Hayat Azhar
My head emptied. My breathing stilled. I couldn't move, shock tightening around my throat and rendering me immobile.
A splitting noise overtook my hearing sense as I gawked at Zohaib sitting right in front of me, drinking water.
Who was...
But then upstairs?
Panic filled my nerves and I fought the urge to collapse, feeling my heart thundering against my ribcage.
It wasn't him. It wasn't Zohaib. His brown shawl, his scented cologne—none of it was his.
Sensing eyes on him, Zohaib turned to the stairs and his gaze caught me.
He rose to his feet, a cheeky grin playing across his mouth.
"Hello." He raised a hand in greeting as he approached me. His voice echoed somewhere in the back of my mind and I absently stared at him, my stomach twisting.
Zohaib's eyebrow curved upward when I didn't reply. "You okay? Are you not happy to see me?"
My ears were still ringing and I couldn't bring my vision to focus. His grin abruptly faded, concealing his teeth.
"That's...a nice ring."
My head jolted to the side and I noticed my left hand plastered against the wall—a beautiful ring around my finger; a ring that wasn't what Zohaib had given me on our engagement.
Blood rushed to my head and a startled prickle clouded my senses. I swallowed hard, feeling my mouth going dry.
The smile lines around his mouth vanished completely as he leaned forward to examine my finger.
"It's..." I struggled to form a coherent reply, my heart pounding violently like I had indeed committed a crime. "This isn't my ring."
I ripped my hand off the wall and Zohaib's eyes followed it all the way until I fisted it into a tight ball.
"I mean, it's my friend's. I wanted to try it and forgot to return it to her." I managed to say, a tremor seeping into my voice. I tugged at the golden band to take it off, but it didn't budge.
Zohaib gave me a slow nod, an unfamiliar emotion filling his eyes. "I stumbled across a similar article when I went shopping for our rings but it was slightly out of my budget. Looks like this one is also custom made."
My breathing hitched, only then noticing a prominent engraving across the ring that glinted under the slightly yellow lighting in our patio.
H - S.
Not wasting another moment, I folded my arms to hide my hand away from Zohaib's skeptical gaze. "Oh, yeah. She's engaged but I didn't know this was a couple's ring. Gosh, now I feel guilty for not returning it earlier."
"Is that the only thing you're guilty about?" Zohaib asked in a grave tone, his eyes boring into mine, searching them for something.
My lips parted. "What?"
"You kept us waiting," he blurted, pulling his face away from me. "Let's go join the others."
He closed his eyes and breathed deeply before opening them again and walked back to his seat. I remained in my place, not understanding how to react.
A part of me suddenly wanted to yell and tell everyone what went down upstairs a few minutes ago. But I realized I'd look like a lunatic and nobody would believe a word.
So instead, I forced a strained smile on my face and followed after Zohaib.
But an unsettling pressure pressed down my chest the whole time. Something had changed and Zohaib went quiet, even the others noticed the alteration in his behavior.
'He didn't know.' I told myself. 'He didn't know the truth about this ring; he wasn't upset because of me.'
Zohaib eventually excused himself to attend a call outside and his mother let out a laugh, shaking her head.
"You see this, Saima?" she referred to my mother. "I told you he's become too upset. We have waited long enough. You're going to have to give us our Hayat before my son gets any more upset and penalize us all."
My mother casted her an obliging smile. "Of course, Hayat is yours as much as she is mine..."
Her voice became a distant buzz as I stared at the hidden ring on my finger, getting lost in my thoughts.
Shazain Sardar was actually here a few minutes ago. He was inside my room. How was I ever going to tell that to anyone?
It was like being reminded of his power again. The way he knew which type of shawl Zohaib owned, what perfume he used, how he could conceal himself in the dark shadows and I wouldn't suspect him; was he the reason why the lights went out in the first place?
And he simply gave me this ring before leaving.
My eyes darted to the dark roof and I swallowed. Was he really gone?
What if someone had seen him? How could he come here? He was surely on a self-destruction mission and he wanted to drag me down with him.
"Twenty-third of next month sounds perfect. Don't you agree, Hayat?" Aunty Uzma nudged me and I blinked my eyes at her, confused.
She snickered at my bewildered expression. "She's too shy. Don't worry, beta. You don't have to say anything, I understand your silence. After all, good daughters don't object to what their elders say."
I had no idea what she was talking about. My mind couldn't soak her words in. Despite being with them, I wasn't there.
That was why only when Zohaib and his mother left and I'd had enough time to recover, I realized I was getting married next month.
Like actual marriage.
I closed my eyes, exhaling a long breath through my nose.
I didn't know what to feel. When father was alive, he told me I'd get married after getting my degree and I'd argue with him to marry me off as soon as possible.
And now that I was indeed getting married soon...
A lot of things were going on in my life at the moment, I couldn't quite decide what to focus on or fret over.
Is this not what I wanted? What did my heart truly yearn for anyway?
No.
This was exactly what I ultimately hoped for from the start. This marriage was one of the biggest dreams of my life. I could not allow some random person to make me doubt my decision now.
Nothing, and nobody, had the permission to do that.
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"I knew it! I knew he wasn't really bad."
My eyebrows snapped together in offense. "Are you supporting criminals now?"
Rabail held her finger up. "I think a better term would be vigilante. You know, a member of a self-appointed group of citizens who try to unofficially take the law in their hands because the legal agencies are thought to not be doing their jobs right."
I scowled at my friend. "That still doesn't make any of this right."
"Maybe not." She shrugged. "But I liked Robin Hood growing up so I know a thing or two about bandits with hearts of gold and I think they're justified in their actions if they're not harming the innocent."
I couldn't believe her. How could she sound so supportive? I might have convinced myself to trust his words, but that was because I had to calm my heart. What I wanted was for Rabail to convince me to not trust him.
"Are you really taking his side?" I asked incredulously. "The only reason I told you about this whole situation and the phone call is because I wanted you to tell me he was a liar and I should do something to get rid of him."
"But it makes sense if you think about it, Hayat." she stressed, looking into my eyes. "Despite the power he clearly has, he's never abused it to get anything from you. Even now he didn't force you to break your engagement, he doesn't want any blame on you. You hate him so you're biased, that's one thing. But I don't believe he's a bad person anymore."
"So in short," I arched my eyebrows, feeling my face contorting in fury. "He's a good person and I should leave Zohaib and accept him?"
"I didn't say that!" she instantly shot down my verdict before sighing in exaggeration. "Look, all I mean is that maybe you shouldn't overthink and worry yourself too much because he's not going to harm you."
I frowned, glancing away. "Just because he hasn't harmed me yet doesn't guarantee he won't in the future," I mumbled, recalling his daunting words from earlier that sounded more like a promise than a threat.
We both fell quiet after this, the chatter of the students overpowering our silence. Rabail shuffled the flyers in her grip. "Can you believe how fast the semester went by? It feels like we started yesterday."
Inevitably, a smile brushed my lips when I realized she was trying to divert my attention. I gave her a small nod. "Yup, and now we're having our finals soon."
"What happened to your finger?"
Her question piqued my curiosity and I noticed her staring on my left hand.
That stupid ring wasn't coming off. Although it might be a stretch, I couldn't help but think Shazain knew my ring size and deliberately got a size smaller so I couldn't take it off.
Little did he know, I was ready to break my finger if it meant getting rid of that stupid thing.
"Nothing. I bruised it a bit." I brushed her concern off and she threw me a baffled look.
"Bruised it a bit? Girl, look at that swelling. You might have broken a bone. Have it examined or something," she raved at me and I nibbled on the inside of my cheek, giving her another nod.
In the next second, a smile replaced the frown on her lips and she waved some students over. "Excuse me! Please take a look at this, the English department is arranging a fundraiser, we'd love your support."
She handed out two flyers from her stack before turning to search for more people. My eyes nonchalantly followed the two students who'd taken the flyers from Rabail and a gasp almost slipped out of my mouth when both of them dumped the paper into a bin around the corner.
Yikes. I hope she doesn't have to witness that.
"Ugh! It's because I'm a first semester student, those seniors tasked me with handing out these stupid flyers because they knew nobody would be interested." Rabail whined in defeat when a group of students ignored her despite her begging.
I guess I wasn't the only person struggling in this world; everyone had one thing or another to worry about.
Passing her a smile, I stuck my palm out. "Give me some of these, I'll help."
"Thank you so much!" The instant look of relief that flashed on her face was enough to indicate how much she was struggling. "Feels like I'm selling my self-respect begging people to take a copy," she muttered sourly, distributing half of them to me.
As we stood in the corner, calling people over, Rabail's gaze wandered around the campus before stopping at a certain spot. "You know, the only bad thing about this semester ending is that I'll actually miss seeing some of our seniors."
I glanced over my shoulder in query and my face dropped. I turned back to her. "Who exactly are you referring to?"
She shot me a knowing look. "You can't deny that no matter how he is as a person, there's not a single guy in our university that comes close to Sage. I can't explain it but something's changed about him, he seems different now; and more attractive too."
My eyes drifted to the group once again and found him standing in the distance, his hair tousled to the side and a few strands obscuring his colorful irises.
I hadn't been seeing him much after that day in the parking lot. I only saw him at the restaurant and even back then, he didn't react the way I expected him to.
I turned back to Rabail and scowled. "Looks aren't everything. You know his personality is trash."
"And yet, he's got more fans than haters. Everyone loves him, he's just popular like that," she remarked. Her eyes suddenly widened and she latched onto my shoulders, frightening me.
"Sage might be able to help you with Shazain."
"What?" I spluttered. "Are you crazy? We don't get along at all. He hates me."
"But think about it," she prodded. "If you can somehow convince him to help you, you're not gonna have to worry about Shazain anymore. It's not everyday you get to meet influential people like Sage. His family's power is beyond our minds. Even a notorious criminal like Shazain is nothing in front of them. Trust me on this one."
As absurd as Rabail's idea was, it made me think.
Can I involve the Malik family in this?
What if I asked dadi for help?
No. I could never ask for such a favor, and definitely not from dadi. I didn't want her to think weirdly of me.
But I didn't care what Sameer thought about me. Would it be a good idea to try getting him to help me?
"Excuse me! The English department is hosting a fundraiser. Please show us your support." Rabail waved to yet another person and I jerked out of my thoughts.
"There's no way, Rabail. Forget it." I snarled at her. "I'm not asking Sage or Sameer Malik or whatever for favors. That mannerless brat isn't worth it."
Rabail's jaw dropped in horror at my words and she looked like she'd been stabbed. I passed her a puzzled look.
"What are you doing?"
My voice trailed off when I felt a presence behind and casually glanced over my shoulder; only to have the flyers almost flying out of my grip when I realized who Rabail had called over.
My eyes locked with a pair of familiar sage-colored ones. His face was set in a hard expression, accentuating his sharp features, and his strong cologne attacked my nose.
"What did you just say?" His bitter voice pierced my ears and my heart started to race.
"Nothing." I blurted, my body going stiff.
"Oh?" Sameer arched a brow. "I must be so full of myself, I think the world revolves around me, correct?" He repeated my words from the other day and I gritted my teeth at the taunt underlying his comment.
"Actually, I said you were a mannerless brat. Is that better now?" I let out in a rush, my breathing elevated.
From my peripheral vision, I saw Rabail gasp to herself before she threw me warning glares; which I couldn't focus on because his cold eyes had me caged in place.
For some reason, my words didn't have any outrageous affect on him, if anything he seemed unbothered by whatever I was saying.
My heart had started to beat in my chest anxiously, waiting for the moment when he'd finally snap and I'd end up crying in my room because of how cruel and inconsiderate he was.
But that moment never came.
His eyelids drooped. "And you claim not to be obsessed with me. Yet you can't stop talking about me, weird."
If there was one thing I hated with a burning passion that it blocked my senses, it was being accused of something false; something like this.
His remark fused rage into my veins and I shot a fiery glare in his direction. "Sorry, your face just flashes in front of my eyes whenever I think of unpleasant things."
Maybe I shouldn't have said that.
"But we weren't talking about unpleasant things!" Rabail screeched, her panicked gaze darting to Sameer who clenched his jaw before relaxing his face.
He tilted his head to the side. "So I'm often on your mind? How cute."
What the hell?
When he shifted in his position, I flinched, fully expecting to be attacked by the barbaric kitten.
But he merely brought his face slightly closer to mine and looked me right in the eye. "You know what isn't cute though? The reckless words that come out of your mouth."
My glare froze and I felt the color draining from my face. The meaning behind his words registered in my mind too quickly for my liking and I knew he hadn't let go of what I said to him that day.
How could he? I was in the wrong.
His eyes drifted to the flyers gripped between my hands and finally, all traces of composure vanished from his face. His expression hardened and he looked back up, his gaze ominous, before he ripped a flyer out of my clutch.
Not breaking our eye contact, he spoke to Rabail. "I'll take care of the patrons for your fundraiser. Consider it an act of my kindness."
He glanced at her and added, "for your friend."
And then he turned back around and walked away, causing me to let go of the breath I was holding.
"What. Just. Happened?" Rabail worded out, sounding as confused and shaken up as me.
"What the hell, Rabail?" My voice sounded shrill as my tough front crumpled. "Are you crazy?! Why'd you call Sage over?"
"I didn't know he'd actually come. Other people ignored me." She erupted, flinging her arms up. "But what was this about? Instead of threatening to have us expelled, he offered help?"
"Shut up." I jabbed my finger at her. "I could've been torn to shreds right about now."
"That's what I'm saying." She exclaimed. "What's up with this change in behavior? How did he let you off with insulting him? Because nobody would be standing in one piece after disrespecting Sage like this. Did something happen between you two? Are you friends or what?"
"Does it seem like we're friends?" I retorted angrily. But in reality, I too was taken aback with what had happened. What was going on with him?
The Sameer Malik I got to know first and the Sameer Malik I had been seeing nowadays felt like two different people.
Why was he being unpredictable?
"No, definitely not friends." Rabail shook her head, a contemplative look falling into her eyes. "But he might actually help you out now. Try talking to him."
I crossed my arms. "That's not an option."
"It's either that or coming clean to Zohaib."
I stared at her. "What?"
"Tell him the truth," she emphasized. "But will he believe that there's a man, a wanted man no less, who's head over heels obsessed with you even though you had no part in it? Sounds absurd. You'll end up looking unfaithful."
My eyes narrowed at her assumption. "Zohaib will believe me." I asserted in finality. "But that doesn't mean I'll tell him anything. I can't take risks and endanger his life."
Rabail seemed frustrated with my answer. "You don't want to follow any of my suggestions. So what exactly do you plan on doing?"
I hesitated, fidgeting with the hem of my shawl. "You said Shazain will not harm me. So I'll just marry Zohaib."
She shook her head. "Harmed or unharmed, I'm sure marrying another man isn't included in the list of things you can easily do with our current circumstances."
I fisted my palms, frustrated. What was I supposed to do then? What option did I even have to secure everything? I didn't want to lose the things or the people that I held dear.
After raking my brain for a long time, I shifted my gaze back towards Rabail, my insides clenching in unease. "Fine, if it feels like things are getting worse and out of control, I'll consider asking for Sameer's help."
But the question was, would he really help me or use this information against me?
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A/N: No intense cliffhanger because I'll be on hiatus for the month of Ramadan. Let's make the most of this month by minimizing our screen-time and maximizing dhikr of every kind.
May this month bring relief, freedom and happiness to the heartbroken, destitute and the oppressed. Keep the world and our Muslim family in your prayers.
Ramadan Mubarak.