Celine
Riley and I have French next. We walk together, then sit down. But neither of us are in the mood to do work, so we don't even open our books.
The teacher notices and assigns everyone a task before walking over. "Is there a problem, girls?"
"No." Riley says.
"Then why aren't your books open?" She asks.
"Because this class is so useless. I'm never going to France." Riley replies.
"You might." The teacher counters. "And whether you go to France or not, you picked this class. So participate. Get your books open."
I sigh heavily and open my book. Riley does too, however we don't do any work that lesson. When the bell rings, we leave as fast as we can and split up in the religious education department. She's in a higher set than I am, so we're in different classes.
I walk to the teachers desk. She's an old woman with grey hair and an impatient look on her wrinkled face.
She reminds me of my grandmother, on my dad's side. Although I suppose both my grandmas look like her.
"I'm new." I mumble. "Where do I sit?"
She sighs heavily. "Go sit at the back."
I turn around and walk to the back of the class. I sit down on an empty double desk, and I'm thankful that no one's sitting next to me when someone drops into the seat.
I turn. A boy with black hair is sitting beside me. He has a guarded look on his face as he glances at me, showing me his deep green eyes. They narrow into a glare. "What?"
I glare back. "What?"
"Stop staring at me."
"Calm down. I barely looked at you."
"Mhm." He mumbles. He sighs and leans back in his seat, and my head begins to ache suddenly. I close my eyes and hold onto my temple, wincing from the pain. "What's wrong with you?"
"What's wrong with you?" I respond. I grab my bag and stand. I walk over to the door, and when I glance at him I see that he's looking at me. People are still coming in, so no one really notices when I leave. Except for him. He'd probably snitch, the little weasel.
I go into the toilets and call my dad. He answers almost immediately. "Are you okay?" He asks.
"My head hurts. I want to come home."
"Go to the nurse, baby. Camilo dropped some stuff off for you there earlier." He tells me. "If it doesn't get better I'll come pick you up."
"Can't you just come get me now?" I ask.
"Try and stay the whole day, alright?" He says. "We can go out to eat after I pick you and your brothers up, before we go to the doctors."
I frown. "I thought that was tomorrow."
"It got moved up." He tells me. "Message me if you still don't feel well after you go to the nurse, okay?"
I sigh. "Okay." Then I end the call and leave the toilets. I go to the nurses office and give my name in. She tells me to wait for a few minutes because someone else is in her room. I sit down, leaning my head back on the wall. I close my eyes, holding onto my forehead.
She calls me in after what feels like hours. "My dad said you have stuff for my headaches."
"Oh, right." She says. She goes into the small freezer beside a counter and pulls one of my cold caps out. She passes it to me. "You can sit outside and keep it on for however long you want."
"Thanks." I mumble. I walk out and go to a more concealed sitting area before turning to the window and putting it over my head. I lean my head on a small table in front of me and close my eyes, satisfied with the temporary relief my cold cap brings.
A few minutes go by before I hear my name. I look up and pull the cold cap up a bit. The guy who sat next to me in Religion is a few feet away.
"What are you doing down here?" I ask.
"Miss told me to come find you." He responds. "What's on your head?"
"None of your business. Just go back to class."
"Nah. It's boring." He sits on the chair across from me and pulls his phone out from his pocket. "Why do you have that on your head?"
"I have a headache." I whisper.
He frowns. "Normally they just give us a paracetamol. How'd you get them to give you that?"
I shrug, curling my arms around my stomach. Riley is the only one who knows. I asked her not to tell anybody, and she promised she wouldn't.
•
I take the cap off at lunch and go to meet Riley. She's sitting at the same lunch table she was on on my first day, and tells someone to move so I can sit beside her.
"Hey, Celine." She says.
"Hi." I reply. I put my lunch box on the table and remind her she can have whatever she wants. She takes a chocolate bar.
I look around the lunch hall, my gaze meeting Léo's. I turn back to Riley when she says my name. "Celine. Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm gonna go to the toilet." I say. I stand and walk to the girls toilets. I go on my phone, finding a message from my dad.
DAD: Feel any better?
ME: Ya.
DAD: Good. I'll see you after your brothers' game.
ME: K.
I put my phone away and use the toilet before leaving and washing my hands. I walk back to the lunch hall, finding the boy from Religion sitting in my seat next beside Riley. He was told to go to class when the nurse realised nothing was wrong with him. I didn't say anything to him, only listened. I think the only reason he was there was because he wanted to skip the lesson.
I come up behind him. "Move."
He looks at me. "No."
"I was here first."
"And now I am." He replies. He smiles.
I smile back before squeezing into the spot between him and Riley. He rolls his eyes.
"You should've just moved, Will." Riley tells him.
I laugh. "Your name is Will? Like willy?"
He glares at me. "No."
Riley giggles. "Okay, willy."
I giggle too. He ignores us and turns to the people beside him. For the rest of lunch, Riley and I talk, until we have to go to our lessons again.
I get through Science easily. Finally I have Maths, and it goes very steadily and I even think I do well until the teacher tells me to stay behind at the end of the lesson.
I furrow my eyebrows and stay in my seat. Léo is going to be here soon, because he said he was going to meet me after the lesson ended.
"Celine." She begins, a small smile on her face. "I want to move you up to the top set. You're very good at maths."
I furrow my eyebrows. I'm very good?
"Would that be okay?" She asks me.
I nod.
"All right, great. I'll let you get home now."
I smile and stand, grabbing my bag and putting it on before walking out of the classroom.
Léo waits for me by a table in the middle of the department. He smiles at me. "Hey. You okay?"
I nod. I debate whether or not to tell him about what my maths teacher said but decide against it. What if she decides not to and I look stupid?
"Alright, let's go." He says. He leads me down the stairs to the ground floor of the school, then to the sports department. "Do you want to go sit down?"
I nod again.
"Okay. The seats are outside."
"Okay." I mumble. I walk outside and sit on the bleachers, near the top.
•
Two hours later our dad picks us up. Camilo and Léo are on a high, since their team won. All I can focus on is the fact that in an hour and a half I'll be having my first chemotherapy treatment.
Léo chooses where we go: a large restaurant called Xander's. We get out of the car and my dad walks beside me. "You okay, baby?"
I nod as I wrap my arms around myself. We walk inside, and a young blonde woman greets us with a smile. "Hi! I'm Louise, I'll be your server tonight." She says, "is it just the four of you?"
"Yeah." My dad says.
"Okay! Follow me, please." She says. She takes us to a table for four in the back. I sit next to my dad while Camilo and Léo sit together, the latter across from me.
"What do you want to get, sweetheart?" My dad asks softly.
I shrug. "I'm not that hungry."
"You'll need to eat before your appointment." He reminds me.
I sigh quietly. I pick something off the menu and lean back in my seat, pulling my phone from my pocket.
"Do you want to go home and get changed before you go to your appointment?" My dad asks quietly.
I nod. I don't want to sit in a chair for ages in my school uniform.
"There's this thing called scalp hypothermia they sent me something about. It helps to stop your hair from falling out—"
"My hair's gonna to fall out?" I exclaim in a panic.
His eyes widen. "This will help, baby."
My eyes water. "My hair's gonna fall out." I repeat.
"This will try make it so it doesn't." He tells me. "The doctors can explain it better than me."
I look away, turning to glance at the wall behind Léo. Instead, I catch his eye. He smiles sadly at me. "It's worth having a go in case it works."
"I think it's a bit like your headache caps at home." My dad follows up. "If you don't want to do it after your first try, you don't have to."
"What do you mean first try? I thought it was only once."
His eyes fill with regret. "It'll be two or three times a week." He tells me. "I thought you knew, sweetheart. I'm sorry."
"How was I supposed to know? No one told me."
"Celine—"
"I'm going to the toilet." I stand and quickly walk in the direction of the bathrooms. I close myself inside a stall and sit down on the toilet lid, putting my head in my hands and letting out a sob.
I don't want to do chemotherapy. I don't want to go twice a week. I don't want any of this to be happening. I just want to go figure skating and I want everything to be fine again.
My phone dings with a notification. I sniffle and get it out my pocket.
LÉO: Are you okay?
ME: Ya. Just neid a pis.
LÉO: Okay. Dad ordered for you.
ME: Ok.
I compose myself, make sure there's no evidence I was crying by washing my face with water from the tap, then leave the bathroom. I walk back to the table, finding a glass of coke in my place. I pop a straw in and begin drinking it wordlessly.
My dad smiles at me. "Are you alright?"
I nod. "Thanks for the coke." I whisper.
"That's okay." He sets a hand on my shoulder and rubs it in small circles.
I lean my head on the back of the chair and curl my arms around myself. When our food comes, I only eat half of it, despite the urging from my dad to eat some more.
"Do you want some dessert?" He asks me.
I shake my head. "I'm full."
"Okay." He whispers. Camilo and Léo don't want any dessert either, so we leave. We get into the car and drive home. When we get back out, my dad says: "go get changed into something comfy and make sure your phone is charged."
I nod and go up to my room.