Life is cruel.
Life is so unfair.
Life is not a choice.
Leaving us question 'why?"
Hardship and challenges are part of a human experience.
We can't control the circumstances life throw us.
We can control how we respond to them.
Finding meaning in difficult moments.
Finding the truth behind the lies.
You go through your days, living life, dealing with ups and downs, successes and failures, But something happens that shakes you to your core and makes you realize just how brutal life can be.
Many of us are questioning ourselves why we need to deal with this? Why can't we just enjoy and have fun?
I just woke up in the middle of the night questioning my existence. I can't remember anything. My life, My family, My sibling, My self.
I'm just 8 years old but why am I thinking of this?
I'm being matured at an early age.
I walked to my table and opened my laptop I saw many videos with a girl.
Who is she?
I watched the video.
I feel something strange.
"Xiana!" She called me while laughing.
"Let's go there!" She grabbed my hands and we ran to the beautiful beach.
"The sky is so beautiful!" We sat on the sand.
We're laughing like there's no tomorrow.
"Xiana! Xiara!" That's Mommy and Daddy calling us with a tray of fruit on their hands.
"Wow!" Her beautiful smile and dimple in her cheek.
"Xiana, eat this it's your favorite." She gave me grapes.
My favorite fruit.
"It's my favorite." She grabbed the strawberry fruit.
The four of us were laughing and enjoying the view of the sky.
I became emotional while watching it.
There are tears rolling down my eyes.
When the video stop I clicked the other one.
"Goodmorning sunshines!" That's the voice of our Mom.
They go to our bed and wake us up.
We laught because of what they did.
Mom and Dad.
After the video ended the next video played.
"Xiana stop crying." The girl said while touching my face.
"Papangit ka niyan." She said while laughing and suddenly I laught too.
I hugged her and she hugged me too.
"Don't leave me, okay?"
"I will never leave you." She said.
Then the next video played.
"I love you Xiana." The little girl kisses me on my cheeks.
"I love you to Xiara." I said and hugged her.
The video stopped and the other video played again.
"Xiana slow down!" The girl approach me.
I'm running nonstop.
The girl grabbed my hand. "Madadapa ka." She said in a little tone.
Her eyes.
She's worried.
"Don't worry, I'm okay." After I said that she smiled.
"I hate you." I said.
"Why?" Her worried eyes showed again.
"Because of that smile."
"Why?" She pouted.
"Your smile is the most beautiful smile i've ever seen."
She smile again.
After the video end.
I burst into tears.
That's my sister.
Xiara Ferrer.
I miss her so much.
By the way where is she.
The door opened Mommy and Daddy entered the room.
They sat on my bed.
"Mom, Dad?"
"Why honey?" They asked.
"Where's my sister." I looked at the door but no one entered.
"Where is she?" I asked again.
I looked at their eyes. I saw Mom tears flow on her cheeks.
"Your sister is died." I shook my head.
"No! My sister is not dead!" I scream crying my heart out.
"I'm sorry." My Dad apologized.
They hugged me while I was sobbing endlessly.
The other day we went to my sister's grave.
I'm just standing in front of her grave and stare at her name.
As my tears flow...
"W-Why? H-how?" I'm stuttering.
"She died because of a heart failure." Dad said.
They're standing on my back.
Heart Failure?
"Xiara." I can't say her name perfectly.
"W-Why did you leave me?" I sobbed.
"Y-You said.. Y-You will never leave me." I remember her saying that word to me.
"I'm sorry." Dad and Mom hugged me.
After that Mom and Dad never showed.
I cried every night.
I don't have friends.
I don't see Mom and Dad anymore.
They're always in the hospital. Working.
Until my birthday comes.... No.... Our birthday.
I'm now 9 years old but she stays 8.
Mom,Dad and I celebrated our birthday on my sister's grave.
I can't smile or even laugh.
After that they didn't show again.
I'm always alone at the house.
I have a nanny but I don't like her.
I just don't.
Everyday I watched our videos together.
Our laugh. Her smile. I miss her.
Until our birthday comes again.
The first time I experienced my nightmare.
It's her.
She didn't die because of a heart disease nor heart failure.
I always have that same dream.
Every night.
Until i meet Zaniah, Rayden, Jack, and Owen.
The first time I laugh again and smiled again.
But every night I still cry.
That nightmare didn't go away.
My Mom and Dad didn't know about that.
Mom and Dad never asked me if I'm okay.
I'm their child too.