three months ago, if you’d have told ishan that sharing rooms with shubman is going to put him in an awkward situation, he’d have laughed at your face.
now, he’s just trying his best to ignore the elephant in the room.
the silence is deafening, with shubman staring at ishan and ishan staring at his weather app.
‘can he at least pretend to be subtle?’ ishan mentally groans.
“i know you’re looking at the weather, put it down.”
ishan is almost relieved at the voice cutting through the painful silence. he looks up, keeping his phone aside.
shubman’s face doesn’t give away any particular expression. he’s been like that since returning from the club, still sitting in his borrowed burberry- wait.
“are you wearing my shirt?”
shubman rolls his eye. “are you revoking my best friend rights?”
so dramatic. ishan sighs. “stop being so pissy. it looks good on you.”
shubman feels a tinge of warmth at the comment. “so she said.”
“it’s mine anyway.”
shubman lets out an amused huff. “who, the shirt or me?”
ishan ignores, saying, “get it dry cleaned for all i care.”
“to erase her touch? is that what you mean?” he’s smiling, the audacity.
ishan gives him a flat look. “im going to slap you.”
shubman shrugs. “not really into that but for you i can-”
ishan stands up, a flush creeping on his nape. “shut up, will you? how much did you drink?”
“i think i’ve had enough with drinking. cannot afford another hook-up ending up in heartbreak.” shubman says.
“you were doing just fine in the club,” ishan scoffs. “keep it up and you’ll get laid, and finally realize what you’ve been missing.”
shubman glares at him. “you weren’t doing bad either. found a new guy pretty soon, huh?”
ishan looks at him, confused. “who?”
shubman recalls the sight with distaste. that man is probably having the best sleep of his life, knowing he held ishan’s attention for the entire evening.
“that shitty perm guy,” he grumbles.
ishan frowns, then realising. “oh, him. he did have a shitty perm- wait, you think he was hitting on me?”
shubman scowls. “what else? you were hitting on him? do you want me to kill myself?”
ishan can’t help but let out a chuckle. “you are too blunt for your own good.”
shubman clicks his tongue. “he’s not even your type.”
“and what’s my type?” ishan asks, amused.
“tall, hot and shubman.”
ishan snorts. “you are tall, i’ll give you that.”
shubman turns to him. “fucking liar. saying you don’t like this-” he signs towards his own body. “shame on you, baby.”
ishan refrains himself from trailing his eyes down shubman’s chest. ‘don’t be a horny asshole,’ he scolds himself.
“whatever,” he says, looking away. “the guy wasn’t hitting on me anyway.”
shubman squints his eyes. “details.”
“god, he was a real estate agent,” ishan says, laughing. he lays down on the bed, signaling shubman to move over.
“in a club?”
“how professional.”
“damn.” shubman adjusts himself beside ishan, scooting closer out of habit. “oh, so he was talking about checking out properties together when he asked if you’re free this weekend.”
“why were you eavesdropping?” ishan feigns a gasp.
when shubman doesn’t respond, ishan rolls his eyes. “idiot, you think i’ll go out with anyone just like that? a man, at that.”
“i thought-”
“well, you thought wrong,” ishan cuts him short. he hesitates, “you’re the only guy i’ve been…intimate with.”
shubman’s eyes widen a little, his traitor heart skipping a beat. “oh. um, okay.”
ishan looks away, and starts counting the patterns on the curtains. ‘that was so irrelevant,’ he mentally groans.
shubman inhales sharply. “you can’t keep doing this to me.”
ishan turns to him. “huh?”
shubman’s intense eyes hold him down. “you can’t reject me and go on to say shit like that. it makes me…happy. i know i shouldn’t be.”
ishan remains still, not quite knowing what to say. “i never said that everything we did meant nothing to me. you just assumed it all by yourself.”
shubman yearns so much, it hurts. he wants, wants and wants. he’s never wanted something so desperately before.
“you’ll make it impossible to move on,” he says, breathing heavily.
ishan mumbles a “sorry.”
“don’t be. i don’t want to move on.”
“don’t be ridiculous,” ishan says, furrowing his brow. “you’re my best friend, i won’t let you hurt yourself like that.”
“i can take it.”
“you don’t have to.”
shubman shifts, turning to face ishan completely. he wants nothing but to wrap his arms around the smaller one’s frame, feel the comfort that only holding him can provide.
“did you like seeing me with that girl back there?” he asks, suddenly.
ishan fiddles his thumbs, averting his eyes. “what’s that got to do with this?”
“just answer me.”
“i wasn’t staring at you two, you know? i was just curious, it doesn’t concern me.”
“ishan.”
“who the fuck cares anyway, shubman?”
shubman grabs him, pulling him closer, their bodies flushing against each other. ishan’s heart thumps against his chest.
“i asked, if you liked seeing me with her? it’s a yes or no question,” he says, clenching his jaw.
ishan holds his breath, feeling shubman’s fingers sinking in his waist. it’s been so long that he forgot the heat of proximity between them and the unwanted excitement it pools in his stomach.
“no.”
a small smirk plays on shubman’s lips. “that’s all i needed to hear.”
ishan starts to protest, “that doesn’t prove anything-”
shubman releases his grasp from ishan, fixing his disheveled shirt. “oh, don’t worry. i’ll prove it to you very well.”
“what do you mean?”
“i’ll move on if that’s what you want me to do.”
ishan stares at him. he adds, “once i know that you truly do not feel anything at all for me.”
“what- i already said-”
“you said. your heart didn’t.”
shubman brings his hand to place on ishan’s chest, right above his heart. it starts beating embarrassingly louder than it already was.
“someone once told me,” shubman says, his dimples showing. “your heart is louder than you right now.”
ishan blushes furiously, but he can’t bring himself to push shubman away. he wishes he could evaporate into the air.
as if on cue, his brain decides to remind him of how it all began. the moment ishan first fell in love with his best friend.
four years ago. when younger him was thrown into a storm of confusing feelings, and resigned to a year of hopeless love seeing an even younger shubman, who had smiled up at him just like this with sparkling eyes and his adorable dimples showing off as he said-
“she said yes, ishu! i finally have a girlfriend!”
ishan closes his eyes, not wanting to look at the face that could destroy the walls he’d spent years building around himself.
he risks one last glance at shubman. he’s smiling. it feels like ages since he’s seen shubman smile.
“do what you want,” ishan mumbles. if he wants to learn it the hard way, so be it.
shubman is relieved to see ishan next to him when he wakes up.
he shifts carefully, not wanting to make any disturbance. a sense of fondness washes over him as he sees the delicate rise and fall of ishan’s chest. a few strands of hair make their way through his fluffy bedhead, framing his face.
shubman’s heart swells with the subtle rhythm of ishan’s breathing, and he can’t resist reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair away. ishan stirs slightly in his sleep at the touch, turning on his side to face shubman.
shubman, after an internal freakout over his cuteness, ends up hugging him tightly which jolts ishan awake.
“what the fuck!” he shrieks. “oh my god, shubi. don’t scare a sleeping person like that! i thought i was getting attacked, fuck.”
shubman snickers as ishan smacks him, trying to get him away. “give me a kiss first,” shubman drawls.
ishan glares at him. “don’t fuck with me in the morning.”
shubman sighs. “another day, another rejection. but we roll.”
ishan rubs his temples, groaning. “you ruined my sleep. god, now i’ll have a sour mood for the rest of the day.”
“be grateful, we have a practice match today. i could have left your ass to sleep in,” shubman says, getting up to stretch.
ishan whines, pulling up the blanket over his head. “get out. you’re such a bad friend.”
“im a better boyfriend, wanna try?”
ishan gets up immediately, shooting shubman an unimpressed expression. flipping him the middle finger, he rushes to the bathroom.
shubman shakes his head, chuckling to himself. it’s embarrassing how affected his mood can be by ishan’s presence but he doesn’t want to wake up to an empty bed ever again.
ishan was right. his mood is spoiled, and he takes it out the balls, hitting them especially hard in the warm-ups.
“i swear to god if you hit it far one more time, im not going to bring it back,” hardik warns, making a run for it.
siraj huffs. “and stop hitting it there, you’re going to disturb them.”
ishan shrugs, glancing at their direction. shubman is smiling at sara, shifting on his feet like a middle schooler talking to his crush for the first time.
well, that pretty much sums up shubman in general.
it’s been a long time since he last saw sara. ishan hasn’t heard him talk about her either (due to obvious reasons). she’s still pretty as ever, standing there like the burst of sunlight she is. a smile almost laces on ishan’s lips as he looks at her contagious laugh. just then, their eyes meet and she waves at him.
that catches ishan off-guard but he waves back, managing a smile. she calls him over which makes shubman turn to see who caught her attention.
ishan begrudgingly walks up to them, feeling a little awkward. “hey, long time no see.”
sara hugs him with a smile. “gosh, look at you! you totally forgot about me, didn’t you?”
“how can i? when someone keeps talking about you all the time,” he says, shooting her a cheeky smile. he ignores the blank stare from shubman.
sara chuckles, her cheeks flushing a tinge of red. “stop, you both forgot about me! you won’t meet me and shubi won’t even text. i miss when you two weren’t so busy and popular.”
ishan grins. “well, isn’t today a perfect day to hang out then?”
sara brightens up. “really? you think you can make time for me?”
hardik yells out ishan’s name, calling him back to practice. “uh, i can’t, sorry,” ishan says sheepishly. “but shubman sure can. he’s been dying to hang out with you, trust me.”
sara playfully smacks his arm, trying to divert the topic.
shubman’s gaze hardens. “ishan-”
“i’ve gotta go, sara. bye, have fun!” he hugs her once more before walking away.
his stomach takes leaps on the way. he doesn’t know why he practically planned a date for shubman on his behalf. moreover, he totally ignored him and talked to sara.
he’s just trying to be a good wingman for his friend, he convinces himself.
besides, they look perfect together. there is no excuse for shubman to not love her. and there is no excuse for ishan to hate her. but a part of him does anyway.
ishan realizes that he’s being the worst friend, to both shubman and sara.
he’s getting his pads off when he’s cornered by shubman.
“what the fuck was that?” asks shubman, sounding mad.
ishan looks around the locker room, making sure no one is around. “what?”
“you know if you’re jealous, you can say so. you don’t have to prove you’re not by sabotaging yourself.”
ishan scoffs. “why would i be jealous? of sara, at that. she’s my friend.”
“she’s my friend too,” shubman says. “she’s just a friend to me, ishan. i hope you know that.”
“yeah, who cares?” ishan shrugs, removing his gloves.
“you clearly do.”
ishan looks up, meeting his eyes. shubman scrunches his face in annoyance.
“who are you to decide that?” ishan grumbles.
“and who are you to decide that i like her?” shubman retorts.
“she likes you. it wouldn’t kill you to like her back.” ishan wishes he’d shut the fuck up. he has lost control of his tongue.
shubman stares at him in disbelief. “oh. okay then, i like you. it wouldn’t kill you to like me back either.”
ishan starts walking away, not knowing how to respond. “that’s different.”
shubman is trying hard to not lash out, but it really is hard when ishan acts like an all-knowing prick. he lurches forward, pushing ishan against the wall.
“look at me,” he whispers angrily.
ishan doesn’t, which leaves shubman with no option but to force him into it by clenching his fingers around his jaw.
“i said. look. at. me.”
ishan’s eyes look up with equal anger. “get the fuck away before i hit you.”
“not until you tell me why you did that,” shubman says firmly.
sucks for him because ishan would rather die. “i hate you,” he seethes.
shubman doesn’t fall for it. he smirks instead, shifting his leg to press down slowly on ishan’s bulged crotch. it elicits a soft gasp from him.
“your body doesn’t seem to comply, darling,” shubman says.
ishan’s glare turns icy with a piercing intensity. “why don’t you fuck a bitch and leave me alone? im done with you.”
shubman tilts his leg slightly south, moving ishan’s thighs apart. a short moan escapes his lips against his will, drawing a smug expression on shubman’s face.
“you want me so bad, it makes you look pathetic,” he whispers before backing away, leaving an embarrassed ishan with his cheeks flushed and eyes heavy.
the door to the locker room opens soon, with virat and rohit entering. “hey, what’s up guys-”
ishan rushes out without greeting them which leaves them a little confused. virat turns to shubman, “did anything happen between you two?”
shubman smiles widely. “a lot.”
—x—
author’s note:
ishan looks so hot in his new post i went a little insane. im obsessed with him in a way that’s concerning to feminism bye.