Includes Isagi, Kunigami, Barou, Chigiri, Nagi, Reo, Kaiser and Ness
Disclaimers: The percentages are not realistic. I just made them up
I did stop to think about how many girls have those ideal traits
(it don even matter L bozo LOL)
~♡~
~♤~
My eyes looked at the man infront of me who just told me one of the most important things in the entire world
He likes thighs?
...
...
...
"Do you.. really.." I deadpanned at Isagi
Isagi nodded with a blush "I do-"
"Holy shit youre so damn right Isagi." I put an arm around him and hugged him
'What- dont tell me you also like thighs?...'
'You dont understand.'
"So thats it or theres more?" I knew he had more weird shit up his ass.
"I-I- also like being praised.." Isagi was a whole blushing mess
'HES DEFINETLY GAY.'
"Isagi, are you ga-"
"I like woman!" Isagi blurted out
"Oh.. What kind of woman?" I nodded slowly
"Someone who.. laughs a lot and has a nice smile.." He looked embarassed
'Theres no way hes not gay..'
'Have you seen him with Bachi??'
"Eeh not bad." I nodded and added those down to the long list he mentioned and started calculating
"Youre 2.174% most likely to find your ideal woman." I blinked and turned to Isagi
Isagi just looked at me
"So..."
"(Name)... am I really going to find a girl-"
"Youre a very handsome and good soccer player, you'll find one eventually. Im only using maths here." I pat his back.. I feel bad for him. Maths can be brutal.
Seems like Isagi is going to have a meltdown... whoops.
~♤~
"So... someone gentle and cute.." I was writing it down
Kunigami was rubbing the back of his neck
"That should make it easier.. anything else to add?"
"I like looking at the napes of both woman and men." My pen dropped
'Atleast hes not shameless.'
"So youre looking for a good nape to look at?... I don get it.."
"I just like seeing it." Kunigami was blushing a bit
"I dont judge people's weird fetishes, let me just calculate with all of the info you gave me.." thankfully the number wasnt as soul crushing as the one from Isagi
"Youre 57.452% most likely to find your ideal partner."
Kunigami looked relieved, looks like Isagi's percentage got to him "Not bad."
~♤~
"King, you have pretty solid standards."
I looked down at the notebook, Barou basically wanted a woman that is good at cleaning and would clean with him
"(Name). What's the percentage of finding my ideal woman?" Barou was getting impatient
'Come on hurry it up. I want to laugh already.'
"Hold on, king. Im doing the maths." After a minute I got the percentage
"Youre 3.847% more likely to find your ideal partner." I could hear my other half laughing
"Huuh? I thought it wouldve been more?" He looked confused
"You specifically asked for her to be a clean freak.."
Barou looked disappointed "Oh."
~♤~
"Someone calm and understanding.. can deal with your moody mood.. getting praised for your speed?" I looked down at the note I just took and then turned to Chigiri
"Yeah. I like it when my leg speed gets praised."
"Hmm.. not sure if alot of girls would praise that but it is quite impressive.." Chigiri flushed up
'Omg omg youre praising Chigiri'
'Shut up, not like its the first time I praise someone.'
"Youre 37.826% most likely to find your ideal partner."
"Its not a bad percentage but I dont think woman like very moody boyfriends.."
'He himself can pass off as a woman on her period when hes moody.'
'Youre so fucking lucky he doesnt know about you.'
~♤~
"Okay so you want your girlfriend to be your player 2?" I chuckled as Nagi hummed to confirm it
'Thats a cute way to put it.'
"I assume you also want her to watch animes and read manga with you?"
Nagi hummed again to confirm
"Not bad." I said as I began calculating
"Youre 54.263% most likely to find your ideal woman... thats surprisingly high."
"Oh, it wont be such a hassle to find my ideal partner then.."
A few minutes ago
"Nagi... youre most likely never going to find your ideal partner." I deadpanned, I didnt even need to write down notes nor do any math
"But whyy.. (Name)?" Nagi was pouting
"Nagi... anime girls dont exist."
...
...
"Lets go again? Tell me what you want in your partner."
"Its such a hassle to repeat this process again. :x"
~♤~
"(Name), save your energy. I can get any woman I want." Reo said proudly
"Thats not the point you idiot. Im calulating whats the percentage of you most likely finding your ideal partner." I sigh
"Well then.. I can start by saying that my type is Hisako Manda."
"A mature woman I see.. and it has to be a woman who knows business too, right?"
"Spot on, (Name)." Reo winked at me
"I didnt know you were into older woman." I was now calculating his percentage
Surprisingly it was not a very mental breaking percentage... poor Isagi.
"Youre 27.342% most likely to find your ideal woman."
Reo parted his lips, clearly not expecting that low of a percentage
"Well.. I mean you can go for Hisako Mando.. I dont think and hope shes into underaged boys like you, Reo."
~♤~
"No."
"(Name) pleasee.."
'HAH- DID HE-'
"Absolutely not."
"One chance Meine Liebling.."
'NOO WAY HES BEGGING-'
"Nope."
"Please please I'll do anything to have you as my girlfriend.."
'His ego must be shattered to pieces.'
"Want me to say it in spanish? No."
"(Nameee) what if its someone that is similar to you?"
"In that case.." I did the math for this
"0.0006% to find that clone of mine." I crossed my arms and shook my head at him, that arrogant and cocky attitude of his was back
"Not a 0 percent atleast~" he was smirking now
"Im annoyed with you. Call Ness in immedietly."
"But meine liebling~ I want to spend more time with you~" He still kept that annoying smirk on his face
"Michael Kaiser.. you have three seconds to get the hell out of here."
~♤~
"...Well. He's literally outside right now." My right eye was twitching as I smiled at Ness, any other mention of Kaiser and I wouldve lost it
"Do you think I have a chance with him, (Name)?" Ness turned to me
"Alexis... if I want to be honest." I sigh
"Find someone better."
~♤~
Woohoo finally finished this its now 4am whoopsis
I wrote this extra chapter because I came to a realization that most of us have unrealistic ideals for our partners. Including me of course. I aint shaming no one for having unrealistic ideal traits but we gotta tone it down or we will never be able to find a partner 😭
(Also kinda got that idea from Kunikida from bsd, having a whole book written of ideals for his perfect wife is crazy)
All I have to say is, finding your ideal partner is not entirely impossible, but you should settle in for someone who truly loves you the way you love them♡
Love, Skky♡