ANGST... SAD
************************************
Joel's pov:-
Today I am here with my dog Meri, taking her on a walk around our neighborhood.
she's in a playful mood today. And so she is leading and walking me... Rather than me walking her.
"Jeez meri slow down we're going to your mother now" I said softly pulling her.
I could see our house in front of me, just the other side of road. And seems like Lizzie is there out waiting for us.
I smiled to myself as I clutched the dog's leash more tightly.
But I guess meri saw her as she began hyperventilating seeing, where lizzie was standing.
"NO MERI STOP." I screamed at her. But she continued forcing me.
Many vehicles were passing on the road. I had to make her stand on one place. Usually meri's not this stubborn but I guess she's in a mood.
My hand hurt so I let go of her leash for one second. And she ran towards lizzie.
I saw a car coming, honking multiple times.
"MERI" both me and Lizzie screamed at our top voices making the dog confused as she stopped looking at me and then lizzie.
I ran towards the dog and pushed it ahead of road. Before I could comprehend anything, the car hit me.
That's it. I saw blood pooling around me.
I blinked the last time.
I'm dead.
I saw lizzie scream my name.
I saw Meri whining loudly.
I saw Scott and other neighbors come rushing.
Lizzie rushed to my body and shakily patted my cheeks.
It hurt me as hell seeing her crying.
She clutched my body, held it tighter and cried out loud. She led out a scream.
"YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME JOEL. YOU CAN'T...." She screamed. I felt a pang.
I see Scott hurriedly call 999 but some other neighbors said it was of no use. I was dead.
Scott hugged lizzie tightly. I saw him cry for the first time.
"Joel please... Babe. Babe come back to me please. I fucking love you. Please Joel.... DON'T LEAVE ME" she cried till she couldn't even breath.
No lizzie. Please do not cry. It fucking hurts me.
She leaned her head onto Scott who was rubbing her shoulder to calm her.
I hugged her tight. Kissed her forehead. But it was of no use, she couldn't feel my presence.
I felt like dying 1000 times once again. I fucking didn't felt anything.
***
Lizzie's pov:-
I felt like millions of bullets shot in my heart. No way he left me.
He left me alone in this world.
I had cried up to this point that now no tears came out of my eyes. Just pure pain remains.
It was my fault. I was right there. I could have done something to save him.
Instead, I just stood there like a buffoon.
This all happened because of me. If I didn't stood there, nothing would've happened.
I lost my love of the life.
I lost Joel.
****
1 year later...
Lizzie sat,staring the dirty mossy looking tomb/grave. She took out her hankerchief and wiped her late husband's grave.
A small smile made it to her lips while a tear already trickled down her face.
She traced his name on tomb with her fingers softly.
"Hey babe. I hope you are listening to me and watching your silly wife from the sky" she slightly chuckled with broken voice.
Joel, who was indeed watching her from above, smiled at how she was trying to hide her pain.
"Look... I-I'm doing great alright...." she trailed off.
Joel's soul hurt as he knew that she was lying. Just trying to convince him that not to worry about her.
"please don't worry about me okay? Look. God I miss your voice, your touch, hugs, kisses, silly Antics to make me smile....dad jokes. Fucking everything. I miss you. But I figured that I can't do anything about it. The only thing I can do is grieve. The moment I knew you would never come back, I fucking lost myself. I am never the same lizzie anymore babe. Without you I'm nothing. Never as good as I was. If you were here right now, you would boost up my confidence... Caress me. When I realised I don't have you... I died from inside. And I die everyday. A death that I lived." lizzie took a break and looked up at the sky and smiled.
Joel just sadly smiled. He could almost feel how lizzie feels. He never imagined him like this. Never imagined her like this. It was all unexpected.
"oh lizzie how I wish I was here.... To tell you that all is OK. You'll be fine. You're my strong girl. I know you'll be fine" Joel whispered which was none heard.
"oh how I wish it was me who would've died instead of you. How I wish I would've have done something instead of just standing there doing nothing...." she began softly sobbing.
"I just wanted you to know.... That babe you're the best....." lizzie said wiping her tears.
"Maybe I never told you this but you were the best husband ever. And I will always love you. I still love you. And I'll never forget about you" she said, smiling a little.
"I will always watch over you my Lizzie. I am always there" Joel said.
"please be my personal guardian angel Mr. Hubby" she said trying to laugh but failed miserably.
"I will babe" he smiled.
"maybe you aren't hearing this but I love you joel"
"I know you'll never hear me...but I love you too babe"
****
Lizzie tried living her life and getting back to normal, making minecraft videos and spend time with meri.
But she failed terribly. Everytime she logged into minecraft sge remembered JOEL and her.
EVerytime she walked past Joel's filming room she felt his once remaining presence.
Their bedroom was the worst. She couldn't even stay in there. Memories of her and Joel cuddling and watching TV came up.
The house itself was coming to bite lizzie alone. She couldn't live here. Where Joel once lived. She craved his voice.
She craved listening to her name from his mouth.
Lizzie tried staying with scott for some days. No offence he treated her so warmly and nicely that she actually felt at home and good for sometime.
But she couldn't stay at his forever. Despite of scott arguing to not let her go, she came back.
She had no motivation for living. Lizzie felt as if the world's coming after her.
But she did live somehow. For Joel.
Not a single day spent. Not a single day of her not visiting Joel's grave. She talked out with him. That's how she felt like living.
She had a feeling that Joel did watch her from above. Everyday she said ily to him. And she wasn't wrong.
Joel saw lizzie slowly turn old but it always made him smile how she never really gave up on coming to his grave and talk for hours even tho it gave her weird looks from people.
Lizzie just relyed on Minecraft and her friend and family. At first her content wasn't the best. Not much fun. But she got the grip when her friends made her laugh and then her old sarcastic, funny happy go lucky girl came back which made her friends so happy.
Well now she did became extra protective of Meri. And the dog actually was old but never left her side. It was one of the reason lizzie is herself right now.
She never forgot about joel.
She could never.
And so she died at the age of just 56 due to health problems and her not wanting to live, leaving no hopes of her living.
Lizzie finally met JOEL after all this dreadful years. And it was the happiest moment for both.