🛏️NO ONES POV:🛏️
Mr. Bannister: Welcome, freshmen. I'm sure you're bummed to be back in school. Well, so am I! Five hundred words: what you did on your summer vacation! (hitting the desk)
Randy: Name: Randy Cunningham. Grade: Nine. Title: What I Did On My Summer... (his sentence is interrupted by a ginger-haired boy, Howard Weinerman and a (h/c) kid named (Y/N) (L/N))
Howard: Cunningham! Let me copy off ya.
You: Howard! You always copy first! Ran! Lemme get that sheet man!
Randy: Howard, [N/N] we can't turn in the exact same essay!
Howard: But we had the exact same summer! (He is struck by Mr. Bannister's shoe.)
You: (ducks putting on your hoodie and going to face your paper)
Mr. Bannister: No talking!
Howard: Ohhhh...
You: (snickers)
Randy (voice-over): Well... not the exact same. I mean, it started out the same.
‼️Flashing back to summer break. The scene transitions to Randy's room. The three best friends enthusiastically play the Grave Puncher trilogy‼️
Randy (voice-over): Then a week ago, something epic happened!
Video Game Announcer: Congratulations. You have punched all the graves. (Randy and Howard perform their handshake to celebrate their victory as you and Randy just hug each other with a smile)
Randy (voice-over): The day after that, something even epic-er happened!
A silhouette of an unknown man wearing a cowboy hat sneaks off Randy's room after dropping by to place a mystical box on Randy's table, Randy then curiously opens the box, to which the contents of it gave a radiating golden glow.
Randy: (carrying the book in a dramatic way) The NinjaNomicon... eh. (Randy dismisses the Nomicon and throws it aside, to which the Nomicon glows, he then picks up a handwritten note and reads it) You are the Ninja. Oh, my swee-heet! (He triumphantly holds the mask in excitement) I have to tell [N/N] and Howard! (reading the accompanying note) 'You can't tell anyone.' Aw, that's wonk!
Randy tries on the mask and feels a surge of power within him, where the magical ribbons of the suit envelope him, suiting him up into his Ninja form, finished off with an extravagant flip with the scarf flowing with the breeze
Randy (voice-over): Listen, I don't know how it works, but the Ninja suit is the straight-up cheese. It lets me do things I could never, ever do. (The flashback shows Randy as The Ninja giving martial-arts shouts while destroying objects in his room, such as punching a robot into minute contents and another alien toy, he then finished it off with kicking a purple plush bear's head): Hah... huh... haaaaa-YAH! Ha-hahh! Hah, haha, hah!
Randy (voice-over): I am Randy Cunningham. I am the Ninja! (Randy performs martial arts poses, his scarf transitions back to the present) ... It's pretty much the coolest thing ever!
⭐️Flashing forward to Bannister's class⭐️
Randy: Only problem is, I can't tell anyone – not even my best friends! (Howard hums as you click your pencil against the desk.)
Mr. Bannister: Pencils down!
Randy (voice-over): And now I'm realizing, this probably wasn't the best topic for my essay! (tearing up his paper)
Mr. Bannister: What's this supposed to be?
Randy: Uh, my commentary on the fleeting nature of summer?
Mr. Bannister: Mmm... excellent use of metaphor!
Randy: Aced it!
Mr. Bannister: I'll give you a B.
Randy: B-ced it!
🔑The hallway.🔑
Bucky: (Running away) Go away, Bash! I don't want a wedgie!
Bash:(Swinging Bucky's underwear) I already gave you a wedgie! I just wanna give you your change!
Howard: Can we talk about this Ninja situation?
You: (nods putting hands in baggy jeans) Yeah man, I wanna learn more ninja stuff.
Randy: Uh, Ninja situation – there is no Ninja situation!
In the background behind the following, Bucky is uttering cries of distress, as Bash chases him, repeatedly shouting, "Come on!"
Howard: Exactly! The 'No Ninja' situation! We've been in Norrisville High for two days, and we haven't seen this guy once!
Randy: I think he has to wait for, like, a monster... or a robot to attack.
You crossed your arms with narrowed eyes as Randy looks away from your intense stare.
Howard: Why aren't you madder about this? We are his number one fans!
You: Yeah man! (Pouts hitting Randy's arm)
Randy: ow! (Rubs arm as he flicks your forehead in response) I mean, it's not like he can just smoke bomb on by for a meet 'n' greet. Or...can he?
You: [blank look] Can he.
✨Cut to McFist Industries.⭐️
The Sorcerer: You assured me you would destroy the Ninja!
Hannibal McFist: But I haven't seen him all summer! Have you seen him, Viceroy?
Viceroy: I haven't seen him! Then again, he is a ninja, so stealth is kinda his dealio.
McFist: We have a plan. The second he pokes his little Ninja head out of his little Ninja hidey-hole, bam! Destroyed!
The Sorcerer (growling): Do – Not – Fail – Me!
(The Sorcerer vanishes. McFist's office phone rings, and Viceroy and Hannibal yelp.)
Female Receptionist (on the phone): Mr. McFist, your wife is on the line.
McFist: (struggling to pick up the phone, eventually doing so, taking a deep breath): Hey, Sugar Face! I'm a teensy bit busy here! Of course! I'll meet you there, Honey Cakes! (grunting repeatedly, as he slams down the phone's receiver)
Mcfist: Yeh! Yeh Yeh Yeh! Yeh! How am I supposed to run an evil empire, when my stepson keeps getting in trouble at school?
Viceroy: Kids...
McFist: Just get down to your lab and build me something deadly – something dangerous – something with a cup holder! (His robot arm spasm out of control and smashes his coffee cup, splattering him with coffee.) You know what? Forget the cup holder. Just make it deadly.
Viceroy (crossing "cupholder" off a checklist): Mm-hm...
⭐️At The cafeteria.⭐️
Howard: (humming as he finishes his food, and looking greedily at yours and Randy's then saying rather quietly) (L/N)—
You: no. [serious blank face as you stab your food with a plastic fork]
Howard: Cunningham, I know you're in the can, but if you don't want me to eat your tater lumps, just say so!
Randy: (as The Ninja) Smoke bomb! Hello, students! 'T is I, the Ninjaaaaaaaaaaaa! (The students shout acclaims.)
Howard: Yes! Finally! Nin-ja! (yelling to the bathroom) Hey, cork it, Cunningham, the Ninja just showed up!
You: Ran! Get ya stinky butt out here man!! (Smiles excitedly as your bunny hat ears flop up and down)
‼️At Slimovitz's office.‼️
Slimovitz: (to Hannibal, Marcy, and Bash, while typing at his laptop) In these two days of school alone, Bash has given sixty-six wedgies, thirty-two swirlies, and a Chattanooga Gravy Bowl.
McFist (bored): Is that even a real thing?
(Slimovitz shows Hannibal and Marcy his laptop, causing both to shriek in shock.)
Marcy: Potatoes...?
Bash (exulting): Oh, yeah!
Marcy: Oh, Principal Slimovitz, I just don't believe my little Bashford would ever do anything like that!
Bash: Yeah, Ma, he's framin' me! (He points at Slimovitz, revealing Bucky's underwear dangling from his wrist. He grunts as he notices and as he quickly hides it.)
Nameless Girl with Big Eyelashes: (as she and several other students run past Slimovitz's office) The Ninja's in the Cafeteria! (The students shout excitedly and variously, "Stay and wait until I get there," etc.)
Slimovitz: Oooh, the Ninja! (To Hannibal and Marcy) What say we take a fiver? (He runs out of the office.)
Bash: (also running out of the office) I'm excaping! [sic]
Marcy (to Hannibal): Oh, go on! If you don't destroy the Ninja now, it's all you'll talk about on the ride home.
McFist (shouting happily at Marcy): You know what? YOU'RE THE BEST! (kissing her heartily) Mmm-WAHH!
🛏️Cutting rapidly back and forth between Viceroy at McFist Industries and Hannibal McFist in the school hallway outside the Cafeteria, where the Ninja is holding forth.🛏️
(Viceroy's cellphone rings. Viceroy sighs.)
Viceroy: McFist Industries, evil genius Viceroy speakin'...
McFist: The Ninja's at the school right now! Release the... the thing!
Viceroy (annoyed): His name is "Krackenstein."
McFist: Release the KRACKENSTEIN! (Students glare at him.) Ooh...
(Viceroy shocks the Krackenstein to life with a taser, cackling.)
Viceroy: (to Krackenstein, dramatically) Go forth, my Krackenstein, and destroy the Ninja!
(Krackenstein roars.)
Viceroy (much more conversationally): Well, he's about yea-high, red scarf, black suit – mm, or maybe it's navy blue...
(Krackenstein roars, and bursts out through several walls.)
Viceroy (musingly): No, you're right — it – it is black. Heheh, you never wear red with navy blue.
🔑The cafeteria.🔑
Randy as The Ninja: (declaiming) Now, as a ninja, I must be prepared at any moment to do THIS – (punching the air) – and THIS – (kicking the air) – and how could I forget THIS? (kicking, and landing in a pose) Well, you've been great, everybody! See you next time! Remember to tip those lunch ladies! SMOKE BO–
You jumped on the ninja's back making Randy having to put his hands under your thighs.
You: Gotcha man!
Randy: (thoughts) I forgot that they can jump high with their bunny hops....
Howard: (grabbing the Ninja's leg and begging) No, wait, Ninja! My buddies and I have been dying to meet you since we were kids! Please, just, hang on, until he gets back?
You: (nodding as you place your head on ninja's shoulder) please man! Me and my buddy promised each other it take a picture with ya man!
Ninja (touched): Aw, that's really cool of you two. (speaking in a heroically deep voice) But I can't! I must go!
(Krackenstein bursts in through the wall of the cafeteria, roaring. The students scream.)
McFist: Yes! Destroy! DESTROY!
(Krackenstein continues roaring as the students scream.)
Ninja: Oh, my first monster fight! So honkin' cool! Ninja Flip! (landing in front of Krackenstein and addressing him) Monster, get ready to get – (Krackenstein punches him through a wall, where he eventually crashes into a row of lockers) – ooooaaaahhhhhh...
Howard: Eyysshhhh... (pulling out his cellphone and typing into it) "Cunningham, get back here. The Ninja's totally getting p'wnd."
You: (whips out phone texting Randy as well) "you owe me a whole bunch of sour candy"
🔑The hallway and stairwell.🔑
(Randy's cellphone rings for Howard's text.)
Ninja (reading the text): I wouldn't say I'm "getting p'wnd." (Reads your text) Aw man..good bye allowance money.. (sends back a heart)
(Krackenstein bursts through the hole in the wall, roaring.)
Ninja: (leaping up with a cry) Haaaaaaaaaaaaa! (Delivering a flying kick to Krackenstein, who collapses with a grunt, then rises, growling, and turns on the Ninja) Uh-oh. (Krackenstein punches him down the stairs to the basement.)
Ninja: Ohhhhhhaaaaohhhhhh! (Crying out as he thuds on various stairs on the way down, driving away a squeaking rat) Aaa! Ah-hnnn! A-hohh! What? A-hah! Hohhhhh! Oh, man, I am getting p'wnd. (Krackenstein bursts through the wall at the head of the stairs.) Ninja Sprint! (Sprinting into the bathroom as Krackenstein lands at the bottom of the stairs with a growl)
⭐️Cut to The basement bathroom.⭐️
Krackenstein bursts in through the wall of the bathroom, then methodically punches open four stalls, revealing the Ninja in the LAST STALL ON THE LEFT.
Ninja: (weakly defensive) I wasn't hiding from you – if that's what you think.
Krackenstein roars into the stall, slamming its door behind him. The sounds of shattering plumbing, pounding, and cries of distress, including a high, girlish shriek come from the stall. There is a clang of metal as a lead pipe is flung from the stall and hits the tile floor.
Ninja: (emerging from the stall with a grunt) Uhn. (The class bell rings.) Now what? (Seizing the lead pipe, and thrusting it into the handles of the stall holding Krackenstein and the stall adjoining, as Krackenstein roars hollowly within.)
⭐️Cut to A classroom.⭐️
Randy: (skidding into the classroom) Whaaaaa...! (Hitting the wall with a thud and the sound of falling books)
Howard: (indignantly, as Randy climbs panting into his seat): Where have you been? We were supposed to meet the Ninja together! Man, but between you, y/n and me, he was kiiind of stankin' it up out there.
You nodded making a hand gesture that it was stinking.
Randy: Come on, Howard! Y/N! I–ah, the Ninja was trying his best, okay? It's not like there are instructions for being the Ninja! (realizing) The instructions! (loudly and stiltedly, to the teacher) I NEED – TO USE – THE BATHROOM!
You: man he must have bad guts..
✨A suburban street.✨
Randy's Neighbor: (as Randy goes by on his bicycle, huffing and puffing) Heyah, Randy!
🔑Cut to Randy's room.🛏️
Randy: (still huffing and puffing and flinging books aside) The NinjaNomicon! Come on, baby; drop some secret ninja knowledge on me. (There are various whooshing sounds as Randy's consciousness is sucked inside the Nomicon.) Arwoooh! (The Norisu Nine symbol rotates, and waves collide with each other, coupled with several ninjas in black with kanji symbols and doodles in the background as the entrance spins)
‼️Cut to inside the Nomicon‼️
Randy: (grunting as he crashes into the "wall" inside the Nomicon, and hitting the "ground" with a thud): Uahhhnnn! ... (Reading the lesson from the Nomicon) 'Believe in the weapon that is in the suit?'
("Believe" is highlighted in green, "weapon" is encircled, and arrows all point to "suit.")
Randy: S' what's in the suit? (The doodles in the Nomicon all point to Randy.) I'M in the suit. I'M the weapon! I just have to believe in me! Boom! (There is a further whoosh as he exits the Nomicon.)
⭐️Cut to A suburban street again ⭐️
Randy's Neighbor: (as Randy goes by on his bicycle, huffing and puffing and ringing his bicycle bell) See ya, Randy!
The hallway.
Randy: (grunting as you trip him as he comes charging into the hall and grunting as he hits the ground thereafter): Hwah! Whah... oh hai...
Howard: Hey, perfect, you're back! I got some great news.
You: sup man (toothy sarcastic grin)
Randy: Sorry, [N/N] Howard, but I have to, um...
Howard: No! No! You are going to stick around for this. (as other students converse indistinctly while walking past in the background) Yeah, turns out the Ninja couldn't beat that monster, so he just locked it in a basement stall...so I let it out.
Randy: You did WHAT?
You: he let go of the monster so you can witness the ninja with us man! (Eyes light up as you grab Randy's hand) ain't you excited man?!
Randy: (held your hand for a second as he lets it go looking shocked)
Howard: T'yeah. Now the Ninja's gotta come back, and we can see him in action, together. (There is a crash, as the front half of Principal Slimovitz's car is hurled through the wall, revealing Krackenstein roaring as he rampages outside.) You wanna pay me now, or later (trailing off) I'dunno how should we do this...
✨Outside the school.✨
McFist (bursting out through the exit doors): Where the heck is "What's-His-Crack?" (as Krackenstein roars and flings the back half of Slimovitz's car away) There he is!
Slimovitz: MY CAR!
Howard: (as debris crashes into the ground in front of him, you, and Randy) Ninja action, courtesy of moi. Who's the best friends ever? (leaping up to do a chest-bump, only to realize Randy isn't there) Hyeaah-huhh? Are you kidding me?!
You: (turns to face where Randy was as you pull your bunny hat down to your face irritated) UGH!
Ninja (as Krackenstein roars and flings objects around): Smoke-bomb! Hyuh! Haaaaaa!
Students (chanting, as Krackenstein growls): Ninja! Ninja! Ninja! Ninja!
Ninja: (muttering to himself) I believe in me. I believe in me. I believe in me kicking your butt. (Randy does a universal gesture of "come at me," while Krackenstein's three pairs of hands come together in three dull thuds. The Ninja utters various grunts and cries as he attacks Krackenstein, who growls throughout.)
Ninja: Huhhh-yah! Uuh-uh! Hyeh! Aaah! (Krackenstein's feet thud loudly as he charges the Ninja.) Ninja Block! Ninja Block! Ninja Block! Ninja Block! Ninja Block! Annnnnd Ninja Block! Eeaah! (Krackenstein falls to the ground with a final thud as the Ninja delivers a stunning flip-kick. The students cheer and whoop, and begin to chant, "Ninja! Ninja! Ninja! Ninja!")
Ninja: Who's gettin' pwned now? (The Ninja waves a peace sign in victory in coordination with the student chants.)
(Krackenstein's head rattles as he grunts, readjust his metal jaw, and shifts it's head back into place. With a soft squelch, an arm bursts out of his chest, and decks the Ninja with a boom pinning him on the floor.)
Ninja: WHAT?!
McFist (exulting): Secret arm! That is so Viceroy!
(Krackenstein strikes the ground by the Ninja's head with a loud klank.)
Ninja: (as he pats himself all over) I don't get it. I'm believing. What else could be in the suit? (Krackenstein strikes the ground on the other side of the Ninja's head with a wham. The Ninja draws a katana from his suit with a metallic Shang. Various blooping sounds emphasize the Ninja Doodles.) Ahhhh! Believe in the weapon that is in the suit. (He shears off Krackenstein's hand with a metallic slicing sound.)
Ninja:
That makes way more sense. Ehhyaaaahhh! (The Ninja thuds feet-first into Krackenstein's chest; Krackenstein ploughs backward over the grass, growling. The Ninja's katana rings as he brandishes it.) Let's do this. (Again there is a series of thuds as Krackenstein charges, growling.) Uhheeaaaahhhhh!
The katana whirls and the Ninja makes odd cutting noises as he hacks at Krackenstein.
Ninja: Jub-jub-jub-jub-jub-jub! Haa-aaah? (Krackenstein screeches to a halt; his body parts fall off in a series of squeaks and pops, and final soft expiring whir. A student audibly retches and runs off.)
McFist (in dismay and disbelief): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... (noticing that the students are glaring at him, and altering his tone to a suspiciously overdone heartiness) way, dude!
(The students' expressions alter audibly.)
McFist: That was aweso-ome, ha. (Mcfist walks off in disappointment.)
Students (chanting): Smoke-bomb! Smoke-bomb! Smoke-bomb! Smoke-bomb!
Ninja (throwing one down with an explosion): Smoke-bomb!
🛏️Outside the school, later.🛏️
Randy (greeting Howard casually): Hey, [N/N]! Hey Howard!
You scoffed looking away from Randy as Randy frowns at you.
Howard (peeved): Huh, 'dja think we're some sort of chowder-head?
You cracked your knuckles with your hand.
Randy: I... don't know how to answer that. (Stares nervously at you as you seemed angry)
Howard (accusingly): We know what you've been up to.
Randy: You do?
You: Yeah. First, you're gone, Ninja's here...and then, he's gone, and then you're here. We knooowww your secret, man.
Randy: [N/N], listen, I wanted to tell you...
Howard: Well, it's too late now! Yeah, we figured it all out ... With My Mind!
You: Surprisingly with his mind! [points to Howard with your hand on your hip]
Randy: This is such a relief! It's been killing me that I couldn't tell you.
Howard: (as Randy transforms into the Ninja amidst the whirling of magical sigils): I mean, sneaking off so you can have the bathroom all to yourself because the Ninja shows up...
Howard: (gasping with you, as the Ninja's scarf snaps loudly at the completed transformation) Wait, you're the Ninja? MY BEST FRIEND'S THE NINJA! Oh, this is incredible! I'm gonna tell everyone.
You: I'll get the money booth ready for the plan!! (You turned ready to bounce but ready pulls you back by your bunny hat)
Randy: You can't tell anyone.
Howard (miffed): Well, that stinks...
You: for real man. Not so Bruce...not Bruce at all...
Randy: No, Howard, Y/N, this stinks... (throwing down a smoke-bomb, which explodes loudly and expansively, covering the whole screen) Smoke-bomb!
Howard (coughing): Oh... oh, man... these things smell like fart.
You: (covering nose and coughing) I'm so gonna faint from this smell..
Randy: You get used to it. You'd be surprised; you start liking it.
You punch Randy's arm.
Randy: ow!
——————————————————
🔑THE END🔑