Please don't ever become a stranger (hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you)
Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere (hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you)
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Skeppy's POV
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I sit on the cold tiled floor of my kitchen. It's dark. Everything feels dark. I know it's New Year's Eve, but I just can't help but feel so alone.
I don't really know how I got here. I specifically made plans months ago just so this wouldn't happen. A couple of friends and I were supposed to go to a party today.
I, of course, agreed to the festivity when they brought it up. No questions asked, just an, "I'll be there." No checking my calendar to see if I had other things planned. No seeing if I had room in my schedule. A quick, on the spot answer. An agreement.
Nothing happened to me. I could've gone. In fact, I was and still am all ready to go. Shoes on, keys in hand, and even an unlocked apartment door.
So I have absolutely no reason to still be sitting on this dark floor, feeling unhappy. My day was perfectly fine. I started it off by going out for breakfast, then I uploaded a video on my second channel and recorded a new one on my server. I even went to the gym after lunch.
I hear a buzz coming from my phone. The screen lights up and I see a message from someone. Assuming it's one of my friends who's going to the party, I reluctantly pick up the device. I sigh before taking a glance at what the notification might be.
BadBoyHalo. Not the first person I thought it would be, but not the last person either. I relax when I realize it's him. Talking with him isn't as complicated as whatever this other situation is.
I open up my phone and click on the message from him. He's just asking how I am.
I respond with a dry, "good" before slowly standing up and pushing the phone into my pocket. Once I'm up, I trudge over to the fridge and open it. Taking some milk, I open the cabinet above me and grab a glass.
I pour the milk into the glass and set the carton on the counter. I take a few cookies out of my cupboard and unlock my phone again to see if Bad texted me back. He did.
Before I get a chance to see what he said, my phone starts ringing and he's suddenly calling me. No. He's FaceTiming me.
I panic, almost dropping the cookies. I know I'm all ready to go, but I still feel like I'm not presentable enough to FaceTime anyone. Especially Bad.
Whatever. I run my hands through my hair before pressing the "accept call" button. I'm joined by a black screen.
"Bad?" I say, visibly confused as to why he's even FaceTimed me in the first place. I know my best friend, he doesn't particularly like showing his face. FaceTiming is the last thing he would choose to do.
"Hi! Happy New Year's Eve," Bad starts, as if nothing is out of the usual. He props his phone up on his desk and smiles at me.
"Why are you calling me so late? Don't you have plans?" I ask, it coming out meaner than I initially planned. He looks at me with a saddened expression. A small wave of guilt falls over me as I realize he could take that in a mean way.
"..not in a mean way! I'm sorry if that came out wrong." I say before he gets a chance to respond. His face changes, as if he was relieved by the clarification.
"I just finished streaming, and I don't usually do anything special for New Year's, you muffin. I thought you would be doing something? You talk about going to the club for holidays like this all the time." He finishes. I look at him with a fake-annoyed face and playfully role my eyes, taking a bite of the cookie in my hand.
"You make it sound like I'm an alcoholic who's addicted to partying!"
"I never said that! You know what, maybe you are" he laughs. I can't help but look at him as he smiles.
"Yeah, whatever BadBoy," I start, laughing as well. "you get drunk on stream all the time!" I take a sip of the milk I poured just a little earlier.
He scoffs. "I do not! Take that back, Sgeppy," He says. I honestly don't even think he realizes he's saying my name wrong. It's become a habit at this point. I put the glass back on the table.
The call grows silent. It's a little awkward as I try to come up with something to say. Before I can come up with something, I glance at my phone and Bad is staring at me.
Not in a weird way! He's just, well, looking at me. My face changes expressions as I smile at him, showing that I caught him staring at me.
His eyes widen. I see his face grow a dusty shade of pink before he makes a goofy smile back.
I don't feel alone anymore. Bad became this sense of companionship that I needed. I want to thank him, but I feel weird telling him about the plans I purposefully missed.
"Badddddd," I start, dragging out the "d" as far as I can. He fixes his glasses and waits for me to finish. I take another bite of my cookie.
"Hi, Skeppyyyyy" He replies, dragging out the "y" as much as I dragged out the "d". It's cute, how he mimics my wordplay.
I move my phone and point it up so he can only see half of my face.
I smile at the thought. "Can you believe it's almost 2024? We've known eachother forever!" I state, almost giggling.
He looks down at his lap before creating eye contact with me, laughing. "Not forever, muffinhead. And no, I seriously can't believe it." He says. There's a weird sound to his voice, almost as if he wanted to add something else to the end of that sentence, but stopped himself.
I furrow my eyebrows and tilt my head. "I'm happy that we've stayed friends all these years." I smile lightly.
His face softens. "Me too, thank you, Skeppy." My face goes red as I think.
He has no reason to be thanking me, he's the one that's been here for me throughout everything. I was literally pouting on the kitchen floor and his notification was the thing that sort of "saved" me, I guess. It feels like I haven't remotely done something like that to help him.
"Hellooo? Earth to Skgeppy," Bad says playfully. I hadn't even realized I was lost in my thoughts before his voice brought me out.
"Yeah?"
Bad changes the subject before I can speak my thoughts to him. "Do you usually stay up? Or do you go to sleep before 12 AM?" He asks.
"I usually stay up that late anyway, and Tampa has crazy fireworks which makes it hard for me to usually even get to sleep at all," I say. "what about you? Do you stay up?" I ask, genuinely interested. I always liked learning stuff about Bad.
I walk to my office and sit down on my desk chair before propping my phone up against my monitor. "Yeah, I do too," he starts.
I focus my eyes on my screen, checking out his face before any other words can be exchanged between us. An idea pops into my head, and I linger on it.
What if Bad stayed up with me? What if we stayed on call together when the clock hit 12:00?
Bad would be the first person I would talk to this coming year. He'd be the first person to be in this new year with me. The first memory I will make in 2024.
And that's when it hit me. The first.
Bad has always been the first. The first person I tell anything about. The first person I talk to when I wake up. The last person I talk to when I go to sleep. The first, if not only, person on my mind.
Nothing has ever clicked so fast. Nothing has ever made this much sense. No one has made this much sense. No one except BadBoyHalo.
He's always been the person. The person I stay with when it's hard, or when it's wrong, or when I'm making mistakes.
I look at him. His head is pointed down. "Bad," I say. "I have a question,"
"What's your question?" He moves his head upwards so that he's looking at me, and has a soft smile on his lips.
I can't take my eyes off of him. I have never truly realized how pretty he is.
Well, that last part is a lie. I think about Bad's looks, and just him in general, a lot. I sporadically tell him he's pretty. But I don't think he's ever took it seriously, the way I mean it.
His features are perfectly outlined. Everything about him stands out.
"Will you- okay, this is a dumb question," I start, and realize how embarrassing I sound. My face flushes red as I look up at the ceiling and try to focus on anything but him.
"will you stay up with me?" I say the last part fast, almost hoping he didn't hear it.
I look back and bring my gaze to my phone where I notice Bad with a huge grin. "Of course I will Skeppy! That's not a dumb question. It already is almost time anyways!" His voice is laced with a cheery tone.
I smile. Hard. And look at the top left corner of my screen to see that it is 11:42 PM. Exactly 18 minutes before 2024.
"Tell me about your day, I wanna hear you talk." I say to Bad. I really, really want to hear his voice. I want to hear him talk about literally anything.
Bad's face lights up as he starts talking about the last 10 hours of his life. I lean back in my chair and run a hand through my hair, paying close attention to everything that my friend is saying.
He stops at some parts to add an explanation, make a stupid joke, and even ask me a "do you know what I mean?" I nod my head, really getting into the story. I could listen to his rambling all day.
He laughs. My chest feels warm. I could recognize his laugh anywhere.
Bad finishes telling me about his day and asks me about mine. I tell him and then we just fall into a regular conversation.
"11:56," I start.
"4 minutes! Already?" Bad says, getting excited.
"Should I get the stopwatch up? Y'know, the thing they always have on the news or whatever?" I ask. Before he answers, I sign into my desktop and look it up.
"I have to tell you something" I hear Bad say.
I quickly stop typing and look at my phone screen, anticipating the worst. I know he wasn't going to tell me anything bad, but I still worry.
"What is it? Is it bad? Did I do something? Are you mad at m-"
"Skeppy, calm down. It's nothing bad. I just," he hesitates. "I just feel like I need to tell you, with the new year starting and all."
"You know you can tell me anything. Go ahead," I smile, still worried that it possibly could be something upsetting.
Bad takes a deep breath before deciding how to put together his scrambled thoughts into words. I sit in my chair patiently, waiting for any sort of response.
"I want you to know how much you've helped me this year, Skeppy. How much being your best friend has changed me. Like you said, we've been friends for a while, but this year has truly felt different," I can feel heat rising to my cheeks as I take in every word Bad is saying to me carefully.
"I feel like I've known you this past year more than any year ever. It probably has to do with the meet up, but I want you to know that I love you. I love you so much. You're an incredible person. Oh my goodness, I can't even put it into words.." His voice grows shaky and my heart is beating faster than it has ever.
"You're the reason I wake up every single day with a smile on my face. I just sort of feel like, well, happy with you." Butterflies collect in my stomach as I listen to his soft words.
"I'm grateful for our talks like this, Skeppy. I just, I want our midnights like this to continue in 2024." he finishes. Before I have a chance to react in any way, I notice the time. 11:59. I have one minute to get out everything I need to say.
"I love you, Bad. Seriously, I do. I understand what you're saying. This year has been incredible. I'm so lucky to have you by my side. I couldn't have gotten to where I am now without you. I hold onto the countless memories we have made..I just, thank you."
The call is silent as we process each other's words.
12:00.
"Happy new year, Bad," I whisper.
"Happy new year, Skeppy," He whispers back.
Blush joined with goofy smiles are coating both of our faces. In this moment, I realize, I've never felt more wanted. I feel completed. A part of me that has felt dark for a long time feels lit up.
It's almost as if he started my spark again.
Fireworks boom outside my apartment, the sky of Tampa lighting up beautifully. Reds, yellows, greens, and blues enveloping the sky.
I look into Bad's eyes as I share one last thought. A resolution, you might say.
"You are perfect."
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thank you for reading!!
word count : 2313
published 1/1/24