Escaping from problems had always been your default response when things became too confusing or hard. This coping mechanism had served you well in the past, helping you deal with the challenges at school when the bullying became too much, or when your attempts to seek affection from your mother were repeatedly dismissed. You retreated to things that were straightforward, activities that made sense when you were hurting. So, rather than physically running away, you dove into your studies. It was simpler to deal with than people, and for a while, it provided a distraction, at least during daylight hours when the nights didn't whisper doubts and hurtful words.
You couldn't deny that you sometimes wished you could just switch off your mind or stop feeling altogether, wondering if that might make you more "normal." Your professors appeared to support your intense focus on your work, viewing it as ambition and recognizing your potential. It felt good to be acknowledged and praised for something you excelled at, providing a welcome source of encouragement when the turmoil within made you crumble. Because while their praises made you feel good about yourself it wasn't the same feeling as when Wanda or Natasha made you feel good. You didn't feel any shame afterwards, nor did you find yourself seeking validation from your professors. You simply pursued your passion, which was a stark contrast to how you yearned for Natasha and Wanda's attention. There was something about being in Natasha and Wanda's presence that transformed you in to something needy and clingy, though you couldn't quite understand why. You often felt ashamed and guilty afterward, yet you couldn't deny that you cherished those moments where you let yourself drown in their warmth. It was unlike anything you had experienced before.
You felt bad for avoiding them and Yelena but you couldn't help but want to escape the embarrassment of sharing the details of what happened with James that night. Natasha and Wanda had been so concerned that night and it was no surprise that they wanted answers about how you arrived in a mess at their door, but how could you even begin to explain what had happened. So each time you saw their number or Yelena's lit up on your screen, you grappled with a churning stomach as you repeatedly ignored their calls. You hit rock bottom when you hid behind a corner, watching Yelena approach the library. You knew that running from your problems wasn't a solution, but you felt trapped in this vicious cycle, unsure of how to confront the consequences of your actions.
The days went by, and you found solace in the routine. You would rise before sunrise and head to the labs, not leaving until the area was cloaked in darkness and silence. You hurried back to the dorms, keeping your head low and once home, you would retreat under the covers, escaping from the outside world. However, you had deceived yourself into believing that your avoidance of the problem would remain effective indefinitely.
When you returned to your dorm one evening, it didn't come as a complete surprise to find Yelena leaning against your door. You halted in your tracks as your tired eyes locked onto her form as she pushed herself up from the ground.
"There you are, I've been waiting for what feels like forever," she huffed, brushing off her jeans. Her annoyance was evident when you remained silent. "Is your phone broken or something? I've been calling you for days."
You swallowed hard, searching for a plausible excuse for your behavior, but you had no good explanation and Yelena deserved more than a half-hearted lie.
"I... I-I've had a lot on my mind. I just needed some time to deal with some things," you offered vaguely, not revealing the whole truth but avoiding a direct lie.
Yelena furrowed her brows as you spoke, likely due to your inability to speak clearly when uncomfortable.
"Did something happen, or did I do something?" she scowled while closing the gap between you as you made no move towards your door.
"What? No, of course not.... Look, I'm sorry for avoiding your calls. I've been in a dark place lately, and working on my paper has been really draining," you rushed out, nervously rubbing your arm.
"Okay, anything you want to talk about?"
You gathered yourself and tried to release the tension in your body as Yelena studied you.
"Not really. I'm just really tired and would like to go to bed. But maybe we could meet for lunch tomorrow?" You felt guilty for wanting to be left alone when Yelena was being so concerned and kind.
"How about you come to the house tomorrow? We can order pizza and watch a movie. Nat and Wanda are at some artsy thing, and Dave will be leaving for a weekend trip with his boys. So I'll have the house to myself," Yelena suggested, adding air-quotes when she mentioned Dave's "boys," which made your lips curl into a smile.
"That actually sounds really nice," you said with a relieved smile.
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then," she hugged you tightly, "Promise you'll come." She added before releasing you.
"I promise."
She squeezed your arm with a smile before leaving, and you let out a relieved sigh as you entered your room. You dropped your bag on the floor and collapsed onto the bed, letting out a heavy sigh.
The next evening, you found yourself lying on Yelena's bed, aware of her watching you. She gently nudged you to get your attention, and you turned to face her. Curling up to meet her gaze, she mirrored your position. Neither of you spoke, but the silence was not an uncomfortable one. You needed this - her presence, her attention. It soothed your aching heart.
"Are you sure everything is okay? It feels like you're not really here," she whispered with a hint of concern. Your eyes squeezed shut, her words stirring your anxiety, and your stomach churned unpleasantly.
Yelena's hand moved gently over the sheets until it covered yours. Despite your best efforts, a few tears escaped your eyes, tracing paths down your cheeks, revealing the turmoil of your emotions.
'How can I tell her what happened with James without feeling immature?' you thought. 'What if she brushes it off as me being silly for being hurt and scared about what happened? How can I even try to explain my confusing feelings for her own sister without the fear of losing her?'
"Hey, you know you can tell me anything," Yelena's voice was soft, and you could see the concern in her eyes, making your chest feel like a storm, your heart pounding, and your stomach roiling as your mind raced.
"I-I don't know how to talk with you about it," the words slipped from your lips, trembling and fragile. You quickly continued when you felt Yelena's grip on your hand tighten. "It's not because I don't trust you. It's just that I don't know what's going on with me."
You forced your eyes open, allowing her to see the turmoil written across them.
"Talk to me, please," she begged, her face filled with distress and worry.
"I b-broke it off with James," you said, taking deep breaths in an attempt to gather yourself. It felt safer to share this information rather than delving into the haunting details that occupied your thoughts and James' words that seemed truer with each passing day. "I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just couldn't... I couldn't. It... It didn't work out."
You met Yelena's gaze with a shy glance, and the waves of embarrassment washed over you for being afraid to share what truly happened. You knew your revelation was bleak, and you weren't truly upset about the end of whatever you had with James. But this was easier to share, and you felt like a coward. You swallowed thickly, trying to control your coiling stomach, desperate to regain control over your own body.
"That's okay. If it doesn't feel right, it doesn't," Yelena's voice was hushed, her words more of a statement, and you almost thought she looked proud, which made you feel even worse for everything that happened that night.
With your eyes tightly shut, you simply nodded in response, the turmoil within you twisting and coiling with painful intensity. Every part of you ached – breathing, thinking, existing – and you wished for some respite.
"How did he take it?" Yelena inquired, noticing your hesitation to share more.
"Oh, well, he didn't say much after I told him," you lied, and you could feel your hands growing clammy. "I just left."
"Okay, that's good. I mean, I wouldn't say it's much of a loss, he was an idiot anyway," Yelena reassured you, nudging you with a smirk.
"Yeah, I suppose," you whispered, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm your nerves as you raised your eyes to look at Yelena. "How did you know you liked Dave more than as a friend?"
"Friend?" Yelena snorted with amusement. "I never saw Dave as a friend. No, I knew from the beginning that I was interested. It felt like I was gravitating towards him, like he was the sun, and I'm the earth circling around him in order to survive."
"Oh, yeah, I didn't feel like that around James," you admitted quietly, tracing the beddings with the tip of your finger.
"Trust me," Yelena said, her voice filled with a dreamy expression, "you'll know when you meet that person. Sometimes it's instant, and other times it creeps up on you. But it's when you encounter someone who just feels right, who sees you and only you, even in a room full of people. Someone who makes your heart dance and your nerves sing. Love is like a river: strong, powerful, playful, and it leads you on different paths. But if it's true, it will always guide you home, where you belong." Your heart raced at her words, and you yearned to experience that kind of love.
But your daydreaming was interrupted by Yelena's mischievous smirk and a suggestive chuckle as she opened her mouth again. "But don't think me sappy. I knew for a fact he felt the same. We were like rabbits in the beginning. It was hot, I tell you."
"Too much information," you groaned and shot her a disgusted frown, causing Yelena to burst into laughter.
"Just wait until you get plowed into the next week, and you'll know what I mean," Yelena chuckled, and you playfully pushed her.
"My ears are bleeding," you groaned into the pillow.
"There are plenty of guys out there, so don't you worry," Yelena said, her voice light as she leaned back on the pillows to get comfortable.
"No, thank you. I'm done with dating," you declared with finality, and Yelena chuckled, shooting you a "yeah, right" before you both turned your attention to the movie.
You couldn't stop thinking about what Yelena had said. Worry coursed through your veins because the only people who made you feel anything similar to what Yelena had described were Natasha and Wanda. You swallowed quickly, trying to get your nausea under control. You couldn't help but steal glances at Yelena, wondering how she would react if you told her about your secret feelings. The unwelcoming thought hit you that James might be right, that something was in fact wrong with you.
You didn't realize you had fallen asleep, but when you woke up to the bed moving, you shot up quickly. Yelena grumbled as she got up and moved from the bed to the bathroom. Panic surged through your veins, you weren't supposed to fall asleep there. You were supposed to leave to ensure you wouldn't run into Natasha or Wanda. But those plans were dashed by the rising sun.
You quickly tried to gather your things to leave, but as Yelena returned to the room looking sleepy, your exit was interrupted.
"Where are you off to in such a hurry? It's super early," she grumbled as she shuffled back to the bed and crawled beneath the covers.
"I forgot that I needed to meet up with some people in the library today," you lied quickly, feeling guilty for lying so much to Yelena lately. When you were kids, you had no secrets between each other, and now you were walking down a path you saw no return from, fearing that all your lies would come back to haunt you later.
"Will you stop ignoring my calls now?" Yelena's muffled voice could be heard from underneath the covers, and you thought you could detect a hint of resentment in it, which made you flinch.
"Yes, of course," you answered quickly as you picked up your backpack and moved toward the door. "I'll call you later, okay?" you whispered before opening the door.
"Okay," Yelena yawned, and you could see her making herself comfortable under the blanket before closing the door.
You walked carefully downstairs, trying not to make a sound while your heart pounded in your chest. You felt torn between wanting to see them and wanting nothing more than to get out of there as soon as possible.
The house was empty as you reached the ground floor, and you let out a relieved sigh when no stairs creaked under your weight on the way down.
"Ah, so you are in fact alive little duckling," Natasha's voice floated into the open space. You gasped and turned your head to find her sitting by the dining room table with her laptop.
Her face looked strained, and her lips were set in a frown. Her furrowed brows and tensed jaw were dead giveaways of her mood, and you couldn't help but shrink in her presence. The shame made your skin crawl, and you felt an overwhelming urge to bolt out of there, anything to escape the disappointment and worry written all over Natasha's face.
"Nothing to say?" Natasha said in disappointment coloring her words. "We've all been worried sick. Is your phone broken, or is there another reason you disappeared like this?" She continued when it was clear you wouldn't answer.
You stuttered, unsure of how to handle a disappointed Natasha. You had never seen her displeased with you before, and this was undoubtedly the worst feeling you had ever experienced.
"N-no, I... I'm sorry," you finally managed to force through your lips. You looked at her with wide eyes, wishing the ground would swallow you whole rather than face this situation.
But you knew this might happen. Ever since you started avoiding dealing with everything that happened, you had been digging your own hole. Now, you needed to build your own ladder fast if you wanted to save yourself.
"No?" Natasha raised an eyebrow, and her clenched jaw relaxed, but her eyes remained chilly. Her presence sent shivers down your spine, and you felt sweat running down your back.
"I've not been feeling so good lately, and I've put all my focus into passing my courses, so I had to turn everything else off," you said, flinching at the feeble excuse and the fear of displeasing Natasha further.
"Little duckling," Natasha murmured, her voice growing gentler, despite the chilly demeanor. You lowered your eyes to the floor, unable to hold her gaze any longer.
Unprepared, you gasped as Natasha pulled you into a hug. You hadn't heard her move at all, but within a second or two, you melted into her embrace. She rubbed your back, and you could feel the vibrations from her throat as she spoke quietly against your hair.
"I don't know what's going on with you, little duckling. But something clearly happened to you that night you came to our house, and I can't help but worry. I need you to know that you can tell me anything and that you have nothing to fear from me."
Your heart ached from Natasha's concern. She must have misunderstood your flinch as fear. To hear her voice break and to feel how tenderly she held you in her arms filled you with guilt, like acid burning in your stomach.
"Look at me, sweet girl," Natasha murmured gently, guiding your chin up with her fingers. It felt like you could float away when you saw the softness return to her eyes. "Why don't you come over on Monday evening when Wanda is back and have dinner with us?"
"Where is Wanda?" You asked, trying to avoid answering, and Natasha chuckled at your avoidance.
"We were at an event last night, and she wanted to deliver her work by herself, so she had to fly to L.A."
"Oh, okay," you replied, absentmindedly picking at a strand of Natasha's hair as you selfishly enjoyed the closeness.
"So is that a yes to the invitation?" Natasha gently prodded while gently tickling your side, making you squirm.
"Yes, I'll come by on Monday," you finally managed to answer, and you felt your cheeks heat up when you saw Natasha beaming down at you.
"Excellent. Now off you go, little Duckling. Run to whatever had you in such a hurry," she chuckled softly as she placed her hand on your back, guiding you toward the front door. "Stay safe, and answer next time we call."
You offered her a meek smile and a wave before hoisting your backpack onto your back and heading back to the dorm.
-
-
So there you were on Monday evening, standing in front of their house, ringing that familiar doorbell, waiting. It was a strange mix of emotions – the fear of facing what had transpired that night, coupled with the excitement of having their undivided attention.
"Well, hello there darling, aren't you a sight for sore eyes," Wanda welcomed you warmly as she opened the door. Warmth flooded your chest as you found a kind smile gracing her beautiful face.
You took in her appearance as she stood in the doorway, wearing a white dress shirt tucked inside a pair of wide cream-colored pants down to her bare feet. Your eyes were drawn to her thick silver bracelet on her wrist that glinted in the sunlight to the many rings on her slender fingers, as her graceful hand held the door open. The sight of her made your heart beat wildly within your chest, causing you struggled to gather your thoughts and emotions to offer a greeting in return.
"Hey, Wanda," you finally managed to force out, feeling smaller than you wished when you said it.
Wanda's smile widened as she held her arm out to invite you inside, and you returned the gesture with a grateful smile as you stepped into their house. Even though you had been there only a few days ago, entering their home felt like a warm embrace, a combination of Wanda and Natasha's scents that almost made you sigh.
"I have to admit that I have missed you," Wanda said as she closed the door and walked up to you, stopping just a few paces away. She looked at you intently, her brow furrowing in a manner similar to Natasha's, as she continued in a lower voice, "I have been worried ever since that evening you came here, shivering and clearly in distress. I can't help but feel that you have been avoiding us."
A wave of shame washed over you as you heard the hurt in Wanda's voice, and she came to a halt in front of you, her eyes fixed on you intently.
"A lot happened that night, I needed some time to process it all," you managed to reply, struggling to maintain eye contact with her. You couldn't bear to witness the worry in her eyes, and you swallowed back the tears that threatened to well up. It felt childish, but you yearned for her to hold you in her arms and never let go. You craved the warmth and softness of Wanda, but you knew it wasn't possible.
"Come here, my sweet girl," Wanda said softly almost as if she had heard your thoughts, her hand gently caressing your arm.
Without a moment's hesitation, you walked into her embrace, surrendering to the comfort of her presence. You marveled at your lack of restraint, but it felt so right to do what she asked.
"Look at me," Wanda's command was firm, and your eyes instantly flicked up to meet hers.
You almost wanted to feel embarrassed by how swiftly you obeyed her, but it felt oddly satisfying to do as she wished. Her pleased smile swept away any discomfort, leaving behind a comforting warmth.
"That's my girl," she hummed, and you beamed up at her. She continued with a gentle tone, "Would you like to help me in the kitchen?"
You nodded quickly, and she hummed, clearly pleased by your eagerness, as she guided you towards the kitchen with an arm around your shoulders. As you entered the warm kitchen, you found Natasha dressed in high-waisted pants and a dark blue silk shirt, tucked in smoothly. She was a vision, her red hair shining as it curled against her shoulders.
"Look what I found at our door," Wanda said playfully, guiding you closer to Natasha, who turned her attention toward you with an inviting smile.
"My goodness, what is this lovely little duckling doing in our humble abode," Natasha exclaimed with a smirk as she approached. You almost shivered at the rasp in her voice and couldn't help but squirm in Wanda's hold.
"Very funny, har-har," you mumbled shyly, and Natasha's smile grew wider as she pulled you into her arms with a chuckle.
"I'm glad you came, sweet girl," Natasha spoke softly into your hair, squeezing you closer before letting you go. You smiled bashfully at her, trying to brush off the giddy feeling swirling in your stomach.
"Come here and kiss your wife," Natasha said in a low, sultry tone.
Your eyes shot upward, thinking she was speaking to you. But, of course, she wasn't because you weren't her wife, Wanda was.
Wanda leaned in gracefully, laughing slowly as she patted Natasha's cheek before meeting her lips in a kiss. You couldn't help but watch them, it was truly mesmerizing to see Wanda's beautiful, long, and slender ring-clad fingers splayed across Natasha's cheekbone while their lush lips caressed. You had never seen such a beautiful display of affection, and you swallowed thickly as you watched their lips glide against each other, unable to stop imagining them kissing you in the same way.
You tore your eyes away as they broke the kiss and handed you some vegetables to cut. You watched them in admiration and jealousy as they continued to steal small kisses and caresses while working together in the kitchen. You had never felt such a yearning to experience the same, preferably with them. You cursed yourself for yearning for something forbidden, and your conflicted feelings left you in turmoil.
"Come on, help me set the table," Natasha said, tapping her fingers at your hip before moving over to take out some plates.
With Wanda's guidance, you brought cutlery and glasses into the room, and you and Natasha prepared the table.
"So, Yelena won't be joining us tonight?" You asked as you set down the last fork.
"No, apparently Dave is back from his weekend, and being away from each other for a whole weekend is apparently too long to be apart. Ah, young love and all that," Natasha chuckled, winking at you.
"Yeah, okay," you murmured. You couldn't truly agree because you had never missed James when you were dating, and you never really looked forward to the dates either.
"So you don't feel that way about that boy you're dating?" Natasha asked casually as she straightened the tablecloth.
"No," you answered quietly, flickering your eyes over to Natasha quickly before taking a deep breath, gathering your courage. "I broke it off."
You had tried so hard to sound casual about it, but you didn't know if you could ever master that. It came out small and breathy.
"I see, and what made you do that?" Natasha asked, her eyes locked onto yours.
You squirmed in your place and just shrugged, trying to play it off cool. As you dared to look at Natasha again, you found her looking at you with concern. You quickly averted your eyes, feeling your hands grow clammy, and the urge to run away returned with a vengeance.
"Y/N, look at me," Natasha moved closer, her tone gentle and beckoning.
Same as with Wanda, you obeyed her demand quickly and met her eyes. You tried to keep your cool, but her eyes swam with concern and tenderness.
"Did something happen after that date?" Natasha asked carefully as she hovered near you. She wasn't touching you, but her hand made a small twitch, almost as if she wanted to reach out.
"I-I don't know how to tell you," you answered and quickly continued, seeing alarm written all over Natasha's face. "I'm scared of what you will think of me if I tell you."
"Whatever happened, you can tell me, and I promise there will be no judgment," Natasha said, her concern evident. "It concerns me, though, that whatever happened that night, you'd rather run from it than let us help you. So why not trust me like you did when you were younger?" She continued softly.
"H-he said something was wrong with me," you stuttered out quickly, feeling proud for getting it out but regretting it the moment the words left your lips.
You didn't dare look at Natasha in fear of what you might find.
"My sweet little duckling, there is not a single part of you that is wrong. You are perfect just as you are, and if he can't see that, it's his loss," Natasha said gently as she carefully guided you to a chair.
As you sat down, still avoiding her eyes, she crouched in front of you. You tried so hard to keep the tears at bay, but it hurt, and your eyes were stinging. When you felt Natasha's soft knuckles caress your cheek, the first tear fell.
"It's not true, though. Something is wrong with me," you said thickly, trying to control your voice. "A perfect person can have sex, right? It's what's normal, isn't it? So why didn't it work?" You rambled on, trying to make sense of things when your mind was in turmoil.
"Calm down, my dear," Natasha hushed softly as she grabbed your hands, rubbing soothing circles in the space between your thumb and pointer finger.
You took some deep breaths, trying to control yourself as tears kept falling.
"Were you forced into having sex with James?" Natasha asked carefully, and as your eyes met hers, you could see the tension, like a wild cat ready to lash out to defend its cub.
"No I wanted it over with... I had hoped I would have been able to feel something then, to be normal. I mean everyone speaks of it so casually, it sounded so easy. But I was a fool, a stupid fool for thinking I could be normal for once," you said between sobs. "Oh god, I can't believe I'm telling you all this." You finally exclaimed and made a move to get up in panic.
Natasha caught you quickly before you had a chance to bolt, but in your hurry, you managed to push the chair back, which hit the floor with a loud thud. You could hear Wanda approaching, and your panic rose within you. You struggled against Natasha's hold.
"Hey now, calm down Sweetheart," Natasha pulled you into her embrace, holding you firmly against her body.
Your arms were trapped between Natasha's and your body, and you wiggled in her embrace. You couldn't help but let out a broken sob against her collarbone. You wondered how it was possible to never want to leave her embrace and feel the softness of her bare skin against your cheek while still wanting to run away. Part of you wanted to run and run and run until there was no more earth left to travel, no more humans, and no more feelings. Or you could drown in everything that was her.
"What is going on here?" Wanda's concerned voice cut through the room, and you were startled out of your inner war with your emotions. You felt yourself tremble in Natasha's arms.
You could hear Wanda getting closer, and instead of getting away from Natasha, you now clung to her in a desperate attempt to hide from Wanda and the mess you knew your face must look like.
"Nat, what is going on? Why is she crying?"
"Because I'm getting a clearer picture of why she came here in distress that night," Natasha said carefully as she caressed your hair.
"And?" She implored with concern, and you shivered against Natasha, trying to calm down by taking deep breaths, filling your nostrils with the scent of Natasha.
"Well, it's a sensitive topic, so I think it's better we take this conversation to the living room. Leave the food, we can eat later." Natasha said as she moved you towards the living room, and, as that night, she guided you to the couch and wrapped her arms around you, swaying you gently from side to side.
"You're trembling, darling girl," Wanda broke the silence as she moved around the back of the couch to face you. "What is going on?"
"Y/N, there is no judgment here, but it's clear that you feel embarrassed and scared to tell us what is going on. But I need you to trust me when I say that there will be no judgment from us," Natasha was gentle as she spoke, almost as if she were approaching a frightened deer.
"I already told you," you said quietly, fiddling with the sleeve of your shirt. You glanced over at Natasha, who met your eyes straight on.
"I need you to be brave and tell us exactly what happened. With the information you provided, it's hard for me to get the full picture and I'm afraid I'm jumping to conclusions. I desperately need to be wrong in my assumptions on what transpired that night."
You swallowed down the nausea as the situation overwhelmed you. Part of you wanted to spill it all as Natasha asked you to do, to tell them everything just to please them, to do as they wanted. But the other part was terrified how they would react to your story. Would they think you were immature, silly, or agree with James that something was wrong with you? Even if Natasha had said nothing was wrong with you, she didn't know the whole situation, and you feared what she would think when she knew. You could feel your hands grow clammy as conflicting emotions warred inside, so the feel of Wanda's soft and cool hand on yours felt divine. Your eyes were drawn to her, and the softness in her eyes and the gentle concern made you tear up again.
"What are you afraid of, dear?" Wanda asked gently as she leaned in closer, catching your eyes.
"Everything," you breathed out, and the truth in your words lessened the weight on your chest.
"As Natasha said, you have nothing to fear from us." Wanda looked at you softly as she squeezed your hand gently.
You tried to collect your thoughts and battle with the fear of them simply asking you to leave if you didn't confide in them or kicking you out if they knew the truth. You even knew yourself how ridiculous your thoughts were. So you took a deep breath, and then, like a dam bursting, the words spilled out in a rush.
You felt as if you were floating outside your own body, watching the avalanche demolish everything in its path, just like your words as they flowed from your mouth without conscious thought. You desperately wanted to get it out as quickly as possible, so you missed how your story affected both Wanda and Natasha.
"Darling girl," Wanda whispered when you were done and heaving for breath, her arms providing a secure refuge, and you closed your eyes, burying your face in the crook of her neck. Her comforting presence was like a lifeline in the storm of your emotions.
Wanda's fingers gently stroked your back, and her soothing touch felt like a balm on your wounded heart. "It's okay," she murmured. "You've done something incredibly brave today. You've shared something that hurt you badly, and that takes a great deal of courage."
You took in a shaky breath and mustered the strength to meet Wanda's gaze. "I was so scared you'd think less of me," you admitted, your voice wavering.
Wanda cupped your face in her hands, her thumb wiping away the stray tears that had welled up in your eyes. "Darling," she said, her eyes filled with care and determination. "There is nothing you could ever say or do that would make us think less of you. You are precious to us, just as you are."
You closed your eyes and leaned into her touch, her words soothing the turmoil within.
"Ducky," Natasha's voice called for you softly. Turning your head away from Wanda, you met Natasha's sad, caring eyes. She extended her hand to you, and when you took it, she pulled you into her arms.
Natasha held you tightly, and you were surprised by how deeply she seemed affected on your behalf. The anxiety began to ebb, replaced by the familiar warmth that always enveloped you in Natasha's presence.
Natasha regained your attention, her tone serious. "I need you to listen to me, Y/N. There was nothing wrong with you or your body. From what I was gathering, you clearly didn't want to have sex with James, so it's no surprise your body wasn't cooperating. The person you decide to have sex with in the future should make sure you're aroused, to ensure you won't get hurt. There is no wonder you were in pain, darling girl." She released your face, and you nodded in agreement, unable to find the words to convey the depth of your gratitude for her support. "But you listen to me carefully, what this boy said to you was cruel, and he had no right to lash out at you in that way. Rest assured I will make sure he knows that."
Your eyes widened at what you said, and you shook your head. "No, please don't. Some of the blame is on me, I should have ended it when I knew I didn't like him more than maybe a friend. In the end I gave consent."
"Consent or not, he could have seriously hurt you that night. You said you had to push him off you. He should have stopped and checked in with you when you told him to stop and slow down. Don't defend his actions. He might not have forced you, but he was still in the wrong," Natasha stated, her eyes filled with anger.
Not able to hold back your tears anymore, you hugged her tightly and silently cried against her shoulder. You could feel Wanda next to you, leaning in closer as you calmed down, and she caressed your back softly. You melted against Natasha.
Wanda's voice was smooth as it broke the silence, and you let her words wash over you.
"Hey look at me darling," Wanda said as she brushed some hair from your face and you opened your eyes to meet hers, "there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. What happened with your body was entirely natural. I'm proud of you for listening to your instincts when it was clear you weren't ready," Wanda assured you with tenderness, her fingers caressing your cheek softly.
They let you rest against Natasha until your tears dried, and you relished in the feeling of Wanda caressing your back while Natasha ran her fingers through your hair gently, murmuring to you from time to time and checking in on how you were feeling.
Once you had calmed down, you all moved to the dining room and enjoyed their delicious dinner together. The banter between Natasha and Wanda was heartwarming, and you couldn't help but smile at their interactions. From time to time, Wanda would send you a wink and a beautiful smile, while Natasha playfully let you steal some green beans from her plate.
The topic of James wasn't brought up again, yet their soft gazes and gentle touches spoke volumes of their care. As the night wore on, thoughts of James faded into the background, growing quieter with each passing moment. Laughter filled the room, and your heavy heart began to lighten with each burst of laughter that escaped your lips. You couldn't help but look at them with adoration, yearning for them to love you the way they loved each other.
You relished the moment where you could pretend you were part of their home. You secretly wondered how they would react if they knew your feelings for them. But your energy was drained, so there was no anxiety, no fear. You simply let yourself imagine being loved by them.