Everything was going perfectly well, Kiyotaka was about to kiss me goodbye when the sound of a photo being taken broke us out of our bubble.
When I met the eyes of the person holding a cell phone. The impact that their cold eyes being melted by the flames of hatred had on me was devastating.
I ask myself, how does it feel to have the future of the person you hate most in your hands?
I hope it's enjoyable, because I'm going to do everything I can to answer this question as personally and warmly as possible.
Suzune Horikita
That was crazy...
We'd just had a very long and tiring "goodbye" and yet there I was... throbbing and sensitive, trying at all costs to feel more of your skin on mine...
It was never enough.
The cold water running over my body made me shiver and yet I still felt on fire. There was no time to feel cold as Kiyotaka kissed, caressed and squeezed me in all the right places.
Kiyotaka turned off the shower and pushed me against the cold wall, his lips leaving mine and concentrating on my breasts. Licking, sucking and biting, I had left a mark on his neck, but Kiyotaka seemed to want to write his own name on my breasts and that's not a complaint. Ayanokouji stopped but didn't move away, I could still feel his warm breath on my flushed and sensitive skin, with his firm hands on my waist Kiyotaka moved down... his breath tickling my skin, he got down on his knees and looked at me.
"I want you to put your legs on my shoulders."
It wasn't a request and he was on his knees, it made me have conflicting feelings and sensations so I decided not to question it too much and just obeyed.
Leaning where I could.
The first caress of his tongue on me made me lose my balance and I ended up turning the shower on again, if it hadn't been for Kiyotaka's hands on my waist, I would have had a less than pleasant encounter with the tiled floor.
He waited impatiently until I signaled that I was ready and even though I wasn't, I nodded for him to continue.
I was tense, Kiyotaka's shoulders, although broad, were flat because of the water, and it was difficult to balance myself, mainly because of Ayanokouji's tongue on me. Touching, caressing, sucking and invading places I didn't know needed to be explored.
The moment was tense and torturous and yet I had never felt so... free? I wanted to scream, but I only allowed myself to raise my voice a little - the water from the shower would surely drown out the unrecognizable sounds coming from my throat.
I was almost... I was very close, my body tensing and pulsing in flames, when in one swift movement Kiyotaka put me down and stared at me for a few moments, his lips glistening with moisture, my legs barely able to support me.
"Spread your legs," those brief moments when Kiyotaka's voice lost its usual tone left me feeling completely overwhelmed and glad she wasn't always like this. "Suzune, spread your legs."
I think I've been disconfigured.
I slowly moved one leg away from the other, not too far, just enough. Kiyotaka moistened his fingers with saliva and slowly slid his fingers in, right on the spot, I squirmed feeling the warmth and wetness of his palm, but that didn't compare to what I felt when his fingers began to make precise, well-calculated circles.
No longer able to stand the torture, I began to move on his fingers, trying to force them to make the path I needed them to make, and with that I only managed to stimulate my entrance without receiving the much-desired relief, I was tired and yet I couldn't stop... and so...
"K-kiyotaka..." His dark eyes stared at me with such intensity that it was as if the expressions on my face were a spectacle he couldn't miss for a second... he was certainly torturing me... he wanted to see me beg... me?
Perhaps seeing the resistance on my face, his fingers went halfway inside me, making me almost scream. I bit my lip hard, frustration consuming me.
Humiliating.
"Please..." I whispered, pulling him to me and kissing him.
"It's our last time, right?"
He whispered against my lips. I was so confused that I didn't understand what he was getting at by asking something that had already been made clear from the start, so I just nodded helplessly.
Kiyotaka went back to work more obstinate than ever It didn't take long for my body and me to dissolve into his fingers. He pulled away a little.
"Then I won't get another chance."
He said, his eyes never leaving mine before he slipped his moist fingers into his mouth and sucked on them.
♧♤♧
I ended up wearing Kiyotaka's white dress shirt, it was so big that it looked like a short dress and one of the sleeves insisted on slipping off my shoulder.
Ayanokouji was already fully dressed, and before he could make his way towards the door Kiyotaka grabbed my waist, taking me by surprise. His face came close to mine and I didn't protest, but Kiyotaka stopped inches from my mouth at the same time as the sound of a camera flash invaded the room.
Kushida was sitting on a chair with her legs crossed, her cell phone in her hand and a devilish smile on her lips.
I froze.
"You know Horikita-san... when I saw your shoes at the entrance I wondered what you were doing here... I looked for you, but someone stopped me from digging deeper..."
Kushida cast a meaningful glance at Kiyotaka who was still holding my waist.
"I imagined all sorts of scenarios, but I would never have thought that you two were having sex"
She let out a small laugh that reverberated through every bone in my body, sending shivers down my spine.
"For two quiet people, you're pretty loud."
Kushida fiddled with his cell phone and the sound of water mixed with...
I felt my stomach turn... this was a disaster! A bomb dropped on the worst possible person!
"Why do you hate me so much?"
For a while now, Kushida's hatred of me had been bothering me, not that I was some kind of misfit, after all, people tended not to like me, (and I kind of preferred it that way) but soon they simply started ignoring me like I did myself. But Kushida didn't... she kept insisting... I'd always wondered why, but it hadn't really sunk in yet, at least not until now...
It's amazing how my mind only gave me this information too late, if I'd known about it before...
No... it's my fault, I would have remembered if I'd been more aware of my surroundings...
I was stupid.
"I'm not going to tell anyone about your past, in fact I wouldn't have remembered if you hadn't insisted so much... so why don't you delete that photo and the audio and then we'll pretend that none of this ever happened?"
"I confess that for a long time, I just wanted to know your secret so that I could defend myself."
His lips slowly quirked into a languid, exultant smile.
"But now, I have a secret, proof and someone you care about."
She replied, waving the phone and pointing at Kiyotaka. Kiyotaka's arms were no longer around me, but he hadn't completely broken contact, His hand remained on my back in a personal and consoling way.
"I clearly have the upper hand now and I don't intend to give it up, so Horikita-san... sit down and listen to my terms."
Kushida could have ended all this without us knowing right away... she'd have finished me and Kiyotaka off in one fell swoop and yet...
What do you want, Kushida?
I sat down on a narrow sofa with only two seats and crossed my legs, pretending to be calm.
Ayanokouji was quieter than usual, probably because he understood that even though he was involved, Kushida's real target was me.
This feeling of being trapped... it's excruciating. No matter how I think about it, it's deplorable.
"I want to fuck Ayanokouji, that's the price for keeping my mouth shut."
... what?
It took me a while to digest what she said... and no... no, no and no!
"Have you lost your mind?"
"I thought you hated me."
"Don't get me wrong, Ayanokouji-kun, I don't want your body, I want Horikita's reactions while I fuck you."
It was a nightmare, right? I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut tightly, but when I opened them, Kushida was still approaching, seeming to savor every second of my silent suffering.
Agonizing...
Was there really nothing I could do? It was going to happen and I was going to have to watch... the cell phone... no, surely she should have made a backup and several copies, of the audio at least.
"So Horikita-san, what are you going to do?"
Kushida asked stopping right in front of me, I really wanted to hurt her, I wanted to wipe that smile of triumph off her face, even if I had to hurt my hands to do it, but I stopped myself, any sudden movement would mean my total failure at this school.
"There's nothing to be done, right?"
I could feel the thorns in every word that came out of my mouth, my hands could be tied right now. But don't think I won't make you bitterly regret it, Kushida Kikyo.
"Ah, Horikita-san, could you fade for me?"
"What?!"
"My blouse... oh and my skirt too."
She smiled, wasn't she afraid of losing her teeth? I couldn't hold back my fists. My hand stopped so close to her face that I could feel the warmth of her skin.
Kiyotaka grabbed my wrist at the last second, my heart beating violently, I could feel all the anger coursing through my veins.
Liquid fury building up in the corners of my orbs. And then...
Kushida pressed his lips to mine, hard enough to hurt, his tongue trying to invade my mouth, and I shook my head from side to side, trying to get away.
"Don't resist and do the job I gave you"
Kushida was no longer wearing her mask, too much information. She grabbed my chin to make my jaw drop open. Kikyo's tongue invading my mouth was the most disgusting thing I've ever felt.
As tears of frustration and hatred ran silently down the corners of my eyes, I unbuttoned Kushida's uniform and her skirt. She stepped aside, signaling for me to slide the uniform over her shoulders, our busts meeting in the process.
Disgusting.
She stepped off my leg, standing up and letting her skirt slide to the floor, revealing that she had no panties on.
"Don't try anything stupid Horikita-san."
She said sweetly, walking over to Ayanokouji and sitting on his lap. She ran her tongue along Kiyotaka's neck slowly and provocatively as she looked at me, as if trying to see through me.
I was really hoping for a neutral expression on my face. I didn't want to give her that taste...
Kushida was kissing and rolling around on Kiyotaka's lap with gusto, even though his hands still remained motionless at his sides.
"You'd better start making an effort, Ayanokouji-kun."
She smiled once more against Ayanokouji's mouth. Our gazes met for a second.
I'm sorry.
That's what I wanted to say, I felt guilty. Kushida wanted to get back at me, she was doing it because she wanted to make me suffer in some way...
I could no longer watch Kiyotaka's hands running over Kikyo's smooth skin, making my stomach turn. I felt my scalp burn as Kushida grabbed my still damp hair tightly and forced me to go back to watching the scene of their bodies already prepared for penetration.
Kushida slowly climbed down.
"How does it feel to have something of yours taken Horikita-san?"
Something of mine...?
"K-kiyotaka is not mine."
It was the truth... but the words sounded like a blatant lie.
Kushida's loud moans snapped me back to reality, the knot in my stomach intensifying with every sound and every look and smile Kushida gave me.
I got up quickly and ran.
I barely managed to open the lid before all the contents of my stomach came out.
I could still hear them. So I closed the bathroom door and leaned on it. My whole body was shaking and my heart was beating strangely.
I closed my eyes trying to control my breathing, but images of Kushida and Kiyotaka came to mind.
I held my head between my hands, I wanted to scream and cry but nothing came out, I felt like I was overflowing but at the same time I felt empty.
I wanted to grieve... I just didn't know what exactly and for what I was grieving. Was it because I had learned to hate, because my future was on the line or because...
"Suzune"
The voice, muffled by the wood between us, echoed. I took a deep breath and straightened my posture.
"Is she gone?"
"Yes."
I turned to the sink and washed my face and mouth, then left. I didn't look Kiyotaka in the eye and turned away when he tried to touch me.
He didn't deserve it, I know. We were the victims and yet... the sweet, cloying scent of Kushida emanated from Kiyotaka.
Don't think, don't remember...
"You need to disinfect yourself."
Why did my voice sound so angry? Maybe my emotions had crossed the line and that's why I couldn't interpret or understand them.
Kiyotaka passed me on his way to the bathroom.
I sat on the floor and stared at the wall, my mind too noisy for me to understand anything. I awoke from my stupor when a bag containing my clothes fell into my lap.
I took off Ayanokouji's white shirt and put on the clothes he had taken from my room.
After organizing my clothes and putting them in the bag, I headed out of Ayanokouji's dorm without a single word.
I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to think, I didn't want to remember and most of all I didn't want to feel...
Our farewell didn't end as we had hoped.
Keep going.
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