So I thought... what if Will had a panic attack?
Panic attacks, suicidal thoughts
Will's eyes fluttered open. There was darkness all around him. His heart rate quickened and his breathing sped up. Will shot upright looked around and sighed.
"I'm not in Tartarus. I'm just in Nico's cabin. I'm not in Tartarus. I'm not in Tartarus." He took deep breaths to try to calm himself down. It wasn't working, though. His heart was still going a mile a minute and his breathing was shaky. He looked at Nico, peacefully asleep on the other side of the bed. Will longed to be asleep right now. His chest was hurting, but not a real pain, more like a dull, achy feeling that unsettled him. His hands were shaking, and he couldn't focus on doing anything. His eyes kept fixating and going blurry. It was like his brain was turned off. Was his nervous system shutting down? Was he dying? He went through his symptoms:
⁃ Fast heart rate
⁃ Shortness of breath
⁃ Shaking
⁃ Chest pains
⁃ Unable to focus
There was one reasonable answer: he was having a panic attack. Nico had described one to him before, and it seemed like it matched up. He shook Nico awake.
"Nico. Nico. Nico!"
"Gah! Whoza...What..hm?" Nico was dazed and confused.
"Nico, I think I'm having a panic attack."
"A...a what?"
"A panic attack."
"Um..uh well, okay. Here come here, sit down." Nico gestured to the spot on the bed next to him. Will sat, hugging his knees to his chest. "What are you feeling?"
Will started explaining his symptoms until Nico stopped him. "Will, listen. What are you feeling?"
Will didn't know how to explain it. "I...don't feel good enough. I've killed so many people. I could've saved them. I'm a horrible person. I don't deserve love. I..." Will's voice broke. More thoughts like this filled his head. Why should he be alive? He should just kill himself. He didn't deserve to live. Nico didn't really love him.
Hot tears slowly rolled his face, as he sat there with a shocked look on his face. He cried harder into his knees. Loud sobs escaped his mouth, and his body shook. Nico pulled him into his arms. Will released his knees, and instead wrapped his arms around Nico's waist. He sobbed into Nico's shirt, letting go of all the pain and exhaustion from the past month.
Nico stroked his hair and shushed him. Will shook and cried, causing Nico to start crying too. He hated seeing Will this upset. He could've done more to help him. If he had been there at the start of the panic attack, he could've stopped it before it came to this. Nico didn't cry out loud, but silent tears made a steady waterfall down his face.
Will's sobs slowed and he let go of Nico. He sat up and wiped his face, sniffling. Nico handed him a box of tissues, which he gratefully took, ending up to use almost half the box. Nico caressed the side of his face.
"Are you alright amore mio?" he asked gently. Will nodded gingerly. He seemed to notice that Nico had tears down his cheeks as well. He wiped them, concerned.
"What's wrong, darling?" His eyebrows knit together in that cute way they did when he was worried. Nico laughed.
"I guess you're back," he said. "And Will? Don't listen to anything you're brain was telling you. You deserve life. You haven't killed, you've saved. And no matter what, I love you. And I always will and always have."
Nico's voice was unsteady, and cracked. Will began crying again, happy tears spilling over and down his face. "I love you too, Sunshine," he said, pulling Nico onto a deep kiss, smelling of fruity shampoo and isopropyl alcohol. Nico kissed back eagerly, and wrapped his arms around Will's neck while Will pulled him in by the waist.
They decided to stay in bed for the rest of the day. They still claim to this day that they just stayed and watched movies, but I know better.
671 words
Ok weird fact but if you are multiplying two digit numbers by eleven, you can just do this:
So, if I'm going to do
61 • 11
You can just
6 1
6 + 1 = 7
671
It works every time
The word count made me think of that.
🤷🤷
ADHD brain frfr