I never thought I'd see a demon cry. It was like he was confused on why his eyes were wet. "How long have you known?" He brushes his fingers across the three circles that show where our children will go. The faces and names are blank.
"Before I met you I was looking in the books. And I saw the timeline. It was right after," I pause and take a shaky breath. "Well it was after David died. And I had finally worked myself up enough to open my mom's books. When I first saw it I didn't know what it meant. I thought it was wrong. It wasn't until a month after I met you that I finally let it click. I just didn't think to tell you. I'm not sure why."
When he looked up his tears ran down his face. "Do you believe it now? Or do you still have doubts?" His voice shook with uncertainty. Like he was scared of my answer. I kneeled down and put my hand on his cheek.
His wings relaxed like he was holding tension in them. "Levi. There is no doubt in my mind that if a demon can have a mate, be worthy enough to have a mate, then we can work through our troubles and have kids. I was coming in here to tell you I was sorry for storming out the way I did. Sometimes I forget you have troubles of your own. And that I have to try just as hard as you to make this work."
After my little rant his eyes softened and he put his hand on top of mine on his cheek. Without a word he stood up, pulling me with him, and wrapped his arms around me. His wings engulfed us like they were a second pair of arms. This is the first time he held me. It's the first time he's looked at me like a mate and not some random person he's just training.
After a few seconds of marveling at the softness and warmth is wings bring he pulls back and places his hand on the side of my neck. "I don't understand what made me worthy of a mate. I know I'm not like other demons. But I do know I'm nowhere near worthy enough to have a mate like you Nova. I'm so sorry I'm not good enough for you. You're beautiful, kind, smart, strong emotionally and physically. And now I'm finding you're wise, too. I just don't deserve you. But I will be. I'll make myself worthy for you."
"Levi-" he cut me off with his lips crashing into mine. Sparks erupted in my stomach. His tail wrapped around my butt and pulled me closer. His lips tasted like mint and chocolate. Almost like his sweet smell.
I wrap my hands around his neck and let myself be trapped in time. He lets me go and looks into my eyes. "Im sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I was an ass earlier and you didn't deserve it. What were you trying to tell me? What will help us in this mess?"
He stayed quiet as he waited for me to speak up. I swallow the lump in my throat and take a step back. "Well, Sky has been showing me a few things when we would have some alone time."
"Ok. So what could y'all have been doing that can help with the royals situation?"
I fiddle with my fingers as I thought of how to tell him. "Maybe it's easier to just show you." I took a few more steps back and take a breath. I don't understand why I'm so nervous.
I shift into fox form and sit down. This takes lots of concentration. I only just started being able to do it. I close my eyes and feel the magic of the white foxes run through me. I push my mind to think of brown fur. I think of my eyes as a brown color. I can feel the colors course through my body and run along my white fur. My eyes stung as they changed, causing me to open my eyes then squeeze them shut. When the burning dissipates I see Levi looking at me with curiosity.
"Wow." Is all he mutters. I stand up and do a little trot around him. He keeps his eyes on me and turns his head with my movement. When I'm standing in front of him again he bends down and leans his arm on his knee. "Were all white foxes able to do this?"
I nod my head and feel the white start to overpower the brown. I close my eyes and will the brown back. I can't do it for too long. But long enough to show the royals I'm not white. Hopefully by the time we make it to the royal wolves then I'll be able to hold it a lot longer.
I feel a hand on my head and look up to Levi, making me lose my concentration and the white comes back full force. "How long have you been practicing this?" I tilt my head in thought and shift back to my human form. I'm kneeling on the floor with Levi's hand still on my head.
"I'm not sure. A few weeks? It's hard to keep the color on my fur but considering I could only make the tip of my nose change means I'm making progress right?"
"Your eyes are still brown." Levi observed. His hand caressing my cheek. I smile slightly and nod. "Yeah. I finally look normal, huh?"
He frowns and looks deeper into my eyes. "I like how it was before. Like the forget me nots and the prettiest of lilacs are fighting for control. It's like an amazing bouquet of blue and purple flowers." I let my eyes change back and squeeze them from the burn. When I open them again a smile lifts Levi's cheek.
"That's better."
Red rushes to my cheeks and stand up to give us some space. Clearing my throat, I try to direct the attention off my eyes and back to the problem at hand. "Well, now you know. So do you think it will help us? I mean I can't hold it long enough for me to stay brown the whole run but at least for when they ask me to shift and see my fur color. And if the fox royals do recognize me or put together who my mom is then at least they will only know my bloodline and not that I'm white."
He sits on the couch and grabs the first book in his sight. "Yeah. We can incorporate it in our training so you can get better at it and during our run to the royals. Hopefully by the time we get there you will have mastered it." He lazily flips through pages. "Also can you change your color to anything or is it just brown?"
I sit next to him and place my feet on the table. "Well I can do other colors but they are harder. I can make my eyes green like my mom's but they hurt worse than the brown. And if I do other colors, like blue or green, for my fur then the white shows throughout it. So I focused on brown to practice and figured after I managed that then I could practice other colors in spare time. I can make them anything I want as long as I practice."
He seemed in thought as he stayed silent. After a few minutes he sets the book down and faces me. "Well I guess let's start tomorrow. I'm sure you need a rest and judging my the sweat on your forehead that takes a lot out of you. So go ahead and rest now. I'll go talk to Cane about all this and we can come up with a strategy for this trip."
He stands up and kisses the top of my head on his way out.
I wait until his footsteps fade to let the tension out of my shoulders. What was that? He's never done that before. He likes my eyes? And what was that KISS? It's always been train, rest, study. Nothing more. He's definitely never looked at me like that. Ugh. I wish I can read minds so I can know what was going on in his.
It was almost like...
Like how David looked at me...
I thought demons couldn't love? So why was there so much love in his eyes?
After my internal freak out I stand up and grab all the royal books. I better start studying so I know more about these people. I can at least learn their names.
~a few hours later~
The wolf book felt heavy in my hand. I was slowly dozing off, but kept myself awake. Just one more page I kept telling myself. That was 8 pages ago.
Cane tried telling me to go to bed, but I told him I was fine and was going in a few minutes anyway. I think that was 30 minutes ago. I'm not sure where Levi went. He might have went to the demon realm. Either way he hasn't shown back up in here since the kiss.
Maybe if I just close my eyes for a second they wont burn as bad.
The trees sway in the breeze and the air is calm. It's almost like something is making it calm. It feels unnatural. I take a moment to look around and see David.
He's waving at me. He has a big smile on his face. I run to him and slam my body into his as he envelops me in a hug. As I let go to look at him he falls to the ground. I fall with him due to his arms being around me. When I sit up and look at him his neck is at a strange angle and his eyes are open in horror. Westley is standing behind him with a wicked grin on his face.
I scream and shuffle myself backwards. My head shakes as tears stream down my face.
I jump as I wake up, feeling a soft blanket slid from my shoulders. The lights have been turned off and the books have been put away neatly. The curtains allowed the smallest bits of light to stream into the room.
I sit up and stretch my arms. I must have fallen asleep reading. I look at the clock on the wall and see its 8 in the morning. I wonder if Levi is back yet.
The floors creak as I step down the hall. I step into the kitchen and grab an apple. The coffee pot steams with fresh coffee. As I'm fixing me a cup a voice makes me jump.
"I was thinking you'd want some." Adam's sheepish smile told me he was sorry for scaring me. I smile at him and finish's fixing my cup.
"Thanks. I really needed this." I took a sip and grabbed my apple again.
"Now don't tell Cane but I don't think that's a balanced breakfast." He jokes.
"It's ok. I got my fruit, dairy, and sugar. Balanced enough I'd think." I held my apple in my mouth and started pulling pancake mix and bowls out of the cabinet. "You think the guys want pancakes or waffles?" I say through the apple.
He chuckles and grabs the bowls from my hands. "I think they will love either." He starts grabbing bacon and eggs, knowing I will make a full breakfast for everyone.
After we make breakfast and call everyone down, we let everyone dig in. I walk to the back porch and see a pack of cigarettes on the railing. It's tempting, but I don't take one. I did have a problem when I lived with Westley, but I do have self control. I also find myself wanting to drink like I did back then.
When Westley would make me drink I would hate it. But I guess some of it stuck.
I bounce down the steps and walk to the woods. The trees feel still and my mind drifts to my dream. I chill runs through me and I let it roll off. It's just a dream. A stupid trauma response.
I shift and run to the lake closest to the pack house. It's where Levi met Westley. I come here to calm down sometimes. To remind myself that Westley is dead. He can't kill anyone I love again. He can't hurt me.
My reflection ripples as I look into the water. It's calm and soothing. Nothing like the pack house, which is full of life and loud. I love the pack, but it's just too much. Like when they eat breakfast. They are very loud and just a lot sometimes. Just today Austin was having all the guys roaring in laughter while he was catching grapes in his mouth.
Such simple creatures. But they are so compassionate and thoughtful of others. I wonder if all wolves are this way or it's just this pack.
"Simple creatures huh?" I jump at Levi's voice. When he sees the fear I quickly hide his eyes soften. "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."
I relax and look back at my reflection. 'How did you know what I was thinking?'
"I figured out that if I have good intentions, or at least don't have bad intentions then I can break through your barrier."
'How long ago have you figured that out?' I trot to him and shift back to my human form.
"Well, definitely before the kiss." He smirks. My cheeks burned and I dipped my head in embarrassment.
"So you could read my mind then?"
"Yeah," he chuckled, "I also could tell what you were thinking long before that."
"So why did you wait so long to tell me?" I felt my anger grow. He's been doing it this whole time and not once told me?
"Now, now. Don't get mad, my love. I just didn't think it was something worth telling." He grabs my hips and pulls me to him. "I'm sorry, darling. Forgive me."
I lay my head on his chest and his wings encase us. "It's fine." I sigh as he rubs my back with the tips of his fingers. "So did you need something or were you just looking for me for the hell of it?"
"Eh, just a fun game of find the mate." We both chuckle and he lets me go.
"Are you ready to begin training or do you need a little while alone?" He asked with a curiosity. I was a little taken aback by his question. Usually he just tells me to come on and begin. "I told you. I'm no longer doing things to hurt you. I will try my best to be worthy for you."
I smile up at him and nod my head. "I'm ready now. I've had enough time alone."
We walk back to the pack house in silence. When we get to the tree line I break it. "So what are we training for? Endurance? Strength? Stamina?" He shakes his head.
"Nope. Nope. Nope. Color." We get to the back door and he opens the door for me. "You said it takes a lot of concentration and when we get to the royal houses we will have to walk in human. Only then will you be able to shift. But it has to be in front of them. So we have to work on you being brown when you shift already."
He grabs a few waters out of the fridge and a small insulated bag to keep them in. "Now I know right now you take a few seconds to think and concentrate and get the image of a brown fox in your head. So maybe we need to have you look at a whole bunch of brown fox pictures and have the image in your head before you shift."
He walks outside and I follow behind him. "I thought you said we were going look at different pictures? Why are we going outside? The library is inside."
"Ok library mouse. Have you ever heard of the internet? You don't need books. Besides, we need you to be in any environment to shift while already being brown."
"Library mouse?"
"It's Romanian. It's another word for your, what do you call it?" He thinks for a second and it seems to click in his head. "Book worm. It's another word for book worm." He smiles at his accomplishment and walks into the yard.
"Now stop being distracted and come train. I have water and a snack so you have no excuse for a break. Other than fatigue, of course."
He motions for me to come closer and for the next 3 days we train harder than I've ever trained before.