Jinwoo has a job that he enjoys, but the entire year he was always stressed out and he had his boyfriend to blame or better yet, ex-boyfriend.
He had enough and didn't want to continue his stupidity through the coming year so before the current year ends, he finally broke up with him. But it didn't mean immediate happiness. Many times, he had the urge to make up with the guy and hope again that he will change and be better to him. He was so in love, how can anyone understand?
Having been broken up with his ex meant their plan for New Year's Eve is down the drain. He won't admit how he planned for the event for a month and how much money he spent. He could have gone by himself, but he felt like it would be a disservice to his heart. It was better, he realized, to lose the money than lose what insufficient amount of respect he still has for himself. So instead of flying to Jejudo by himself, he decided to stay in Seoul.
It was almost two in the afternoon when he arrived at his destination. It was only thirty minutes drive from his place, but it felt like he set foot somewhere far the city. The place was a camping site, it was just a huge lot actually with many trees around. There were several tents placed at the ground adorned by smooth grass. There were also low tables and sitting pillows where guests can have their meals or conversations.
He saw on the website of the place that they have a manmade lake. It was really popular for Seoul people. If nobody cancelled their accomodations, Jinwoo won't be able to come. He thanked the person in his mind.
He first went to the reception area to check in and get his key to the caravan he rented. He would rent a tent if one was still available. The staff was kind enough to walk him to his caravan. The size was typical, there was a bed and a sitting and dining area. Outside, it had its own fire pit which can be used to grill.
Jinwoo decided his first activity will be sleeping.
Ugh. Finally. Finally, he was alone.
Mino wanted to spend the last day of the year alone. For once. It was a tiring year for him really. He always had people around him. His surroundings were always chaotic. Finally, peace and quiet.
He had been there. But not alone the last time. He was with his best friend but things went downhill between them so they fell apart. It was also during the time when he wasn't so popular yet. That movie at the beginning of this year really did it for him. It was a hit and a critically-acclaimed one, he even won an award outside Korea.
He just really wanted to breathe. Of course, he was thankful for his luck and everyone who supported him. But at times, the attention can be suffocating.
He couldn't afford to go somewhere far, good thing the campsite was in Seoul. There were a lot of people, but they were busy doing their things to care about a weird looking guy wearing a mask, shades and a fedora. Better be careful.
The staff said they would walk him to his caravan but he insisted he can find it on his own, the staff would insist back had not a guest came to inquire about something.
"Oh, it isn't locked." Mino kept the key to his pocket and went inside the caravan, ready to retire to bed. "Oh!" Only there was someone occupying the said bed.
Jinwoo hadn't been a light sleeper. He believed he works hard so it's natural that he sleeps hard. And yet, an unknown presence not making any sound at all woke him up that day.
He opened his deer eyes to a stranger inside his caravan. The stranger had his mouth agape, and one of his arms raised in midair. Also, he wasn't moving.
"Who are you?" His voice came out a little raspy, he hasn't been talking a lot that day and he just woke up from a nap. He sat up and tried to fix his disheveled hair.
The stranger finally noticed his arm, he dropped it to his side and coughed a little maybe coming back to present. "Well, uhm..." He scratched his nape. "I'm Mino, I'm a guest here too. I'm sorry, I thought this was mine. I'm sorry I woke you up. The caravan's not locked, I think you should lock up before sleeping. Someone might come and steal from you or worse hurt you."
Jinwoo tilted his head. Something was wrong with the guy. Why was he seem to be concealing his face with that huge ass shade? Also, why was he babbling?
"Oh shit." The guy covered his mouth. "Oh shit, where's my mask?" He looked at both his hands and found the object on one. "Did I just really introduce myself to you? So much for wanting to go incognito. I'm so stupid."
He didn't understand him actually. The stranger seemed to be spouting words in a language he couldn't recognize. Jinwoo got up to his feet and faced the guy. "I think you should go to the reception area if you can't find your caravan. I'd be going out so I have to ask you to leave now."
"Right." But the guy didn't make any move. "Right," he just repeated.
Jinwoo sighed, trying not to lose his cool.
"But don't you know me?"
"Do I have to?"
Mino was greatly taken aback. He was mistaken and entered someone else's caravan. He happened to realize it when he saw the owner sleeping at the bed. It was a small bed, but the guy seemed to be comfortable. Looking at the guy's face was what did it for him.
He got so confused, he can't begin to decipher how a guy can be that pretty and with his eyes closed at that. He couldn't understand while instead of shamefully retreating, all he did was freeze in the spot with the desire to go on closer. He wanted to confirm up close that the person was indeed a guy.
The person woke up shortly and upon seeing that, he unconsciously started saying random things. He was embarrassed to be caught and something else. The guy told him to leave but he didn't want to.
Desperate to keep the conversation, he asked the guy if he knew him. He answered no and Mino really felt disappointed, really so much for wanting to go incognito.
But his disappointment didn't last as an idea came to him. It was perfect that the guy didn't know him at all, it meant he need not be wary of him, right? "No, you don't have to. Of course not." He found his smile and then he removed his glasses. Just to be sure, he asked again, "You really don't know me?"
The guy shook his head. And to Mino's relief, his expression softened. "Do you need help finding your caravan?"
"Yes," Mino responded rather excitedly. "That would be great if you could help me."
And of course, the caravan was just beside the guy's. He thought his companion would just leave after they found it, he didn't expect him to come inside with him. "They're similar inside," he quipped.
"Yes. Uhm... Thank you and I'm sorry about earlier uhm..."
"I'm Jinwoo."
"Jinwoo. By the way, you're alone too? It seems you chose solitude too instead of spending the new year with your family."
Jinwoo nodded. And he was able to read how his expression changed again. It was one thing Mino deemed he was good at, reading someone's face.
"If I may be so bold to ask, do you want to hang out later since we're both alone? Ah, before you answer. Here's the catch, we won't be asking each other's personal lives, it's okay if we ourselves talk about it on our own. I mean I won't pry about you I promise. I'm just not used to being alone. You see I was supposed to come here with a friend and... And I'm blabbing again, am I?"
His eyes sparkled when Jinwoo laughed. His laughs had nice sounds in them. "It's cute. It's kinda refreshing."
"Hm?"
Jinwoo shook his head. "Alright. I'll come out here later. I'll bring some food with me."
Mino smiled. "Thanks, Jinwoo. I look forward to it."
Jinwoo brought the pork belly he marinated, some mushrooms, cup noodles and chips. It was unexpected, to be spending time with someone he just met on a day he initially wanted to be alone. But something about Mino made him feel comfortable and so he didn't want to turn down the invitation to hang out.
"Hey, you're just in time." Mino had started to light the fire pit. It was only a few minutes before five then.
"What are you grilling?" Jinwoo asked as he occupied one of the camp chairs.
"Beef and sausages. What do you have?"
"Here." He took the lid off the container. "Want some noodles?"
"Maybe later." Mino got the container and set it beside him. "I'll grill it for you. I have some beer in that cooler, you want?"
"Sure." He took two for each of them.
"Uh, Jinwoo, I forgot to ask how old are you. It'll be rude of me if you turn out older than I am and I just call you by your name."
"I was born in 1991."
"Shoot. That means you're a hyung. Sorry, hyung. I was disrespectful until now."
He could not help but chuckle. "It's fine. It's fine, you didn't know. Do you want me to help you with your can?"
"Okay."
Jinwoo took the beer and opened it, the sizzle it made was really pleasant. He was about to hand it to Mino when a piece of meat came to his view.
"Try it, hyung. It's cool, I blew on it."
He was hesitant at first, kind of reminiscent about a distant memory. He blinked before eating the beef Mino offered to him. It was tender, it seemed like an expensive cut. "That's tasty."
"Right? And then drink some beer." Mino himself did so. "Woah! How refreshing, right? How nice it is to be here and grill and eat and talk." He flashed him a boyish grin. "Is there something you wanna do, hyung? We should do it."
He sighed before speaking. "I really wanna get drunk. I want to get drunk and forget. And then when I sobber up, I still want to forget. I want my memories to be erased."
By the look Mino gave him, he realized he wasn't making any sense to him. Still, he smiled.
"I guess what I'm saying is I want to leave everything behind this year and start anew next year."
That, Mino looked like he understood. "I see. Everyone probably feels the same. I have things I want to forget too, but being drunk won't really help. Maybe talking would? I know we agreed not to ask about each other's personal life so I was just saying that, hyung. No need for you to tell me anything."
Mino stood up and went inside his caravan. He was carrying plates when he returned. He transferred the cooked meat in one.
"Do you want rice?"
He shook his head. "I can grill too you know."
Mino lightly chuckled. "Of course, you can. But let me do it for you, hyung. All you have to do is eat and drink and maybe heal yourself. I'll be your personal chef today, okay? Just treat this as my repayment to you for allowing me to hang out with you. As I've said earlier, I'm really not used to being alone and also, I don't really want to be alone."
"Then why are you alone?" He couldn't help ask. "Oops. Right, we promised no asking."
"But I still want to answer you." Mino looked at him.
He looked at him a certain way that he felt like a blush would appear in his cheeks. He looked down to the grill instead of meeting his gaze more. Was he getting tipsy already?
Alright. He was definitely lying. He went there because he wanted to be alone. Also, he wasn't supposed to be there with someone. Mino was being crazy, he could admit to that. But who knows deep down, maybe he really didn't want to be alone and the things he thought were lies were actually the truth.
"My best friend and I had a fall out. We've been friends since school days but we had a fight, so big that all the years we spent together couldn't even help patch things up."
"So you were supposed to come here with your best friend?" Jinwoo asked him.
"Yes. We were supposed to welcome the next year together here. We came before, he was the one who knew this place first." The second part was a fact. "I think before the fight, we already had small misunderstandings, I think those small misunderstandings piled up so when the fight happened, all of them just burst out so things became too difficult to fix."
"I experienced the same. I fell out with someone too. I can relate." Jinwoo wasn't looking at him but he can see how his eyes changed. His jaw went a bit stiff too. But the smile on his lips was really the giveaway, it was a sad one. "There are really things that can't be fixed even if you want them badly to be fixed. You'll just get tired trying, it was best not to try at all."
"Here." He offered him the plate filled with meat. "Eat some, hyung." He smiled at him when their eyes met. "The sitting area at the field must be full, no? The view there was nice, I thought we should eat there but here's just as fine."
Jinwoo nodded and took a bite of the pork belly. "I don't mind here too. If you want, we can take a walk later."
"I want that. There'll be fireworks display at twelve. Let's find a good place to watch later."
Mino and he agreed to meet again around eleven. He decided to take a walk by himself around the camping site.
Mino was right. The field was full. Loud music were being played too and people were chatting. Needless to say, it was noisy. But it was a kind of noise that brought him peace for some reason.
The wind was cool and despite people's noise, he could still hear the branches and leaves of the trees swaying as wind passed them. Beside some trees were logs situated for sitting. He found a vacant one and settled there.
Jinwoo looked up at the night sky and breathed. The moon was there but he couldn't make out stars. They were probably hiding behind the clouds. He breathed once more, a pain in his chest reminded him of the reason he was there. That physical pain that manifested from the deep emotional pain his just ended relationship brought him. He felt bitter.
After everything he had done, he was alone in the end. He thought of what he told Mino and nodded to himself. "I should have not tried at all."
He knew the soil was bad but still he planted seeds there. He kept on planting and planting until there was no more seed left for him. Nothing grew out of the soil. And now all that was left for him was bitterness.
His head throbbed. Right, he was tipsy. And because he was tipsy, he was missing him. He wanted to laugh and cry and beat himself. He was bitter but then he missed him? How pitiful.
Mino was lying down his bed, he might fall asleep so he made sure to set an alarm. Jinwoo and him will watch the fireworks later.
He can't believe the year was really about to conclude. He did a lot that year, he worked too much. It made him forget how he lost one of the people who were important to him. It made him forget the pain too in knowing that his former best friend had never made an effort to reach out.
Since they were in the same field, he knew they were bound to meet again. And maybe when they did, they were just going to pretend not to know each other. How amazing it was. Once, they were inseparable and now, they were nothing to each other.
He sighed and shook his head. That was that. "Yeah, that's that." He said that but he can't help but tear up. And then he remembered his companion that day - Jinwoo. He said he also had someone who he fell out with. He must be really sad too.
He wished he can comfort him. He had that thought before he fell asleep.
It was thirty minutes after eleven. The pair found themselves at the bridge right above the lake. It was made of wood and had railings of thin logs surrounded by Christmas lights. There was no one there beside them like the spot was reserved specifically for them.
They were standing but none of them minded that, the place was perfect to see the fireworks.
"When was the last time you watched fireworks display?"
Jinwoo pondered the question. "I'm not really sure. I might have seen one this year but forgot."
"Hm." Mino hummed. "If you ask me the same question, my answer is I've seen fireworks many times this year but I don't get tired of them. When I find something beautiful, I don't really get tired of watching it."
He looked at him and blushed immediately when he saw Mino staring at him. Had he been staring at him the entire time? He turned away, Mino might think he was weird if he saw his tinted cheeks.
"Hyung, if you don't mind me asking. What's your New Year's Resolution?"
"New Year's Resolution?" Jinwoo thought about it. Then smiled. "My New Year's Resolution is love myself and learn when to let go." He turned to Mino again who was still looking at him. "What about you?"
"That's a great resolution, hyung, mind if I borrow it?" He smiled, no, beamed.
It made him confused. "Mino, you look kind of familiar."
"Really? I must have a common face, enough for people to mistake me with someone else." And then he looked away. "I hope you'll be happy next year, hyung. I hope you'll forget the memories that hurt you, but still keep the ones that made you smile. We may hate the person we were with when we made memories, enough to make us want to erase the memories no matter how much we treasured them.
"But won't it be a waste then? Maybe not now, maybe in the future, if you look back on those memories, I hope you find them as happy memories again. Just forget you're with them, just think you're by yourself. That way, you won't feel bitter about all the efforts you've made. Just keep the good things and erase the bad. Maybe then, it wouldn't be as painful."
Mino surprised himself. Where did he get all those words he just said? But he doubted he only wanted to say them to Jinwoo. He smiled as he realized it. Those words were for himself too.
When he looked at Jinwoo's way, he found him looking up the sky, something shiny falling from his eyes. He followed his gaze.
"Look, Mino. The stars decided to show themselves in the end."
He knew what Jinwoo told him had two meanings. "Yes, they did show themselves in the end. They're beautiful, aren't they, hyung?"
"Yes. They're beautiful and healing."
In a near distance, they heard the commotion growing louder and people started doing a countdown.
"I hope we can fulfill our New Year's Resolution."
"I'm sure we will."
Finally, the moment arrived. In the sky, they were both staring at, shimmering lights of different colors appeared. Every boom began an ascending firework that reflected on their eyes and at the body of water below them. It was beautiful. It was healing.
"Happy New Year, Mino."
"Happy New Year, Jinwoo hyung."
It was the end.
But then, it was also the beginning...