You climb up out of the hole in the floor you had first entered with Jessup over a day ago, peeking carefully over the edge. Coral and Mizzen were standing guard at the vent exits in the stands, too distracted to notice as you wave at Reaper, trying to catch his eye.
You had spent the past half hour dragging Jessup toward the exit, you wanted to help, but you couldn't get him up the rocks you stood on now; not with the weakness of hunger leaving your hands shakey and the wound on your leg making it nearly impossible to move much on your own.
"No, no... Come on..." Coryo groans to himself, shaking his head at you as you try and grab your enemy's attention. Clemensia wasn't there, but if she was, he knew she would be laughing. He thought you might have been dead in those vents, especially after watching the other two tributes go in after you. You were alive, but seemingly not for long.
"Reaper." You whisper, your voice almost silent. The air carries his name to him and he turns his head to look at you. He tilts his head, standing and reaching for his blade, but you're not scared. You duck back down quickly before Coral or Mizzen hear his footsteps and look to see where he's going. They wouldn't go after him, not yet, but they were absolutely after you.
You check to make sure he's still coming before climbing back down to where you left Jessup.
The District Eleven boy peers over the edge to make sure this isn't some kind of trap, and you sense his hesitation. "Can you bring him up?" You whisper, kneeling again next to the body of your friend. "I couldn't get him up, but he deserves to be with them. He needs his dignity. Please, Reaper."
His expression softens and he nods solemnly, climbing down. "You can kill me, if you want." You say softly, and he looks at you confused as he hoists the boy up in his arms. "I'll go with you. Just, lay me with him. Please?"
He sighs, shaking his head softly before climbing up with Jessup draped over his shoulder. You follow, limp in every step as you make your way across the floor toward your demise. Head held high.
Coryo is clutching the edge of his desk as he stands over it, shaking his head. He looks back at his cousin, only briefly enough to catch the tears forming in her eyes at what they both know is about to happen.
"Can I... Can I say something first? For them?" You ask, just as Coral and Mizzen realize at the same time that you're out in the open, no longer hiding.
"I'm not going to kill you." Reaper mutters, shaking his head as he pulls the fabric over your friend's body.
You look at him with tears in your eyes, offering a smile. Coryo knew that smile, one of realization and fear. The very same one you had on your face at the reaping. "No..." He shakes his head at you, pleading with you to just run.
You look away from Reaper as Coral is climbing down the wall, clearly intent on getting to you.
"I'm sorry about Dill." You tell him and he's already gripping his weapon tighter, ready to defend himself. You could see in his eyes he didn't want to.
He looks at you, respect being the only descriptor of what's behind his gaze as you kneel before the flag of the country that had so deeply wronged you.
"One summer Sabbath day I strolled among the green mounds of the village burial-place;" You start, closing your eyes in attempted acceptance of what was to come. "Where, pondering how all human love and hate find one sad level..."
What you and your mentor are both expecting doesn't come as the two tributes get closer, and shockingly to him, Reaper steps between them and you, blade held tight. He's armed to defend the eulogy all of those kids deserved which only you could offer.
"And how, soon or late, Wronged and wrongdoer, each with meekened face, and cold hands folded over a still heart," Your voice begins to shake. "Pass the green threshold of our common grave, Whither all footsteps tend, whence none depart, Awed for myself, and pitying my race, our common sorrow, like a mighty wave..."
Coryo is angry when the face of Dr. Gaul interrupts your eulogy on the screen. He would miss your last words, your death. He couldn't even be there in your final moments, and it made him sick. However, it was the respect you deserved. As she talked on about the death of his classmate from the bombing, he hoped the cameras wouldn't show you at all. Just your body covered by the fabric of the flag, a new figure wrinkling the material, occupying the space underneath it next to Jessup.
"I swear to you here and now, before the sun goes down tonight, a rainbow of destruction will engulf our arena. Even if it means there is to be no victor in these games." Dr. Gaul's words finally pique your mentor's interest, memory, and realization coming back to him. He quickly taps through his communicuff, typing rapidly and hitting send before rushing out of the hall. He promised you he would do everything he could. The least he could do for you was stay true to his word.
"Well, those were some lovely last words." Coral laughs bitterly and you just hum.
"They are for you as well, should you see it fit." You tell her, opening your eyes but making no effort to flee, palms resting on the battered and bruised skin of your thighs.
She chuckles, shaking her head. "No, no. The difference between me and all of you is that I'm gonna win."
You watch as Mizzen looks away from his ally, eyes landing on the ground and Reaper clenches his jaw.
"Swept away all my pride, and trembling, I forgave." You finish off the poem, looking back down to the red sheet in front of you.
"What are you even talking about?" Coral asks. "Genuinely, what do you mean? I'm sick of this. I don't understand a thing you say!"
"I forgive you, if you win." You tell her in plainer terms, tilting your head. "I hope you can forgive yourself, that is all."
"No forgiveness needed." She says through gritted teeth, raising her trident as she moves to run at you.
You close your eyes again, tipping your head back and letting out a slow breath to combat the intense beating of your heart.
Again, the pain doesn't come as you hear the clashing of weapons just next to you, and the subtle hum of approaching drones.
Looking up behind you, you see several flying in a row and you duck quickly enough as it flies toward you for it to just miss you. You scramble to get up, ignoring the chaos around you as one by one, the water bottles fly into the other tributes. Reaper was much better at dodging them than the other two were, and you can't help but view it as some kind of justice. If Coryo was sending them in one after another as some kind of distraction, to save you, you were glad Reaper wasn't being harmed in the process.
It must have been Coryo. All of them seem to circle in on you, and as you spin out of the way they take out Mizzen and Coral just enough to buy you time. Their mentors had clearly been less generous; to you, their efforts to evade the flying metal drones were pointless.
The last one is different, coming in moments later than the others as Coral and Mizzen struggle to get back on their feet.
You drop down to let it fly over you, scrambling for the small container that looked like the previous ones that had contained a note. You grab it and run into the debris in the middle of the room, using it to hide while you open the note.
"Get up high. No time. -C"
You look out the side facing the other tributes you just ran from. "How did you let her get away?" Coral spits at her ally, once again uninterested in going after Reaper. "You're useless!"
You shake your head, slowly shuffling over to the other side. Looking across the floor and up to the stands, you think you could make your way up to the rafters. You take a deep breath. You have to run.
You're working up the courage to do it when a loud whirring sound comes from above you. Now's your chance- they won't hear you, so you might buy yourself a few extra yards. You're glad you did when you look back at the large tank being lowered down onto the pile of rubble you were just under, the wind whipping your hair around and in your face.
Coryo must have been warning you about whatever that is, so you run as fast as you can on your injured leg, feeling blood soak through the material again with the exertion. You quickly scale the wall, not looking back again as you quickly climb the stairs to the back of the stands. You stop at the top, adrenaline coursing through your veins with every heartbeat as you reach down to untie the scarf with frantic hands.
You glance down as you do, surveying the arena just as Wovey walks out. "Is it over? Can we go home now?"
"Wovey..." Reaper warns, having taken your spot kneeling next to the bodies that are now exposed from the wind.
"Wovey!" You call to her and she doesn't even turn to look at you. "Wovey, come up here, sweetheart! Quickly!" You try to mask the urgency in your voice, already descending the stairs again to try and get to her. Then you stop yourself when you get to the railing.
What would be the use in helping her now? That was your gut instinct, but if you saved her, you would have no choice but to take your own life if you were left the only two survivors of whatever came out of that tank. Or would you? The you who boarded the train to the Capitol would do it in a heartbeat, but she was someone else now, hardly more than a voice in the back of your mind.
You're still facing this internal battle as the tank shatters, thousands of snakes pouring out over the ground as Coral and Mizzen attempt to follow the same path you did up into the stands. It's too late for Wovey, so you turn to run back up the stairs.
You didn't realize how fast snakes could be. By the time you reached the top, they were already climbing the base of the stairs below you, right behind Coral.
"Y/N! Wait!" She cries out helplessly as you're backed against the wall.
The old you would be mortified at the smile that forms on your face as you watch her stumble, allowing the snakes to reach her. "No... Y/N, please... I'm begging you." You just stare at her, tilting your head and still fighting the smile on your lips. "No... It's not fair. It's not- it's not... I can't have killed them all for nothing."
"The wheel is come full circle." You quote, "Don't you see, Coral? It was always going to be for nothing." You're unsure if she even hears it before she goes limp.
You don't have time to revel in the irony, though, looping the bloodied scarf over the beam above you and hoisting your feet off the ground just in time to avoid the snakes. They climbed the wall, so you don't stop there, swinging your leg over and pulling yourself up, standing on unsteady legs to shuffle across to the next point where you can get higher.
Coryo watches as you climb higher and higher into the remains of the crumbled ceiling, huffing from just having run back into the crowded hall. When would Dr. Gaul call it? You had escaped, and you were clearly the only one left by the time you got so high you couldn't walk in the rafters anymore, having to tie the scarf on both sides of a pipe to build a makeshift hammock for yourself that you just squeeze into enough to sit on.
You can finally catch your breath, gripping onto the bar you're hanging from and resting your head against it.
"She cheated! She shouldn't have even been allowed to bring that in!" Festus cries out, clearly upset by his own tribute losing.
"Wearing clothes is cheating now? If you had it your way they would all be sent in naked, right?" Coryo spits at him, gesturing to the screen and turning to look up at Dr. Gaul in the stands. "Get her out!"
"There's two tributes unaccounted for." She shakes her head.
"Yeah, they're dead by now! You saw the snakes go in there!" He argues, gesturing to the screen. "She's won, Dr. Gaul. Please." She eyes him skeptically.
"Get her out!" Tigris stands, having his back without any hesitation.
Dr. Gaul raises a hand to silence the room as others start to voice their agreement. "Tomorrow morning we will send people in to search for the other two tributes." She states, leaving no room for argument as she steps out.
Coryo huffs, shaking his head and walking over to his cousin. "What do I do?" He asks her quietly as she stands to speak with him.
"I think we just have to wait it out, Coryo..." She answers, reaching up to rub his shoulders. "It's not ideal, but she can survive one more night. No one can hurt her now."
"With all those snakes in there with her? I wouldn't be surprised if those snakes grow legs in the night and climb up there."
"Coryo, they won't." She assures him. "All we can do is wait."
Sitting up there for hours with no signs of help coming has made you feel incredibly lonely. Your mentor can't send you anything, there's no shot you would catch it or even be able to move out of the way. That is, if he was even still watching. The sun had set a while ago, he should have gone to bed by now.
You yawn and rub your eyes, back cramping from holding your weight the way it has for so long. You sigh, gently tapping your forehead on the cold metal bar you're hanging from in a weak attempt to keep yourself awake. If you fall asleep, that could mean your death. You'd come too far, sacrificed too many of your morals to lose now.
You regret what you had said to Coral before she died. You regret not trying harder to save Wovey. You regret setting the salt trap on Treech and Tanner in the vents, though your overtired and malnourished mind is still convincing you it was just table salt. You regret not helping Jessup while you still could have. You wonder if Coriolanus regrets what he did to Bobbin.
You take the compact out of your pocket, slowly and carefully. You turn it over in your hand for a moment, mulling over everything you had done. Even in one day, you had tossed away everything you stood for. You felt like you weren't even yourself anymore.
Coryo yawns as he looks over the book in his hand, rubbing his eyes before returning his gaze back to the screen when he catches your movement in the corner of his eye.
You're opening the compact, staring into it with such intensity that he truly cannot tell what you're thinking. He couldn't see if it was empty or not, but he hadn't seen you touch it until now and the angle at which you were holding it without powder pouring out made him assume that the boys in the vents were not likely dead from snake venom.
Coryo is quickly doubting what is left of the powder he gave you when a tear falls from one eye, steadily sliding over your dirtied skin. No. She wouldn't- not when she's already won, right?
Maybe it's because you hadn't heard from him that you felt so alone. Before he can think over the consequences of possibly knocking you down from the rafters he's sending you more water. Just so you know he's there.
The leftover residue of the salt that was inside the compact was looking like it could help. On what level, you didn't fully understand anymore, but you knew that if you just smelled what was left of it, you would feel better. You would be free of your regrets and would be home in an instant; such a tempting thought was hard to resist.
Coryo couldn't be more pleased that as you began to lift the metal compact toward your face, the drone flew in and missed you just close enough that it knocked the compact out of your hand, throwing it to the floor below you.
You hadn't heard it coming, completely zoned out. You blink a few times, looking around and watching as the drone gets caught in the rafters and falls into the stands, the water bottle shattering in the process.
The crazed, evil look in your mentor's eyes is another thing able to keep you up by this point. It didn't look like the boy you knew at all. It's like your Coryo wasn't even there- it was Coriolanus. But now, he was still with you. The irony of it isn't lost on you, and you find yourself laughing.
Coryo was no longer Coryo, and you were no longer you.
"Coriolanus, can you hear me all the way up here?" You call out, expecting nothing anyway.
No response, but in Heavensbee Hall Coriolanus is taking a breath of relief, having seemingly prevented you from taking your own life. You were so close. He wouldn't lose you now.
"His sword, death's stamp, where it did mark, it took. From face to foot he was a thing of blood, whose every motion was timed with dying cries!" Your laughs quickly devolve into sobs, tears warming the cold skin of your cheeks. You thought you knew him. You thought he cared for you, and that was crushed so quickly that you ran.
The hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he watches, completely unable to help you while you clearly fall apart.
"Do you regret it?" You cry. "Coriolanus? Is that who you are?"
"No..." He mumbles in response.
"I thought..." You sniff. "I thought you were good."
He remembers what Tigris told him that very same night. That he wasn't full of hate like his father. That he could be good. That he is good. He did what he had to do to survive, and his heart physically hurts hearing you say that you saw something different. He remembers what you wrote in your note that he shouldn't have read yet. You believe- believed he was good too. Even just knowing that you changed your mind makes his stomach turn.
You're quiet for a few moments before you continue. "But I can't blame you for what you did..." You say, so quiet that the microphone hardly picks it up at all. "I am no better."
Coryo furrows his brow. You were so much better. He's almost certain that your kindness, your purity is one of the only reasons he feels regret for his actions at all.
"I wish it was me." You cry out. "It should have been me!" You're screaming now, your anger finally eating away at you.
He shakes his head at you, grateful that he is the only one still around.
"What if this cursed hand were thicker than itself with brother's blood? Is there not rain enough in the sweet heavens to wash it white as snow?" You sob out every word, begging the universe to forgive you for what you had done. This night was your karma. Without that compact, it would go on forever. "Please..."
All he can do is return to the book, trying to remember you as you truly are, hardly taking in a word of it as he reels over what to say to you come your freedom in the morning.
The sun is rising, finally, when you look down and see the piles and piles of lifeless snakes. They must not have survived the night. It was too cold.
Hesitantly, you shimmy your way down the bar so you could climb back down, getting close enough to see if they really were all dead. You pick up a piece of broken cement from on top of one of the beams, tossing it down onto the large pile of snakes on the stairs. Almost no movement. As you scan the arena, you don't much slithering. It's quiet. Seems safe enough.
You jump down quietly onto the stairs, finally able to fully stretch out. It felt so good as you walked down even with the wound on your leg, making your way over to where you had seen the compact fall the night before. You take a few minutes to find it under the arena seats, before pocketing it and sliding down the same rubble pile you climbed up last night. That was the longest night of your life. Your eyes were puffy from crying for hours, lips dry from dehydration, and your skin felt clammy from your body trying to keep itself warm all night.
You walk across the ground, stepping carefully over all the dead snakes, turning and waving to the camera, plastering on your smile. You were exhausted. You needed something. Anything.
But nothing would come. You frown, looking around again. You settle just for wandering, once again tying the scarf around your waist. Coryo must hate you for what you said. You shouldn't have been so mean about it, but you were angry- hardly even yourself anymore. Or maybe he was just sleeping. He said he would be with you the whole time, but it would be nice to know that he at least went home to get some rest.
Even when you were angry, when he had taken what you needed from you last night, it was hard to deny how much you still cared for him.
As you walk in circles around the centre of the arena, you're startled by some of the snakes beginning to move. Or maybe they always had been moving, and you just weren't observant enough from being so overtired. They make no effort to attack you, though. Minding their own business even after the fervor at which they hunted everyone last night.
Scanning the large pile of rubble in the middle to see how many snakes were seemingly coming back to life, you tilt your head as your eye catches on something white. A piece of paper, unfolded on the ground next to where the tank used to be. You have to step past dozens of snakes to get there, curiously picking it up. Any living snakes made no effort to bite you as you grabbed it and turned it over in your hand. It was your note, the one you asked Sejanus to give to Coryo before you entered the games.
You look around, unsure how this could have gotten in. Maybe he had dropped it while he was here the other night, but you weren't sure how a single piece of paper could have gone unnoticed that long.
You reread it as you make your way over to where Lamina and Marcus had been, climbing up so you could lay down there while you wait for rescue to come.