magnified the next wave of torturous Nen twofold. Never... never trust anything... and anyone.
Nothing could come out of me. Not tears, not screams, not powers... I would surely enjoy haunting... this boy.
You're pathetic... you know that?
Yep.
Wow... I'm actually talking... talking to myself... he must be doing a... a very good job.
"Mom, she's four years old!!" Nee-sama kept protesting, even as I was already in the separate room. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could see them through the mirror above the door. She and mom were arguing, and from the look on the latter's face, Amira-nee was defending me in vain.
"Akira," Mom's soft voice filled the room, and I kept myself from recognizing the feigned emotion in her expression, "We're going to begin now, my child. From a hundred volts..."
The similarity I felt between both forms of torture made me slightly immune to the one I'm receiving at the moment, and for that I let myself feel grateful.
On a lighter note, maybe the family... this could be the start of... of a tradition... who dies the most... the most pathetic death...
I'll carry you the rest of the way."
I remember a cacophony of different alarms ringing in my head after Illumi said that. It was an act that went too far; I intended to test the extent of my powers on Hisoka, not him.
I could never touch anyone without stealing their life essence for myself. I begin to wear gloves for the sole purpose of being able to hold someone else without leeching off of them. I swore never to do that again.
By now, Julian's taunts became incomprehensible to me. My hearing functions like it was being submerged and he was speaking above the surface of the water. Well, if my ears aren't working properly anymore, that means the rest of my senses are on their way.
Was I ready...?
Hell no.
Do I have a choice...?
Hah... hell no.
A small smile comes to my lips.
~
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