you never thought you'd be the one drowning your sorrows this way. tonight was different—usually, you'd be in the crowd, the familiar blare of guitars and cheers from the audience filling your ears. but not tonight. tonight, you were backstage, a bottle of vodka in hand instead of the excitement of a performance.
you took another swig, the burn of the alcohol trickling down your throat and settling in your stomach. every gulp was supposed to numb the sting of the groupies' words, their hate from them had really gotten to you, gnawing away at your confidence.
instead of the adrenaline rush of the concert, you felt a numbing haze cloud your senses. the cheers of the crowd felt distant, replaced by the bitter taste of vodka and the harsh reality of your insecurities. you glanced at the mirror, seeing a distorted reflection staring back at you. the face that usually radiated with confidence now looked vulnerable, lost in a sea of doubt.
your fingers tightened around the bottle, its cold surface a stark contrast to the warmth spreading through you. with each sip, you tried to drown out the doubts that plagued your mind, the feeling that maybe, just maybe, ace didn't truly love you. the thought was like a knife twisting deeper with every passing second.
the weight of emotions, coupled with the numbing effects of the alcohol, became too much to bear. your vision blurred, and the edges of your consciousness frayed as you stumbled backstage.
you barely registered the cold, hard surface beneath you as you collapsed onto the dressing table, a cascade of bottles and makeup kits bearing witness to your descent into oblivion. the stench of alcohol clung to your clothes, a pungent reminder of the choices that led you down this path.
unbeknownst to you, the door creaked open, and the familiar footsteps of kiss members echoed through the room. the atmosphere grew tense as the four entered, their faces etched with a mixture of confusion and concern.
eric leaned in, shaking you gently at first, then with increasing urgency.
no response.
your hand weakly pushed him away, a feeble attempt to escape the intrusion into your unconscious state. ace and paul exchanged worried glances, their faces etched with concern. "what happened?" ace's voice trembled with a mix of confusion and alarm.
paul shook his head, his eyes narrowing as he took in the scene. "she reeks of alcohol," he muttered.
gene, ever the pragmatist, approached you with a stern expression. he grabbed your shoulders, shaking you with a force that left everyone taken aback. "hey! wake up!" he barked, his patience wearing thin.
but still, you remained unresponsive.
"should we call someone?" gene said, giving up, putting his pants on his hips and turning to the guys.
hust as he finished the sentence, your eyes shot open. you sat up abruptly, disoriented and bewildered. the faces of kiss stared back at you, a tableau of concern and relief.
"y/n, what happened?" ace's voice was soft, his eyes searching yours for answers.
"i don't know," you mumbled, your voice barely audible. "just felt like drinking tonight, i guess. went a little overboard." the lie tasted bitter on your tongue, but you couldn't bring yourself to admit the real reason – the relentless taunts of the groupies, the doubts creeping in, the fear that maybe ace didn't love you as much as he claimed.
attempting to get up, you found your legs wobbling beneath you. your hand reached out to steady yourself against the cold, unforgiving wall. no one said anything; the unspoken tension in the room hung thick.
you were tired. and your heart hurt. and you felt kinda embarrassed.
ace broke the heavy silence, his voice tinged with a mixture of concern and bewilderment. "it's usually me doin' all that," he said, casting a glance around the room. "not you. you've never drank this much before."
you shrugged, unable to meet his gaze. the truth lingered beneath the surface, an unspoken acknowledgment of the pain that had driven you to this point. yet, the weight of the admission felt too heavy, and you chose to remain silent.
after a moment, ace sighed, his eyes softening with understanding. "come on," he said gently, reaching out to guide you. "let's go home."
he slipped his arm around your waist, helping you to stand. your legs were still wobbly, and he held on to you tighter. his closeness brought a comforting warmth that made you almost forget about your problems, for a moment.
ace's arm felt like a secure anchor as he guided you, his touch providing a steadying force amidst the turmoil. the chaotic backstage atmosphere began to blur into the background as he navigated you toward the exit.
"need a cab," ace murmured, his voice tinged with concern. he hailed a taxi, guiding you into the backseat with a protective arm around your shoulders. the bright city lights streaked past the windows, a dizzying blend of colors and shadows that seemed to mirror your disoriented state.
soon enough, the cab pulled up in front of the apartment designated for the tour. ace paid the fare, his focus solely on ensuring you were safely inside. the familiar comfort of the living space greeted you, though tonight it felt different – a sanctuary from the chaos, perhaps, or a temporary reprieve from the weight of your emotions.
as the door clicked shut behind you, the silence enveloped you both, punctuated only by the soft hum of distant city sounds. ace led you further into the apartment, his movements deliberate yet gentle, as if afraid that any sudden motion might shatter the fragile calm.
finally, you found yourselves in the dimly lit bedroom. ace released his grip just long enough to allow you to sit down on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving yours. the room seemed to hold its breath, the tension palpable as you both stood there, suspended in a moment of raw vulnerability.
ace waited for a moment, seeming to assess the situation before speaking. "hey... y'know, you can tell me anything, right?" he waited for your reply, but once again silence was the only answer.
"can you, um..." he paused, biting down on his lip. "can you look at me?
you forced your heavy eyelids to lift, meeting ace's concerned gaze.
his eyes were intense, the concern written all over his features. "what happened back there?" ace was direct, wasting no time. he didn't like the idea of you keeping things from him.
"i dunno... bored and tired, so i drank," you mumbled, your words slurring together. with that, you chose to fall back onto the bed, seeking the familiar embrace of its softness as a retreat from the questions and the world that suddenly felt too heavy.
this caught him off guard. "bored? tired?" ace's voice was incredulous.* "but, y'know, that's what i do. i drink when i don't wanna deal with things – not you."
ace paused, his features softening with genuine concern. "there's obviously something behind all this." he sat down next to your laying form, taking your hand. "and it's killing me, that you wont tell me."
you felt the weight of his words, his concern pressing against your muddled thoughts. taking a shaky breath, you managed to voice the question that had been haunting you, "do you love me?"
your question left him speechless, his expression softening at the obvious insecurity beneath the words. "do i love you?" ace looked away, his gaze wandering across the room.
"i think, no matter how hard i try to explain it, you'll never understand how much," he answered softly. he paused for a moment, his gaze returning to yours. he took a deep breath and brushed a stray hair away from your face. "i love you."
your heart skipped a beat at his words, a mix of relief and doubt swirling within you. however, before you could fully embrace the reassurance, the lingering insecurities resurfaced, and you found yourself bringing up the topic that had been gnawing at your thoughts.
"but what about the groupies, ace?" you questioned, the vulnerability evident in your voice. "i hear things, they—"
ace cut you off, a hint of frustration in his eyes. "those girls at the park don't know anything. they're just jealous and trying to get under your skin. and about the groupies, that's in the past. you're the one i want, the one i chose."
your skepticism began to wane as you locked eyes with ace, reading the sincerity etched in his gaze. The doubts that had clouded your mind slowly started to dissipate. he noticed the faint smile that crept onto your face, a subtle yet telling sign that you were beginning to believe him.
"all i needed was t' see that smile," ace said softly, his eyes reflecting a mixture of relief and genuine affection.
looking down at ace's costume and makeup, you felt a pang of exhaustion hit you. the events of the evening, coupled with the emotional rollercoaster, had drained you. with a weariness that seemed to seep into your bones, you managed to ask, "are you gonna take all of that off?"
"yeah, i'll get out of this," ace replied with a soft nod, sensing your fatigue. he rose from the bed, making his way to the bathroom. the sound of water running soon followed, accompanied by the subtle rustle of fabric.
minutes passed, and the dim light from the bathroom indicated ace's return. now dressed in a comfortable black shirt and gray sweatpants, he held a glass of water, offering it to you with a gentle expression.
ace had anticipated your reaction, the concern evident on his face. he nudged the water your way with a gentle smile.
"come on, let's see if we can sober you up a bit... one sip at a time." his gaze was empathetic, yet firm, his expression brooking no argument. he waited patiently for your response.
without saying a word, you snatched the cup from his hand and proceeded to chug its contents in one go. the cool water offered a momentary respite from the haze of alcohol that clouded your senses. ace watched, a mix of concern and amusement playing on his features, as you downed the water with determined intensity. You slam the cup down on the night stand and lay back down.
ace chuckled at your fervor, the amusement evident on his face. "good to see you're still in there," he said teasingly, his tone laced with affection.
ace settled down next to you, arranging you in a more comfortable position on the bed. he cradled you against his chest, wrapping his arms around you. your head found a resting place on his shoulder, and the warmth of his embrace provided a sense of security. the room was filled with the steady rise and fall of his breath, a comforting lullaby that gently eased you into a deep slumber. in the embrace of ace's arms, the worries of the night gradually faded away, leaving only the peaceful quiet of sleep.