Static.
Opens to Dipper holding a basket of chicken strips as you are seen in the back sleeping with a stuffed animal.
Dipper: Well, that concludes Gravity Falls anomaly #13, the Möbius chicken strip. (Eats chicken strip) It's infinitely delicious!
Something runs past the camera.
Dipper: Whoa! Hey! What the—Aah!
Camera falls over
Dipper: (Picks up camera) Y/N, Mabel, did you see that? Wake up!
Mabel: Never. (Faces the other direction) Let me sleep forever.
You groan as the camera hits you as you just put a pillow over your head.
Dipper: (points camera at Mabel) Some creature just jumped out of nowhere! It's eating our leftover Summerween candy!
Mabel: (Gets up) What?!
Dipper turns the camera to show you gripping the heck out of your stuffed animal with wide eyes as you were up already.
Dipper: (Points camera at the monster) Look!
Mabel: Ew, it's like a... naked little man.
You: pelp...
Dipper: (Holds up title card) Okay, this is now Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, # 76, uh, "That Thing?"
The Thing: (Eats candy) (Picks up candy basket)
Mabel: No, put it down. Put it down...
The Thing: (Licks the basket)
Mabel: Oh, gross!
You: (groans as you throw your stuff animal with intense force at the monster)
Static.
Dipper: (Comes into view dressed in squeaky toys) Okay, I'm ready. I've covered myself in armor. (Squeaks toy with golf club) I'm going to capture him for science.
Mabel and you: And for candy!
Dipper: Get this on tape in case I die or whatever. (Walks over to the Thing and moves some candy with the golf club, then tries to catch it in a wastebasket) Aha!
The Thing (Climbs up the ceiling)
Mabel: Oh! Die mutant! Die! (Throws squeaky toy at it, but it comes back and hits her) Ow!
You threw your stuffed animal having the solid eye hitting it making it screams
The Thing: (Jumps into the staircase)
Dipper: (Runs after it)
Mabel: Save the candy!
You: Save my (favorite candy)!!
Dipper: Where is it? Have you seen it? (Gets attacked by the monster)
The Thing (Jumps down on Dipper and knocks him over, grabs candy and runs off)
Static.
(The Thing is on the fridge. It throws the cereal onto the floor)
You: Plep!!
Mabels: Oh no!
Dipper: (Throws a can at the Thing)
The Thing: (Throws candy at Dipper and you)
Mabel: He's wasting candy! Dipper, open your mouth! Try to catch the candy in your mouth! Y/N do it!
You nodded and caught a candy in your mouth.
Dipper: What? No, why would I— (Catches candy in mouth and munches) Actually that's pretty good— (Gets hit by a big candy bar) Aah!
The Thing: (Runs with candy into the living room and turns on the TV with his foot, then stares at it)
Mabel: Look! He's hypnotized by the TV. Y/N also?
You were seen standing as you were hypnotized.
Dipper: Ha! And he dropped the candy! What a little dummy! Glued to the... to the... Oh, I love this movie.
Static.
(Dipper, Mabel, and the Thing are watching TV; Dipper, you, and Mabel are eating candy while the Thing eats a golf club)
Dipper: Shouldn't we... (munches) do something about the monster?
Mabel: Candy now. Monster later. (Feeds you a piece of candy as you smile derply)
The Thing: (Eats the golf club and whimpers, Dipper and you get another one for it and eats it)
Soos: Oh, hey Dipper! Hey Y/N! Hey Mabel! (Pauses, then looks at the Thing) Hey Grunkle Stan!
Dipper: (To the audience) Well, that's it for Dipper's Guide to the Supernatural. The next episode will probably be about getting rid of this candy-eating monster.
You nod in the background.
Soos: (To the Thing) Psst! Stan, what's he talking about?
Static.