(A/N:: This chapter is completely a flashback chapter. Specially the incidents happened just after Jimin's death (fake obviously bruh..)....
I wanted to show how things settled between them.)
That day when Yoongi abruptly left the hospital, denying to see his siren for the last time, a part of him rejected every thought that his siren is dead. His logical part was pushing the thought over the edge that he is just weak and can't accept the truth.
He harshly took the keys from Namjoon and drove himself to his apartment.
He didn't even realise how he kept himself enough sane to be driving but he did.
He was angry, the anger was burning him, was consuming every fiber of his being.
He wanted to go to that bastard, the siren who had the audacity to fucking leave him.
He was sure, if Jimin was standing infront of him that day, he would have killed him for a second time for pulling a dirty joke on him.
How dare he, huh??? How dare he thinks that it's so easy to leave Yoongi behind and run away!?
He will never fucking forgive him.
Never.
When he reached his apartment and stormed inside he yelled the name of his siren.
"Jimin!!!" The voice echoed through the empty apartment.
But his anger wasn't registering it.
"Jimin!!! We need to talk...." He huffed out, each moment his breathe getting heavier.
A part of him knows and realising each passing second that there is no one in this empty apartment.
Dead or Alive, his siren is gone.
No!!! No!!! No!!!!
He fucking can't.
"Why you did this, Jimin?????
Whyyyy?????"
He choked on his words.
He tries to keep his anger in check, but the bubble seeping in him kept increasing, swallowing him whole.
"You hate me that bad, Jimin?????
You hate me this much?????" He chuckled darkly.
He felt his throat his dry, parched, his lips getting dry.
He poured himself a glass of water.
But the moment he raises it to his lips, somehow he can't push it down his throat. His hands started trembling.
He felt like, a voice is constantly screaming near his ears that it is his fault.
That's it's his fucking fault.
The face flashed infront of his eyes.
That day, right here in this apartment.
If he had stopped him, if he rather than standing on his ego would have hold Jimin and had tried in a soft way....
If he didn't loose his fucking mind....
That day, he knew Jimin was broken.
He could have reached towards him, he could have offered him a hand.
But still he chose to stand on his ground.
It wasn't new to him that Jimin is stubborn, it wasn't new to him that Jimin doesn't easily bend on other's will.
He chose to love that person.
Then when he suddenly became so egoistic to just let him go?????
He throws the glass over the wall next to him and the glass gets crushed into hundreds of broken pieces.
Is that how it feels??? When your heart is broken!?
He felt his phone vibrating in his denim's pocket too many times.
But he doesn't give a fuck anymore.
His breathe got heavier and heavier until he felt his knees are going weak.
He crouched down and then just sits on the floor, knees near his chest as he buries his head down.
The pain is too much, it's pricking his skin, burning and consuming him.
"Why Jimin??? Why you hate me so much???"
He mumbled brokenly when he felt tears streaming down his cheeks.
He didn't knew when minutes became hours and without even his knowledge it was morning.
The whole night he kept sitting on the kitchen floor, rocking himself, trying to ground himself.
A part of him was making fun of himself, chuckling and pointing out how much of a looser he is.
How Min Yoongi, who became too confident, too high nosed after getting a successful business couldn't even save the person he loved so dearly.
Another part of him is too convinced that his siren is not gone, he is somewhere out there. He is alive somewhere.
His heart is screaming it will know if he was really gone, which he isn't.
That part of him is putting too much resistance to all the logics.
And in between that, Min Yoongi feels like breaking, he feels like screaming. All the constant voices are making his mind and ears numb.
He is sitting on the floor but a whole war in going inside him
He doesn't know which side he is on, but it's too much.
Sometimes his heartbeat quickens, his breathe gets heavier to the point he feels he can't breathe properly. He hunches over the floor, trying to grip the cold surface.
His heart beating in such a way that it hurts.
It feels like it will feel better if it doesn't beat anymore.
But suddenly a memory flashed through his mind.
More than a year ago, when Jimin hugged him at the same place when he was utterly broken.
He was broken over the fact that he wasn't able to save and keep his family safe in the past, when a sudden thought that he is not a good son and he was unable to keep his father safe. That he was never a good brother.
That he was incompetent, that he was a coward.
That he chose to avoid all of it and run away from his fears and conflicts, that he always took the easy way out.
His breathe started to calm down gradually, as if he felt the same fingers carding through his hair as if he nearly heard that voice speaking,
"You are not weak, Yoongi. People are just different and we fight and struggle in different ways.
You didn't ran away, you didn't escape. You stood on your grounds, you grew up, you grew up to be strong. You didn't give up. You ensured that you do best for the people you love."
He still remember the warm hands against his cheeks, thumb bracing the corner of his faded scar.
"You are strong, so strong. Maybe more than me. You maybe embraced your scars better than me. You chose to live and love people, trust people again.
It was hard Yoongi. I know.
But still you chose it. And you are here now."
Yoongi wanted to debate, he wanted to oppose the words Jimin spoke but even before he could do that the man spoke softly this time,
"Sometimes even if we try our best, we can't stop what's going to happen or what's happening.
Maybe that's what destiny and fate is.
I can't say I love destiny but I don't hate it either.
It's just we can be at the top of the world, bend the world at it's knees and still become powerless to fate.
So don't blame yourself.
Okay????
You have done great & you will do great."
Yoongi doesn't know if his mind is going insane or he is becoming way too delusional but he could feel the same soft touches against his skin, the warmth of his siren as he entwined their fingers, his hands against his cheeks.
He wanted to lean into the touch, he want take deep breath and inhale the scent of his siren.
Anything, he needed anything that can ground him.
When the morning becomes noon, his phone vibrates again.
Reluctantly he took his phone out, only to see the text that the cremation is done.
He threw the phone against the floor not even minding if it broke the screen.
(A/N :: Don't worry, our Galaxy king can get a galaxy phone instantly.)
Next some days were hell for him. He didn't had the energy to get out of his bed.
He laid there, his body too tired from all the internal battles.
His heart felt empty, utterly empty. It felt like someone took out a big chunk and forgot to replace it with something and the edge around the void is pricking and itching. There is a deep need to fill the void, but he doesn't know in which way.
The condition of his room triggers him in a different way, the way Jimin's essence has been gone is reminding him of his absence more.
After a day when he felt he couldn't take it anymore, he made a mess. He took whatever stuff Jimin left behind to throw all over the place even if it's just his work files and documents.
And after that he was in denial, in every kind of denial.
He would yell to the void of the apartment,
"Jimin!!!! Why you make a mess everytime??? How many times I have told you to keep things at their places."
Sometimes when he stumbled over something he just yelled,
"Your mess will someday kill me, Jimin."
A sharp pang he felt inside his chest.
He poured himself glasses of whiskey at nights, he never counted them.
The haze of alcohol made it easier for him to believe the lies he was weaving for himself to believe. He weaved the lie that Jimin was still with him, he weaved the lie that Jimin was just away for some work.
But sometimes the same haze of alcohol will make the harsh truth creeping on his skin, make him bleed from all the logics and all the thoughts that he couldn't save the one he loved.
He promised his mother that he will keep son of Park Hye Soo safe from everything, that he will look after him.
He promised Park Hye Soo that he will take care of his son, the way she took care of Yoongi.
But in the end Min Yoongi became the reason for everything.
It was better if Jimin held a dagger at his throat. It was more bearable than this.
Whenever he made coffee he poured into two cups, their couple coffee cups, yelling to the empty void that he kept the coffee at the kitchen counter.
And he would again complain when he will see the cold coffee sitting there.
"How much careless you are Jimin!!!!"
Every night he tries to video call to his id. He lets it ring until it gets disconnected.
"Maybe he is busy." He whispers to himself.
It's a very normal routine to him for the times when Jimin was away.
He puts out text in their chat-box about very trivial stuffs. Sometimes that he maybe that he misses him.
A week or maybe more than a week was passed in his haze.
His conflict grew more and more. But his instincts didn't step down from their beliefs.
The belief that he is alive.
He didn't have a single proof or a single hint why he thinks that way.
He pushed himself more away from reality.
He filled the empty shelves of his wadrobe where there used to be Jimin's stuffs with his stuffs and his photos.
People may have called him mad when he ordered so many photoframes. But he needed to distract himself.
Going through their shared memories, laughing and smiling at them, choosing the ones he wants to see everyday was a great distraction for him.
A part of him was so excited to show this to his siren.
He pushed the reality deep into his mind.
He printed those pictures out, put those in little frames and put it at all the places that felt empty.
Jimin used to fight about how some places inside the house like some shelves and cupboards belongs to just him to which Yoongi opposed too much saying they share everything.
But now he just accepted every claim of his siren.
All those belong to Only him.
Maybe this whole heaven belonged to him.
Min Yoongi belonged to just him.
But when he was done, all those empty space adorned by smiling faces of his siren, his heart suddenly clenched.
He felt like someone twisted a dull knife into his chest. He crashed on the floor, the void was too much to feel. Tears was streaming down his cheeks on their own accord.
"Please come back Jimin. Hmm??
Please come back." That's all he could mutter into the emptiness.
Next, when he felt the emptiness is getting too much and the need to lean into the fading touch is torturing him, he did something very foolish. He ordered all the perfumes he ever seen Jimin used.
From his favourite to something he used to be comfortable, to something which is so warm that it lulls him to sleep.
It felt like with each passing day their heaven was growing cold. The season of the outside world didn't matter, but in their heaven it's harsh winter.
Yoongi shivered and trembled there.
A warmth was needed, he needed a warmth which even the thickest blankets couldn't provide anymore. Everything is just cold.
So when he smelled the similar fragrance in they air of then heaven.
He felt comforted. He felt the gentle touch of his siren over his skin. After three weeks of insomnia, he finally fell asleep.
Everything was fine, he was inside his bubble and he was okay.
He was happy waiting for his siren.
He was happy to wait for his siren
But then Seokjin just barged in.
Yoongi has put a request to his apartment security that no one is allowed to meet him.
But fuck that.
Hyowon owns the building and being the nosy friend, Seokjin was banging on his door as if hells crashed on them.
Yoongi opened the doors reluctantly,
"What do you want???" He asked.
But Seokjin just pushed him aside and walked into his apartment.
"Oh my god!!!" He was shocked to see the mess, his eyes were wide but he looked at Yoongi, intendly scanning him head to toe. Even Yoongi fidgeted under his gaze, itching the back of his neck.
"What???"
Seokjin sighed deeply shaking his head.
"You are not staying here a day anymore. Go back to your mansion. Don't come back until three days."
"I don't want to." Yoongi shrugged walking through the mess.
"I am not asking you Yoongi. I am telling you."
Yoongi groaned, he even whinned that he doesn't want to leave. But Seokjin just pushed him outside his the apartment and locked it.
Yoongi got out of his apartment quite reluctantly.
He didn't want to go to his mansion. He didn't want to stand infront of his mother is such a vulnerable state specially when he dissspointed her greatly.
He knows even after that his mother will support him and understand him which will hurt more.
So first thought came was to visit the beach, where Jimin too him.
And when he was there a thought dawned upon him.
Jimin said, Yoongi will know if something really happened.
He will feel it. And if he doesn't feel it then things are okay.
His whole existence wanted to rely just on those words. A part of him started believing Jimin said those on purpose, letting him know what's coming.
Three days later when he came back, for a moment he was shocked.
He wasn't just shocked by the way his apartment was arranged, he was also shocked to see the people waiting there for him.
A guilt washed over him again when he saw Jungkook is standing in the middle of the room. His eyes round and wide, looking at Yoongi with some unreadable expressions.
Yoongi wanted to apologise to him, he wanted to tell him that he is sorry that he was unable to keep safe his only family.
"Jungkook...."
But before Yoongi could think of the words Jungkook walked upto him taking him for a tight hug.
"I am sorry Hyung. I am really sorry.
I said too much hurtful things to you. Can you please forgive me hyung??? Please!!!"
"Jungkook... You don't need to be sorry. You said nothing wrong.
I could have..."
"I should have trusted you. Hyung asked me to trust you. And I should trust you."
"But..... Is it important anymore?? I mean...."Yoongi trailed off pulling back from the hug.
"Hyung!! Please forgive me atleast!?" He pleaded.
"Jungkook, you don't need to apologise." But when he looked at the younger, tears breaming in the corners of his eyes, he said again,
"I forgave you long ago."
The boy sighed in relief and uttered a thank you. Then suddenly he perked up a bit,
"I don't know if you will be happy or broken to hear this but I want to talk about something."
Yoongi raises his eyebrows looking around the room. Everyone is looking at Yoongi.
"What?? What happened??" He panicked.
A voice came from the farthest corner of the room.
"We all think Jimin is alive."
It's Taehyung standing with his back facing them. Yoongi could see how he is looking at a picture of Jimin kept there.
Yoongi looked around looking at other's expression, but the way everyone is calm it makes Yoongi restless.
"What!! What do you mean??" Yoongi asks frowning.
When Taehyung turned towards him, it was another punch to his gut.
The boy he always saw smiling with cheerful eyes have solemn expression on his face, eyes that lost his cheerful gleam.
He felt guilty, he should have remembered that he is not the only one who was suffering from the loss.
There were people around him struggling with the same thing.
"We need to talk." Taehyung stated firmly arms folded over the chest.
After sometime when everyone settled into the living room, Jungkook spoke first.
"I should have mentioned it first but initially I was so lost that everything slipped my mind." He spoke a bit guilty.
Seokjin shook his head,
"That's understandable. The circumstances weren't great. So go ahead."
"When he was taken to the hospital and after going through everything that survived the fire of the car, I found some important things that belonged to him was missing."
"Like???" Yoongi asked.
Jungkook looked at him straight. Yoongi felt like his gaze is telling him that Yoongi knows what is that.
"His pheonix pendent and his ring." He states quite firmly.
The little hope that was seeping in his heart, like a warmth that was slowly spreading inside his way too cold body, he felt like someone again poured buckets of cold water over him.
He sighed.
"He didn't have that, Jungkook." He spoke like a whisper.
Hearing that Jungkook and Taehyung frowned.
"What do you mean???" Taehyung asks.
"Last time I saw him...." Yoongi took a deep breath as he kept fidgeting with his fingers,
"I mean the last time when he came here to talk about stuffs, he didn't have those!"
He sighed out of dissspointment.
The younger pair exchanged a look among them as if trying to gauge the situation.
It's Taehyung who spoke first.
"But he had those when he left for Busan." He states simply.
"& He had those when I met him at Busan for the.... For the last time." Jungkook finished.
Yoongi's head snapped up trying to make sense of the words the other two are speaking.
"You mean...." He mumbled.
"When he left for Busan, he looked troubled and to be honest gravely sad and broken.
He asked me to wait here until he comes back. But I just.... I just couldn't." Jungkook shook his head.
"So I went to Busan.
He was angry to see me there. We had a fight. He said no one trusts or believes him. But soon he cooled down too. We talked and then he said he will come back after two days. So I came back.
So when I was there he had those, I mean he was wearing those as always." He looks at Yoongi now.
Oh god, Yoongi should have understood that. He did that consciously to make Yoongi feel he himself wanted a way out and Yoongi would give him that.
And exactly that's what happened.
Thr realisation dawned on him as a slap straight on his face.
Everything was carefully curated and Yoongi was too busy to deal with his ego.
For hell's sake, Fuck you Jimin.
"Jimin came to meet me, just before he left for Busan." Taehyung spoke lowly.
"We talked about stuffs. I don't know what exactly happened or what was the reason you two suddenly decided it's great to break up but I hate you fucking both." The frustration is prominent in his voice.
"But as Jungkook said, yes he had those with him and I don't think he threw those away."
Yoongi closed his eyes, leaning into the warmth of that information, the slight warmth of hope that Jimin is alive.
"Also...." Taehyung continued,
"His pheonix lighter is also not there."
Yoongi opened his eyes, a shock settling in his system.
The World can fell apart, he can even throw away the pheonix pendent but Yoongi knows Jimin can't throw away the pheonix lighter.
For him, it's his mother's memory.
For him it's his solace.
It's his identity and everything.
And the rest of the four in the room knows Jimin would have kept that till his end moment.
So, No!!!
That means,
Oh God....
"Also, after going through his stuffs here we are sure his passport and some more things are also missing.
Someone who is just going to Busan should not be carrying his passport for that."
Taehyung stated calmly but there was a underlying restlessness in his voice.
Before he could organise his thoughts Namjoon spoke this time,
"I don't know if it was right thing for me to do but...." For a moment he kept his silence.
"When you left the hospital..." he looked at Yoongi,
"Saying you just can't believe that it's Jimin, something stirred in me.
It was Hyowon's medical centre so I asked someone trusted to keep DNA samples of the body.
After a week, when things cooled down I sent the sample to test.
Fortunately or I don't know unfortunately, when you asked me to check if Jimin's DNA matches with the one which matches with one found at those place where we found those people dead, I asked the lab to keep a record of it if in future we need to check again.
So the results came after three days and it's said the two doesn't match.
Now we have no doubt for the first one to be Jimin's...
So...."
Yoongi felt dizzy, his head is feeling way too dizzy under all the information.
His siren is alive.
Somewhere his Siren is alive.
He gasped when the realisation hitted him properly.
"Why you didn't tell me before???" There is a hint of accusation in his voice.
"Hyung, we didn't want to..." Jungkook tries but Taehyung cuts him with a cold voice,
"We didn't know if you would like to know it. You literally didn't receive a single call from us or checked what we texted you."
For that part, yes what's Taehyung saying is true. He didn't.
Taehyung continued,
"I didn't know if you would be happy or sad to hear this news.
None of us knew if you felt relieved or broken when Jimin is gone." His voice is bitter, more bitter than Jungkook that day.
"Taehyung...." Seokjin warned.
But Taehyung didn't care.
"You had the most access to him." He pointed to Yoongi, eyes nearly burning his whole existence.
"And still.... Still you let him go. Didn't you know what he does, when he chooses such kind of way???
You are well aware of it.
Have you really lost your mind!???
The day when he literally broke up with you, still it didn't hit your senses hyung???
Have you ever asked yourself, why he did that????
Cause if you decided to believe his words, then maybe you too also wanted to run away from him. Cause if you pushed him too, then maybe I support his decision, hyung.
So it's your time to choose.
You can either believe that he is gone maybe not dead but gone and you are relieved to let him go and you want to move on with your life.
I will respect that decision of yours, everyone here will respect your decision.
Or you can...."
"I choose the second Taehyung...." He spoke, voice authorative and firm.
"You didn't even hear the option, hyung." He spoke.
Maybe today Yoongi understands why Hyowon's employees fear Taehyung.
"I don't need to."
Taehyung relaxes a bit, nods his head in agreement.
Seokjin spoke this time,
"I talked with your mother yesterday. She told me that you believed the same, that's why we decided to tell you."
Yoongi just sighed, now relaxed in his seat.
But Seokjin asked this time,
"Can you tell us why you believed he is alive, Yoongi!?"
Yoongi looked at him a bit shakily. He didn't have any proper reason to believe like them.
It's just Whatever scattered pieces of his words his brain twisted to believe into something.
But he decided to tell them, he knew they will not judge them.
He told them how he told him that if something happens he will feel it, and if he doesn't then it's fine, he is fine.
He told them how he told him to take care of Jungkook in his absence.
And in response to that everyone exchanged a look.
Each one of them shared the same words as if Jimin has asked them to look after each other.
Yoongi cursed at his siren internally.
He fucking planned everything.
Seokjin spoke just then,
"I think he felt something is at stake here. Or maybe there are people around us who are probably creating a danger or maybe betraying us.
I think we need to be discreet. Like we don't suspect anything around us."
"What if he is in danger???" Yoongi asked.
Jungkook responded to that,
"Hyung to be real, yes it can happen but I think it's not that. I think if he planned his own death then I think it's not him who is in danger. He carefully planned it for something for sure. Also if he was in danger then maybe one of us would be threatened with that."
"Also there is this thing..." Namjoon intervened.
"Even though Alessia Jung came for the funeral with her husband, his son Jung Hoseok didn't come. I find it suspicious.
The relationship they had, that wasn't just work. So I can't quite reason why someone would not come to such a important occasion."
Jungkook nodded,
"Yeah I called him. Yes he sounded weird and absurd. He sounded low for sure but it didn't feel like it's from Jimin hyung's death.
It felt like something else."
"So we need to pretend??" Yoongi asked straight.
He can understand where everything is heading too.
Taehyung got up from his seat and looked around the room as he nodded.
"Yes we need to pretend. As per Jimin's decision soon Yoongi hyung will be called to join as the board member of Jimin's company."
Yoongi frowned slightly at his words,
"Yes... Jungkook still didn't put the request to change the ownership. It will allow hyung to look into the people there and maybe also sense if something is wrong. But you two needs to do something."
He points at Yoongi and Jungkook.
"Act like we are having problems??" Yoongi asked a bit lowly.
"Yes, act like you two can't stand eachother. Choose whatever reason you want to.
But act like you two hate each other. Once you do that you will see real faces of people. Some will even play a double face to two of you and some will make you two hate eachother more.
Some may just choose one team.
It would be easier for us to get to those people who are reason for this."
The hint of anger was prominent when he spoke the last words.
"Also I guess it's better for Yoongi Hyung to pretend like you are gradually moving on from Jimin. That may pull some more veils off.
Seokjin hyung and Namjoon hyung also needs to be discreet in this matter."
Everyone agreed to the pact.
They needs to find Jimin, and they will do everything for it.
(So it's a flashback chapter.
I don't know why I find myself so comfortable to write vulnerable scenes but yeah.
I am kinda tired but next chapter will be updated soon enough. I know I was gone for sometime.
I will try to update some chapters soon.
Life is too hard nowadays.
Really too hard. To be honest I am loosing hope slowly sometimes.
But I feel maybe good days will come soon too.
Take love.)