It's been 3 days...
I may, or may have not left the apartment at all.
I've just been a hermit.
I know as soon as I do,
I'll feel obligated to start doing the things. That I was actually sent here to do.
I look out the small window watching cars pass by,
as I stand in the kitchen.
Slowly mixing my bloom greens.
Suddenly I hear keys struggling to unlock the door.
The door swings open and bounce off the wall.
"BAM!"
Ian storms loudly.
Mud living room, he claps his hands and announces.
"PARTY TONIGHT MY GUYS!"
Party?
Is he joking,
what is with all the commotion was this all really necessary.
I walk to the entryway and look at him. Giving him a dead panned look I say.
"Sorry what was that you weren't loud enough. I couldn't hear."
The words come sarcastically bitter out of my mouth sarcastically.
Ian looks around like he's waiting for something.
He throws his hands up.
"What are you the guys not here? That was very anticlimactic. No one is matching my energy right now."
I shrug.
"Zander said he was going to work,
and Jin left in an apron.
So I'm gonna assume the same for him."
I take a sip of my drink.
He scoffs shaking his head.
"Those guys need to stop being so responsible."
I roll my eyes. Before walking back into the kitchen.
Of course that's what they need.
He follows me into the kitchen like a puppy.
A sad pathetic puppy...
"Sooooo Grayson you coming to the party tonight."
Ian says as he grabs the milk out of the fridge.
He begins drinking straight from the jug.
That's awesome.
Who doesn't mind spit swapping.
"Party? I wasn't invited."
I say setting my glass down.
It's not like I know anyone here.
Why would I go there is no reason for me too.
"No duh. That's why I'm inviting you. Right here. Right now. Are you not listening. You need to meet more people Gray."
My interest has been tinged.
Maybe I could go,
and maybe I would even enjoy it.
Meeting more people, making some friends.
"What kind of party?"
I question turning to him.
He puts the jug back.
"Hear this,
a bonfire down at Birch Bay.
it's gonna be lit. Beer, girls, fire. You know everything you could need in life."
I scoff.
Never mind my interest has disintegrate.
"No thank you."
He groans and grabs my arm shaking it.
"Pleaseeeeee!
Pleaseeeee! go.
I may or may have not bragged to my friends, and said a girl moved into our apartment.
But now they don't believe me, they all think your a blow up doll."
"Ian! Your joking right?."
I say slapping his hands.
"I-I don't know."
"Come on you haven't left the house in forever."
I guess they've all noticed that.
Huh, I must seem pathetic.
That could be why Jim hasn't talked to me.
Zander has some how talked to me more,
and he's scared of me like a mouse being chased my a cat.
Ian puts his hands in a pray position in front of his face.
"Fine. But only because you look really pathetic begging right now."
He jumps up.
"Awesome we're gonna look so cool. Walking on the beach like baywatch up to the party."
He starts air boxing.
Awe the appeal of men.
"Yep just like baywatch,
but I get to be Zac Efron"
I say walking away
I don't listen to his response as I go to my room.
What am I gonna wear is the important thing I need to focus on.
That sounds like such a cliche.
I found Jin's social media.
AKA his instagram.
He only had two pictures posted.
One of him in a apron in a coffee shop.
Captioned
(Regular work day!)
And another of him shirtless at the beach.
Captioned
(Chilling with the tide.)
So I guess he's a barista.
And a inspirational greeting card writer.
Maybe I can get him to talk to me tonight.
I like having him as a distraction from everything.
Giving my brain something to focus on,
that doesn't make me wanna cry is fun.
It makes everything else seem not so serious.
I have all of my stuff put away.
Nothing else left in any boxes.
I forced myself to finish it ALL yesterday.
I walk over to my closet and run my hand across the hangers.
Stopping on a pink tube top,
my friend bought for me.
This would be a cute.
Maybe with a zip up hoodie.
And some Jean shorts.
Simplicity is key,
mainly because it doesn't take much effort.
I'm gonna go shower.
I need to be clean.
6:50pm
I'm lounging in bed when I hear a knock at my door.
"Open up."
The door opens,
it was Zander.
"Uh Ia-Ian told me.
To tell you, to get ready we're gonna leave in 15."
I smile at him.
"Thanks for letting me know Zander."
He walks away before coming back.
"Uh for the party,
leave in 15 for the party."
I chuckle a little.
"Yeah I know,
thank you."
He gives a thumbs up before running away.
It's cute when he try's.
I go over and close my door.
So I can change into the clothes.
15 minutes is not enough time to get ready.
I throw on some makeup.
A good amount of massacre.
Lipstick, a little eye shadow.
You know the good stuff.
I hear another knock at my door about 10 minutes later.
Zander again?
I was just about to come out.
"Open up!"
I grunt out, reaching across my bed grabbing my phone and hoodie.
To my surprise it was Jin.
He stands still, his hands in his pockets.
"Ready to go. We are about to leave..."
His words trail off as he looks at me.
His eyes rack up and down me.
This bitch is checking me out.
I feel like I look pretty hot right now and he just confirmed it for me.
"Yeah I'm ready."
I say moving to the door but he doesn't budge.
I look up at him.
"Well let's go Jin. I'm ready. What's wrong do I look okay?"
I've got to flirt. I cannot miss this opportunity.
I turn halfway and look down at my ass before looking over the rest my outfit.
Guiding his attention is key men are dumb.
He clears his throat looking away.
"You look, uh nice."
I blush slightly.
Play innocent Grayson.
I should not jump up and down and squeal right now.
"Thanks. The top is a little tight but I think it looks good."
I give him a small smile.
Yeah good job playing it cool Gray.
He glances down at me giving me a flustered look before walking away.
Letting me free from my room.
I fix my tube top. making sure my boobs weren't gonna free themselves.
He totally just checked me out.
I guess I did do good on my outfit.
He was just wearing some jeans and a hoodie.
He pulled it off.
To the party we go.
It takes us about 20 minutes to get to "BirchBay"
I've never been.
Or even heard of it.
But as the guys explained it's just the beach.
Which is cool.
And I'm glad I get to see it.
Once we get there,
I look out the window of Ian's big Sequoia.
All the other cars lined along the beach.
The parking lot separated from the sand by big logs.
My anxiety peeks that is a lot of a people, and a really big fire.
Ian throws the car into park.
"Alright guys! We need a game plan.
Who's gonna be the designated driver. Plot twist, it's not gonna be me."
Zander raises his hand in the backseat.
"I will."
"Great! Thank you so much sir.
Now let's go get fucked up!"
Ian drum rolls on the steering wheel, before swinging open his door.
I glance at Jin who was looking out his window.
He doesn't look to thrilled to be here either.
All I have to do is talk/charm people and make friends...
Why does that sound so easy.
I sigh before opening my door.
Hopping out of the tall car.
The guys led us down the beach.
"Now Grayson no getting lost. Your not someone we should leash while drunk should we?"
"Haha so funny. No. I'll be fine."
We go across the sand to a big table filled with different alcohol bottles.
And two large kegs to its right.
People clamored on the sand.
There was a lot of horrible dancing by the fire.
People sitting and talking.
Not mention the others going crazy at one of the kegs.
I support them.
I hope the guy does the beer funnel okay.
My train of thought is derailed when I hear.
"YO IAN MY MAIN MAN!!!"
A tan guy in an open flannel and board shorts yells at us.
He rushes over.
Ian yells out cupping his hands around his mouth.
"KADEN MY MAIN MAN!!!"
They chest bump.
The man. (Kaden) turns to Jin and clasped hands bumping shoulders.
Is that a guy thing?
"How are y'all doing tonight's,
don't forget to graby you some drinky's alright!
Oh hey! Who's this pretty little lady hiding back there.
You hiding her Jin?
Wait. Did one of y'all get tied down."
I peek around Jins shoulder.
Jin doesn't say anything.
Ian laughs handing everyone expect Zander a red cup.
It contained a mystery liquid.
I swirl it around in a circle.
Pretty sure it's death in liquid form.
"The little lady is miss Grayson. She's to good for any of us.
She's actually the roommate I was telling you guys about.
You know the blow up one."
He makes air quotations.
Am I really gonna be forever referred to as the blow up one.
Kaden's eyes widen.
"YO! Brooo everyone thought you was just lying. Nice to greet you my fair lady."
He bows almost falling over.
"Nice to meet you."
I'm caught off guard when
Jin chugs what was in his cup before gesturing for Ian to hand him another.
"Okie that red head over there.
Is most definitely calling my name to go get hit on.
Let me know if y'all need anything."
He rushes away down the sand.
Ian gets dragged away by some girls within minutes.
And Jin just sort of wanders off.
That's kind of him to just leave me here alone with the ball of anxiety.
leaving me and Zander.
I look at Zander who was just standing there.
"Why did you come? You don't seem like this is your scene."
I say sipping off my drink.
He shrugs.
"Th-the guys wanted me too. I'm usually the designated driver."
"Awe, okay that makes sense."
He nods as he takes a small step a little farther away from me.
I should let him go free making him do small talk with me must be torture.
"You can go wait in the car. You do not have to stand here with me."
I say leaning and looking at him.
He lets out a breath.
"Okay good. Bye."
He basically ran away from me.
I think we're getting better at talking.
We're working on it.
I look around everyone is having the time of there lives.
And I am just standing here.
Fuck it.
I chug down my drink a small gag coming out at the wretched taste.
"Holly shit!"
I curse under my breath.
I hope no one day that.
I go to the table steadying my self with one hand pouring a cup of vodka with the other.
This is the type of multi tasking they teach you in school.
After securing my cup with more I begin wandering around.
finally settling on the sand setting my hoddie down to sit.
I'm glad I brought it.
I knew it would come in handy.
My phone buzzes catching my attention.
scrolling through my messages I see nothing but meaningless texts.
So fun.
After awhile I finish my drink it was not good,
but it was gone.
I set my cup on the sand,
and rest my head on my knees.
Starring at the far fire.
I go out of my Snapchat.
The camera app is calling my name I should take a picture why not to commemorate my first party down here.
I turn in the direction of the fire.
Fixing my hair I stick my tongue out scrunching my face.
Suddenly someone is right on my should photo bombing my picture.
My phone clicks taking the picture.
I drop my phone turning to look at the person.
"Woah! Excuse me!"
I say leaning away.
A guy stumbles away from me.
"You just photobombed my picture dude not cool."
I pick up my phone and wipe the sand off it.
"Couldn't miss the opportunity. my names uh.... Jackson I can't believe I almost forgot."
I blink twice.
Okay and?
Does his name being Jackson mean he can invade other peoples personal space.
"Good job remembering your own name."
"Do we look cute in the picture at least. Let me see."
He says crouching down motioning at my phone.
"I didn't look I dropped my phone due to being slammed into."
I squint my eyes at him.
"Oh my gosh pull it up let's look."
I sigh opening my phone and swiping up on the picture.
It didn't come out half bad somehow it wasn't blurry.
He stuck his tongue out too almost matching my face.
We did look cute although my cuteness really carried the picture.
"Damn we look hot hey let me I wanna send it to myself."
"You wha-"
I couldn't even finish my sentence before he had my phone out of my hand and was doing something.
"Hey! We're you never taught personal boundaries."
He laughs.
"Aright I sent it to myself you can text me anytime. And by anytime, I mean anytime."
My ears heard my name.
"Grayyyy!"
Slurred out to my right.
An incoming Ian with a stumbling Jin we're walking to me.
Good timing.
Drunk and sand does not mix.
It was a sight to see,
my attention now fully off Jackson in front of me.
I keep in my small laugh.
They finally make it to me and Ian plops Jin down next to me.
"He is shit faced.
Keep watch on him for me, K loves and kisses."
He says before rushing off down the sand.
What?
So now I'm a babysitter.
I turn to Jin who was groaning on the sand his face had a red hue to it.
"I'm gonna go get another drink.
You don't forget to text me,
I'm gonna be waiting for it."
Jackson says waving his beer can around.
I open my mouth to talk when Jin cuts me off.
"She doesn't want to fucking text you."
Jackson scoffs while walking off.
Jin really must be shitfaced.
I poke his arm.
"Hey, are you dead?"
I question nudging him.
He slowly sits up.
Resting his head on his shoulder, looking in my direction.
Wow he is drunk.
"Grayson?"
He questions.
I nod.
"Yes I'm Grayson."
He squints his eyes.
"Are you gonna text him?"
I bite my lip.
My chest gets tight as I listen to each word of his question.
"I don't know, maybe. If I feel like it I will."
I'm not going to feel like it.
But he doesn't know that.
I chew on the inside of my cheek.
He nods. And throws his head back to look up at the sky.
"You can text me I have a phone."
He says as a plops back into the sand.
I giggle at him.
I am most definitely gonna hold this against him.
I do have his number.
Ian gave me his and Zander's Just in case I ever got locked out,
or needed something urgently.
"Uh huh, I already have your number.
Ian gave it to me. I think I'm gonna get you water stay here."
I say brushing off the sand as I try to stand up m.
a hand grabs my arm holding me down.
"No don't leave."
He says his grip firm.
His other arm over his eyes now.
"I'm just gonna grab you some water.
I'll be right back Jin."
He shakes his head.
"No, I said no."
I sigh.
"Fine, but no puking okay?"
He nods.
"Okay."
We sit there in silence.
I think he may have fallen asleep after a little while.
When he break our silence.
"Will you sleep with me tonight?"
He says still unmoving.
I'm almost unsure that he even actually said it.
I could have imagined it.
"What?"
"Will you sleep with me tonight. In my room. In my bed."
He removes his arm from his eyes.
"I don't want to be alone."
I look around unsure what to say.
My eyes finnaly land on him.
"I-I."
He looks at me, his face solemn.
His eyes that always pulled me in looked sad.
Like they had a weight on them holding them down.
"Sure."
He's drunk.
Im sure he won't remember this by the time we get home anyways.
A small smile crosses his face.
"Good."
I lay back onto the sand finally.
My back aching from sitting.
I rest my hands on my stomach holding my phone.
Completely forgetting about the picture I just took.
Completely forgetting about my mom and dad.
Just focusing on the stars and Jin.
I turn my head slightly and watch him.
As he stares scanning the stars.
What have I gotten myself into...