Looking at your wrist watch you cannot help but mutter a few curses. Hurriedly you put on your clothes, struggling to do so in the process.
The clock reads 7:30 AM. Your appointment doesn't start until 9:00 AM but you are to arrive an hour earlier than the appointed time. Now you might wanna ask why you would be in such a hurry when there is enough time left. Well that's because the travel time takes an hour and that is if the traffic isn't as congested as it usually is.
You didn't forget to set an alarm last night but you slept through it. Dammit.
Locking the front door you made your way to your car, placing your suit jacket on the back seat and your bag on the passenger seat, you began driving.
Your day was already doomed after waking up late but the lack of caffeine only added to your stress. You just hope that it would fade sooner or later after you got your much needed drink. Tapping your fingers at the steering wheel you wait impatiently for the light to turn green so you could continue on your journey. Even though you're quite irritated due to how your morning turned out the soft music playing on the radio helped to somewhat alleviate your condition. Humming along the words sang by your favorite singer, well band, Bread.
You have always loved their songs. The way the lead singer's voice sound is unique. The story the song also holds tugs your heartstrings. You know a lot more old songs than the new ones, since for you they hold much more meaning than the songs you hear these days. You enjoyed listening to it every time, most importantly when you paint.
Yes.
You are a painter. A world-famous painter who goes by the name 'White Fairy'. A lot of people are quite baffled with the name you chose. But regardless of it, no one can deny the fact that you are an exceptional painter. Your works are top-notch, and they can always feel the emotions behind every masterpiece you make.
Lots of people comes to your art exhibitions, everyone wants to see what kind of painting they would see each time.
You've made many masterpieces in the course of your career and it hasn't been long. You began to pursue your craft a year after you have graduated from college. It was kinda funny since you weren't supposed to be a painter. None of your family members are in this field. You are a family of lawyers and doctors, the typical career for an Asian family. An acceptable career you can be proud of. Imagine the shock on your parents' faces when you revealed that you wouldn't continue on your path towards being a doctor, that you would not be attending medical school, instead you will pursue what you want, what you really want and that is what you did.
It was tough. Extremely tough. Your relatives mocked your decisions, everyone did. After taking a four-year premed course, you decided to change your career. You didn't attend any classes since you can't afford one. Your parents did not support your decision so they said you would not be getting any financial support from them. No support at all. And yes, the weren't joking.
Even your siblings mocked your decisions, calling you names and saying that you are such a disgrace, and that there is no money in this field.
But something like that won't hold you down, you wouldn't just give up on your dream without making any effort. So, you started working in order to support yourself, to provide for yourself, especially after your parents cut your allowance and kicked you out of your apartment.
The first months were the hardest. You weren't spoiled like your siblings but still you weren't accustomed to this kind of life. You weren't used to not eating four to five times a day. But now you have to make sure that your budget will last. Every penny is spent on your cramped apartment and daily expenses. You can't buy anything for yourself and you can't even buy snacks since you have to save money.
But despite all the hardships, you were happy. Happier than you have ever been.
The four years you've spent studying to be a doctor was harder than the life you are currently living in. You were constantly pressured by the expectations your family have in you and there wasn't a time to catch a break. You have to be the best, they expect you to always be the best. And it was suffocating. It was lonely, it was something you never wanted to experience again.
Though you are saddened by the fact that even your family didn't supported you, you didn't let it stop you. As greedy as it may sound to others you will do what you want to do. Its your life, and they cannot dictate what you do with it. This is what makes you happy.
But what made you a million times happier is none other than her.
Everyone left you behind, but she didn't.
Kim Jennie.
The person behind your success.
The person who supported you all the way.
The person who never left you behind.
She was the person who stayed when everyone else left you. She made sure that you eat three times a day. She made sure that your house is always clean, and that it is conducive for living. She made sure that you are not sick. She made sure that you are always okay.
You have always been with Jennie since you were in high school. She looks cold from others perspective but its not true. Jennie is a kind and soft hearted person. Her close friends knows about it. A lot of times she gets into trouble because of her resting face but that is just how she really looks.
Truth be told, Jennie is the sweetest girl in the world. She takes good care of her loved ones — you included — in more ways than you can count.
She is the first person who believed in you. Jennie told you to pursue what you really want to be. You gained courage from her words that night you two were hanging around at a local park.
It was already late, and Jennie invited you for dinner at this restaurant she found online. After that you found yourselves walking without a place in mind when you stumbled upon a park you have never visited before.
The two of you walking side by side in comfortable silence. Enjoying each others company as you continued your night stroll. You cannot help but sigh deeply as it was the first time you have been out in a while. Final exams are about to come, and you trapped yourself inside your room to study. Jennie called you repeatedly and you didn't noticed it so she went to your apartment. And when she arrived, she scolded you big time. She scolded you for not even noticing the blood dripping down from your nose. You've been studying since morning and you haven't taken a break, you skipped two meals already and Jennie wouldn't allow you to skip dinner as well. Dragging you out of your apartment she brought you to the nearest restaurant so you could eat together and one thing led to another and now you are here.
You keep looking here and there at the well lit park. The flowers blooming this time around made the place beautiful. The cold air was a bit chilly but it makes you feel alive. The way the moon shines as well as the many stars that painted the sky looks too pretty not to be seen, and you are somehow disappointed in yourself for not leaving you apartment more often at night. You were thankful and embarrassed that Jennie had to practically drag you out of your apartment to see what you've been missing. You are really lucky to have her, and just by thinking of it graces your face with a smile.
Jennie took notice of it as she stares at you. "What are you smiling about?"
"I am just happy."
"Of what?"
"That I am here. I owe you big time for knocking sense to me. Thanks Nini." You smile softly at the girl who is now in front of you.
"You should be. I can't believe you skipped meals. How can you study with an empty stomach? Are you trying to kill yourself? You are training to be a doctor and you don't even know the basic needs of humans? Are you dumb? Once you became a doctor, I would never let you do a check-up on me." Jennie rambled as she throws death glares on you, ending her scolding with a roll of her eyes.
You cannot help but chuckle knowing that Jennie cares for you so much. And you are happy that you have her in your life.
"I'm sorry I made you worry." She scoffed. "I promise I won't do it again."
Jennie has her arms crossed over her chest, as she gives you a sassy look. She wasn't acknowledging your apology.
"Come on, Nini. I already apologized, and I even promised! I swear I won't do it ever again!" You told her while raising your right hand as if you are making an oath.
She gave you another eye roll, and you pouted. "Nini, pleaseee. Don't get mad." You said trying to soothe the angry cat-eyed lady.
She then began walking and you followed silently. You know she is not really mad, or maybe she really is. Jennie is just really worried for you. She knows how much pressure is placed upon you, how your parents would regularly check your grades, how they push you to do the things they want you to do, and not care about your well-being. You are indeed well-provided, but it doesn't equate to your well-being. You are emotionally and physically drained from the pressure and Jennie knows all about it. She held you many times as you break down, crying and crying and crying, thinking that you will never be enough. And the next day you pretend that you are okay, that their words didn't affect you. But she beg to differ. She knows how much all of this takes a toll on you.
Jennie wants to tell you to pursue your dreams, but she also knew that you love your family so much to disobey them. You care for them greatly and their happiness is yours as well. But the truth is, it only makes you miserable. She never spoke ill about them. She only makes sure that you know that she supports and will always support you.
But after this incident she doesn't know anymore.
You always made sure to answer her calls despite how busy you are, so imagine how panicked she is after you didn't picked up. Not once, but all her calls. And she called you a total of 50 times. And the anger she felt after she saw blood coming from you nose was too much, and she had to gather all her self-control just so she won't say anything that would hurt you. So Jennie thought deeply. She had to tell you. She had to do this for your sake.
After a few minutes without talking to each other, Jennie finally said something. "Are you happy?"
"Right now? Yes I am. Very actually." You said enthusiastically as you let your eyes wander on the beauty of the night.
"Good. How long do you think it would last?" Jennie asked.
"Huh?"
"For another hour? Another minute? Then what, once you go back to your apartment you'd go back to being miserable. You'd go back to the reality that your final exams are just around the corner and here you are wasting your time on this stupid park with your good for nothing companion."
"Nini. What's gotten into you?" She didn't answered, "Besides that's harsh. This isn't stupid, you're not stupid, none of this, okay?"
"In you family's eyes it is. Who spends their time in here? You should be spending it on something more productive, not like this."
"Nini."
"You should be on your room, studying. And yet you are here, strolling through the night?"
"What's wrong?" You said as you walked closer yo where she stands.
"How long? How long would you choose to do this?"
"What?"
"I never said anything, since I respect your decision. But until when will you pretend that you're happy?"
"But I am ha-
"Will being a doctor make you happy?!" Jennie shouted as she faced you.
You were about to speak but Jennie beat you to it.
"It won't, right? It will make your family proud. But you'll end up self-destructing. You aren't even a doctor yet and you are already like this. I can't bear seeing you like this Y/n. You are always stressed, you zone out more times than I can count, you rarely spend time with us, with me. I have to drag you out of your room just so I could be with you. Until when are you gonna keep this up? We both know this isn't your dream so just please stop pretending. Can't you just do what you really want? You are an exceptional painter, that's just a fact. And if no one else would support you, just so you know I will. Always. So please, for once make decisions that would make you happy. Really happy."
"I...But I am h-happy Nini." You replied.
"Then why are you crying?"
"Huh?" Placing your hand on your cheek you feel tears falling from your eyes.
You know full well that this isn't what you want, but you cannot let yourself prioritize your own wants above your parents' wishes. Even though you want to admit Jennie is right, you cannot because you believe family comes first.
Jennie placed her own hand on your cheek as she began to wipe your tears, and you began to cry harder. Jennie has seen you break down a lot of times so there is nothing new, but you never admitted anything. You never want to admit that you are indeed suffering.
You cried harder as you placed your head on Jennie's shoulder. You know that what she just said is true, you never wanted to be a doctor. You respect those who wanted to, but that particular career is just not for you.
A painter. That is what you wanted to be, and Jennie was right. The more you deny it the more miserable you will be.
After what felt like hours, but in truth is just a few minutes, your loud cries turned a quieter. Jennie kept stroking your hair as she mutter some words to your ear in hopes to calm you down. Your arms are tightly wrapped on the petite girl's waist as you bask in her warmth. Taking a deep breath you wiped the remaining tears in your eyes and straightened your posture, by now you are holding Jennie's hands into your much bigger ones.
"Nini...thank you. What am I gonna do without you?"
"Probably end up more miserable than you already are." She said which made you chuckle.
"Yeah, you're right. You have always been. Which is why I am gonna follow your advice, I will...I will pursue what I want. I will...become a painter. A famous painter recognized by everyone. And people will lined up just so they can see my piece, and...and I know...I just know I will be happy. You're right. I will be happy. But I'll be happier if you keep supporting me. If you're there I will be happier than I'll ever be. So, stay with me until the end. Okay?" She nodded, you held out your pinky finger to her and Jennie rolled her eyes yet again but she connected her own pinky to your own, sealing the promise between you two.
"Its not like I have a choice. I promise I'll stay with you till the end." She stated as she gave you her gummy smile, the smile that always gives you butterflies on your stomach.
You too, smiled. As you both felt something falling from the sky.
Snow.
The first snowfall has come, and you get to see it with this amazing girl in front of you, who made you realize your dreams, who freed you, who supported you all the way. And you too, will promise to do the same for her. To do the same for Jennie, she deserve it. She deserves all the happiness in the world and you'll give it to her.
Taking in the beautiful features of the girl in front of you, you try to memorize this very moment. Engraving it to your mind and to your heart. And the feeling you are feeling right now, the feeling of love and gratitude flowing from the bottom of your heart.
Years passed and the two of you made it.
You became a world-famous painter while Jennie...she became a writer.
It has always been her dream. Back then, when you two where still in high school Jennie would always sneak out of class to go to the library, reading and reading and reading on her favorite spot. Jennie would always seat at the farthest table near the section where books written in her favorite genre, romance, is located. You knew about the girl's obsession towards this particular genre. She would not shut up about the books she have read. How the two leads met, how they fell in love, how they overcome all the trials they have faced, and you listened through it all. Because if not Jennie would hit your head, and its painful.
Well not exactly, you just love listening to Jennie's voice. She can talk about anything and you, for sure, would listen. Even if its all day long. You remember one time, the two of you spent summer apart. Your family went overseas while Jennie stayed in Korea. She called you every night to tell you about her day and you didn't complain even with the time difference. You didn't tell her that you would be going somewhere where her night is your day and vice versa, since you know very well that she wouldn't call and you don't want that. Her stories saved you from the boredom brought by the summer spent in another country. Your parents brought you there together with your siblings to be familiarized with some known doctors. And it was freaking boring and tiring.
Jennie loved to tell you about her ideas when it comes to writing. You are her personal critic and it was weird since you knew nothing about writing, but Jennie said your opinion matters the most and that you should know a thing or two about it since it is similar to when you paint. Since there is also a story behind it. A few times, you guys would be talking and then Jennie would bring out her notepad, since an idea struck her, or sometimes something you said made quite the impression to her and she includes it on her writing.
You witnessed how passionate she is and you cannot help but be inspired and love her all the more. She is your number one fan and you are hers. And it will always and forever stay the same. You were there when she launched her first book and she was there when your works were finally recognized. You celebrated your achievements, no matter how big or small, together. You pushed each other to be the best version of yourselves and you both are great influences on each others lives. With her by your side everything makes sense, everything is perfect. And you couldn't ask for anything more.
Jennie is your anchor. Always has been and always will be.
Turning the engine off, you took a deep breath as you stepped out of your car. Taking both your bag and suit as you went inside the building. The clock now reads 8:50. By now you are completely sure you would be scolded, you are way too late and there isn't much time to be briefed for what you would be doing.
Knocking on the door a voice told you to come in. As you stepped inside, you were greeted by the face of your friend Park Chaeyoung, or better known as Rosie.
"Why are you so late?" She exclaimed as you mutter lots of apology, "Jennie unnie is gonna kill you, you know?" Rosie said as she fixed her gown.
"I know. Where is she by the way?" You asked as you placed your belongings on the couch.
"The room on the far end." You nodded at the girl's words.
Rosie left after giving you another earful, stating that she has to find Lisa before she gets her hand on some alcohol and ruin the day.
Sitting on the couch you cannot help the nervousness creeping in. You have a few minutes left before the event starts and knowing Jennie she would want everything to be perfect. Which means the event will start on time. Putting on your suit jacket you look at your reflection on the mirror fixing your tie and your hair. Taking another deep breath you made your way towards the designated place for the event.
Step by step you moved forward, drawing nearer towards your assigned spot. Hands clasped together as the nervousness intensified when the doors opened.
If you were to be asked by anyone, who is the most beautiful girl in the world you wouldn't hesitate to say that its Jennie. Its true after all, she is the most beautiful girl you have ever seen, at times you cannot even believe that you get to spend time with someone like her. You have always find Jennie beautiful, but now, even more so.
Clad on her wedding gown, she looks almost heavenly. Scratch the almost. She looks like an angel. You cannot help but be in awe as she slowly walked down the aisle. Her features are more mature, her eyes became sharper but her mandu cheeks remained. Even with the veil covering her pretty face you know that she is smiling right now. The smile that saved you time and again, the smile you want to protect at all cost, the smile you came to love so much.
Her mother is accompanying her as she walks the remaining steps towards the altar.
As soon as Jennie saw you she gave you a small wave and you nodded at her gesture. You are surely beyond happy right now.
Five more steps.
Three more steps.
One more step.
Jennie walked.
And you continue to watch as she walked past you. As you watched her meet the man of her dreams.
You stood there, hands clasped together trying to stay strong at the sight of Jennie and the man she will marry.
Everyone knew that you like Jennie. But even though she is smart, at times she can be pretty dumb and oblivious.
You realized your romantic feelings towards your best friend the night of homecoming on your last year in high school. During that time Jennie is dating someone, but at the same morning of the event, Jennie found out that she was being cheated on. They were supposed to attend together but not anymore. She cannot bear going with someone who doesn't truly love her. You weren't supposed to attend but Jennie urged you to come saying it will be more fun if you are around, you wanted to but you are annoyed by the fact that she is dating that person. Still, its not like you can say no to Jennie, so even if you knew it would be one hell of a night you still went.
Looking around you kept searching for your best friend who is late. And Jennie is never late, she hates being late. After texting her multiple times and not receiving an answer you ditched the party and went straight to her house. You were greeted by her mother and she told you that Jennie shut herself inside her room, saying that she is sick. Heading upstairs you held the handle of her door room but it was locked.
"Nini? Nini? Seriously, if I knew you would ditch me I wouldn't have come. Come on open up the door so I can beat you up." You said.
Slowly the door opened revealing Jennie's poor complexion. Her face is filled with tears, eyes extremely red from crying, and her breathing erratic. And it pains you to see her this way, it angers you. Without saying anything more you pulled Jennie into a tight hug as she bawled her eyes out once again.
"A-Am I too in-inadeuqate? Y/n-ah, is there something wrong wi-with m-me?" Jennie said in between hiccups.
"Shh. That is not true. It will never be, okay? You are more than perfect Nini." You said in return trying to console her.
"Then w-why?"
"There is something wrong with him. Not you. Alright?" You held Jennie's face in your hands, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Look at me. You are the most beautiful person in the whole wide world, both inside and out. Don't ever doubt that, hm? When did I ever lie from you anyway?" You said placing a kiss on her forehead.
Jennie nodded her head and she began to calm down. You noticed the gorgeous dress she is wearing, the color really suits Jennie and it brings out her beauty more. Her lover made the biggest mistake in his life. Taking out your phone, you played the song you two always listen to. The two of you were sitting on the floor, you stood up and held out your hand for her to take.
You placed your hands on her waist as Jennie places hers on your shoulder. The two of you danced slowly to the song 'If' by Bread.
Once the song ended, an upbeat song took over. Taking her right hand you began to sway faster to the beat, making silly dances and faces to lighten the mood. Jennie looked at you and you heard her giggle. Not long after she began to do the same, letting herself loose to the music. Since that day, you vowed to protect Jennie, and that someday, you will be brave enough to tell her to stop looking for someone else, because the obvious choice is you.
Which is why at the news of her engagement, you were petrified. You were unable to attend the party since you were at New York that time and Jennie was in Paris. You just saw the post that she is engaged. The two of you were in good terms, you knew that she was dating this guy named Taehyung, but they have only been dating for a few months. So the news came as a huge shock, not only to you, but to everyone. To all of your friends.
Rosie in particular became worried for you knowing how much in love you are with Jennie. But it was your fault anyway, there is no one to blame. You are a coward, you waited too long to tell her and now, you can't do that anymore.
Taehyung held out his arm for Jennie to take and before they proceed towards the altar, Jennie stopped and looked back at you. She placed a hand on her chest a sign that says she is nervous, and you gave her a two thumbs up along with an encouraging smile. You two held your gazes at each other for a few more seconds before Jennie turned to Taehyung and gave her a firm nod.
You feel your heart sank even further as the two finally kissed, you were clapping alongside everyone else, but deep down you just want to go home and cry. But no, Jennie wants you here, and even if you don't want to, you have to be here. Jennie has always been there for you, and you will do the same even if it hurts you freakin' much.
Sitting by yourself at the reception area, you kept your gaze anywhere but the newlyweds. You try to suppress your emotions as much as possible. No one checked up on you since you asked them beforehand not to, or it'll only alarm Jennie. As you continue to sip your drink, some people came over to your table.
"I can't believe I get to meet you!" Someone said.
"The rumor that you are close friends with the bride is true indeed." Another one said.
You tried to humor them as much as you can but you're quite tired. The emcee took notice of this he called for you to give a speech.
"Everybody! Please welcome the world renowned painter and the bride's bestest friend 'White Fairy'! Come on buddy! Everyone's waiting!" Bambam called you as the crowd began to cheer its not like they get to see someone as famous as you everyday. You wanted to strangle him so much but decided not to.
As you get up the stage you cannot help but feel nervous as everyone's eyes focused on you. Taking a deep breath you took the mic and began your speech.
"Good evening everyone." You began, "To anyone who doesn't know who I am, my name is Y/n. To some I am much more known as the White Fairy, hearing that from my own mouth sounds a bit, embarrassing. I...have known Jennie since high school and we've been inseperable since then. She would always bother me and it gets annoying each time." You said earning a laugh from the guests. "But still I owe my success to her a lot. She supported me all throughout my journey and I will always be thankful for what she did. She made me realize my dream and she pushed me to achieve it. So, yeah."
You averted your attention from the crowd to Jennie. And you wish you didn't. Because as you looked at her you felt your chest tighten.
"Jennie." You called, "Thank you, for everything. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being Jennie. I hope all good things comes your way, together with your husband. I know that you like to read the romance genre way too much, you always talked about weddings and such and now your own dream came true. Congratulations! Anyway, I don't want to make it longer than I already did. I am happy for you, truly. And I'll always be here for you, alright?" You said as Jennie made her way towards you engulfing you on a hug. You returned the gesture but made sure to keep some distance out of respect towards Taehyung.
You cannot remember what happened next. The only thing you knew is that right now all of your hopes towards a future together with her is gone now. Her life is now with Taehyung. She will grow old with him and they would live happily ever after just like she always dreamt of.
After the reception you went home rather quickly. Using the excuse that you have a meeting tomorrow early in the morning.
Opening the door that leads towards your study, you turned on the lights walking slowly towards the rarely visited part of the room. As your eyes focused on the thing hanging on the wall, you cannot help but feel a bitter smile finding its way to your lips.
On the wall, the first painting you have ever made but have never released to the public is hanging.
The beautiful flowers blooming around what seems to be a park can be seen, the moon shines as well as the many stars that painted the sky added a magical atmosphere, and the falling snow looks perfectly in place. But what matters the most, and what made the painting beyond perfect is the girl in the middle of it all.
Familiar cat-like eyes and that adorable gummy smile always makes you feel inexplainable things.
You kept this painting to yourself, not wanting anybody else to see that precious memory engraved in your heart and mind. And this memory will stay forever as a memory. Just a memory.
Looking outside the window, you can see snow falling. Just like that day.
She has always been your muse. She has always been the subject of your paintings. She is the reason behind your pseudonym. And that's all it'll ever be.