"Sana sapat na yan para hindi lumabas ang tungkol dito."
"Wala po problema sir, basta sa sunod hindi na mauulit dahil kami ang mananagot."
"Salamat."
I heard daddy talking to the police officer, we're here at the hospital because of Nam my cousin, medyo malala ang natamo nya buti nalang naagapan ng doctor
The leader of Monspat Clan hit her nose too hard
I'm waiting here outside the ICU sitting on the bench, ang malas lang namin ni nam dahil nahuli kami ng mga pulis
Napahilamos ako sa mukha ng maalala ang nangyari sa Alabaman
Ang layo ng expectations ko sa pagtutuos na nangyari samin ng leader nila mosco which is her sister
FUCK THAT GIRL
Napahawak ako sa puson ko dahil maynaramdaman akong kakaiba habang nakapatong sya sakin
If that's the way she fight?
dapat matakot na ako, ugh she harassed me and I hate it at yung kagat nya sa leeg ko? My god.. I wanna pull her hair and beat her ass off
The way she move on top of me.. I feel strange
like aroused or something
aroused?
SHIT SHIT SHIT
tumaas ang balahibo ko at pilit na inalis sa isip ang nangyari
"Gusto kong magalit." baritonong bigkas ni papa na ikinatakot ko
"Ah-ahm I'm sorry papa." yumuko ako at handa na mapagalitan
he kneeled Infront of me and touch my face caressing my cheek using his thumb
"I'm so proud of you." he said
My eyes widened
"Da-daddy?"
"You're the leader? what's your Clan name?"
I frowned
wala naman pangalan ang clan nabuo lang talaga kami ng Hindi sinasadya at dahil nauso ang clan sa mga kabataan ngayon, nawili kaming gumawa ng sariling grupo
but it against the eyes of everyone specially sa mga police, Marami na kasing masasama na Clan at mga nagbabasag ulo
Mosco clans name Monspat?
hayss wala nakong maisip
"It's Samon Clan dad."
he smiled at me
sa dinami dami ng mga bagay na ginagawa ko maging proud lang sya dito pa talaga
"Ano napuruhan mo ba kalaban nyo? nasuntok mo ba?" tuwang tanong nya
Tumango ako
"Oh that's my boy-"
"Dad-"
"shh just don't tell your mom about this okay?."
Niyakap nya ako at hinalikan pa sa ulo
"I believe in my beliefs son, hindi ako mag mamadali, alam kong unti unti mo palang natutuklasan ang totoong ikaw."
Tumingin ako sa labas ng bintana ng hospital at ang lakas ng ulan sa labas
Lord bakit?
bakit kailangan ko pang maghirap ng ganito alam ko sa puso ko na babae ako
putangina may dede nga ako eh
"Oh san galing toh?" galit na tanong ni papa ng mapansin ang sugat sa leeg ko
fuck
naalala ko nanaman yung kakaibang pakiramdam ng pumatong yung rapist na babae kanina
babae ako sa katawan, sa boses at sa mga gusto na bagay ng tunay na babae
ang naiba lang talaga yung sex organ, lalaking lalaki I'm not Hermaphrodite na sinasabi nilang intersex dahil ang akin normal, hindi dalawang gender dahil isa lang talaga
"The girl did that, the leader of the other clan."
Nawala yung galit sa mukha nya
______Flashback______
"Mommy why my hair is not like the other girl outside?"
"Baby... dahil lalaki ka at babae sila." sabi ni mommy habang pinapaliguan ako
"but mommy I wanted to be like them."
"Ano kaba Samian! wag na wag mong babanggitin ang mga toh sa harap ng daddy mo."
I pouted and look outside the window
lahat ng gamit ko panglalaki at ayoko ng mga yun, naiinggit ako sa ibang mga bata na nagagawa nila mga gusto nilang suotin at laruan
"Mommy look, I look like a girl why you can't see that."
"Sam"
"Mom don't you guys love me? mommy I'm not happy."
I saw that there's a tear coming out in her eyes
___
"Namy can I borrow your Ipad? I wanna play barbie."
she laughed at me and pinch my cheeks
"Yes samsam."
I hugged her
"Bakit kasi hindi ka magpabili sa mommy mo?"
"Ayaw ni daddy he just want me to play basketball."
"Hays ang pangit naman ng daddy mo.. basta ibalik mo agad yan ah."
"Thanks Namnam."
I kept jumping and raising the Ipad
I was so happy and bring Nams iPad in my room
but my daddy saw what I was playing when I go to the bathroom
"Anong sabi ko sayo? ha?."
"Da-"
"Bakit ang tigas tigas ng ulo mo?"
hinawakan nya ng mahigpit ang magkabilang braso ko at galit na nakatitig sakin
"Daddy I don't want this anymore." I cried
"Bakit ganito? ano bang nangyayari sayo? bakla kaba ah?"
"I'm a girl dad a girl."
"Anong sabi mo?"
hinila nya ako at pinadapa sa kama, the sounds of his belt when he removing it makes me feel so scared
"Tingnan natin kung hindi kapa tumino."
*Hit
"Daddy tama na po." sigaw ko
he starting hitting my back with her belt and wanted me to say that I am a boy
When daddy stop and put his belt back in his pants
I get up and run away of that room
"SAMIAN." he shouted
Mom is not here that's why I sneak out of the house to find her
I'm so scared
I don't want daddy anymore without mommy
___
"Lalayas kami ng anak mo, tumabi ka."
I look at dad crying Infront of mom begging not to leave
nang umuwi kami galing hospital dahil sa natamo ko na mga pasa sa mukha dahil may batang nambugbog sakin at yung pag palo ni papa sakin sa likod, I told mom everything
she's furious and I've never seen her get mad like that
"Walang hiya ka! nang dahil sa mga makasariling desisyon mo nasasaktan na ang anak mo!" sigaw ni mommy
"Please Samantha wag kayong umalis.. nagsisisi nako please patawarin nyo ko."
It hurts, I hate when daddy is crying even he's bad, I hate seeing him hurting
"Mommy wag na po tayong umalis."
Napatingin si dad sakin at lalapit sana ng hilahin ako ni mama at itago sa likod nya
"Hindi sam, hindi ko na hahayaang mag dusa ka sa kamay ng daddy mo."
"But mom, I love daddy."
mom cried and sit on the floor
Dad approach me and he hugged me
"I'm sorry.." he said
"No more paws paws okay?" I asked him and he chuckled while crying
he nodded
"do you want to be a girl right?"
Mom look at him with surprised
"Yes I do daddy." napatalon ako
"but one day if you don't want anymore just follow what's in your heart okay?."
I smiled and kissed him on his cheek
______ End of flashback___
Daddy let me do everything that I want even in my gender Identity in school
But still, there's a thing he always wishes for me.
He want me to marry a girl someday, he want a grandchild
I don't know if that thing will happen, because I really don't like girls.
"hmm shit."
Alex run down his kisses in my neck and pulled me closer on him
"Hey stop someone might see us." I tried to push him
we're in the empty room of 5th floor building and I regret that I let him kiss me
"hmm please Sam I need you."
he caressed my legs up inside my sky blue skirt and tried to touch me but I hold his hand to stop him
"Oh god sam not again."
"Alex I change my mind."
"No babe."
I pushed him hard at natumba sya sa sahig
"FUCK!" sigaw nya
I buttoned up my blouse and wear my sky blue neck tie
"I said stop."
tumayo sya at inayos narin ang damit nya
"Bakit ba ah? may ibang lalaki kaba?."
"What? Alex I'm still 16 and I'm still not ready-"
"I just wanted to touch you."
"Hindi parin pwede."
Galit na galit sya at sinipa ang bangko sa harapan nya
After I fixed myself, I get out of the room and run as fast as I can
male-late nako sa session namin
"Oh Sam salamat naman at nakaabot ka, nandyan na si Coach." kirk said while wearing his dubok
I put my things inside my locker and took my dubok
It's our Taekwondo session today, buti nalang at hindi ako na-late dahil mapapa 50 push up ako kung sakali
"Charyut!" our coach shouted
tumakbo na kami ni kirk at pumwesto na sa harapan
"Tighten your belt." sabi ni coach sakin
"Sorry coach."
"Everyone is not allowed to drink softdrinks during your taekwondo session and much better if you guys stop drinking it, it's not good especially this sports needs more Oxygen and healthy stamina, madali kayong mapapagod while in the middle of the fight or during cardio exercises that's why much better to drink water only."
"WHAT?"
napalingon kaming lahat ng may sumigaw sa gitna na babae
"Shut up yuki."
My eyes widened when I see her
"Mon you know that I love softdrinks."
"I said quiet." pikon na sabi nito
Oh no
what the hell they both doing here?
"It's just my advice I'm not gonna push everyone to stop drinking softdrinks." sabi ni coach
"Tss." I hissed
Biglang Napalingon silang dalawa sakin, Mon looked surprised and smirk
she wink at me
Oh Lord the vampire is here