That late evening Andrew had barely walked farther away from her home when he came to a stop. Strangely, he couldn't shake off the feeling that he was making a mistake. He worried he wasn't being more assertive and clearer. Maybe she thought he was out to pass the time with her. Andrew thought about their conversation in the car and her earlier attempt to discourage him from liking her any further.
Why would she do that? In fact, all she had to do was ignore him every day and he would understand that she wasn't the least bit interested in him. But she didn't do that. It only meant somehow; he'd won her over. Andrew understood her past might make her hesitant about the future. Yet, he only felt motivated to prove her wrong.
He turned back and began walking towards the building. The gateman opened the gate for him and he hastened his steps up the staircases. Finally, he stood in front of her door. A voice in his head screamed at him, trying to discourage this step that might be suicidal. He wasn't even sure on what to say or do when she was in front of him. Still, he worried that if he backed away now, he might never again get the courage and impulse feeling he felt now.
Andrew wanted to take advantage of it and do something that would leave an even greater impression on her. So, he knocked on the door and waited. His heart raced within his chest and his breathing was faster from running up those flights of stairs. He gulped down hard and shut his eyes for a few seconds, an attempt to calm his nerves. The moment he opened his eyes, she opened the door in front of him.
"Andrew." She called his name, her eyes a little wide with surprise. And even then, she was beautiful.
Wow. It was that moment that Andrew knew what he wanted to do. In fact, he'd desired it for some time now.
"You can slap or hit me afterwards. But right now, I don't think I should postpone doing this any longer." Andrew breached the gap between them as he gently locked his lips with hers. He couldn't think as his whole world crumbled into that moment with her. Yet, there was this pang of fear in his heart that she might push him away and slap him. That would break him and destroy whatever courage he had built up to this moment.
Amazingly, she didn't push him away. Ijeawele couldn't bring herself to do any of that. She knew she had started to love him but she wasn't aware of how deep her love for him was running. Andrew was respectful and gentle with his kiss. It was passionate and yet soft. The type that set her on fire. He didn't attempt to touch her anywhere inappropriate. In fact, all he did was wrap an arm around her waist and cup her face in his other hand. It amazed her how much courtesy this man gave her. He didn't have to. Who knows, if he'd touched her any further, she might have melted to his advances. She feared that and was more than elevated that he didn't cross that line.
Although both were reluctant, Andrew was first to slowly release her from their kiss. Their bodies remained pressed against each other's and Ijeawele struggled to steady eye contact with him. She felt rather shy to do that and Andrew's smile was faint when he read that about her. Finally, he'd gotten the confirmation that she felt more for him than she let on.
Andrew leaned his head closer to hers and softly kissed her on the cheek. "Good night." He said in a low voice. His hot breath fanned against her cheek and sent shivers running down her spine. Ijeawele was dumbfounded. She was unable to find a word to say to him. Her thinking was distorted. He'd done that to her and just like that, he released his hold on her. Andrew flashed another simple smile before he turned away.
For a few seconds, Ijeawele remained standing in the same spot. Eventually, she wrapped her arms around herself as the empty feeling of his absence hit her. She hadn't expected it. Her heart was still exploding from its marathon run and she placed a hand on her chest as if that would calm it down. Soon, her hand was on her lips. Ijeawele ran the tips of her fingers over her lips and each moment plunged her back into the moment Andrew kissed her.
Suddenly, she shut her eyes tightly and withdrew her hand away from her lips. Ijeawele was flabbergasted at how little she was able to take charge of her feelings. The moment she opened her eyes, she hurried out the door in an attempt to get a last glimpse of him. But he was gone. Deep in disappointment, Ijeawele walked back into her apartment and gently closed the door. She slumped on her couch and spent the next few minutes spaced out. As much as this new feeling brought some excitement, it also dug up her very real doubts and fear. She could see and feel that Andrew was different from her ex, still, it was hard for her entire being to process, accept and give into that understanding. There lies the problem.
While Andrew took a shower later that night, the event replayed in his head repeatedly and his smile grew wider each time. At intervals, he chuckled in disbelief that he was able to do that. Well, Andrew was the type to never step outside the rules of appropriateness. It might not look like it but that step was the wildest thing he'd ever done in his life.
Ijeawele turned several times on her bed. Finally, she sat up and sighed louder than normal. It was hard for her to sleep. Whenever she closed her eyes, it was like she was kissing Andrew all over again. That set her heart racing and hence laid her restlessness. Ijeawele got off the bed, switched on the light and began pacing around her room. When nothing changed, she went out to the living room to switch on the television.
She didn't want to think about what she would do when they meet at work tomorrow. How was she going to handle their situation from tomorrow onwards? The thought of diving into another relationship gave her the jitters and yet, the thought of doing that with Andrew filled her with mixed emotion. As badly as she feared it, she desired it. Ijeawele shook her head to ward off the thoughts. She laid on the sofa and tried to focus all her attention on the movie she was watching.
The next day, Ijeawele found herself actively trying to not run into Andrew. She hadn't made up her mind on what to do next, so, until then, her plan was to avoid contact with him. Earlier than usual, she came into work and was stuck in her office most of the time. When her colleague, Radha suggested lunch, she had politely declined. Ijeawele was aware how pathetic her actions might be. Still, this was the only solution she could stick with for now.
Ijeawele had earlier forgotten her meeting with the marketing team. It meant she was going to see Andrew after all. Panic filled her momentarily. It meant all her effort all day to avoid him was futile. She sucked in a deep breath and decided to be professional. Ijeawele stepped into one of the smaller boardrooms and to her surprise, Andrew was the only one already in the room. A quick contemplation went on in her head about making a straight U-turn right out of the room. Instead, she decided to pretend like she wasn't the least bit affected. Then went ahead to leave her laptop and phone on the table before sitting at the very head.
Andrew was standing in front. He'd come in earlier in order to prep the screen ready for the meeting. All day, he hadn't seen her. Rather than upset that she was clearly avoiding him, he felt amused. In fact, he expected that from her. Through a series of old patterns, he'd come to understand Ijeawele a bit more. He could predict her possible actions depending on whatever he does. It was amusingly cute.
Andrew hid a smile when he turned away from her while rounding up what he was doing. Then he walked to his seat which was the first seat on Ijeawele's left. Ijeawele burrowed her gaze onto the screen of her laptop but in her head, she was screaming at the fact that she hadn't realised his stuff was displayed in front of the seat next to hers. Andrew, now seated, watched her for sometime and could see how hard she was trying to keep her cool. He didn't like the fact that she was feeling very uncomfortable around him. It wasn't his intention to put her in such a spot. More than anything, Andrew wished she would be herself around him and maybe even smile at him.
He gathered his notepad, pen and picked up his laptop. Then he was on his feet. Andrew walked up to the last seat on the left row and there he settled. Ijeawele had lifted her eyes from her laptop and watched him make himself comfortable on another seat. Softly, she bit her lower lip. A wave of guilt took over her as she realised he'd moved because of her. She wondered if she'd presented herself too uncomfortable. Yes, she did feel that way and yet, she also didn't want him to think she hated his presence or anything of a sort. She wondered if she should say something. Before she could do that, the others trooped in and soon they started the meeting.
Nearly an hour later, they were done and everyone trooped out in the same order they came in. Andrew stayed behind to disconnect the screen he'd set up. Ijeawele was about to walk out. Suddenly, she stopped and left the door closed. Throughout the meeting, it bothered her and she was unable to stop herself from stealing glances at him. She knew she would need to say something to erase this strange guilt she felt.
"Andrew." Ijeawele called after she walked up to him.
He stopped what he was doing and raised his eyes to her.
Ijeawele had a sense of what she needed to say. Regardless, she found it hard to pass that across. Not once had she ever classified herself as the shy type. Whenever she needed to say something, she always stood firm if need be and passed the message across. And now, with Andrew, she was finding that difficult to do.
"Last night..." Ijeawele started, her gaze faltering between meeting Andrew's gaze and the view anywhere else but him. "... you kissed me and that... you took me by surprise." She watched him for a straight two seconds to see if there was a reaction. There was nothing particular and therefore, she continued.
"I feel like you have an expectation and..." Ijeawele lightly cleared her throat. "... you might be disappointed or feel hurt that I'm not meeting your expectations."
For a second, there was a light frown between Andrew's brows. He walked closer to her and stretched out a hand. She looked from his hand and back to him.
"Can I have your phone?" He asked. Ijeawele felt the need to ask why. She didn't do that. Instead, she handed it over to him.
"Please, unlock it." He told her once he realised it was locked. She placed her thumb on the screen and it unlocked.
Andrew went straight for the call log and typed in a phone number. He pressed the dial button and his phone on the table rang. Then he disconnected the dialling on Ijeawele's phone.
"It's heartbreaking that whenever I miss you, I can't reach you." His lips curled up into a smile while he handed her phone back to her. Ijeawele looked from the phone in her hand and back to him. His words were a surprise for her. Like the night before, she felt too dumbfounded.
"Please save my number." Andrew politely told her. Ijeawele didn't have it in her to reject his words. So, she gave a light nod.
"I kissed you because I've always secretly wanted to do it since the first day I saw you." Andrew suddenly mentioned without faltering his gaze on her. He thought it was best to be as clear as possible to avoid any misunderstanding on her part. Ijeawele on the other hand didn't expect him to be candid and bold about his feelings. She used to think it was best to pretend like she didn't care for him and maybe, the feelings will go away. But with each passing time that he's sweet on her, she could feel herself falling further in love with him.
What is she going to do?
"If you're very uncomfortable and not ready, we don't have to put a name on whatever is going on between us. I just... Can we get to know each other more?"
This time, Ijeawele was able to steady her gaze on him. While she could feel the slight excitement in the glimmer of hope for her future, she could still feel the fear trying to consume her from within. Her life wasn't as simple as black or white. Ijeawele feared she might drown him along with her.
"I'm a divorcee." Her voice was low and with a hint of weakness.
"I don't care." Andrew told her.
He has always been aware that she was married before and the thought of a second chance might scare her. Yet, he never let it be the reason that he would try to curb his growing attachment for her. He didn't care and he meant every word of it. Ijeawele was a beautiful woman with her own name and accomplishments. She has her charms and attributes that make her different. He could see that and that was why he loved her.
"It's okay. You don't have to answer me right now... I'll wait." Andrew explained, seeing as she was hesitant to mention a yes or no. Because for her, they weren't just simple words. They meant more.
Happy new year guys! Thank you for being with me into another year. I hit a creative wall and missed the usual time of updating. Sincerely sorry to those that have been waiting. Pls vote or comment. Your feedback is always appreciated.