Rm and Rose sat side by side holding hands , patiently answering all the doctors questions. Rms family health history, Roses .. then the doctor weighed Rose and took her blood pressure, other tests were offered and discussed too. Rose explained her primary care would be in Korea and they'd agreed to discuss tests then.
Rm answered all the questions patiently but inside he just wanted to see his baby on the little monitor . He had read books not long after Rose had told him she was pregnant , had an app on his phone that tracked the weeks and the babies growth and what to expect too. He had even tried to study sonographs in the hopes he would understand what he was seeing on the screen.
Rose hopped onto the bed and exposed her tummy as instructed and he watched fascinated as the sonographer squirted a jelly like substance on her tummy .
He had never felt so nervous , and excited in all his life, and that was saying something.
During his research he had also read the things that could be wrong , and although not a pessimist in general, he was very scared that something would be wrong, although he hadn't mentioned any of these fears to Rose.
Eyes fixed to the monitor as the sonographer moved a probe around and over Roses tummy he watched as the fuzzy screen changed with each movement .
Rose reached for his hand, he didn't want to take his eyes off the screen , but did long enough to smile at her...." stop worrying " she said , He looked surprised and tried to deny it but before he could speak she said "look "
She pointed at the screen and his eyes welled up, nothing could prepare him for the overwhelming emotions of this moment. There, just like all the pictures he had seen on line was his baby. His baby! he'd been saying it for a while now , but now this was real !
He looked briefly at Rose then back at the screen " That's our baby ?! " he said, awe clear in his voice. As he spoke the image on the screen jumped and he could make out an arm , almost as though it was waving at him.
" Hi Daddy " said Rose smiling.
It was a moment in time he swore he would remember all his life. He watched as the sonographer clicked here and there on the screen and he heard Rose ask her what was being done.
She explained she was taking measurements from various points and measuring the heart, " Heart ?" Rm said , surprised they could see that already. She ran the probe closer in one area and he watched as a little dark patch seemed to pulse.
He had no words , he just nodded and carried on watching as she completed her checks. Then she asked if they wanted a digital copy, print or even a video. " all three " said Rm quickly and Rose chuckled .
Once the scan was finished Rose wiped the jelly stuff off her and the two of them went to sit back down in front of the doctor. The 2 minutes it took for him to study his computer seemed the longest 2 minutes of Rms life but eventually he looked up and smiled and Rm felt like the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders.
" Your baby is growing well, " the doctor said " I can see you're around 12 weeks now , Heart is beating strong , and there is a normal amount of fluid at the back of baby's neck . So I would say everything so far points to you having a lovely healthy baby "
Rm stood up, leant over the desk and took the doctors hand , Surprising both the doctor and Rose " kamsahamnida, " he bowed " Thank you doctor sir "
Rose tugged at his sleeve indicating he should sit back down and he realised that in his relief and enthusiasm he had instinctively acted as though in Korea and not England, Feeling a bit silly and embarrassed he sat down quickly and said sorry , But the doctor just laughed and said " No .. Thank you for the respect "
With an agreement to email the results to Roses Doctors in Korea when ready, The two left the building. Rm was clutching a little clear plastic wallet containing 5 black and white images of their baby, the digital copy and 30 second video had been emailed to both Rm and Rose .
They walked hand in hand back to the waiting car that Rose had arranged , but before getting in Rm stopped and faced her . " Thank you " he said simply looking her deeply in her eyes " Thank you for giving me the most amazing gift in the world, Thank you for coming in to my life and making it complete " she smiled and went up her tip toes and gave him a gentle kiss " Thank you for loving me " she said simply.
The whole visit had taken less than an hour but it was one of the most precious hours that Rm had ever spent and the weight and enormity of it all was only now really just hitting him.
He was quiet in the car and Rose could see he was in his own world so she left him for a while. She watched out of the corner of her eye , she saw him looking at the pictures, then open his phone and watch the little video .
But by the time they pulled up at the inn and got out the car Rose had to ask " what's wrong " She couldn't understand why the sudden mood change, he had gone from being ecstatic and on top of the world to mute .
He took a second to think but then said " I just feel so bad that I am leaving you , you are going to be with out me for almost all of this, I am making you doing all the work by your self and I cant be there for you , I'm supposed to be the one rubbing your back when it aches and getting you weird craving food at 3 am because you cant live with out ice cream and chilli peppers. Its supposed to be my duty to do all I can for you and I'm being even worse than an incompetent father to be , Ill be an absent one "
" Oh babes , " she said " we've been through this, you have to work , you have a responsibly to the company and to you brothers. I promise me and baby will be fine, "
He didn't look convinced , and Rose vowed to show just him how strong she could be ...