"There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not."
-Francois de La Rouchefoucauld
•
From the way she suddenly tensed to the way she kept her eyes open, it was painfully obvious she had never been kissed before. Her mouth was stiff against his. He held the kiss for a long moment, only pulling back when one of the several students watching made a ridiculous growling noise.
Her eyes were wide, wider than usual, and her soft lips hung slightly apart. She stared at him, but said nothing.
His heart was pounding and he could feel its pulse throughout his body rather than just in his chest.
She finally spoke. "You kissed me."
He looked down at her and met her grey-blue eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted. "What was that for?"
"To get you to shut up," he said coolly.
Another eyewitness shouted, "Go, Tom! Go! Kiss her again!"
Luna ignored the shouter, and, taking Tom's arm, she dragged him outside the castle.
Looking into her face he saw confusion mostly, but also a little bit of something else that he couldn't put his finger on. He allowed her to lead him away from the castle and deep into the forest. For a moment he thought she was taking him to the thestrals again, but instead she stopped by a pair of large rocks in the shelter of the trees. She shoved him down on one of the stones, crossed her arms, and watched him.
After a moment, he said, "Are you really that offended by it?"
"Well, I don't know if offended is the right word. Annoyed, yes. Surprised, very much so. But I don't know about offended."
"It was just a kiss," he said, sneering.
"It was not just a kiss," she replied.
"Yes it was, I didn't put any rock in it or anything," he said innocently.
She wrinkled her nose. "You think you're so clever."
He nodded amiably.
"I don't appreciate you going to such lengths just to get me to shut up," she said, eyeing him.
"How else am I supposed to get you to be quiet? Nothing else I've tried so far has worked that well."
"You wasted my first kiss!"
"I what? Wasted your first kiss? Are you kidding me, Lovegood? It's not a big deal," he said.
"It's a big deal to me, Tom, and you knew it was and you still had to go off and make it a personal vendetta to ruin it for me," she insisted.
He was upset by her accusations. "I did not make it a personal vendetta to ruin your first kiss! You aren't that important!"
"Oh, well that's even better, then! You did it all on a whim!" she said, her voice rising.
He stood up from the boulder and paced back and forth furiously. "Did it ever occur to you that I kissed you because I wanted to?" he snapped.
"Why would you want to kiss me?" she asked.
He stared at her. "Don't be thick, you're a Ravenclaw."
She paused. "If you mean what I think you mean, you're either going through a metamorphoses into a different person or you're just trying to drag out the joke for all it's worth."
"Well, it is a bit of the second," he said maliciously.
"I knew it." She sighed. "Tom, it's really not nice to try and play with my emotions, you know."
He scowled. "So you mean to tell me that you didn't like me kissing you?"
She shrugged. "Not particularly."
"What does that mean?" he asked with wounded pride.
"I mean, I guess I subconsciously always imagined that you were a really great kisser," she said matter-of-factly.
"I am a great kisser," he snapped.
A wicked grin crossed her face and it looked completely unnatural. "Prove it."
A burning feeling spread down to his toes. Did she just say that? Yes, she did, look at the way she's looking at you. Bloody hell, Tom, now she'll be chasing after you. Now you've got Loony Lovegood not only as your damn friend, but now she wants you. Great.
"Are you serious?" he asked, stepping closer to her in spite of himself.
She stepped into him, her face inches from his. Laughter danced behind her eyes. "Nope," she said suddenly, and prodded him in the gut.
He stepped away from her and scowled. "Let's just pretend that didn't happen."
"What didn't happen?"
"Exactly," he replied.
She looked at him quizzically. "No, I mean it. What didn't happen?"
He rolled his eyes.
•
The next day, the teasing began from the other students. Tom managed to quell most of them with a glare, but Luna could not escape it. Everywhere she went, girls either gave her the evil eye or bombarded her with questions, and the boys were suddenly looking at her differently. They all figured if Tom Riddle had kissed her, she must have something going on that they just hadn't noticed yet. Of course, she did, but not in the way they imagined.
The first time Luna allowed herself to be alone with Tom again (or perhaps it was vice versa) was the Friday before Valentine's Day, and the day before the Hogsmeade visit. It was after Arithmancy and the two of them meandered to the library without speaking.
Upon entering the library, they took their seats at their usual table, continuing to ignore one another at all costs. Finally, Luna said, "So what is it now? Are we not friends?"
Tom glanced up at her nonchalantly. "Why do you ask?"
"You don't talk to me anymore. Not really." She never looked away from his face.
He shrugged. "That's your own issue, Lovegood."
"It's Luna," she added without hesitation, "and it is not my issue. You're the one who started it."
"I started it? Really, now, let's not point fingers like five year old children," he said, smiling wickedly and swinging his feet onto the table.
"You kissed me," she said, as though this should explain everything.
"Indeed. Well spotted."
"Thomas, stop. I just want to talk to you," she said.
"Let's talk then," he replied, placing his hands behind his head and shutting his eyes.
"Conversations tend to involve more than one person, Tom."
He peeked at her with one eye. "I'm listening."
She sighed. "Everything seems different now."
"To you, maybe, but that's just because you've never been kissed before."
"So you really meant nothing by that kiss?" she demanded.
He snorted. "Of course not."
"Of course not," she repeated. She then stood and said, "I'm going up to my dorm before dinner. I'll see you later."
He didn't protest, and she didn't expect him to, but he did watch her as she left.
•
Luna drifted up to Ravenclaw tower. Thank goodness he didn't mean anything by it. That would be terrible. I mean, honestly. The Dark Lord having a soft spot for me? Completely ridiculous. Not to mention treacherous and a little terrifying. Thank goodness. And to think for a moment I almost believed he...but no, he didn't. So it's all okay.
Another voice piped up in the back of her head. If it's all okay, why did you tummy drop to your toes when he said it didn't mean anything?
Because I'm going completely barmy, the first voice insisted, and she shook her head vigorously before entering the common room and collapsing on the couch next to Cat and Tristy.
She was only shaken from her thoughts when Cat's voice interrupted, saying, "All right, it's time to spill, Luna. What's going on with you and Tom?"
Luna attempted a smile. "Nothing, Cat, don't be silly."
Cat was about to press her, but Tristy shushed her, having seen the pathetic twitch that Luna thought passed for a smile. Tristy quickly changed the direction of conversation towards classes and managed to keep Cat at bay until it was time for dinner.
On the way out of the common room, Luna took Tristy's hand briefly and squeezed it, sending her a smile, before reverting back to her dreamlike state.
As usual, Luna ate her meal in near silence. She left the Great Hall before any of her friends had finished, and did not notice Tom follow her out.
In the Entrance Hall, she turned at the sound of her name. "Luna!" he called.
She appraised him openly. "Yes, Tom?"
"Come with me," he said, and took her hand without waiting for her reply and began to lead her down to the darkness of the dungeons, where there were no students wandering the halls. Finally he stopped and turned to look at her. "What's the matter with you?" he asked.
She raised her eyebrows slightly. "I beg your pardon?"
"You heard me," he spat. "What's the matter with you? You've been all upset since the library."
"No, I haven't," she lied. "I think you're imagining that."
He glared at her. "I'm not imagining it. You should know better by know than to lie to me."
She shook her head at him and turned to walk away. In a fury, Tom whipped out his wand, pointed at her retreating back, and shouted a stinging hex.
A loud bang and a moment later, Tom was thrown several feet backwards and landed in a crumpled heap as his spell rebounded upon him rather than hitting Luna. Luna turned in surprise to see a very disgruntled, angry, and confused Tom struggling to his feet and dusting himself off. "What the hell did you do to me, Lovegood?" he snarled.
"I didn't do anything to you, all I know is – oh!" She suddenly burst into laughter and doubled up from the force of her mirth.
More annoyed than ever, Tom scowled. "Why are you laughing?"
"You did it to yourself!" she squeaked between giggles. "You swore you'd never hurt me again, remember?"
The realization dawned on Tom, and he roared with rage and furiously punched the stone wall nearest him. Instantly regretting that decision, he cursed loudly and shook his now aching hand violently. "Damn it, Lovegood!" he roared.
Her laughter subsided, and she said, "Serves you right for trying to hex me."
Tom scowled at her some more. Choosing to attack her dignity in an attempt to regain his own, he said, "At least I'm not the one who got all caught up in a kiss that didn't mean a thing."
She had completely stopped smiling now. "Why do you care so much about that kiss if it didn't mean a thing, Tom?"
"Because it's a jolly good time making fun of you for it."
A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "If I didn't know any better, I would say it did mean something and you just don't want to admit it."
"Well, then its good you know better, then, isn't it?" he said, clearly annoyed at the turn this had taken.
Luna watched him carefully, and realized that he had been untruthful when he had said the kiss meant nothing. "Would it be so terrible if I kissed you again, Tom?" she asked suddenly.
He looked at her sharply, smirking. "If you want me so bad," he said, getting closer to her, "all you have to do is say so."
She backed away from him. "I never said I wanted you. That was a purely hypothetical question."
He sneered. "Do you even believe in hypothetical questions?"
She took another step back. "Er, no," she said, feeling angry with herself at what she had gotten herself into. "I don't, but that's not really the point, is it?"
"No, I suppose not," he sniggered.
She felt her back touch the stone wall. His face was inches from hers now. She looked desperately for a way to escape but saw too late that he was too close now.
"There's no need to look like a trapped animal," he said, not bothering to hide the amusement in his voice.
Realizing she indeed was trapped, she sighed. "Well, get it over with, then."
He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Get what over with?"
"Whatever you're going to do, whether it be mock me, or kiss me, or - "
"Kiss you?" he whispered, his eyes glinting wickedly. "Do you really think I'm going to kiss you?"
She shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I don't know, I was just saying...." Her voice trailed off.
He reached up a hand and traced her jaw line with a long, cool finger. "Just saying what?"
"Nothing," she replied, shuddering involuntarily.
•
As Luna struggled with her dilemma, Tom struggled with one of his own. He was trying to keep a calm and nonchalant exterior, and it was obviously working from the way she was quailing beneath him, but inside he was fighting a very large monster that made his heart beat uncomfortably quickly and made it far too difficult to breathe.
He smiled. "Sometimes, you talk too much, Lovegood." She made a strange noise that seemed to be an attempt to reply, and he noticed the way her breath was coming in shorter gasps than usual. Deciding that staying any longer could be disastrous, he winked maliciously at her before turning away and leaving her alone.
He smirked to himself, and tried to ignore the way his knees suddenly felt decidedly like jelly.