Maya~
We ended up not going to dinner tonight. It wasn't going to happen. So we settled for sweatpants and take-out food.
He takes my empty container. "Thanks."
He nods. I stretch my legs out on the length of the couch. I watch him walk back to our room.
He's in there for a few minutes before coming back out. He lifts my feet, sitting in the spot they laid. He sets his laptop on my shins.
He's in between his phone and laptop for a few minutes. "So I could probably come back Tuesday night," he tells me.
"Probably?"
"Yeah. I don't know what I'll tell them but I'll figure it out."
"I'm going to have Bridget do a blood test for me on Monday. So if something changes, you don't have to come back."
He looks at me like I have two heads, "I'm coming back regardless."
"Okay."
"You can't get rid of me that easily."
He puts his laptop on the coffee table before laying with me. We struggle to get comfortable, "This isn't working."
"It'll work."
He rests a hand on my waist, his head on my arm and chest. This doesn't work for him since he's tall. It doesn't work for me because I'm being squished. He thinks we're comfortable when we're most definitely not comfortable.
Bridget hands me a paper as I sit at the desk. "What's this?"
"Results," she tells me.
"Did you look?"
"No."
She stands behind me as I open the folded paper. I look through all of my levels. 'HCG' catches my eye. I follow the row to see the value. It's higher than normal. I follow the paper down to the bottom.
Diagnosis: Pregnant
I cover my mouth as I'm shocked. I couldn't believe it. I mean, I can believe it but holy shit. This is actually happening. I sent a picture to Christian so he's in the loop of everything.
I fold the paper in half and sit back in my chair. Bridget comes around and squats in front of me. "Are you okay?"
I slowly nod, "Yeah. I'm taking it all in. I came to terms with it this weekend but I wasn't sure if it was actually going to happen."
She hugs me, "Why don't you take an early lunch and go call him?"
"Yeah, that would be great. Thank you."
I take my lunch out to my car. I set my car on the steering wheel, balancing it so it's straight. When Christian answers, he wants to see the paper.
"What are those numbers?"
"Just other levels in my blood. It's normal. They're not important."
"Are you okay?" he asks as I poke at my salad.
I nod, "Yeah. It's going to be fine. I'm going to talk to one of the OBs that comes down regularly and see if she's taking any new cases. I'm hoping to get scheduled for Wednesday."
I put the bowl on the passenger seat before lifting a leg to put on the seat. I smile and shake my head, "I can't believe this."
"I know."
This is insane. We're having a baby. I don't feel any fear as of right now but I'm sure it'll hit me at some point. I get to watch him be a dad. I was never sure we'd experience this together and I'm so glad we can.
"Dr. Frisco, wait up," I say as she leaves a room.
"Maya, you can call me Emily."
"Right."
She points to the elevator, "Can we walk and talk? I have a patient to see."
"Yeah, of course."
"What did you need?"
We step onto the elevator and shut the door, "I was wondering if you were taking any new cases as of lately."
"Yeah, I have about four open spots. Is this for a patient?"
"No- Well, uh-"
"Maya."
"It's for me," I admit, "I found out on Friday then had a blood test done today."
I take the folded paper out of my shirt pocket and show her. She nods as she looks through the paper, "Yeah, I can take you as a patient. Have you had anything else other than this?"
"No, which is why I wanted to get in soon."
We leave the elevator, "I could probably fit you in Wednesday morning. I'll be at the clinic though."
"That's okay. It doesn't matter. I just want to make sure everything's okay."
"Is this your first?"
"Yes but no."
Her look seems as if she's confused. "It'll be three years in April. I had miscarried without knowing I was pregnant. I'm not sure from what. I think I was around 7 or 8 weeks."
"How far do you think you are now?"
"I'm not sure. If I had to put a number on it, maybe 3-4 weeks."
She nods, "Okay."
We step into her office. She looks at her calendar. "I can fit you in at 9."
"That's perfect. Wednesday?"
"Yes, Wednesday at 9."
"Okay, thank you so much."
"Of course."
Christian and I hug each other as we stand by his car at the airport. "We better go before people start honking," I tell him.
He kisses me before we separate. He puts his bag in the back as I go to the passenger side. He gets in shortly after me, turning on the ignition.
"How was being home?" I ask as he pulls away from the terminal.
"Good. My mom asked how you were. Kinda lied to her. Told her we were going to be setting up the house and packing."
"For 2 months?"
He shrugs, "It'll work for now."
I nod. He puts his hand on my leg, "How are you feeling?"
"Good despite a very minor freak out when I got home from work."
He sighs, "Maya."
"What? You're telling me that you didn't freak out a little bit?"
"I wasn't going to freak out if I didn't need to. And I don't need to."
"Okay, well, I did. You have to let me freak out."
He looks over at me and smiles, shaking his head. "So 9 tomorrow?"
"Yeah."
"Do I need to meet you somewhere?"
"No, I took a half day. So I'll go in at noon-ish. It's not at the hospital."
"Oh, I thought you said it would be."
"Well, I wasn't sure."
Christian takes my phone and puts it in his pocket. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Just nervous."
He holds a hand on my leg over the thin blanket. He presses a kiss into the side of my head. I hold a hand over my stomach, "I think I ate too much," I tell him.
He turns away, bringing me my water bottle. I take it from him, "You know me too well," I tell him before taking a drink.
"Probably a good thing. I don't think you should go back to work today."
"You just want to spend the day with me."
"I do."
"I'll see what I can do."
He takes my water bottle back. Our doctor knocks before entering. She smiles, "Hi, good morning."
"Morning."
"How is everything?" she asks.
"Great."
"Good. Before we start looking at everything, I did want to talk to you both about a few things. I'm not going to lie to either of you. I'm going to be as straightforward as I can be. I did have a look through of your file to gauge a few things that I'm concerned about."
We both nod, "So, with your first pregnancy, since this is technically your second, I want to take some extra precautions. These aren't extraordinary precautions. I have it planned out since I'm assuming you're around 4 weeks. We'll figure that out in a few minutes. So I want to get you to 8 weeks since that's when you miscarried last time. If everything is well at that appointment, we'll focus on getting you to 12 weeks. 12 weeks is usually when the miscarriage risk falls drastically and when carrying to full-term skyrockets."
I take in this information as if it's new to me. It's different when you're on the other side of the conversation. "So as of right now, I'm going to label you as having a moderate-risk pregnancy. Not because I believe that you are at moderate risk, but because I want to take those precautions to hopefully get you to full term. This doesn't mean you can't do what you've been doing. I know you're active, keep doing it. Obviously, don't do anything that's going to put you at risk. When we get to that 12-week mark and everything looks good and you feel good aside from other pregnancy-related symptoms, I'll bump you down to low-risk. Okay, sound good?"
I nod. "Yeah," Christian says.
"Okay. I'll have you lay back so we can start the scan. Usually, I have my sonographer do this but I figured I could handle it today. So you'll probably see her for more time than you do me. But I will always make sure to catch up and go over everything after your scans. And I mean this, if you're at work and you're not feeling great or you feel like something isn't right, I can always find a way to fit you in. It's not a problem if I have to go back and forth between here and the hospital."
I lay back and try to get as comfortable as I can. "We're not going to see much today. I'm more concerned with getting your gestation and a due date."
Christian continues to stand next to me. He holds my hand. She turns the monitor around for us. She points at her monitor, "This is the gestational sac. I'll measure this to help determine everything. We probably won't be able to hear anything but we can try. It won't hurt anything."
She turns up the sound to the highest setting. If the room is silent, I feel like I can hear it. Maybe I'm crazy and think that I can hear something.
Christian squeezes my hand. Maybe he heard something too. She moves the transducer around. I feel as if it got louder.
"It's extremely faint. I won't be able to get a number on that but it's there."
When the scan is done, I sit up. "I'll be right back. You can go ahead and get dressed."
She shuts the door behind her. He hands me my sweatpants. I tie the waistband. "Did you hear it?" I ask.
He sits in front of me, "Yeah," his voice breaks.
I stand next to him so I can put my arm around him. He looks up at me, "It just became ten times more real."
I nod, "Completely."
She comes back in and hands me the sonograms. "You're measuring at four weeks exactly. That puts you at June 29th for a due date. I want to see you back here in four weeks. Congratulations, I never said that. I'm extremely happy for you."
"Thank you," we tell her.
I get our next appointment figured out at the receptionist's desk before we leave the building. I call Bridget as we walk out to his car.
She answers, "Yes?"
"Can you let everybody know that I'm not coming in?" I ask as Christian opens my door.
"Oh, yeah. Do you not feel great? How was your appointment?"
He shuts the door as I fumble with my seat belt, "Everything was great. I feel fine. I just don't want to go back in. Honestly, he convinced me not to so it's his fault. Take it up with him."
She laughs, "I will. I'll see you tomorrow then."
"Yeah."
I take my phone away from my ear, "Home?"
"House?" I return.
He nods. "Did you just blame me?"
I look over at him, "Yeah."
I smile at him. He can't help but smile back at me. I text Sydney quickly to let her know I'm not coming in. She'll give me hell for it but I don't think I want to work today. Not after our appointment.
"Can you look at my schedule and see where I'm at?" he asks.
God, I didn't even think of that. He could be out of the city for baseball. I pull up the schedule and go through the months. Okay, June 29th - at Tampa Bay Rays.
"On the 28th, you'll be in Tampa, so leaving on the 27th. Then you'll be in Pittsburgh for 3 games, coming back on the 3rd."
I put my phone down as I'm disappointed at the news. "It's okay," he tells me as he drives into our neighborhood, "We'll figure it out and deal with it when we get there. Maybe you'll be early or late. I'm not missing anything."
He pulls into the driveway. It looks amazing. The white siding and black gutters and shutters as accents. He opens the front door, letting me in first.
I set my bag on the island. We make it up to our room. I wander into our closet and bathroom. I'm in love with everything about this.
I walk into the hallway without him, stopping at another room. I open the closed door and smell the fresh paint. I use my shirt to cover my nose and mouth.
I'm assuming we'll make this the baby's room. It's closest to us. I leave the room, closing the door, "Painted?" he asks.
"Yeah."
He puts his arm around me, "Nursery?"
"Yeah."
He kisses my forehead, "It's almost done. We did it."
I smile against his chest. We have a new house. We're having a baby. What more could I need?
Although the baby was not planned - at all - I couldn't be happier to get this experience with Christian. "Ready?" he asks.
"Yeah."