Gracie's POV:
"The car crash caused a lot of damage, it broke a few ribs that punctured her lung which we had to operate on. She had internal bleeding and there is swelling in her brain which has put her into a coma...." The doctor-doctor Millard-continues to talk to myself and Ava who is listening intently while I bite my fingernails down until I start to bleed. I switch hands when I taste the copper on my tongue.
"While she is in a coma we will continue to monitor her activity" until they decide whether she is worth the room and resources she takes up and switch the machine keeping her breathing off, if they don't deem her so.
"Thank you doctor" what will we do if she doesn't wake up? I can't live, can't survive without her: she's my sister, my best friend, my mom, my everything. I won't live without her.
"Gracie" Ava shakes me out of my thoughts and I look up at her with alarm. "What?"
"You're spacing out again" I can see the concern in her eyes but my own drift back to our sister who needs all of our concern at the moment. I leave her arms and slide into the seat I've taken for the last god long hours. I hold her hand and I watch her still, deathly pale face that's only colour is that of bruising or cuts. And I pray for her to blink or to squeeze my hand, I pray for anything that shows she's still with us.
"You should eat" a hand slithers across my shoulder but I don't look up. "Gracie?" Kim says with her usual soft tone sounding scratchy. No one slept much last night and we arrived here just before 6 am so every one is a little rough.
"I'm not hungry" I hear her sigh,
"We'll bring you all some up" she squeezes my shoulder before they all disappear with pitiful gazes sent our way.
All except for Elias and Ava. My sister sits by the window that she gazes out of because she's can't face our sister. That's how we differ. I can't look away and she can't even spare her a glance. Elias is in the middle of our extremes, he watches like me but every two hours it gets too much and he looks away to the window. He sees her pain and feels it too because he loves her so much. That knowledge gives me solace in that telling him about our dad wasn't a mistake. He can help. It took me some time to realise that but I know it now, he's proved it to me.
"She shouldn't be here, like this" I shake my head, tears pooling at my waterline.
"Gracie" Ava warns me because she doesn't know that I told Elias, not yet anyway.
"No we never should have stayed quiet" my head swivels to look at her with anger radiating off of me, at myself and her for being so selfish. Ava only shakes her head, tears filling her own eyes.
"She suffered in silence because of us for years, Ava. All because she believed that it was her duty to be hurt if it meant that we would be okay" I wipe away tears roughly. If we had spoken up she never would of ended up here, fighting for her life. Ava's eyes dart to Elias and her expression melts from anger to confusion and then finally realisation. "You told him didn't you?" I wait for her eyes to land on me again before I nod.
"Yes like I should of done months ago"
"She'll kill you, she'll kill us"
"Or he'll kill her! How many times has he tried and nearly succeeded? She's sat in a hospital bed right in front of us, fighting for her life because of him. What more could possible happen before you finally realise that hiding his abuse will only end in iris' death?" Her jaw slacks open as we stare at each other.
"I-I need to go" my twin pushes herself onto her feet, her eyes wild with a whirlwind of emotions.
"Wait Ava-" Elias tries to stop her but I only turn back to Iris and wipe away my tears with a shaky hand. "I won't let him hurt you anymore Iris" I whisper the promise as I press a kiss to the back of her palm. "You've had enough pain for every life time before and after this one" and it's true, from as far as I can remember Iris has suffered. At the hand of someone else or at her own.
She always punished herself and pushed people away because she thought that was the best way to protect everyone from herself and all the bad things that surround her. Truth be told, I never knew how to help or what to do when iris did this because she is the person I go to whenever I need advice but I obviously could never do that when the concern at hand was her. So I pretended that I didn't see what I couldn't fix and let her go down this destructive path. Now I realise that I've failed her.
If it was me or Ava or any one of the people who have been camping out at the hospital all day, in Iris' position, she would have done anything and everything to help them. Including putting herself on the line.
I'm not sure how long passes probably only forty five minutes before the room is full once more and a tray of pancakes is put in front of me. I stare at them for a long minute,
"You have to eat something Gracie, starving yourself won't wake her up. If it would not a single soul in here would touch a piece of food" it's Mal coaxing me this time and my own way of acknowledging her words is by taking a small bite of the fluffy food.
Everyone seems to take turns switching between sitting and standing, talking and watching, being thankful she's still alive and worrying she won't wake up. It's exhausting even for me who can only focus so much on the worrying part. The only thing that stays the same is my hand in her right one and her left in Elias'. We don't let go, or I don't, he has to from time to time when Diego wants his attention or when he ran after Ava before. She came back inside a little after everyone else and she looks worse than before.
She looks guilty. I have the urge to say something but before I can the door slams open and all chatter falls silent as we turn to see the new visitor. "Oh my god" Bailey gasps, his hand flying up to cover his mouth as he moves toward Iris.
"Let's give them a minute everyone" Aidan ushers everyone out besides me and Elias. Lu doesn't want to leave and I'm sure he waits literally next to the door when he does whereas Ava can't get out quick enough.
I watch him take Elias' spot at her bedside with tears already welling up in his eyes.
"Grumpy" his voice breaks and I raise from my seat for the first time since I got here. Elias takes note of my movement and moves to my side in an instant. "Let's get some fresh air" he extends his hand and I take it without hesitation. His rough palm slides across mine as he leads me out of the room to give them some privacy and we don't stop until we've reached the hospital entrance.
We find a metal bench to sit side by side on and once we stop moving I release a deep breath that I feel like I've been holding since I saw my sister.
A comfortable silence encases us with the birds chirping being the only sound we can hear. It's peaceful and gives you time to think or not to think because that's all I seem to be doing recently.
"My father, he's in a coma too" i break the silence with something I know he's been avoiding asking me. They've all been avoiding asking in case I break. Elias turns to look at me before I can take another breath but I don't face him.
"You don't have to-"
"I wanted him to die in the crash. I wanted Iris to be avenged with his death," I pinch the skin at wrist. "Then I saw him lying there, barely any bruises on him and he looked so smug" I know that's impossible because he is in a coma but I swear he did. He always has.
"I was so angry in that moment that my body took charge and I reached for the socket that his ventilator was plugged into" I pinch harder.
"the door opened and I had hide under his bed" the nurse didn't stay for long, she checked his vitals, wrote them down and then she left.
"But I was going to do it, I was so close and I wish I had because he broke her until she could no longer patch herself up and all that was left was a shattered image of a girl that once wanted to live" I look down, my finger brushing over the bruise I've made on my wrist.
"But I'm a coward because I never spoke up and again I didn't do it. I didn't pull the plug" he takes my wrist and soothes his thumb over the fresh bruise. "You're no coward Gracie, you're a kid. One that's had to deal with more than most. No one gave you a book with instructions on how to react and what to do when you saw what was happening to your sister. And no one expects you to have reacted in any certain way because you were doing what you know best to do, which is listen to Iris." I sniffle and finally meet his eyes.
"You really think so?" he nods softly before pulling me into his chest. "I really do" he tells me and I hug him back tightly. I missed him, I missed him and my sister together. He made her smile so much and when they were together you could see how much they complemented each other. He made stupid jokes, she'd roll her eyes but couldn't hold back her laugh. She cooked, he tried to help but would end up just watching and listening to her talk while she finished. He always wanted her in his arms, she'd pretend to hate it but always look for him when he wasn't close.
Maybe he can save her, even when she doesn't want to be saved.
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It's been one week and five days. Twelve sleepless, draining days. The night the crash happened was a Friday so we all spent the first two days after in the hospital. We ate takeout and stayed by her bedside for as long as possible until the nurses kicked us all out. Everyone except for me, Elias, Ava, Lu and Bailey left for the motel at night. Us five made camp around her bed and didn't leave the hospital until Tuesday when everyone had come back to see her after school. Mal and Kim took me, Ava and Lu home because they told us we have to go back to school.
We put up a fight but as soon as Elias got involved we all gave in only after a good argument though. School felt like a waste of time and I saw Luis skipping most lessons to hide in a spot around the back of the school. He had his new airpods in when I saw him but only one, he left the other in his palm and just stared at it. I thought it was strange but decided not to comment. He probably wouldn't answer anyway because he's only spoken to Diego and barely addy and Elias since Iris fell into a coma.
Everyone has given him space because they understand what he's going through because well, we all going through it. Ava reacted the opposite to Luis and threw herself deep into work. She barely looked up from her books and if she did it was to glare someone away. I just kind of meandered my way through the days, suddenly losing an interest in everything I once loved like hanging out with friends. The only thing that could take my mind off of it all for a while was volleyball.
My friends and my boyfriend, Luke, figured this out and made sure to help me practice as much as I wanted to. They set up matches with teams with a different mixture of our friends regularly, without me even asking and I was grateful to them, a lot. But I didn't get to share my wins or my losses with the one person I really wanted to, not properly anyway. It isn't the same when it's a one sided conversation and I don't even know if she was listening. But I still did it just in case she was.
It's now Wednesday and the tables either side of her are overflowing with cards and flowers and m&ms for when she wakes up. Diego has been making her one everyday and I think this has been especially hard for him because he doesn't understand why his beloved ris ris won't wake up and play with him. Or tell him he loves her back.
It's heartbreaking to see his face fall once more when he calls out for her and she never replies. He squeezes her hand and most of us look away with crestfallen expressions, unable to face seeing him cry again. "Mama?" He says, voice full of hope. "She can't hear you Diego" Lu tells him with a heavy sigh. He's tired of saying the same thing over and over again and his patience level has only dwindled with the lack of sleep he's been getting. The dark circles beneath his eyes attest to that as he lays a hand on Diego's shoulder.
"Why don't you put you're card up there" he suggests but Diego only denies, shaking his head.
"Mama" he repeats, staring at Iris with a determined expression. "Diego" addy warns as everyone starts to realise he's going to throw a tantrum if Iris doesn't respond to him.
"Mama!" He yells this time causing everyone to jump slightly in alarm. "Wake up!" He stamps his foot and my heart splits into two.
"Hey buddy do you want to go get some candy from the vending machine?" Elias crouches down to his level. "No. I want mama"
"Mama is sleeping right now-"
"No!" Elias sighs, running a hand through his messy hair. "Please Diego-" he's cut off as the small boy gasps, his whole face contorting from anger to excitement.
"Mama?" He squeezes her hand with wide, suddenly bright, eyes. "Awake! Mamas awake!" He cheers, jumping up and down on the spot.
"No Diego she's still sleeping" Lu shakes his head. "No" he argues, no longer mad as he shakes his head innocently. "She's awake"
"Why do you think she's awake Diego?" Mal cuts in with a curious expression. He points toward their conjoined hands.
"What about your hands?" He waves her over and she tentatively moves toward him. Once she's in reach he takes her hand and makes a show of squeezing it. Mal frowns before it dawns on her, "she squeezed you're hand?" Diego nods passionately. "No way" Malcolm breathes out with hope alight in his eyes.
"It could just be a reflex action" Lu interjects but it's too late, hope has spread like wildfire across the room and no one is willing to put it out just yet.
"Iris?" I say, taking her hand in mine. "Squeeze my hand if you can hear me" the coldness of her palm is chilling but I don't ease my grip as I pray that she squeezes my hand even slightly. Nothing happens for a few seconds and the light slowly diminishes in people's eyes. "I told you" Lu shakes his head like he knew this would happen but I saw him hold his breath just like the rest of us. "He's right" Elias mumbles, "she would of done it by now if she could-" his words are cut off as my hand is squeezed and I jump up.
"She did it! She squeezed my hand!" I all but scream, eyes glued to my palm that Iris just held back for the first time in too long.
"Do it again for me sis, just one more so I know you're really there" this time it only takes mere seconds before she applies pressure to my hand.
"Did you see that?!" I look around with joyous tears clouding my vision but I can still make out everyone's wide eyes.
"I'm getting the doctor" Elias rushes off while everyone else closes in and takes turns getting her to squeeze their hands. Somehow she manages to do it though the pressure grows less and less the more she does.
"I can see you've all heard about her improvement" doctor Millard smiles as she walks into the room with her clipboard in hand.
"Do you mind if I take a look for myself?" A path is immediately parted for her to take and she does so with swiftness. She checks her eyes and vitals before testing out iris' response herself. When she squeezes her hand on command I smile so wide it hurts. Iris is waking up!
"It appears she is in a conscious state though likely minimally, if she continues like this..." my eyes stray from the doctor as I notice Elias moving toward my sister. He cups her face and presses his forehand to hers.
"Baby we are all here for you, all you've got to do is wake up for us. I'll be here for every step of the way just please wake up" my face softens. His pain is visible and desperation palpable as he begs his true love to come back to him. If someone loved me a fifteenth of how much he loves her, I'd marry them.
"I'll be back to check on Iris later" the Doctor brings my focus back to her as she smiles and turns toward the door once more.
"See you can stop pouting now Lu, Diego was right!" Malcolm beams as he high-fives Diego and we all chuckle. "Iris is a fighter we all know it" Malcolm and his idiotic smile decide to mess with Lu even more as he pulls him into a playful headlock and ruffles his hair.
"Get your big ass off me you wild animal!" Lu struggles in his grip. "Animal? Damn can I at least be a giraffe?" I laugh at his weird as always question and the noise makes him lift his head and wink at me with the biggest smile I think I've ever seen.
"Giraffe? You can be whatever you damn want if you get your bear paws off of me!" Finally he's released and straightens himself out with his typical scowl in place. Iris would make fun or laugh at the pair if she was awake. I and the rest of the room do the latter for her.
"Bear hands? Aidan do you think I have big hands?"
"Yes" he replies without skipping a beat and 'sunshine' as Iris calls him frowns.
"Jones?"
"Positively massive" he nods.
"Jake?" The man in question only glares with a slight nod. "Okay you're all just being mean, tell me they're wrong Kim"
"You're hands are the right size," she comforts and he smiles again. "For a football player" with the last words all of the boys let out a snort including Lu. The rest of us girls chuckle at his slacked jaw. He looks like one of those cartoon characters Diego likes to watch.
"Iris if you're listening to this, which I don't doubt you are because you literally know everything all of the time, please remember to tell Kim and the rest of these idiots we've somehow managed to be friends with for so long, that lying is wrong and cruel" he talks to Iris like he's entirely convinced she'll wake up and it's only a matter of when. His positive attitude is one that helped keep the atmosphere light in here over the past week.
"I think you'll find that you're the only idiot here" Aidan retorts and Malcolm swings his gaze to him with the most sassiest attitude.
"Excuse me?" And so ensues one of their usual arguments that always ends in Aidan hitting Malcolm and then Malcolm hitting Aidan and so on and so forth. No one interferes and turn to their own conversations until a knock against the door alarms my senses.
No one else seems to have heard it so I take it as my responsibility to get up and pull open the door. An unfamiliar yet familiar couple stands just outside of the door, the woman carries a bouquet of carnations and a smile so motherly it reminds me of Iris'. The man, with striking features so similar to...Elias. Thats who this is, it's Elias' parents.
"Hi honey, I'm Mrs Jones you must be one of iris' sisters" all I can do is nod dumbly but she takes no offence nor makes fun of me for it.
"We don't want to impose but we'd love it greatly if we could see Elias and possibly Iris if you don't mind" I nod again and silently berate myself for it in my head. "Of course" I slide to the side and hold the door open for them. They enter with mr jones' arm wrapped around her waist and gracious smiles sent my way.
I follow after them and watch her call to her son,
"Elias" it takes him a minute to recognise her voice but once he does his head snaps away from Iris. "Mom? Dad?" His face conveys surprise but happiness at their arrival and the couple don't hesitate to walk to his side and wrap him up in a hug. His mom goes first and squeezes him so tight he wheezes out a laugh.
"I can't breathe mom" she doesn't listen to him and his dad steps in, "hun please don't kill our son" she shushes him but finally let's him go.
"Thanks dad" Mr Jones chuckles before giving him a short but meaningful embrace.
"How are you doing son?" He searches his eyes like he really wants to know the answer and my eyes stray from the family for a moment to look at the kids who don't have what Elias does.
Malcolm wraps an arm around his twin and messes her hair up making her eyes snap from the happy family in an instant to glare at him. Lu forces a smile to addy and Diego who he offers to buy something from the vending machine for. Ava ignores everyone else as always and works away at her maths homework due in four weeks. And finally Bailey, he smiles at the three of them sadly before his eyes catch mine.
He flicks his head, gesturing for me to come closer and I do, listening to Elias and his parents as I go. "Wait I thought you were in Paris?"
"We were but this is the earliest flight we could get home because they kept cancelling them" his mom informs him and he blinks owlishly.
"What about the big deal you were finishing?"
"This is more important" Mr Jones replied like it's the most obvious thing.
"So how is she doing?" Mrs Jones peers over at my sister as I fall into a seat beside Bailey.
"She squeezed our hands responsively and the Doctor said it was a good sign"
"This poor girl, I'm glad she's doing better" better is a poor choice of words. She's still in a coma but I get what she means and that's no harm.
"You and you're sisters are overdue a visit down my house, maybe we could take a trip there after she's back on her feet" Bailey grins at me and I nod. "I'd like that. A trip sounds nice" my eyes don't find the Jones' again until they leave an hour later and everyone else is getting ready to head off too.
"Promise to call if anything and I mean anything changes?" Bailey smiles, wrapping his pinky around mine as he has done for as long as he's been staying in the hospital with Iris.
"I promise" with a comforted nod I hug him tightly before doing the same to Elias. They wave me off as I catch up with Kim who wraps an arm around my shoulders and gives me one of her prettiest smiles. My sister has the best kind of friends. Scratch that she's created the best kind of family.