"Secrets are things we give to others to keep for us."
- Elbert Hubbard
•
"He does it all the time. I can usually fight him off, but sometimes he breaks through when I'm stressed, or unfocused. I'm fine, guys. Stop carrying on," Harry said, brushing his friends off.
"Why didn't you tell us this was happening, mate?" Ron asked, his usually clear brow creased with worry.
Ginny and Hermione were buzzing about Harry, smoothing his hair, feeling his forehead, and trying to convince him to go to the Hospital Wing. Neville was hovering behind Ron, unsure of what to do, but eager to help. Luna was in the background, feeling too many odd emotions.
"It was my burden to bear. Ginny, Hermione, stop. I'm fine."
"We won't. Not until you've gone to the Hospital Wing," Ginny replied snappily, putting her hands on her hips and suddenly reminding them all of Molly Weasley.
"I'm sorry I made you unfocused, Harry," Luna said quietly in the background, unsure if anyone actually heard her.
"Don't start, Luna. It's not your fault," Ginny replied, still staring Harry down. Luna watched Harry squirm under the gaze of the fiery witch. "Honestly, Potter. 'My burden to bear,'" she imitated. "Stop being so self-righteous and ask for help sometimes. That's what we're here for, you prat." With that, Ginny marched off in the direction of the Hospital Wing, assuming that Harry would follow. And after a moment, he did.
The rest of them trailed after, Luna wondering in a distant part of her brain whether Ginny was much like Harry's mum.
Madam Pomfrey was not pleased that he hadn't come to her immediately, though there was nothing she could really do besides make his head stop aching. She bustled about, muttering things like, "Dark wizards in your head and not telling anyone...really, now..." She also insisted Harry remain in the Hospital Wing until all the "proper people" had been notified of the situation and he could be checked over by Aurors, special Healers from St. Mungo's, and who knows who else. Harry groaned at this; he had wanted this to be kept relatively secret. Now the whole Order of the Phoenix would know.
"Well, it is rather important, you know," Hermione told him. "You really shouldn't have kept something like that from the Order."
Harry was still grumpy by the time the Healers and Aurors arrived and Madam Pomfrey shooed the students out.
The five remaining gathered in the Gryffindor common room. Luna looked around interestedly as she'd never been inside before.
"What d'you think'll come of it?" Ron ventured. When no one replied, he went on, "I mean, d'you think You-Know-Who can control him, or - "
"We know what you meant, Ronald," Hermione snapped, clearly stressed.
A gloom fell over the group, and it dawned on Luna that she had forgiven them for their thoughts on her relationship with Tom. She smiled as she realized this. They were the most important people in her life now. To have attempted to remain upset with them would have only torn her apart more. Her emotions at the current moment were doing enough of tearing her apart without any help.
Other students began filtering into the common room after dinner. Nearly all of them were sending curious glances in their direction. Seamus and Dean approached them. "Nice one, Luna! Right across the face! What'd Harry do?" Seamus asked her with a grin.
Luna stared at him. "Are you congratulating me for slapping Harry?"
"Er, yeah," Seamus replied awkwardly. "It was sort of funny."
"Oh?" Luna's eyebrows went up, and she showed signs of genuine interest.
"Harry's just a boy, Seamus, that's all," Hermione interrupted suddenly. "Boys do stupid things." She cast a withering look at Ron.
"Huh." Seamus appeared to know there was more to it than that, but chose not to oppose Hermione and instead wandered off with Dean.
The night wore on with no sign of Harry returning. The common room slowly emptied again as the other Gryffindors went up to their dormitories. Neville's head had long since dropped onto his shoulder and he had begun to snore. Sometime after eleven, Ron and Ginny's eyes began to droop as well, and no matter how hard they tried to stay awake, they too fell asleep. Ron rested his head in Hermione's lap, who gently stroked his hair. Luna was struck by the tenderness of the gesture, in contrast to Hermione's usually bustling and crisp personality. Ginny curled up like a cat in the corner of the sofa and drifted off as well. Only Hermione and Luna remained awake, though one of them would occasionally yawn in the silence.
Finally, well after midnight, Harry reentered the common room flanked by Professors McGonagall and Snape. Hermione prodded Ron to wake him up, and Luna gently shook Ginny and Neville awake. Ron sat up in a hurry, saying quickly, "I didn't! I don't even know that spell!"
"Calm down, Mr. Weasley. We all know your less than impressive aptitude for spells," Snape said icily.
McGonagall intervened before Ron could retort. "After several tests by Healers and Aurors, and I believe an Unspeakable was there as well, Mr. Potter has been deemed safe, at least for the time being. As far as we can judge, this link between He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Harry only allows the Dark Lord to see what Harry is seeing at any given time. He cannot, as of yet, control Mr. Potter."
A collective sigh of relief was issued about the room. "Oh, Harry," Hermione breathed, clearly relieved.
"However, this sort of connection between wizards is unprecedented so we must keep a close eye on Harry. If any of you notice any change in his behavior, any at all, report it to either Professor Snape or myself immediately. Do not ask Harry about it. If he is indeed being controlled, he won't be honest," McGonagall said.
Harry looked extremely disgruntled at the suggestion that he couldn't take care of his own mind.
"But now every time Harry's tired or stressed or in any other way acting a little off we'll have to report it?" Neville said questioningly.
"Indeed, Longbottom, an astute observation for once. This was my qualm with the plan as well. I suggested the Aurors just lock the boy up rather than force me to get to the bottom of his adolescent problems once a week," Professor Snape replied.
"Severus, you know that could never work," McGonagall admonished. "We need him."
"So it seems is the general consensus among the Order," Snape mused quietly, looking equally as annoyed as Harry did.
McGonagall's lips formed a dangerously thin line before turning back to the students. "Please follow those instructions. Do not feel silly about coming to us. Harry may not be entirely pleased with the arrangement, but he does understand the necessity."
Looking at Harry's face, Luna thought that it would appear that Harry certainly did not understand the necessity and would rather have hair full of nargles than go along with the plan.
A general mumbling of, "Yes, Professor," came from the students, and then the two teachers swept out of the portrait hole and left.
As soon as the portrait swung closed behind them, Harry turned to his friends menacingly. "If any of you go to Snape and tell him I'm moody or something I will kill you."
Neville was looking fearful. "But Harry, you saying that could be cause enough for us to go. If you were being controlled by You-Know-Who, he would probably threaten us too."
"That's true, mate," Ron said, looking at Harry scrutinizingly as though Harry would suddenly sprout fangs and reveal himself to be Voldemort.
Harry looked like he was about to implode. "I am not being controlled by Voldemort," he growled through gritted teeth.
"How are we supposed to know though?" Ginny asked. "You-Know-Who would lie about that, obviously."
"This is absurd!" Harry cried. "No matter what I say, you lot will all think I'm being possessed or something!"
Luna finally spoke up. "Why don't we just use a form of the Fidelus Charm to make a password that only we know? That way, even if Tom takes your mind, he won't find the word lying around in there because it would be hidden in your soul instead."
"That's too obvious. Surely You-Know-Who would figure that out and as shown by Pettigrew, someone could always crack - " Hermione began.
"I think it's brilliant," Harry said suddenly. "I trust every one of you."
"Your parents trusted Peter Pettigrew," Hermione argued.
"You aren't Peter Pettigrew, are you? Besides, only the Secret Keeper can tell others what the password is, so I really only have to trust one of you," Harry said playfully. Then he looked thoughtful. "Its powerful magic. And he's not used to exploring hearts, is he?" He was looking at Luna with a fiercely proud glint in his eye, as if she had pleased him immensely by her idea.
Harry had nailed her thinking on the head for once, but Luna felt little joy in solving the problem. She still felt a nagging guilt pulling at her for working against Tom. It was a constant battle with herself; to remind herself that Voldemort was merely a shell of the boy she loved. And even further back in her mind was the thought that if Voldemort saw whatever Harry was seeing...why, Harry was seeing her at the time! Surely that meant that Voldemort had seen her...that Tom had seen her. She shook her head to clear the thought, reminding herself once again that Voldemort did not equal Tom. But no matter how hard she shook her head, these thoughts lingered, nagging at the back of her mind, always on the outskirts of thoughts, for she would not allow herself to think about it directly.
"Who will your Secret Keeper be, though, Harry?" Ginny asked.
Harry studied each of them in turn. After several long moments, he said, "Neville."
All but Neville and Luna looked surprised. Alternatively, Luna nodded understandingly, and Neville squared his shoulders as though he'd known it was coming.
Luna could understand why Harry would choose Neville. Harry trusted each of them, this she knew. But she also knew that, just as Sirius would have been an obvious choice for James and Lily, Ron or Hermione would have been the obvious choice for Harry. And the obvious choice was almost never a wise one in the war they were in. As for Ginny, Harry felt fiercely protective of her, as did Ron. If it were up to the two boys, Ginny would never be involved with their plans in the first place; thus to give her the duty of Secret Keeper was out of the question. And as for herself...Luna suspected that no matter how many times she were to prove her allegiance to Harry, the thought that she had loved a young Lord Voldemort would forever nag at him. Neville, on the other hand, had always risen to the challenge when bravery and strength were needed. His faith and loyalty to Harry had never wavered, and, as judged by his parents, Longbottoms were made of sterner stuff than they appeared.
Ron and Ginny both looked slightly offended by Harry's choice, and Hermione looked thoughtful. Luna suspected that Hermione was working things out in her brain, logically filing away each reason that Luna had already thought of. After a moment, Hermione smiled and nodded at Harry.
"That's a very good choice," she said, turning her smile on Neville.
Ron furrowed his brow. "But...I'm your best mate."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Exactly."
Ron only looked more confused, so Hermione explained it to him and Ginny, though she left out the reason for not choosing Luna, as it was still a touchy subject. Ron looked appeased, but Ginny did not.
"I'm not a child," she said sullenly.
"Yes you are," Ron replied, sounding oddly maternal.
"I'm the same age as Luna, and I'm only a year younger than the rest of you lot," the female Weasley pointed out.
"Ginny, it's not that we think of you as a child. It's just we wouldn't want you to get hurt," Harry said soothingly.
"Oh, but you're alright with tossing Neville out to get hurt?" she stubbornly asked.
"It's different, Gin. You know it is."
"How?" she asked, her eyes glinting dangerously.
"This is Neville's. It just is. Can't you feel that?" Luna asked suddenly.
Ginny opened her mouth to retort, but then snapped it shut again. She considered what Luna said and after a moment sighed and nodded. "I know it is."
With Ginny's acceptance, the group said goodnight to each other, agreeing to track down Professor McGonagall the next day to get her approval of the idea and to set to work on performing the charm. As it was after curfew, Ginny set up a makeshift bed for Luna on one of the couches in the common room so that she wouldn't have to go back to Ravenclaw Tower. Then the Gryffindors filed up their separate staircases to their dormitories and all was silent.
Luna was tired but lay awake for some time. She mulled over the night's events, and no matter how hard she tried, a raven-haired boy with cold, dark eyes kept floating into her mind. After several unsuccessful attempts to push him out, she gave in and carefully pulled out the necklace from beneath her school uniform. The fire in the common room had long since died, leaving the room pitch black but for the twinkling light of the stars coming in from the window. But when she pulled out the red stone, it cast its own dim, red light about it, illuminating her face as she gazed at it, warm and alive in her small palm.