∘°∘♡ - 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 -༉‧₊˚✧
↳ a destructive article leads to confessions
and the creation of new songs and love
❪ real life ❫
*warning: this chapter contains misogyny,
mentions of cheating, false accusations and
anxiety/panic attacks
life hated her. it was clear that it had some sort of grudge against her, that she had wronged someone because no one who was innocent deserved this — not even on her worst enemies would she wish this sort of punishment and yet it happened to her.
she didn't know what made it so hard — where had she gone wrong so terribly? taken the wrong turn that had led to her driving into a hole?
a feeling of failure welled up inside her. anything she touched got ruined, red roses turned black by the instant she touched them. why did he hate her so much?
she would never know. she had never given him a reason to hate her. even if one day they would break up, she would have never resented him. sure their relationship has their ups and downs with lots of on and off but she had never expected him to hold such a grudge against her.
it should have been her, she should be the one to be mad, angry, it was her right to play the scorned woman after he had cheated on her. but instead solitude and secrecy had become her best friends, forced to lay low while he could spread whatever lies lies he wanted, only futhering the damage.
he always knew how to hurt her the most, didn't he? during the timeline of their relationship it had always been him to hurt her the most, to know exactly around which scars he had to draw stars to extend the pain.
usually karma was for the people who had wronged persons, had done them bad but what had she done? it should have been his reputation not hers, the stupid game they had started playing should have ended with her winning and not with her hiding in a city. he always won.
he won at games they played, at arguments, at races they had done together — he had won at everything against her. and she, as stupid as she been, had let him. she had let him win at everything.
clearly, she had been in a bad mental state. because there were signs, signals that she was suffering. but no one picked them up, no one paid attention and she had ruined any relationship she had had with any true friends due, having pushed them away at the request of evan. now she found herself with nothing.
so all in all, she truly regretted him. all the feelings, tears and time she had spent on him had clearly been a waste. qui lui avait mémé dit, de poursuivre un homme qui avais déjà une femme? — who had even told her to go after a man who already had a woman?
whenever she self-reflected she always asked herself the same question. but then again, she wouldn't have met kylian if it hadn't been for all this.
the international french striker had somehow opened a world for her that evan had closed. love was about creating and he had created a world full of colors for her after evan had squeezed all the color out of hers. it meant picking up the pieces no matter how small they were because the person was worth it. she was worth it.
kylian had decided that when he had first met her. he had been bored out of his mind, that specific night, before his eyes had spotted her. he had only seen her from the back, but had immediately been intrigued by her. especially because the bartender was serving her drink after drink, which had instantly impressed him. he could count on one hand, the amount of women, he knew that were able to drink like that. needless to say, he had an invisible pull towards her.
and getting to know her had also been a complete blast. after getting over the fact that he was flirting with his celebrity crush (something he hadn't told anyone about), he was immediately wooed by her, especially her sarcasm and smiley attidue. sure, at the moment it didn't come out much but when it did, kylian often felt himself fall all over for her again because it was the most beautiful thing on her. he didn't understand how the medias could write such things about such a lovely person and still wondered how this asshole was able to date such a stunning woman like her. (he was ready to offer his whole contract if someone gave him the answer to his question.)
evan had the upper-hand in her tricky situation and the article made it clear. still, her flop at relationships couldn't have been that bad, since evan had been the only person she had ever dated. and she certainly wasn't a narcissistic person. he loved to spin her words around.
amara was the furthest thing from a narcissist. and she had never cheated in her entire life. not even on a basic school test and certainly not on a person. so of course it hurt her when several articles were thrown around, where her ex-boyfriend stated that she had cheated on him in the beginning.
the thing that upset her the most was the way he spun the story. he could have said what he wanted to keep the public on his side. but twisting the whole narrative and telling the public, she didn't care much about mental health was too far. especially because she still remembered the way he would laugh at her whenever she would have a panic attack. and for him to say now, she always joked about it.
he had never even know how a panic attack felt like — he wouldn't know the way it crept up slowly. like a tumor that had nested in. it built up slowly without any remarking, but slowly the symptoms were starting to get recognizable. that was anxiety. (something evan had probably never felt and why would he?)
as she read the article, angst started building up and like a maline tumor it spread through her body, leaving her brain for last. the further she read, the further it nestled in. when she had arrived at the end of the article, her hands were trembling and sweat pearls rolled down her forehead. she clutched her phone tightly, dizziness setting in with her vision blurring.
cause was the article that was opened on the display of her phone, the significance of the end of her career, everything she had worked so hard for — vanished with the simple publishing of a few words. her sweat, blood and tears were, all for nothing. the words were mocking her, giving power to the anxiety that had built up in her body. like a bomb and the detonator had just been lit. a wave of panic rushed down, this time anxiety had reached her head.
amara was drifting in a sea of despair and hopelessness, the weight on her shoulders becoming too much for her to bear. all the work, kylian had done was gone — the positive words were replaced by negativity and uncertainty, taking over her rational side.
breathing suddenly became harder, staying awake became difficult. it started in her chest, the first thing that stopped moving, the ache spreading through her body. next it were her legs that disconnected from her mind. she didn't even acknowledge her body losing stability and collapsing on the ground — her body was there but her mind wasn't.
before she even realized, amara was grasping for air, her lungs completely cut off from oxygen. her heartbeat raced dangerously, as if activating its survival mode when in case of shortness of breath.
her hands tingled but she wasn't able to shake them, make it stop. all she could focus on was her career dying, herself dying with it. in a second, amara wasn't in her room anymore; instead she found herself under water with no air.
the heavy knot in her neck thickened as tears ran down her cheeks. she fought the urge to throw up and tried to keep her food down but the thought of being worthless, of having lost everything was making it hard.
the ringing in her ear became louder, her vision becoming more and more blurrier with the tears. she let go of her phone and put her hand palms on her ears, trying to stop the ringing while also making an effort to breathe but it was getting harder... so much harder for her.
hyperventilating, she pulled her knees into her chest, hugging them tighter even though her hands were shaking violently. she knew what she must have been looking like at the moment, weak, a liability, insecure — but that's what she was.
she had nothing anymore. the article was just the physical proof of what everybody thought, that she had wasted years of her life trying to become someone she would never be.
was this the moment where whitney houston had decided to drink away her sorrows? the changing moment that had ripped all hope from her? truthfully she wasn't crying over love, she wasn't heartbroken but she had poured everything into her career. made sure that it would be her legacy if she ever left and it was all gone now. all gone.
her thoughts were interrupted by the sudden opening of her door, her body going immediately into its "danger" mode. her body, in its disconnected mode, picked up that it was kylian but it didn't register what he was saying — it was too busy trying to breathe.
amara didn't notice how he dropped everything and rushed to her side, immediately understanding her state. her mind didn't acknowledge how he grabbed her hands softly and sat down next to her on the floor. but she started to feel his presence, his warmth.
"heyy...," he whispered softly but got no response from amara. she looked up at him but it was clear that her mind was everywhere but here. "ca va aller, je suis la." — it's going to be okay, i'm here
kylian's eyes scanned around the hallway till they found amara's phone with the article still showing on her screen. he wasn't new to it, he had heard of it this morning when neymar had spoken about it at training and it had taken kylian every of his willpower to continue doing his exercises instead of defending amara like he would have wanted. he had wanted to warn amara but seeing in which state she currently was, it appeared she had been quicker than him.
"okay, mara," kylian began a nervous undertone in his voice that he tried to hide, "i'm not the best at this but i've seen people do it on tv... so hope it works for now — anyway tell me five things you can see?"
she didn't answer but her eyes were focused on kylian now, meaning she was slowly coming back even though her chest was still moving rapidly. "come on mara, essaie-le pour moi." — try it for me
her hands affirmed the grip around his, her taking all her will as she tried to speak, "your bag, the magazine... phone, the floor, ... your jacket."
"c'est deja bien ca, on continue," kylian praised her, "now tell me four things you can touch." — that's already good
she nodded, her heartbeat starting to become more frequently, "your hands... the floor, your face and... my phone."
"okay, it's actually working," kylian said but more to himself than to amara, surprised to see that the method he had watched so often actually worked. "three things you can hear?"
"your voice, the traffic,... music from the radio in the kitchen." she replied, her voice not as shaky anymore. her hands had stopped shaking and the dizziness had faded away.
"maintenant, dit moi... two things you can smell." he told her reassuringly. — now tell me
"you and... cinnamon from the candle." she told him hesitantly although her voice had steadied and sweat pearls had stopped rolling down her forehead. her tears had subsided too but her eyes were still watery.
kylian clapped her hands together, happy for the progress she had made. "see, you're already doing great. one thing you can taste?"
amara nodded... "my tears, they're kind of salty."
"and now take small breaths" kylian instructed and amara followed his orders, gripping his hand tighter when she struggled but it helped — minutes passed and her heartbeat became steady again, her body leaving the panic mode again.
"it's going to be fine mara," kylian told her softly, his voice coming out faintly but it was loud enough for amara. his presence was calming in the middle of her storm, the hurricane she had seen coming from miles but had chosen to ignore it and live in the ignoring bliss with kylian.
he put his arms around her, hugging her tightly with his arms forming a protective shield around her. the gesture was all it took for amara to break. a crack in the surface and suddenly all liquid started flowing. tears she had thought she had all cried already were rolling down her cheeks rapidly, breaking free in torrents. her sobs shaked her whole body with an intensity she could no longer contain.
kylian was caught by surprise about the intensity of amara's sobs and cries. tears were rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably, and it didn't seem to end any time soon. he held her closer, her face burying into his shirt, embracing her weak and fragile state. his heart broke with every sob that amara let out. every tear carried her pain, made it clear that she was hurting.
her body screamed sadness, grief — it was in deep mourning, mourning over her career she had just lost, watched go down the drain. he absorbed her pain, her sufferance, letting her cry it all out. no words he could tell her now would be able to take away that kind of hurting. he was letting her be, mourn the way she should have been the first time instead of trying to hold it all in. his arms had become a sanctuary, safety amara had so often kylian described with — a refuge that let amara express all her grief and take off all the weight on her shoulders.
somehow he felt failure — as if he had failed her. kylian had promised to protect her, make her eyes brighter again and he had thought he had been enough. but their bubble had been burst and both had clashed hard with reality
his grip around her body tightened as he held her firmly, pressing her softly against his chest. His shirt was wet, filled with her tears, and her pain that she had let out in the form of water. the room filled with the sound of amara's anguish, her cries echoing against the walls.in that moment, time seemed to stand still. he held her close, his arms put up tightly around her like a shield from all the negative thoughts.
"ca va aller cherié," he whispered along with soothing words, acting like a balm to her wounded soul, and most importantly giving her the safety that she was not alone; that she didn't have to go through the pain alone. — it's going to be okay, honey
each second that passed, her sobs started to subside, their intensity getting less and less. soon they were replaced by sad sniffles and hiccups, as she clung to kylian's chest, finding solace in his presence. there was a sense of comfort in his heartbeat, he radiated life with the rhythm of his heartbeat. the world around them seemed to fade away.
the storm in her had settled and amara slowly started to gather the strength she needed to lift her head from kylian's chest. she was exhausted and felt even more vulnerable after having a panic attack in front of the french striker. she never wanted for him to see her like that — weak, vulnerable, desperate.
"i ruined your shirt," amara said quietly, wiping away her tears. "i'm sorry, it's all wet now because of my tears."
"it's a shirt mara, i planned on changing it anyway because of training. don't apologize for things like that again, you don't have to." kylian objected, scolding her lightly. "how do you feel?"
"stupid, weak, empty." she listed quietly under her breath. "like it was all for nothing."
"don't say that. you're worth more than just your career."
"i was never enough, always too low."
"you were always enough," he replied firmly.
she sat up straight again, leaning her back against the wall next to and taking place next to kylian. there was no other way now, she had to do it. her mother had always said, when you love someone you have to be able to let go. it was her time to let kylian go — she wouldn't drag kylian down with her. this path was destined for her and not him.
her eyes filled with tears, as she turned to look at him. her heart was heavy with emotions. her reputation, tarnished by a turbulent past, had the potential to cast a shadow over their relationship. to hurt him just because he held love for her. and she would never do that to him. amara had started to love him, to feel more for him than a simple crush. time had given that to her and she couldn't bear to taint him like she tainted everything that she touched.
her voice was shaky, tears had started to run down her face again as she looked at him, met his eyes. "kylian, i think it's better if we don't go further than this. you deserve so much more than me." she swallowed the big lump in her throat before continuing to speak, "my reputation has never been worse and my past should not hold you back from living your best life."
his eyes widened with surprise, behind them laid concern. "amara, please don't say that. i promised you that i would stay by your side, through good and bad. i'm not going go leave now. you don't have to worry about me."
she sighed, lowering her head, not being able to face the hurt expression on kylian's face. his unwavering love and devotion was clear in his eyes — they were an open book to all the emotions he was feeling. he wouldn't understand, his life was different than hers. "ky...," she began, his name coming out faintly. "i've made some mistakes, trusted some people i shouldn't have and karma is getting to me, i guess. but i would never forgive myself if i dragged you into my mess. it's better that way."
he shook his head, feeling tears come up but swallowed them down — he knew this wasn't her, what she truly wanted. he just had to find that part of her again. the one that was willing to love again and open herself to the world.
"amara, i know who you are. and i love who you are. and i don't care whether you are a bitch apparently or if you are a narcissist — all that matters to me is the person i got to know these past weeks. i love all of you, including the parts that you may deem as flawed."
his hand searched for hers, squeezing it lightly to show her his support, the safety that lied in their bond.
"amara," kylian whispered, his eyes scanning her soul the moment she looked up, staring right back at him. through her soul. "i know you think the worst of yourself," he began, his voice a light tone. "i know you need someone to hold you... hold you like you are the most important thing in the world, and i will. i promise you i will. but you need to let go," he murmured softly, "you need to let go of that rock you're grasping from a clip and let yourself fall. And i will be there to catch you."
there was so much love and pain in the atmosphere. one couldn't exist without the other, if you have loved without hurting, you didn't love. because love hurt, the urge to let go because you love a person so much. "i just don't want to hurt you. you're france's golden boy and i'm the black sheep of music. i can't see you get dragged down because of me. i can take my career ending, but yours is so bright and you have so much to achieve yet, it wouldn't be fair."
how was he supposed to change her mind, make her see that everything was right. that she was the light of his life and not the darkness of the night. "amara, i choose to be here because i love you. because i can't stand the thought of you being hurt. that's love. hurting for the other but knowing that the other is supporting you, has you back all the time." he assured her, deep meaning behind every of his word. "amara, i won't force you to be here. this is your choice. if you tell me to leave right now i will. do you want me to?"
her reasoning began to take the upper head again. was this worth it, letting kylian leave and mourn after his departure everyday. but she loved him too much to drag him down with her. she knew he loved her, he has said it multiple times. several songs were scribbled down in her notebook, all able to describe kylian and the way he loved her. would she give all this up — she knew he couldn't. "i don't want you to leave. please don't."
a fond smile appeared on his lips, bringing out the two spots on each side of his cheek that always made amara weak. he held out his pinky. "we're going to survive this storm together. me with you at your side. are you in?"
she lifted up her pinky, intertwining it with his. "i'm in. je ne veux plus être seule." — i don't wanna be alone anymore.
he smiled at her brightly, happy of his success for convincing her. kylian was there to guide her through the storm, hold her hand when the wind was getting too strong and leaving her back. her problems might not have lessened but his presence reminded her of her own worth, that she wasn't unlovable like evan had always made him believe. she took a deep breath before surprising kylian again by throwing her hands around his figure and hugging the french striker tightly.
there was a tiny spark of hope, a silent promise even though there wasn't a concrete promise of happiness but he made it easier. kylian made facing the road easier. there they stood, entwined in each other's arms, knowing that they were safe. that any storm could hit them but it would hit them together now.
after giving him a last squeeze, inhaling his scent for one more time, she let go of him, meeting his gaze. her eyes were bloodred, skin pale and yet a smile was on her lips.
"will i ever be more?" amara asked into the void. "like will my name ever be cleared?"
"i don't know how much i'll have to tell you: you're worth more than words can describe. no ballon d'or or world cup mean anything to me anymore since i met you. i wake up with a smile because of you and go to bed with a grin because of you. you're more than beautiful, ethereal. Je sais que tu n'est pas prête au moment mais je veux que tu saches que t'es tout pour moi." — i know you're not ready at the moment but i want you to know that you're everything for me.
she chuckled softly. "i don't deserve you, ky."
he waved dismissively. shrugging it off. "how about a nice warm bath while i cook for you and then we eat dinner together like planned?" he proposed, a smile on his face. "and before you start, don't worry, you don't have to feel guilty."
"i don't even feel like standing up at the moment." she joked lightly, a small grin on her face. "but a bath sounds nice."
kylian punched her lightly. "go take a bath amara and when you feel better again, there will be food for you." he was determined to make her feel better, to make her smile reach her eyes again. "chef kylian at your service, what would you like to eat?"
"surprise me," amara murmured, shrugging.
"then rice with chicken it will be. very good choice," he joked, "believe me, after having eaten my food, you won't wanna try anyone else's."
"you're making big promises mbappé." a smirk creeped up her smile at kylian's declaration. they both remembered very well the last time he had tried to cook with her, burning the tomato sauce to the pasta she had made. "you're too kind," she replied, her voice laced with playful sarcasm.
he smirked back at her, laughing. "and i tend to keep them."
"the last time you stepped into my kitchen, i had to clean up the entire floor because you made the tomato sauce explode. so excuse me for being wary."
he chuckled, rolling his eyes at the memory. "you're never letting that go, are you?" he questioned sarcastically, feigning offense. "but i'll let you know that i've been secretly working on my cooking skills, perfecting the art of rice and chicken. just you wait!"
she held her hand up in surrender. "fine, i'm leaving my kitchen in your hands. please try to not burn anything." she warned jokingly, taking all her strength to pull herself up. "i'll be back in a minute."
"you'll be surprised with what you're about to eat." he called after her as she disappeared into her bedroom before he stood up too and made his way to the kitchen.
he had been right. a shower had definitely been needed. the warm water had added an extra reassurance and calmness to her body and the several flowery oils had added an extra touch to the sensitivity of her skin, making it even softer. after stepping out of the bathroom, she had chosen a comfy sports leggings with a small crop top before she threw kylian's hoodie over her figure.
there was something comfortable and familiar about his hoodie, it smelled like him and reminded her of him. majority of her new songs had been written with said hoodie on her body, keeping her warm and reminding her about who she was even writing that song. the soft dark blue fabric draped over her shoulders, a bit loose as the hoodie was a bit big on her but she loved it that way. the comforting connection between herself and kylian just because of a hoodie was so much deeper than just their relationship. it helped find her way back.
amara was thrown out of her thoughts by her phone ringing, bringing her back to reality. reluctance was stopping her from answering the phone immediately but she accepted the call instantly once she saw the caller-id, smiling at the familiar voice on the other end.
"ada," her mother's soft voice greeted her, resembling music in her ears. 'ada' was a name her mother had started calling her, signifying the oldest daughter — a term her mother had brought home from her origin country nigeria. amara missed it.
"nne," amara whispered, her voice immediately breaking. "ana m atụ uche gi nke ukwuu." — mum, i miss you so much
"oh my dear ada," taraji imani exclaimed in despair, feeling the pain of her daughter. "i read what they wrote about you. ada, that boy must have hated you to do something like that."
amara scoffed. "i don't even know what i did that could make him do something like that. i loved him."
"that boy was never good and now we have finally seen him good colors. onye nzuzu," she cursed her daughter's ex boyfriend. "i know it hurts like hell in the moment but we both know you're stronger than this. we grew up in a third-world country, there has been worse."
even though her heart filled with gratitude and care, she still felt misunderstood by her mother. "mama, they're after me now for everything. everything i worked so hard for is gone."
her mother's mind stayed firm, not accepting any doubt or negativity in her mind state. "amara, believe me no one can decide what you're worth. i brought you into this world and i had already deemed you worth than anything that existed. your name was written in the stars from the beginning. and no man or article is ever gonna change that. ekwere m gi nkwa." — i promise you.
amara smiled, finding strength in her mothers words. she admired her mother's strength to always see the positive in things that were clearly negative. "thank you mama. somehow this is exactly what i needed. ahụrụ m gi n'anya nke ukwuu." — i love you so much
"that's what i'm here for, right?" she replied jokingly, "highs and the lows, i'll always be here, holding you up, and cheering you on. and i am the proudest person everyday, because i had the privilege of raising you."
she swallowed the lump in her throat, taking a moment before answering. "i'm going to be fighting mama. i'm going to prove them wrong."
"that's what i was expecting from you." she applauded her. "wepụta oge gi iji gwọọ ma anyi ga-aga n'ihu. Aga m eme ihe niile iji hụ na i ga-alaghachi n'elu, ada. you'll tell me more about your new songs when i'm coming to visit you next week but i have to go now love. your father is calling me. and in case things still go wrong, you could always sue." — take your time to heal and we will move on. i'll do everything to make sure you get back on top, ada.
even though her mother couldn't see her, she nodded with her head, grinning at the last sentence. "yes, mama. i don't know if i'll sue but i'll keep it in mind. daalụ, ahụrụ m gi n'anya." — bye, i love you
"hụkwara gi n'anya." — love you too
her mother ended the call and amara placed her phone on the bed again. mothers always knew best, the truest sentence ever. she could hold on now, wait for the storm to wash over calmly.
the scent of rice and savory spices were what finally made her leave the bedroom. the smell of chicken found its way into her nose, making her stomach grumble in return. she had neglected eating since the past few weeks, only eating when necessary with her head being occupied so often.
walking into the kitchen, she watched with amazement as kylian moved between the stove and the oven. her original skepticism faded away with every second she watched. this somehow felt different — she was used to their small takeout dinners that had somehow turned into dates with their frequency. but cooking for her changed the situation. it felt more intimate, kylian wanted to put a genuine smile on her face again. show what it could be like if she let go but she couldn't. she had gone one step forward just to be put back three steps back again.
"i'm impressed," amara complimented him as she flipped the chicken, the crusty, golden-brown colour taking the surface. "this looks delicious."
"told you so," he bragged, pride flowing through his body. he turned off the stove, and placed the cooked chicken next to a bowl of rice along with some cooked vegetables that he had put into the oven.
she gratefully accepted her plate, instantly taking a bite since her desire for food was taking over her whole mind. a wide grin spread across her face as she savored the delicious creation. "i'm in love with this."
a prideful expression appeared on his face, happy to have brought the smile back on her face. he noticed that she seemed calmer again. the person she just talked too must have calmed her down again, amara seemed at easiness now.
he had poured everything into this meal. she would never know that he had called his mother after the cooking accident and asked her to teach him some cooking basics. he had wanted to give back to her, to show her that he didn't take her cooking for him when he was over for granted. it would forever be his secret but it was worth it, if it meant sitting here, talking to her and watching her laugh as she ate.
conversation flowed easily between them as they ate. the gloomy and sad atmosphere seemed to disappear replaced with a warm and comfortable air. it also surprised her how habitual everything had become. having dinner with kylian had become so natural for her, she couldn't even imagine having dinner alone anymore. they had created a rhythm to their life together.
after they had finished eating and amara had placed the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, she followed kylian to the counter, where the french striker had made himself comfortable on one of the leather stools. he instantly smirked once he recognized the hoodie she was wearing, the one he had given her before his away match.
"am i ever going to get my hoodie back?" he asked her in an amusing tone.
she looked at him with an incredulous expression, raising an eyebrow. "since when do people reclaim their given things?" she scolded him lightly. "it keeps me way too warm to give it back to you."
amara would never admit to him that the reason she loved his hoodie was because it smelled like him. it still possessed his scent like the day he had given it to her.
"i could just give you another one," he suggested, earning an eye-roll from amara.
"you could also just buy the same one again if you miss it so much. i mean, what else do you do with your 80 million euro contract?"
he shrugged her question off, waving dismissively. "tu sais quoi?" he retorted sarcastically, "keep it. i don't want it anymore." — you know what?
she laughed as he pouted, leaning her head down on the shoulder. surrounded by music and soft melodies coming out of the famous bluetooth box, the pair was engrossed in a conversation, their usual banter filled with humor and sarcasm. all of sudden the soft strains and first tact's of stevie wonder's "i just called to say i love you" began to play out of the box. she was surprised he had it in her playlist, considering he wasn't the type to like old, classic love songs.
his eyes developed a mischievous glimmer, sparkling nearly — one of the most beautiful things amara had seen on a person. the french striker lifted himself from the stool, starting to move to the beat while staring at amara with such an intensity, yearning and desiring to create another intimate moment of them. show her what they could be if she let herself fall, if she came back to the steps they had made already. all that through the simple act of swaying.
confusion grew on her face as she suddenly extended his hand to her, waiting for her to join him. she hesitated, reluctant as she knew she would embarrass herself when she would tell kylian she didn't know how to. as his expectance grew, amara sighed before confessing, "je connais pas danser comme ça." — i don't know how to dance like that
"how come? i mean aren't you a dancer mainly?" kylian asked curiously. "i thought singing was the sidething that you discovered?"
she arched an eyebrow. "did you read my wiki page?" she questioned him, smirking.
he rolled his eyes, glad that his skin wasn't lighter or else he would have matched the color of a tomato. "only parts," he admitted quietly and then pointed at her shocked. "don't try to change the subject here. why can't you slow-dance?"
sighing again and swallowing the lump in her throat, she replied in a somewhat gloomy voice, "because i've never slow-danced in my life. i missed my prom because i was sick and evan hated dancing. wherever we were, weddings, events, he didn't like it. and i never needed it for any of my choreos, so i thought it wasn't important."
a fond smile on his face, his gaze softened with his hand remaining extended. in some twisted way, he was thankful for evan — because of the many screw-ups, he was able to show amara what love could really be. create moments with her, that strengthened and bonded a relationship. "come on," he told her, waving her over to him. "i'll teach you. you can have as many dances as you want."
without further hesitation, she placed her hand in kylian's, her body immediately reacting to the act. their hands intertwined, with warmth and love radiating between their bodies, kylian started the song from new and began to guide the singer through the living room, a soft orange-yellow glow looming over them and illuminating every of their step.
she was scared at first, it was clear from the beginning. instead of looking at him, she focused too much on her feet, stumbling whenever she was unsure and got confused with the steps. but he was patient. "just let yourself unite with the music, feel it instead of trying to perfect steps. it comes naturally."
"and i'm supposed to be the singer?" she retorted rhetorically, nonetheless she still accepted his advices, gazing into kylian's eyes as they continued. it went better now — his presence and guide helped her find her own rhythm in the music and a few mishaps and wrong steps soon turned into growing confidence in her movements. when the tunes of "sexual healing" began, amara had learned to trust the guidance of kylian's hands. here they stood, their bodies swaying to the soft tunes and bonding over their new-found trust for each other. the living room became a place with no worries but only themselves.
no money on earth could replace this moment for her. he didn't realize but he was giving her so much more. kylian gave her the world. he was ready to let his be destroyed if it meant her happiness. he had proven to her so many times that he would be here, that he wouldn't move. she had been emotional and vulnerable in front of him and he still wanted her. she didn't know, kylian would always want her.
as the evening descended, the two continued to dance to old, timeless love songs, time holding still for them. hours passed as they swayed to different songs. after a good one and a half hour spent teaching amara how to dance, they collapsed on the couch, both out of breath from the all the dancing.
"since when were you such a dancer?"
"i'm not. but my parents used to dance to this sometimes when i was a child before they divorced." he replied, the memory putting a smile on his face."
"you should stick to it. after getting to know your music taste and hearing you sing, dancing is definitely the better choice as a back-up career." she retorted mockingly.
his face scrunched up, offended by her statement. "i'll have you know that music and me work perfectly. i can even play some intrusments."
"as if," amara replied, raising an eyebrow. "you, mr. i have to do everything at lightening speed, had the patience to learn an instrument. i'll believe it when i die."
instead of replying to her, kylian grabbed her hand pulled her up. he dragged amara to the next room, knowing a majestic black piano would be waiting for them there. his face lit up with delight, loving how he would he not only be able to impress her but also prove her wrong. he loved proving people wrong.
a sly grin on his face, he placed his fingers on the ivory/white keys. she was intrigued, she wouldn't lie about that but her sceptism hadn't completely turned into curiosity. still, the fact that kylian was able to connect with music made him even more attractive in her eyes.
amara would have liked a warning. a breathtaking, gorgeous melody sounded through the room the moment kylian began to play. his fingers flew effortlessly over the keys, as if he had played his entire life long. she was instantly captivated by the enchanting melody, her sceptism immediately replaced with awe and adoration.
and all of sudden, her head was filled with lyrics. words that weren't wording became genuine, breathtaking lyrics for a song. if she didn't write her ideas and sentences down now, she would forget them.
"this is gorgeous." she exclaimed, interrupting kylian, the latter jumping up instantly at the sound of his name. he had been so focused on playing, he hadn't noticed the spark in her eyes but he saw it now clearly. "just wait here, i'll be back in a second." she told the french striker, walking out of the room.
she came back a few minutes later with a pen and her notebook, where she wrote down all her new song ideas. she quickly flicked through the book, looking quickly for a new blank page. since kylian's arrival in her life, motivation was flowing constantly. and she was so ready to use it after such a long drought.
"now play it again." she ordered him excitingly. "je ne sais pas ou t'as pris cette melodie mais je l'adore. J'ai besoin d'elle." — i don't know where you got that melody but i love it, i need it.
he smirked at her urgence. "see, je le t'avais dit. i'm a pro at this." — see, i told you so
"will you play it again, if i tell you, i should have never doubted you?" amara inquired, impatient to write her thoughts down. somehow after having been so vulnerable in front of him, she didn't feel the need to hide anything from him anymore. she was fine, exposing her heart on a sleeve towards him. giving him the five percent she had never given anyone but always kept to herself.
"wouldn't hurt to hear this one more time."
"ky, i'm sorry i ever doubted you. je te promets, à partir de maintenant, j'aurai toujours confiance en toi. now play please." — i promise, i'll never doubt you again, from now on i'll always trust you
he chuckled, pleased with his success. he obliged and continued to play the previous melody over and over, his fingers sliding gracefully across the keys. amara let herself down on the floor next to him, furiously scribbling notes as kylian played.
in silent screams
in wildest dreams
i never dreamed of this
the lyrics were flowing out of her, her mind radiating motivation. kylian played soft tones that matched her feelings, matched the way she felt about him. how he changed her perspective on love. showed her that it could be so much more than just pain and suffering. she had experienced bad love with evan and was now experiencing all the good things with kylian.
This love is good
This love is bad
This love is alive back from the dead
they both knew, they still had to make some steps. steps that the article and her insecurity had pushed back. but like so often, music created connections. a bond between her creativity and his musical power.
he was there for her whenever she needed him. ready to pull her up whenever something had knocked her down. when she lost control of her own life, lost herself he was ready to navigate her, remind her who she was. somehow his timing was always perfect. it was shown when he appeared today, just in time for her heavy panic attack.
in losing grip
On sinking ships
You showed up just in time
and so, they spend their evening with kylian playing various melodies he had learned on the piano and her using that to give her brain inspiration and writing her song. a simple sarcastic exchange had lead them to this moment, a collaboration that made them find out how much music could create everlasting moments and firsts.
This love came back to me
she had lost love, hadn't truly felt its feeling and sensations and he had brought it back to her. but she wouldn't lie and say evan had only been bad. only problem with him had been that he had destroyed her in the end. still she could, would rise from all that.
maybe her reputation was at its worst for the moment — but kylian liked her for her. that was all that mattered.
↳ *cia's quick rambles* ༉‧₊˚✧
so this kind of brought all the process kylian and amara did, five steps back but sadly it had to happen. next chapter is gonna be much funnier and way more fluff <3