"She denies it.
But truth is, she's falling in love with him."
Arabella Karve
If I had a gun, I'd shoot myself in the fucking head.
"Your father said he is not sending for the doctor Arabella. He said you've always been difficult when it came to stomach issues. So calm down you just have a sto-" My fathers apprentice argues as he stands at the end of my bed.
And I'd first use the gun to shoot my fucking father and his stupid balding apprentice.
"I know I have a fucking stomach ache, but I need any drug that is going to help me keep down my fucking food" I sneer angrily while curling up into a tighter ball.
I'm going to fucking vomit.
"You act like puking is going to kill you."
I'm going to fucking kill you.
"I would rather fucking die then puke."
"You need to start acting like a lady Arabella Karve."
"If you don't have anything to help me, then get the fuck out of my room." I bite out angrily. The feeling of panic creeps into my stomach making it hurt even worse.
I can't fucking vomit.
My father's assistant sighs angrily, "bitch" he mumbles under his breath before storming out of my room.
A tear rolls down my cheek as my heart races in my chest from the feeling of bile sitting in my throat.
Of course I have the stupidest fucking phobia to ever walk the fucking planet.
My stomach aches again and I clench my eyes shut while grinding my teeth together.
I open my eyes and focus on the vintage dresser sitting on the opposite side of my room, trying to distract myself from the pain in my stomach.
I still remember all of the notes that he would leave me on my dresser. It was always the same type of card, with the same haunting cursive, attached to a red rose.
One of the last ones I received from him will forever be inscribed in my brain, like an aching reminder,
My rose,
You looked pretty tonight while you were asleep, you do every night. It's funny the way the world works. At first I just saw you as my key to the throne, my final challenge to see if I am worthy. But for some reason I can't help but not want to leave you alone. I'm going to have to take you one day. But for now, let's just enjoy our time together.
~Yours truly, Dominik Voklov
That note is one of the things that I think about late at night when laying down in the dark silence.
I am snapped out of my thoughts as my stomach turns again and I let out a pained whimper.
I tightly wrap my arms around my knees and pull them to my chest.
Maybe this is how I'm going out. It's about fucking time, I've been living this miserable life for too long anyways.
I hear the soft click of my door opening and I immediately look over as an immediate reaction.
The moment I look over I see Eros in all his glory, entering the room with a tense expression.
"Eros, I am going to cry" I say in a distraught tone, feeling the urge to vomit becoming more overwhelming.
"What's wrong Bella" Eros says, in almost a worried tone. He smoothly pulls the wooden chair sitting in the corner of my room and slides it next to my bed. He swiftly sits down and braces his forearms on my bed while intertwining his ringed fingers.
I turn on my side and stare softly at him while feeling nausea fill my body, "my stomach hurts and- I feel like I am going to vomit."
"Your phobia" He mumbles slightly focused, while lifting one of his muscular hands and gently placing the back of it on my forehead.
"Am I hot?" I whisper worriedly, wondering how sick I truly am.
Eros's red lips slightly begin to tug upwards before he suppresses it by pursing his lips, "yes."
He slowly removes his hand and places it back down next to me.
"Oh fuck" I say while closing my eyes and biting the inside of my cheek.
"Can you talk?" I desperately ask Eros, hoping he can distract me from the pain consuming my stomach.
"I have nothing to say."
"Yes you do."
"Bella, I am not going to talk when I don't want to" Eros grumbles irritably.
"Please, I just want a distraction."
Eros sighs deeply before I feel his warm finger softly brush back a piece of my hair that was covering the side of my face, "about what?"
"What were you doing before you were working for my family?" I say curiously.
"Bella, you don't want to hear about that."
"Yes I do" I argue while opening my eyes.
Eros sighs darkly again, "I was an assassin." He reluctantly says while looking at the wall behind me in an emotionless way.
My eyes slightly widen as I stare at him in shock, "I had no idea."
"I would rather you not" Eros answers while running one of his hands through his dark hair.
"No I want to know about you, I won't judge" I say quickly.
Eros's cold eyes slightly soften, "when I was sixteen, I was caught by a man stealing food. And instead of ruining my fucking life, he offered me a job" He clenches his jaw at the memory.
"I was an assassin for seven years" He says coldly while glancing back down at me.
I nod slowly, "I- how many people have you killed?" I ask carefully.
Hopefully the man sitting next to me has killed less than twenty people.
"I haven't counted" Eros rolls his eyes.
"Okay, under twenty?" I say unsurely, already knowing the answer.
Eros is hesitant before he slowly shakes his head.
"I figured, especially since you tried to drown me that one time" I say with a growing smile.
"Your an idiot" Eros rolls his eyes while brushing one of his fingers across my hand that is resting next to me.
I laugh softly at his irritation, but immediately regret it when I feel bile rise to my throat, "Eros I- I'm going to vomit."
"Breathe Arabella." Eros says calmly.
"I am panicking, my heart is beating really fast and-" I feel myself begin to hyperventilate from the fear of puking.
"Bella-" Eros begins, but is cut off by me throwing my legs over my bed and running across my room to my bathroom with my hand over my mouth.
I immediately fall to my knees in front of the toilet, and vomit profusely.
I wish I had that fucking gun.
Tears roll down my flushed cheeks as my hands tremble against the toilet seat.
The feeling of my body forcing food out of me is the worst fucking feeling ever.
I continue vomiting as I feel a warm hand gently pull back my dark hair while the other one soothing rubs my back.
"Shh you're okay" Eros's deep voice calms me as he carefully holds back my long hair.
My body slowly relaxes as the vomiting slowly begins to come to an end. I tiredly lean back from the toilet while Eros softly releases my hair.
He carefully leans forward and flushes the toilet. I struggle to keep my eyes open from the mental exhaustion of being sick, and the lack of sleep from the night before.
My heart skips a beat when I suddenly feel Eros wrap his strong, warm arms around my waist and pull me back against his solid chest. And I don't resist.
I slowly lay the back of my head against his chest, too tired to even care. He carefully rests his chin on top of my head as my eyes slowly close. One of his thumbs softly caresses my waist, causing small shivers to crawl up my spine.
I listen to the comforting sound of his heartbeat, while trying to match my breathing to his.
The feeling of safety washes over me, accompanied by his addicting smell and the feeling of his warm embrace.
I am half asleep when I feel Eros's warm lips softly kiss the top of my head. My heart stops at the feeling, making me wish I could feel his lips again.
My whole body warms at the small action, and suddenly my stomach doesn't hurt as bad.
***********************
I yawn tiredly as my eyes reluctantly open. I glance out of my arched window and now realize that it's completely dark outside. How long have I been asleep?
I look to the side and relief washes over me, seeing Eros gazing at me while sitting in the chair next to my bed.
"Have you been watching me sleep?" I ask with a tired voice. I glance down and smile softly as I now notice that Eros's warm hand is intertwined with mine.
"I was worried about you" He answer coldly, his deep voice like music to my ears.
"Never thought I'd hear that" I grin at him. Eros just hums in response, making no move to pull his hand away from mine.
"Thank you."
Eros stares at me with a slightly locked jaw, "don't thank me."
"I'm not going to do what you say."
"Ho pensato."
"Did you just call me a hoe?" I narrow my eyes at Eros.
Eros shrugs while a small, amused smirk grows on his face.
"I'm going to learn a different language and call you a cunt all the time."
"I'm worried."
I smile as we drift into a peaceful silence, enjoying the feeling of just being near each other.
How in the hell did I go from hating Eros Vandare with every bone in my body, to... this?
"Did you like being an assassin?" I ask a few moments later.
"No, I did things and saw things that will haunt me every day." Eros answers with a stone expression. His icy eyes looking almost clouded with the traumatic memories.
"Do you regret it?"
Eros thinks for a minute, "yes. It was my only option." He tightens his jaw, "I would have died from my life's conditions if I hadn't gotten involved with the mafia. But I should have let myself, I shouldn't have done the things I did."
I nod understandingly while slightly tightening my hand around his.
Why was Eros in that position at such a young age?
I go to ask the many questions I have, but don't want to make Eros uncomfortable so I reluctantly close my mouth.
"I have things I regret too" I admit.
"Mafia princess has regrets?" Eros says with a small irresistible smirk.
I can't help but immediately smile at him, "You're an asshole."
**************************
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Word count: 1805