Adriana's POV
"Testa di cazzo!" I curse out loud while slamming my bedroom door shut, heading straight into my walk-in closet.
I grab the large brown designer suitcase that's in the back, immediately annoyed with myself for never becoming independent after I got married, for allowing myself to be completely dependent on my husband's money.
Everything is his. This house is his. This suitcase is his. The clothes on my back are his, the cars, my phone, everything is his.
You're his. My stupid, annoyingly, subconscious screams at the back of my head as I grab onto the suitcase and begin to roll it out of the closet.
I stop for an immediate second as I watch Carmelo step into the bedroom, a bedroom that used to be our bedroom, his safe zone, my comfort place.
No matter how bad things got throughout the day, everything always seemed to feel better when we were both in here, both laying in each other's arms. The bedroom was the one place Carmelo could really be himself, the one place where he didn't have to have his walls up, the one place he can be at peace; his true self.
I loved seeing the soft side of him here. In here he was just Carmelo, in here he wasn't a mafia leader, he wasn't arrogant, demanding, in here he was simply just my husband.
"What are you doing amore?" He speaks cautiously, kicking the door closed behind him.
"Leaving," I hissed. "If you won't leave then I will."
"Adriana-," he urges forward, reaching for the suitcase. He takes it from my hand, lifting it inches off of the floor due to his height, following along beside me.
I point to the bed and he's instantly setting it down on top of it a second later. I quickly push him out of the way, unzipping the suitcase and leaving it open as I walk back into the closet to retrieve some of my clothes.
Carmelo stands quietly next to our bed, next to the suitcase that's starting to slowly fill up, watching me walk in and out of the closet multiple times, crying as quietly as I can so that I don't cause a scene so that our son isn't rushing in here, guns blazing, attempting to kill his own dad.
I hate that Carmelo lets me cry out my anger and hurt before he decides to plead his case and try to fix what's wrong. As much as I loved that he did that, I hate it at the moment. I don't need that from him right now. I need my husband to come running in after me in the closet, as pissed as I am. I need him to pull me into him so that I can scream my lungs out, hit him out of frustration, I need him to try and reassure me, I need him to just be here.
"Okay, that's enough!" He snatches the pile of clothes in my hands before I manage to throw it into the suitcase and is dropping them on the floor.
I glanced down at them, instantly annoyed that he threw them on the floor rather than onto the bed, quickly looking back at him, my blood bubbling even more so.
"You're two seconds away from getting slapped." I hissed.
"They're clothes. They're replaceable." He says and is grabbing onto the side of my arms with his hands, gesturing me towards the bed, "sit."
I don't move an inch. I stay standing for a couple more seconds looking up at the man I used to know, glaring up at him.
Carmelo sits me down on the edge of the bed, clearly seeing that I'm not budging and is kneeling down in front of me, immediately reaching for my hands. "Adriana, talk to me, baby, please."
I quickly yank them away from him, looking away from the man who's had my entire heart since I was in my early twenties.
I don't recognize this man kneeling down in front of me, the man that I fell in love with, the man that I married, my husband- he isn't a liar.
God how can I hate this man so much but yet still love him at the same time.
Carmelo always found ways to express himself, he always told me the truth no matter how fucking much it hurt, how much it bothered him, how dangerous it could be, he's never kept any secrets from me after everything we've been through, never.
"Adri-"
"What do you want me to say, Isaiah?!" I exclaimed.
The last time that I ever called Carmelo by his middle name was the day our son was born, the day he got on his knees and begged me not to leave him because I was threatening to take his son away from him.
I wasn't about to let an arrogant asshole like himself in my newborn's life. I couldn't think of myself anymore, I had to start being selfish, I had to think about my son, I had to put my family first before my own feelings, and he wasn't coming anywhere near us unless he truly changed, and he did.
He completely devoted himself to being a father and not some ruthless mafia leader for most of Isaac's childhood, up at least until he hit his early teens.
No matter how much my husband had changed his ways, his life eventually still caught up to our son and he ended up getting hurt in the process, bringing the ruthless mob leader right back.
I don't blame him for the way he is, I never did. I understood why he was the way he was, I understood his lifestyle the instant I found out about it, I just didn't want this life for my son and I hated that he was bound to this life.
Funny thing was as bad as I wanted to leave Carmelo I don't think I would've, I'm surprised he believed my bluff back then.
I was completely alone in the world, alone with a newborn, and I knew nothing about how to take care of a baby, I barely knew how to take care of myself. I was still healing from so many things with my ex and Carmelo at the time.
My oldest brother Fernando has disowned me because of my relationship with Carmelo, he actually said that I was dead to him, that he didn't have a sister because I chose to stick by Carmelo's side multiple times rather than with my blood.
Fernie instantly disapproved of my relationship with Carmelo the second he found out who he really was.
Shockingly Fernando and Carmelo actually had hit it off the second I introduced the two, although Fernie was still skeptical and over protective he had nothing bad to say about my boyfriend at the time, at least not until he saw him put a bullet into his coworker, who owed Carmelo a lot of money at the time.
Sal on the other hand, he was a fucking delinquent at the time, his entire life was actually a mess before Carmelo set him straight so I definitely couldn't rely on him for anything.
My mother obviously took Fernando's side because he was the man of the house and whatever he said went, he of course was paying all the bills at the time so never wanted to argue with him.
She never once turned her back on me though, her doors were still open for her daughter for whenever I was ready to come back home, however Carmelo wasn't welcomed under her roof and if I were to go back I needed to be completely done with him, she didn't want me going back and forth and I didn't.
In the end I decided to distance myself from her. My mom being the angel she is, she kept reaching out and checking in on me which eventually started creating problems between her and Fernando and I didn't want her to have to choose between her kids so I made it easy for them.
My mother didn't even know she had a grandbaby until after I ran away from Carmelo a second time when Isaac was only about five months old. His life was catching up to me and I became paranoid, I was afraid for my newborn's life so I ran back to my family.
My mom obviously lost her shit for not knowing her only daughter had not only been pregnant with her first grandbaby, but she also missed Isaac's birth and decided to put her foot down with Fernando when I went back, giving him an ultimatum and he chose to not acknowledge me or his nephew.
He packed up a couple duffles bags that day and left telling our mother that he would not stay under the same roof her daughter was in.
Postpartum depression was a bitch back then and it's something I never want to go through again, which is a major factor as to why my son is an only child. It nearly made me want to kill myself because my brothers absence hurt more than I could ever begin to explain.
Fernando was my rock. He was my protector, he always kept me safe when it came to our father beating on our family, he was the only male figure that I trusted after my dad left and I so desperately craved his approval, his support, but I had my dads ego and pride back then, I was too stubborn to go looking for him and have him stomp all over my heart, again.
I stayed with my mom for about two days max because I knew Carmelo, he would eventually put two and two together and come banging on my mothers door and come find me so I left. My mother gave me enough cash to stay hidden for a while since I left the house nearly empty handed.
The morning I left, I took one bag and one bag only, and it mainly consisted of things for my son.
I was alone- I was alone and he was all I knew, no matter how bad my life was I was stuck with him, but I'm not that same poor helpless lonely girl anymore, now I was a queen, now people looked down to me, my husband bows down to me, his men bow down to me. I'll never feel that helpless ever again.
"What's on your mind amore? Talk to me please." Carmelo's voice pulls me out of my pensive state as he places a hand on my lap.
"How long have you known?" I asked, glancing back down at his hand on my leg, staring at the letter A tattoo on his thumb.
"I got the letter about four days ago," he responds.
"And the results? When did you receive those?"
"How did you get the letter, Adri?"
"I'm asking the questions here!" I quickly blurt out, keeping my voice at a minimum. "You had four fucking days to tell me about this, four fucking days, so no you don't get to ask questions!"
He nods his head looking down, "this morning, I got the results this morning while you were out doing your hair."
I quickly scoff and shoot back up to my feet, walking away from him. Funny thing is that I only left the house to go pamper myself because I had decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, I had decided to stop being so angry and start thinking positively. God was giving us another chance, my husband was alive, he was back, I wanted to start moving forward.
I woke up wanting to pamper myself because I always feel my best when I look my best. It had been a long time since I took care of myself and I needed the extra boost of confidence if I was going to try and fix my marriage.
"Adriana-"
"Does she know?!" I question looking back at him. He's back on his feet, still standing near the bed. "Have you told her already?"
He nods for a second time, an instant sob leaving throat as a hot sharp pain feeling fills my chest and chills are running up my arms.
Carmelo takes a couple steps forward, "baby-"
I quickly begin to shake my head and take a step back, "you talked to her- before you talked to me.. your wife.."
"Adriana, I was gonna tell you the instant you came home, baby. I wasn't going to keep it from you, that's why I called to see how long you would be out, but you took longer than expected and Isaac and Hailey beat you home.. I had to tell her, he's her son."
I shake my head a second time, backing away even more from him, "he's your son, he's your guy's son.."
"Hey," Carmelo coo's cornering me near the vanity, cupping my face in his hands. "This changes nothing, baby."
"This changes everything!" I exclaim, placing my hand on his chest shoving him away. "You have another son with another fucking woman, Carmelo!"
"I didn't cheat on you if that's what you're thinking, baby. We weren't together at the time, I promise. You had just left me and I wasn't thinking straight, it was a drunken mistake but I still could have never hurt you like that purposely.. It's no excuse, but you read the letter yourself, Adriana, I only just found out as well! I haven't even processed that shit myself yet."
"And I get that, but I'm allowed to be upset! I'm allowed to be hurt!" I shout, tapping my hands on my chest. "Just when I think everything is finally gonna start going back to normal its bomb after fucking bomb! I'm allowed to be angry with you regardless of the situation, I'm allowed to be upset that I have to share you with another fucking woman, another fucking family!!"
"Share?" He frowns, shaking his head. "Baby, you're not sharing me with no one, especially not another fucking woman. I'm yours, Adriana, and only yours. I'll always be yours, even when you're done with me, I'll still be yours, I don't want anyone else. Cris is a grown ass man, he's not a toddler, I have no fucking ties to that woman other than that kid, who for all we know might not want anything to do with me after he finds out."
I scoff and nod my head, "he's gonna want you in his life. It might take him a while for him to accept you for who you truly are, but he'll want his dad in his life," my voice breaks as more tears stream down my face. "Especially after everything you've told me, Melo."
He takes a couple steps forward, standing directly in front of him and I'm instantly looking away as he cups my face with his hands.
"Then we'll cross that bridge when the time comes," he says, wiping my tears with his thumbs. "You are all that matters to me, Adriana. You, Isaac, Hailey and our unborn grandbaby are the most important people in my life, you're the only ones that I care about."
I shake my head, attempting to pull my face away from his touch, "don't do that, don't dismiss him. Your blood runs through that boy's veins just as much as his moms. You will not treat him any less than your son if he chooses to be a part of this family."
He nods, "please don't leave, Adriana, everytime you leave this house, you get closer and closer to not coming back, I'll go."
My eyes instantly begin to burn as they start to tear up again and I'm looking up, attempting to prevent the tears from spilling out but it's no use."
"Hey," Carmelo cups my face in his hands again, forcing me to look at him. "I am so sorry, baby. If I could change this I would, in a fucking heartbeat. I'd take the pain away, the hurt."
"It's not fair," I sob.
Carmelo pulls me into him, hugging the dear life out of me as I cry into his chest and slowly begin to break in his embrace.
It's been so long since he's held me, that I've been in his arms, that I almost forgot how safe he made me feel and everything that's happened in the last three months begins to hit me.
My legs quickly begin to feel like noodles the more and more harder I cry and they're threatening to give out a second later but Carmelo holds me up, he holds me close to him.
"I am so sorry," he says softly, holding me close to his chest. "For everything that I've done, baby, for everything that I've put you through, for not being here, but please don't give up on us, Adriana, please don't give up on me."
I place my hands on his torso, pushing away from him, "Carmelo-"
"I'll fix it, Adri, I promise, just give me sometime.. We'll make it work, we'll take it day by day, I don't want to lose you, you're all I have."
I inhale a deep breath and nod my head quietly, looking up at him a couple seconds later. "you better pray to God that your son will give you the time of day and hear you out before he loses his shit."
Carmelo snickers softly, "oh he's already lost it."
**
Little shorty but goodie, hope you guys enjoyed a little mama Matteo POV because this will probably be the only time that I ever write in her POV. After everything I felt like a little mama Matteo POV was needed, even if it was a baby chapter. Love you guys ❤️