Link's POV
Just one night, I keep reminding myself. Just one night with Malice in the same room.
Zelda, Malice, and I are standing in the hallway. Zelda's room on one side and the guest bedroom on the other.
"You'll sleep with two separate blankets," Zelda orders, handing me a folded set of sheets for tonight. She's going over the rules as if it wasn't self-explanatory that Malice and I keep our distance tonight.
"It's past 10 PM and my father will be back home soon," Zelda says. "Once he's back, I will have to keep my door open for the rest of the night. You guys will have to keep yours shut."
Malice and I nod in understanding.
"You'll have to be very quiet so you don't get caught," Zelda says to Malice, who nods again.
"I suppose that's all," Zelda finishes, looking kinda nervous about the whole thing. She looks at me and sighs. "Make sure Malice doesn't make any noise at night. She's still suffering from withdrawal and the cravings get intense at night. If she begs you for drugs, just give her some snacks or some water, and if she's in pain you can give her some pain killers. But only one pill every 8 hours, okay?"
"Cut it out," Malice interrupts Zelda. "I'm not a fucking dog, and he's not my sitter. I can take care of myself."
"Can you though?" Zelda challenges her. "Good dogs don't bite the hand that's feeding them."
"If I'm a dog, then you're a bitch!"
"Bite me," Zelda snaps, and Malice barks back with "Woof".
I don't say anything, I won't get in the middle of their catfight. Or dogfight.
"I think I heard the front door," Zelda whispers, shushing us. "It must be Father."
"Then we better get into our rooms before the old man catches us all in the hallway," Malice says. Her arm hooks around mine and pulls me closer. Zelda's face turns red from jealousy, even more when Malice smirks and winks at me. "Come on Link, time for bed."
Zelda clenches her fists and tenses her jaw. "Just don't get caught," she says annoyed and wishes us a good night before she heads to her room. I feel bad but she knows nothing is going to happen. Malice is just trying to piss her off as usual.
Malice and I head into our room and close the door behind us. Now it's just us.
Malice immediately crosses to the other side of the room to open the window. She leans over the edge, so far that it looks like she's about to take a dive. I'm ready to pull her away from the window in case she leans too far, but she tips back into the room, taking a couple of deep breaths.
"What are you doing? You're gonna get us caught," I whisper.
"How? Don't tell me the Hyrules got spies hiding in the bushes or something."
I just ignore her sarcasm and focus on not getting caught. The first thing I do is turn off the light and lock the door to make sure nobody comes in tonight.
"I'm claustrophobic," Malice protests when she hears the lock click.
"So?"
"So don't lock the door!"
"You want her dad to walk in on us?" I arch an eyebrow.
"No."
"Then the door stays locked," I say.
"Fine, then the window stays open."
"Fine."
I walk into the bathroom to get changed. It's only 10 pm but I'm exhausted and ready for bed. First day of classes, therapy with Deku, and talking to Zelda's dad drained my energy. Even though her dad is disappointed in me, he was pretty understanding and gave some solid advice. I'm glad I opened up to Deku and asked him for advice. If he hadn't told me to wear something more formal for my talk with Zelda's dad, I probably would've worn the plain shirt and blue sweatpants I'm about to wear for bed.
I take off my suit and put on the white T and baggy sweats. I noticed that these are my sweatpants from soccer... Must have accidentally packed them. They got the school's logo on their left leg and the writing "Hyrule Soccer 11", which reminds me of passing by the soccer field earlier today.
It was kinda strange... I felt ashamed that I wasn't training with them, but at the same time I was relieved that there was no pressure for me to perform well.
Can't think about that now. There's really no point.
I splash some cold water in my face and focus on my injuries instead. Once the cuts on my knuckles have healed, there will never be cracks from a fight again. I cleanse them and apply Neosporin, then I leave the bathroom.
Malice is still by the window, just staring into the darkness like she's deep into thought.
I walk over to the bed to pick a side to sleep on. I guess I'll take the side that's closer to the door so she can be near the window. I don't usually sleep with the window open, even though the fresh air and the sound of crickets is pretty nice.
The bed squeaks a little when I sit down on my side. It's a pretty big bed for such a small room. I mean, it's still bigger than you'd expect for a guest bedroom. It's mainly the furniture that makes it feel crowded. The king-sized bed takes up most of the space and there's this big wooden dresser and two nightstands that take up the rest of the space.
The nightstand on her side has a lamp and some books on it, and the nightstand on my side is covered in pill bottles and other medicine stuff. I pick up two of the bottles and read the labels out of curiosity. Methadone and Vicodin. Add Methamphetamine and you've got yourself a party.
I take a look at Malice by the window, wondering if she really needs all of these meds.
"Hey," I interrupt her deep thoughts, "ready to call it a night?"
She keeps her eyes on the empty sky. "It's still early."
"Yeah but there's nothing else for us to do."
"Oh I can come up with plenty of things for us to do," she says and I swear I sense a smirk on her face even though it's dark and she's looking the other way. "Wanna hear some ideas?"
"No thanks."
"I can guarantee you'd like it," she says as she turns her head to look at me. "Hey! When did you change?!"
"Lower your voice," I tell her.
"I can't believe I missed the show!"
"You didn't miss anything," I say calmly. "I changed in the bathroom."
"Damn it, Link. Don't you know I have needs?"
"What you need is rest. Now lay down."
Malice turns away from the window and crawls into bed. I make room for her, drawing an imaginary border between us.
"Your side," I point, "my side."
I turn the light off and get comfortable. She does the same. As soon as I lay down on my back, she starts a conversation with me.
"I liked the suit," she says, adjusting her pillow. "I wish I took a picture of you."
I just ignored her and try to sleep.
"How do you like my outfit?" she asks, and all I can think of is how strange it is to see her in Zelda's things, especially since I've seen Zelda wear the same shirt for bed countless times in the past.
"Don't ignore me," she complains.
"You really wanna know?" I ask.
"Yes. Do you like it?"
"It looks better on Zelda," I answer honestly.
"I agree," she says. I look at her in surprise. "Maybe I should take them off?"
Of course that's where she was going with this.
"Just go to sleep already," I growl.
She sits up, her hands reach for the rim of her shirt, and before I can react, she pulls it over her head, taking it off and tossing it to the ground. Shocked, I look the other way!
"Malice! Put it back on!"
"Why?"
I cover my eyes, waiting for her to stop acting like a child. I can't believe she just took off her top without a second thought. Now she's sitting there in shorts and a bra–Zelda's shorts and bra. And I'm just uncomfortably laying next to her. What's up?
"So what was the occasion?" she asks me. "Why the suit?"
"Put it back on," I say.
"Did you come from some kind of event?"
"Malice–"
"I'll put it back on once you tell me," she says, and so I tell her.
"I wanted to make a good impression on Zelda's dad. Now get dressed."
She giggles, "Wait the suit was for her dad?"
"Yes, what's so funny?"
"That suit made you look kinda hot. Were you trying to woo her dad or something?"
"God no! Looking hot wasn't the goal," I cringe. "Just wanted to show him that I'm serious."
"About what?" She asks.
Still covering my eyes, I tell her again, "The shirt, Malice. You said you'd put it back on."
"I lied."
"What!"
"So, what are you so serious about?"
"My relationship with Zelda," I say, still waiting for her to get dressed.
"Are you?"
"Am I what?"
"Serious about your relationship."
I'm done playing games. I open my eyes and look at her unfazed. "Yes. Now please get dressed and go to sleep."
"How serious are you?" She scoots closer, past the invisible border.
"What are you doing?" I ask moving towards the edge of the bed.
Malice fully moves onto my side and there is no more room for me to avoid her.
"Malice, seriously, what are you doing?" Without a word, she gets on top of me. "Woah, hold on a second–"
"Shh!" Her hand covers my mouth as she positions herself on my hips. "Someone's gonna hear you."
When I try to move, she holds me down, and when I try to push her hips away from my body, she presses down harder, forcing herself on me. The hell is she doing?
I shout into her palm, unable to get a clear word out.
"Someone's in the hallway. Don't get us caught," she says.
I stop fighting her so I can hear if there's any noise coming from the hallway. She's telling the truth, there really are footsteps outside the door, but I can't tell whose. I'm guessing it's Zelda's dad.
When Malice slowly removes her hand from my mouth, I stay quiet and just stare at her, unsure what to do. If I fight her right now, Zelda's dad might hear us.
Shit, Zelda's gonna kill me when she finds out about this! And then she's gonna kill Malice. And then her dad is gonna kill us all over again.
Malice doesn't seem to care about any of that! She lays down on top of me, her body tightly squeezed against mine. She's slowly moving up and down against me, my mind is pacing! Her hand is keeping my chin in place to force eye contact, then she leans in–
"Malice, wait," I gasp quietly.
Her lips are dangerously close to mine. It sends shivers down my spine! I'm worried she'll kiss me and I won't be able to stop her.
Can't let that happen again!
Malice's POV
His breath on my lips, I ask again, "Tell me how serious you are about your relationship."
I can hear the blood pumping through his neck. I can feel his pulse. His heart is racing but the rest of his body is stiff. He's holding his breath too. There is so much electricity between us that it's giving me chills.
"Very serious! Get off of me!" He tells me through his teeth, his tone serious and harsh.
I'm surprised he's only fighting with words. His hands are no longer pushing me away, they are holding me firmly by my hips, keeping me in place, pulling me closer even. Does he want more? I lean closer, making him think that he can have it.
"Get off!" He says and, when I don't listen, he flips us over. Now he's the one on top, pinning me down against the mattress.
His words are saying one thing but his actions speak louder. Is he really gonna go through with this?
We stare at each other for a fleeting moment, then the answer becomes clear. He tries to get up, but I won't let him get away that easily! I have to be sure about his intentions! I have to be sure that there is no part of him that wants to go through with this!
I snake my arms around his back and pull him back on top of me, keeping him pressed against my body. His anger slowly slips through, his fists gripping the sheets next to my head.
"Malice, let go!" he whispers aggressively. Is he really not tempted?
"Are you just scared of getting caught?" I ask amused. "We can do it quietly. I'm good at that."
I let out a little fake moan to convince him. His hand instantly presses against my mouth and the weight of his body falls onto my chest.
"Be quiet!" He orders.
Images of other guys flash before my eyes. Their hands on my mouth, just like Link's. And if their hands are not used to shut me up, then they are choking me, or gripping my wrists to stop me from getting away while their sick desires drive them to do inhumane things.
I can barely breathe with Link's body pressed against me, and I start to question what he's going to do next... He acts as if he wants this to stop, but if he's already decided that he doesn't want sex, why is he still on top of me? Why cover my mouth?
He's so aggressive about it too. Maybe this was a mistake. I wanted to be in charge but now he's the one on top and I have no control over his actions.
I try to read his face. Maybe he's not sure whether he wants to give in to the temptation. A part of him probably wants to do it but another part is telling him that it's wrong. Maybe he stopped fighting me because he's fighting himself now. That must be it; he's not trying to stop me, he's trying to stop himself because he knows we shouldn't be doing this.
Let's see if he can win that inner battle or if he'll go through with it. But first I need to be in control again.
I hook my legs around his back, pulling him in. He doesn't refuse. He's tempted for sure. His hips push against me, he's breathing heavily. He's nervous, and even though I don't let it show, I'm nervous too. I'm scared of how he'll react when I tease him even more.
I slip my hand down his sweatpants.
"Malice!" Link's voice no longer reduced to a whisper.
I push deeper into his boxers, and everything that follows happens all at once and all in the matter of a split second. He cusses out loud, grips my wrist and yanks my hand away, jumps out of bed–the mattress squeaks, the bed frame creaks–a thud, two steps, two knocks, and BAM! Silence.
Link and I are comically frozen, staring at each other in a mixture of shock and amusement. Him being the shocked one and me the amused.
There's that knocking sound coming from the door again. "Everything alright?" The old man asks from the other side. He knocks again. "Link?"
We're still frozen.
Link curses to himself in silence before he answers, "Uh–ehm–yeah!" He stammers, trying really hard to sound unaffected by any of this.
"What is with all that commotion?" The man asks.
"Sorry about that!" Link replies. "I'm going to bed now!"
"Good night then."
"Good night, Dr. Hyrule."
The footsteps fade away and his voice turns to a distant muffle as he speaks to Zelda next door. Thank god he didn't ask Link to open the door. That would've been bad.
Link and I exchange a look of two different meanings. His is saying 'This can never happen again', and mine is saying 'Nothing even happened'. Still, the weight of what almost happened between us hangs awkwardly in the air now and I try to read his expression. He looks furious and flustered, guilty and embarrassed.
He lets out a short sigh before he walks up to me. At first I thought he's coming back for more, but turns out he's just getting close to me so he can yell at me as quietly as possible.
"What the hell, Malice!"
"What?" I shrug complacently.
"What was that?"
"What was what?"
"What were you trying to do?"
I chuckle, "You know exactly what I was trying to do."
His expression is serious. "Were you trying to sleep with me?"
"I mean... You must have felt it," I smirk, deliberately staring between his legs.
"Goddamn it, Malice," he turns his back to me. "You went too far this time!"
"I'll go slower next time."
"Next time? I don't want you near me again, you hear me?"
"Then why'd you say 'wait'?"
Confused, he snarls, "What?"
"You said 'wait' instead of 'stop'. Which indicates that you weren't opposed to it. Just not ready."
"Malice!" He tries so hard to keep his voice down while barely controlling his anger. "It's not gonna happen! Ever! So just drop it already!"
"It's dropped," I nod casually, which probably pisses him off even more. "Are you gonna tell Zelda about this?"
"Should I?" he asks rhetorically. "She's going to kick you out. You know that, right? She already doesn't trust you, and this is exactly why!"
"Yeah but if you're serious about the relationship, you'll tell her, right?"
Those words leave him speechless. Can't he see that I'm just playing with him? He must be pretty dense to think I'd have sex with him while Zelda is literally next door.
"I don't get it," Link says. "Are you testing me? Are you trying to see if I'll cheat on my girlfriend? Did Zelda put you up to this or something?"
"Innocent little Zelly?" I stifle my laughter. "She wouldn't. She trusts you way too much. Way more than she should, apparently."
Butthurt, he grabs a pillow and a blanket and moves to the floor.
"Oh come on," I chuckle quietly. "I'm just messing with you."
He ignores me.
"Link?"
Still ignores me.
"Come back to bed," I say flirtatiously but he doesn't react to it. "Come on, I'm just kidding. I'll stay on my side of the bed, I promise."
No response.
"You don't have to sleep on the floor," I say.
He turns the other way, still ignoring me. Does he really think I'll just let him go to sleep like this?
"If you don't come back to bed, I'll sleep on the floor with you."
"Don't!" He warns annoyed. "Stay away from me."
"I was just kidding! I won't tell Zelda, okay?"
"But I will."
"No, you won't."
"Yes, I will," he says resolute. "I'm not bluffing, Malice. Enjoy your last night at the mansion 'cause Zelda sure as hell won't help you anymore when she finds out."
"Finds out what? Nothing even happened."
"You stripped out of nowhere, then jumped me! And Zelda's gonna know because that's the kind of honest relationship we have."
"Uh-huh," I nod provocatively. "Are you gonna be honest about everything?"
"Yes."
"So you're gonna tell her that you got hard?"
"What?" The annoyance is strong in his tone. "I didn't!"
"You sure?" I tease.
"You're making shit up, stop it."
"If you say so."
"Zelda won't believe you anyways."
"I wasn't planning on telling her. Her insecurities would only get the best of her. She seemed pretty jealous when I grabbed your arm earlier, how do you think she'd feel about me grabbing your—"
"Stop!" He cuts me off. "That didn't happen."
"Keep telling yourself that."
He presses the pillow down on his face, trying really hard to ignore me. I don't know why he's acting like this. He stayed loyal to his girlfriend, even if he let it go a little further than I expected him to. In the end, nothing happened so why's he on the floor?
I move to the edge of the bed to get a closer look at him.
"You okay?" I ask.
No answer.
"What's up? Why are you acting so dramatic?" Shit, bro. He's making this a bigger deal than it has to be. "You act like nobody's ever touched you. You're not a virgin, are you?"
His fingers claw deeper into the pillow pushing it down with more force. I hear a muffled "No," then he removes the pillow from his face and takes a deep breath. "Not that it's any of your goddamn business."
"But then why are you acting so flustered?"
"I'm not flustered," he lies. "I'm annoyed because I don't really feel like sharing a room with you right now!" He huffs. "If it were up to me I'd just sleep in Zelda's room or spend the night at my friend's place, but then you wouldn't have a babysitter. You'd get caught and Zelda would get in huge trouble. As much as I'd love to see you get kicked out by security, I don't want Zelda to get punished. I just can't do that to her."
"But you'd do it to me?"
"Oh, I'd love to do it to you." His tone is angry but his choice of words still makes me laugh out loud, which makes him curse at himself some more and rub his palms against his eyes in frustration.
"You're overreacting," I tell him amused.
I don't see why he's so mad. Maybe he's more pissed at himself for feeling pleasure with someone else, even if it was just for a short moment.
Without making any noise, I slowly sneak out of bed and quietly take my place next to him.
When he finally opens his eyes again and notices me laying next to him, he jolts so hard that he hits his sweet little head on the dresser behind him.
"Oh god, you okay?" I giggle. "Didn't mean to scare you."
"Holy shit, go back to bed!" he yells in a whisper, rubbing the back of his skull. "I'm not playing around!"
"Neither am I," I say honestly.
"You're really starting to piss me off! Stay away from me! I mean it!"
I really made him angry, didn't I? I didn't think he'd take it so seriously. I just wanted to see if he'd give in to the temptation. Whenever I share the room with guys, they usually try to get with me. Even when I don't want to get with them. I needed to see if he was one of them. I needed to know if he'd try to touch me. Now I know he won't. I know I can trust him. I know I am safe with him.
"I'm sorry," I say and I mean it. "I went too far."
But I had to. I just had to know that he wasn't like the other guys. Like that Boar. How many times did I kick and scream, and he didn't listen? How many times did I beg him to stop and it only motivated him to go harder? The pain, the fear, it would be too much for anyone. I'm no superhero, I can't fight someone like him! He's way stronger than me, way bigger. I tried fighting it the first couple of times but he'd only end up hitting me every time I tried to stop it. All I could do was wait for it to be over, and then wait till the next time.
"I'm really sorry, Link."
"Just go away."
He's facing away from me, controlling his breaths and the tone of his voice. Every fiber of his body is fighting to stay calm. I hope he'll be able to control himself. If he snaps... if he loses his temper... would he then be able to do what the others have done?
"I'm scared," I admit.
He doesn't say anything. He doesn't want to talk to me. He doesn't care how I feel. Why would he? I'm just a slut who's trying to make him cheat. Is that really all he sees in me? And can I really blame him for it?
"I won't touch you again," I promise.
"Yeah, you better not."
A moment of silence passes between us. He moves to lay on his back. It's too dark to tell, but I think he's just staring at the ceiling fan now.
It takes him a good minute, but his tone has finally calmed when he asks, "What are you scared of?" Don't get me wrong, he still sounds angry, but there is a hint of empathy in his voice. "Is it the locked door?"
I shake my head.
"Then what?"
"I don't like sleeping in dark rooms with men who are stronger than me."
"You're scared of me?" He asks surprised. I take a moment to think about my answer. Trying to be understanding, he asks hesitantly, "Have other guys hurt you in the past?"
I nod embarrassed, glad that the darkness is hiding my face.
"Other than Ganon?" Link asks and, when I nod once more, adds, "I'm not like that." But that's what they always say. "As long as you stay away from me, I won't have to fight you," he adds. "I'm sorry if I pulled your wrist too hard and hurt you, but you went too far and I acted out of instinct. You can't do that shit, Malice. Don't flirt with me and don't try to touch me. I'm with Zelda, and you know that. I don't want to sleep with you or do anything else sexual with you."
I quietly sigh, curling up next to him on the floor. "I'm so glad," I say relieved.
My words shock him, but he doesn't turn to look at me. If he did, maybe he'd find a smile on my face.
"At least I can lay next to you without fearing the worst."
"So you were testing me? You didn't actually want to do it?"
"I didn't want to sleep with you. Just needed to know whether you could resist the temptation," I explain.
"And what if I couldn't? What if I had said 'screw it' and went along with it? Then what?"
"Then at least I'd be the one to initiate it," I say.
"You'd have sex with me?"
"If that's what you want."
"Why? You just said you didn't want to sleep with me, but you would still do it if I wanted to?"
He is so clueless, it hurts.
"Don't you get it? Whether I want to or not doesn't matter," I mutter in a weak whisper, "If you wanted to, it would happen either way. At least this way, I wouldn't be forced..."
"Forced?"
"Men can't control themselves, Link. And that can lead to really ugly situations. If I'm in charge, at least someone has control over them."
Is it clear to him now? That I only did what I did to be in control of whatever happens to me? To us? To ensure that he wouldn't make that choice without me. To make sure I'm the one on the top, the one holding him down, not the other way around!
This way I at least don't have to fight in vain and beg for mercy. I can be the one to start it and the one to finish it.
In silence, I study Link's profile. His eyes are closed, his expression calm. There is slight tension pushing his eyebrows together. His mind must be disturbed by a million different thoughts.
I wonder what it's like to be a guy, to be strong and in charge. What is it like to be Link?
He may not look like much on the outside, but he's stronger than you'd expect. And he is perhaps the most courageous man I have ever met. If there is anyone who could stand up to the man of my nightmares, it would be Link.
I always thought Ganon was the strongest man to be around, the one nobody would dare to fight, the one who would always win in a fight. But Link proved me wrong when they got into their first fight. Not only is he one of the only people who has ever stood up to Ganon, but he actually won some of the fights, despite the height difference.
Link doesn't look scary, but with the right motivations, he is much stronger than any Boar. And now that I know that he will never use that strength against me, I feel safer with him than I have with anyone else.
Link's eyes open, and in a calm tone, he says, "You're wrong." His head tilts slowly to look at me. A gentle and understanding look meets my eyes. He tells me earnestly, "Men can control themselves."
There is so much weight to his words. I'm shocked. He said it so casually, yet there is sincerity and empathy in his tone. My eyes widen, and I'm left momentarily speechless. Is it possible that Link is telling the truth?
"I don't know what you went through, Malice. I'm sorry that you've had experience with guys who went against your consent. I have no idea what it's like to be you but I know what it's like to be a guy. And trust me, guys can control themselves. Whatever happened in the past... those guys made a conscious choice."
He pauses to collect his thoughts, and somehow his little sigh has a calming effect on me.
"I might be overstepping a line here but just hear me out... You don't have to initiate sex to be in charge of your body. You just need to be with someone who respects your feelings when making decisions that affect you.
"Someone like Karusa?" I ask and he scoffs with a shake of his head.
"No."
I study his face. My stomach flips, and I ask shyly, "Someone like you?" I can't tell if I'm nauseous because his words actually mean something to me or if it's the symptoms of withdrawal kicking in again.
"Not just me," Link replies. "Any good friend should care about your feelings. I don't think Karusa should be one of them. I think you should stay away from him if you want to feel safe."
"Link... Did you just say we're friends?" I tease him to break the awkwardness.
"If anything, I friendzoned you."
"So no sex tonight?" I jokingly pout. He doesn't laugh.
Link turns onto his side, his body now parallel to mine, fully facing me. Through the darkness, I gaze into his eyes, searching for any sign of danger.
"We might be stuck with each other tonight, so you'll have to somehow get over that fear of sleeping with a stronger man, but we could leave the light on so it's at least not so dark."
I discreetly pull the blanket up to my nose, concealing any hint of my reaction to his words
"Would that help?" He asks.
He's truly oblivious, acting as if it was the darkness that really scared me... If only he could understand how much his rejection meant to me. It might sound silly, but it's the truth. The darkness doesn't frighten me, and for the first time, I'm not afraid of the man beside me either. Because I'm certain he won't harm me.
I shake my head, and with a smile that he will never see, I softly answer, "I'll be okay."