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06 - What He Could Lose
U N E D I T E D
"You're making me believe that even
just the thought of you,
never felt so sweet"
— Becca by The Sukis
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Y/n had been a part of Oliver's life, as far as his memory goes.
If Y/n was there, expect Oliver to be within the vicinity as well. They were like peas in a pod, you wouldn't see one without seeing the other. But despite that, Oliver was still able to hide Y/n from his other friends– friends who he thought might have been a threat or more specifically, friends who might take interest on his y/n. That was the reason why despite being his close friends, Ryusei and Sae weren't immediately introduced to the girl.
They knew Oliver had a close friend other than them– they just don't have a name or face to put to the said friend. Even then, the two didn't think much of it before because Oliver was an outgoing person. The type who'd immediately befriend others upon first meeting.
Growing up in the same neighborhood with their parents immediately befriending each other, the two were bound to be friends. Truth be told, their parents are expecting the two to end up together. Especially with Oliver's parents seeing how their son treats and looks at the l/n family's daughter.
The two had always been present at each other's important events, neither missing a single one. May it be Oliver's first tournament or Y/n's school competition, the other had always been there to support, congratulate, and provide comfort at times of loss. It didn't matter how small or grand the event was, as long as the other's involved then it's important. They knew each other like the back of their hands, they knew each other's favorites, dislikes, etc. They knew when to talk, what to say, and when it'd be best to just give the other space.
But you can never really know someone entirely, and preventing Y/n from seeing the not so great aspects of Oliver became easier when they had to go to separate high schools. While he argued about it at first, obviously not wanting to be apart from his favorite person, he came to accept it as well. Especially because of the weird things he'd been feeling lately. He thought that maybe the distance might do him some good– might give him a chance to figure out himself on his own.
He wasn't stupid, he knew people talked. Whispers and questions about his relationship with Y/n. While the latter is better at not noticing things like that, Oliver wasn't, and sometimes it ends up getting him. It ends up getting him to the point that he himself questions the same exact thing. What was it between him and Y/n? No. Does he have feelings towards the girl he grew up with? Had he fallen in love with his childhood best friend?
These were questions that kept him up, wondering and dreaming about confessing to his best friend because who knows, she might feel the same way as him. While he isn't that well versed in love just yet, his only knowledge coming from watching his parents and the other wasn't even a romantic love– his love for soccer, he thought this might be something that he and Y/n could learn along the way.
But he was young, while some would say it's better to try and learn more things when you're younger, for Oliver, Y/n wasn't someone he could risk to just become a learning experience.
And his gossips with Shidou certainly didn't help his fear in confessing.
"I heard Akito and his best friend are no longer friends."
Oliver looked up at the familiar voice of his friend and the mention of the name of one of his teammates. Shidou for some reason, was always updated with the news and happenings around their school. Neither him or Sae knew where the blonde was getting all the stories and info he shares with them during their breaks.
"Why?" Oliver asked, knowing that the redhead couldn't be bothered to gossip with their blonde friend.
"He confessed, Keiko didn't like him so things got awkward between them. So they decided to just end their friendship as well."
Oliver felt his body froze. Akito and Keiko were familiar names, Akito being a senior and a teammate of theirs. Keiko on the other hand was familiar due to her constant presence during their practice, he then later found out that she was actually a neighbor of Akito and the two had been friends ever since they were kids– just like him and Y/n.
Just like him and y/n...
"Dude are you ok? You know, Akito said not to feel bad, it just happens. Some people aren't meant to stay in our lives forever."
Shidou's words however didn't provide him any comfort, it even worsened what he was feeling. He loves Y/n, he concluded that a few days ago. But he can't imagine his future without her and if confessing came with risks like losing years of friendship, then maybe confessing might not be the right decision.
"Oliver?"
If a confession can ruin what he and Y/n already have...
"Sorry Ryu, was just thinking about something." Oliver replied, attempting to chuckle it off.
Then maybe it's best if he doesn't do it.
If the only way he could stay by Y/n's side forever is by being just her best friend then that was fine. At least, he'll still be a constant part of her life, he can congratulate her when she gets into a relationship, give her advice when there's trouble and paradise, and help her pick up the pieces if things somehow ended up broken.
Yeah that was enough...
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Or so he thought.
Seeing Kaiser and the interest he seems to have for Y/n ignited something in him. The feelings he tried so hard to keep hidden was starting to resurface again and it made him realize that maybe younger him was wrong. Maybe remaining just friends will never be enough for him.
He had thought that being her support system was enough. That seeing her go through life and being there when she needs help will be enough. Thinking about it and actually seeing it happen were two incomparable situations. He had thought he could handle it but even with just a small interaction like earlier, he almost lost it. What more when the two actually dates and who knows, get married even, Oliver didn't even want to imagine it.
Just the thought of it made him want to vomit.
He knew that Kaiser was unlike the other guys who he could scare of easily.
Wait. If he was as confident as he thought he was then why was he doing that? No. Why did it even take him so long to realize that the reason why he had been hovering over her shoulders and being so protective all these years was because the feelings he had still lingers. No matter how much he tries to deny and hide it, it will always be there.
Looking back at it now, was he trying to find her presence in the people he decided to date and play around with?
Some say you can never forget your first love and subconsciously or not, you'll always try to find their image in other people.
It felt as if all the years he tried burying his feelings while convincing himself that Y/n was nothing but his best friend were going to waste. The sanctuary he built with what he thought was enough was crumbling down. He was now realizing that it was never enough to begin with.
Its standing had just conveniently never been threatened before.
Oliver couldn't focus, his mind was clouded. He could still somehow ignore it earlier because of practice but now he was just left alone with his thoughts. He didn't even bother to stay behind and talk with his friends. He just left immediately after practice.
The shower he just had and the current silence in his condo didn't help. It made the thoughts in his head even louder. The things he had been trying to deny and to hide were chasing him, its return was sudden and fast. He doesn't think he can outrun it anymore.
And all it took was the introduction of the new member who they were supposed to meet weeks ago.
Years of being in Y/n's side and being a man as well, he could tell when someone has an interest on another. Normally he'd just scare them off but he knew he couldn't do that this time. Not when Y/n herself doesn't seem to mind Kaiser's company– hell the woman probably considers him a friend already.
He could tell Kaiser was confident and annoyingly enough, the man had both the skills and looks to back it up.
He knew it was just a matter of time and ultimately, it will all depend on whether Y/n feels the same way.
Because as much as he knows Y/n, he doesn't know what goes on her mind and he certainly can't control her heart. He doesn't know if Kaiser has a chance or if Y/n was even interested in a relationship right now.
The only thing he knows is that there's a possibility he might lose the Y/n he had grown accustomed to.
Sure, she would still be his best friend but her time, effort, and affection will no longer be mostly for him. The Y/n he got used to, the Y/n he grew up with, and the Y/n he fell inlove with– it will no longer be the same to the Y/n who'll be in a relationship with someone not him. The only thing that wouldn't be different is his role in her life and that left a bitter taste in his mouth.
It's funny when you think about how despite being in a relationship with others himself, his friendship with Y/n never changed. But he knew Y/n wouldn't be like that. He knew the moment she dates someone, boundaries between the two of them would be set. And he was terrible at saying no to the woman– that and maybe out of respect to the guy as well.
Though he could honestly care less about the guy.
He knew if Y/n does get into a relationship, the only thing he can do is to respect it and wait for whatever comes afterward. He wouldn't do things that'll make Y/n's partner jealous of him cause by hurting the person Y/n loves, it also meant hurting the woman he loves. And he had never been strong against her tears.
And that's what scared him the most– possibly losing what they already had and the reaction he'll have once it happens.
At this point, he doesn't even know why he's thinking all of these things. It's not like Kaiser directly stated that he was going to ask Y/n out– hell Y/n herself didn't even explicitly expressed a romantic interest towards the guy yet.
The two are probably in their own homes resting after a tiring day, yet here he was, drowning in his own thoughts about the possibility between two people who are currently unaware of how hard he was thinking about them.
He didn't know if he was just over thinking and reading too much into Kaiser's actions, glances, tone, and body language but he was now sure of one thing.
He doesn't want to see Kaiser and Y/n together.
Actually, no.
He doesn't want to see Y/n with anyone but him.
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Extra:
"What are you looking at Oli?"
Young Oliver looked up at the voice his mother before returning his gaze at what he had been looking at, raising his hand, he pointed at the direction of their neighbor's house. And there Oliver's mother saw a young girl playing by herself.
The woman smiled before crouching down at the level of her son.
"Do you want to introduce yourself to her?"
The woman chuckled as she saw how fast her son's head turned towards her. The boy was practically sparkling with excitement.
"Really? Can I be friends with her?"
"Of course honey. Let's go introduce ourselves to her."
The woman chuckled as her son nods excitedly before standing up and immediately running towards the neighbor's house, successfully startling the girl who was alone. Calling after the boy, she reminded him not to run and to not scare the poor girl who was suddenly approached by a stranger.
Reaching her son, she smiled softly at the young girl before crouching once again at the height of the two kids.
"Hi sweetheart, you're L/n-san's kid right?"
The girl nodded, still shying away from them, understandably so.
"I'm Mrs. Aiku, and this is my son–"
"I can introduce myself mom!"
The woman chuckled at her son's interruption and gave the boy a playful and soft hit on his head.
"Ok ok, i'm sorry."
"Hi! I'm Oliver Aiku, what's your name?"
"I'm Y/n L/n, Aiku-san."
"Just call me Oliver, starting now we're friends!"
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Author's Note:
This is going to be a bit longer and more narration heavy compared to my other story so I hope y'all don't mind.
Also, I wrote this, just a few days after the previous chapter, idk why I'm only posting it now.
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