Sirius Black
Sunday, 17th December 1972.
Potter Manor
It was going to be the perfect winter break, Sirius was sure of it. Him and Peter came to the Potter Manor only one day after the Marauders separated at the King's Cross Station. They travelled via flu network to the Potter Manor and, once they were out of the fireplace, Euphemia gave both of them a warm hug.
Sirius was amazed by the decorations. It was nothing like what he was used to. Everywhere were Christmas ornaments, glitter and twinkly lights. There was one huge Christmas tree in the living room, but, to his surprise, it wasn't decorated.
He didn't have that much time to admire everything since Steo came rushing out of the kitchen and, at the same time, loud bangs were heard from the hallway. Before Steo could even say hello to the two of them, James appeared in the living room doorway. He looked quite disheveled, his hair all over the place and his shirt backwards, but Sirius didn't really have the chance to observe the boy further since James enveloped him into a bone crushing hug.
Sirius knew that this time will eventually come and he thought that he will be prepared for it, but nothing could prepare you for being knock down to the floor by the famous James Potter hug. Remus and Peter already experience this part of being James' friend, but this was the first time Sirius was tackled to the ground. Truthfully, he didn't really mind, he joined James in dramatic sobbing while the two were sprawled on the floor.
Peter gave them a disappointed look, but Euphemia seemed to be quite amused. When they finally stood up and after James greeted Peter, Steo had the opportunity to say hi to two boys as well. Then Euphemia turned to the elf, "Steo, could you please take Sirius' and Peter's stuff to their rooms?"
Needless to say, the elf happily nodded and snaped his fingers. Two trunks flew in the air and Steo easily levitated them out of the living room and up the stairs.
Sirius, Peter and James were right behind him. Sirius couldn't wait to unpack everything so that this delightful winter break could officially start. While on the stairs, Sirius turned to James, "What's up with that shirt?", he raised an eyebrow while looking at James' backwards shirt.
The boy pushed his glasses up his nose, "Oh, just practicing some spell I saw in one of the library books. It's supposed to turn everything you are wearing inside out, but I only managed to rotate my shirt."
Sirius and Peter nodded in approval. New idea also came to Sirius in that moment. He didn't really find anything useful about werewolves in the Black family's library, but now he had a whole new library at his disposal. He took a mental note to try to do some research during his stay at the Potter Manor.
Sirius got the same room he stayed at during summer. It was next to James' while Peter's was across from James'.
When he entered it, he was amazed once again. Sirius literally had his own small Christmas tree in the corner near the window seat. It was a fake, white tree with red and gold ornaments. Christmas lights were also all over his room, casting a faint golden tone to the space.
"Have you told Remus about me and Pete staying here?", Sirius asked James while unpacking. The boy looked at him from the bed, "Yeah, but he said he can't come yet. The Lupins are going to visit grandma Lupin again.", Sirius gave James a disappointed look, so James continued, "But... he did say that he will join us on the 22nd. He didn't want to miss Pete's birthday at midnight."
Of course. Sirius totally forgot that the full moon was on the 20th December, so it just made sense for Remus to wait for it to pass at home. If he came to the Potter Manor now, he would need a very good excuse to leave and even a better one to return two days later.
Once the unpacking was finally completed, three boys went downstairs and into the living room to play some Wizarding Chess. James and Peter were the first ones to play, so Sirius was left with his thoughts. His gaze lingered to the undecorated tree again.
Like always, his curiosity won and he just had to ask Mrs. Potter about it. From what he saw so far, the whole house was bursting with Christmas spirit except the main tree. He got up from the floor and went into the kitchen where he found Euphemia at the dining table. She had some book in her hands, but she placed it on the table as soon as he walked in.
"Why did you leave that tree undecorated?", Sirius asked while sitting next to her.
"Oh, I just thought it will be fun for you boys to decorate it on your own.", she said to Sirius making him widen his eyes. He has never decorated a Christmas tree in his life. Walburga never let him touch anything since the Blacks had only the most expensive and delicate ornaments on this freaking earth, "Really?", he asked while trying not to sound too hopeful.
Euphemia smiled at him and placed her hand on his shoulder, "Of course. But you need to wait for Remus. James tells me he'll come on the 22nd?"
Sirius was more than fine with waiting. It just sounded so fun. Decorating his first ever Christmas tree with his best friends. Like some dream come true.
He nodded eagerly, but then, his excited expression was replaced with sadness. Maybe Regulus wanted to decorate a Christmas tree. To decorate a Christmas tree with his big brother. They never did stuff like that. Sirius felt like a sharp blade got stuck in his heart.
Like Euphemia read his mind, she flicked her wand and the kettle behind Sirius filled up with water and got placed on the stove. Then, she turned back to him, "James mentioned something about a fight you had with your brother?", she asked gently.
There was just something about Mrs. Potter. Sirius couldn't quite put a finger to it. He felt like he could tell her anything, like she really cared about him and wanted the best for him, "Yeah... he kind of... hurt me."
Euphemia gave him another one of her kind smiles. It was like her smile pulled the blade out of his heart, not fully, but enough for Sirius to compose himself again.
The water was done boiling and, with another flick of her wand, two mugs full of tea levitated towards them. Euphemia slid the red one to Sirius, "I'm sure hurting you wasn't his intention.", there was a brief silence before she continued, "Sometimes hurt people hurt people."
Sirius lifted the mug to his lips, deep in thought. Was Regulus really that hurt? Did he really just want to spend the holidays with Sirius? Granted, that didn't really excuse the insult he threw James' way, but maybe that was also because he was hurt and he knew that insulting Sirius' friends will hurt Sirius as well.
He sighed. Sirius thought that he was complicated, but, apparently, compared to Regulus, he was a piece of cake. It was probably due to their parents' teachings so, realistically, he shouldn't really blame Regulus. Regulus is just a kid after all, he doesn't know any better. Maybe Sirius just needs to try and show him better.
He talked a bit more with Euphemia about school and the shenanigans the Marauders came up with during this semester. Needless to say, she wasn't really impressed. Soon after, Mr. Potter came home and greeted everybody.
Steo made an incredible lunch for all of them. Sirius enjoyed everything. From food and decorations to the company and laughter. It was just a perfect start to the winter break.
* * *
Friday, 22nd December 1972.
Potter Manor
Just like promised, Remus Lupin walked out of the Potters' fireplace in the morning on 22nd December. The three Marauders greeted their missing piece like they haven't seen each other in months. They all followed Remus, Steo and a levitating trunk to Remus' room. His was next to Peter's and across from Sirius'.
Remus started the unpacking task. Sirius got comfortable on the bed while James laid sprawled at his feet. Peter sat in a desk chair and told Remus all about how and why him and Sirius actually managed to stay at James' for the whole break.
While Peter was telling the story about William and his friends, Sirius found himself just looking at Remus. He didn't really know why his gaze continued to follow the boy as he unpacked. Remus' hair was messy from the travel and he had a small smudge on his cheek that Sirius just wanted to wipe off. That stupid smudge really irritated him. It irritated him so much that he just couldn't stop looking at it.
Sirius shook his head and tried to relax on the bed again. He was looking at Remus just because he was trying to see if Remus had any new scars from the transformation and the smudge distracted him because it was just... distracting. For Merlin's sake, it was a smudge on someone's face? Who wouldn't be distracted by it?
Later that day, Sirius saw what he was looking for. He hoped that maybe this time transformation was easy for Remus, but, once they all sat down to have dinner, Sirius saw small cuts peeking through the sleeve of Remus' jumper. These were bright silver. Sirius wondered why some scars looked like this while others were muted white. Maybe they faded over time?
But that didn't really make any sense since Sirius read how werewolf scars can't fade no matter how much time has passed so it must have been something else. Maybe Remus had some medicine he started to consume which helped the scars fade? But why did he stop using it—
"Sirius!", James hit him with his elbow right in the stomach. Sirius let out a slight squeak from the impact while dropping his head on the table. There was a sound of the cutlery and plates clinking and the laughter from Mr. Potter didn't really help Sirius' pain.
"Ouch.", Sirius whispered in a high-pitched voice with his head still on the table.
"James! That's not how you get someone's attention!", Euphemia scolded him while giving Mr. Potter a threatening look. Fleamont stopped laughing immediately and James sank in his chair, but Sirius just knew that the smug smile was still plastered on James' face since it seemed like Peter and Remus were barely able to control their laughter.
Once Sirius managed to lift his head from the table, he asked what James wanted, but James just nodded at Mrs. Potter. Sirius looked at her and she smiled at him, "I just asked if you boys wanted to decorate a Christmas tree after dinner?"
It seemed like all the pain he felt from James' punch was gone, "Yes!", Sirius exclaimed, but James gave him an unimpressed look, "You should have said that at the same time as me, Peter and Remus five minutes ago. It would have been cooler.".
Sirius flicked James on the back of his head.
"Sirius!", Euphemia yelled again while the quiet laughter from Fleamont could be heard in the background.
The Marauders went into the living room straight after dinner. Euphemia already placed the boxes full of ornaments in front of the tree, so each boy grabbed one and started to work.
Sirius carefully picked up every single ornament. It was so cool to him how each one was different from the rest. Back at the 12th Grimmauld Place, they would only hang boring round ornaments in black and emerald green. Needless to say, it didn't really scream Christmas.
Here, Sirius saw such variety of different colors and shapes of ornaments that he was amazed how the Blacks' managed to be so boring and monotone when there were this many possibilities.
With each ornament, the tree seemed more and more complete. The boxes that were previously filled to the brim were now almost empty. There was only one box left which nobody touched since it was the smallest and everyone wanted to hang as much ornaments as possible.
Sirius finished his box first, so he reached for the last one, but he froze in place once he opened it. It was filled with old photographs encased in glass. There were photos of baby James, of young Mr. and Mrs. Potter, of some elderly couple that looked like James' grandparents...
Sirius carefully picked one up. It was a photo of James blowing candles on his nineth birthday. His parents were right by his side, clapping their hands and smiling at their son. Sirius just looked at it. No matter how happy the photographs seemed, it made Sirius feel sad. Sad because he never saw a photo of himself blowing birthday candles. Because he never saw his parents that happy while looking at him.
"Sirius? Are you okay?", he heard Remus ask so he immediately removed his gaze from the glass ornament, "Yeah. Sorry, I was just lost in thought."
Peter and Remus finished their boxes as well, so the two of them went into the kitchen to get some cookies for everyone. James still had half of his box since, while everyone was working on hanging ornaments, he tried to untangle the Christmas lights.
Sirius composed himself before walking back to the tree with the box, but James knew him too well, "What's up?", he asked mid hanging the wooden ornament shaped like a deer.
Sirius placed the box by their feet and got ahold of the same photo he was looking at before, "You all look so happy here.", he said in a small voice. James waited patiently for him to continue.
It seemed to Sirius like James could read him like a book sometimes. Like the two of them were different sides of the same coin. When James needed someone to talk, Sirius talked. When Sirius needed someone to stay up with him, James stayed up with him. When James needed silence, Sirius was silent. And when Sirius needed someone to listen James listened. In this moment, James knew that Sirius needed time, so he gave him time.
"I never saw my family this happy.", Sirius finally said after a long pause.
It was still very hard for him to open up about everything, but, as each day passed, Sirius' walls were crumbling. James was usually the one holding the sledgehammer.
He was still looking at the photo when James threw an arm around his shoulders, "Yes, you have.", he said simply which confused Sirius and made him look at James. The boy was wearing a kind smile, the same one Euphemia often threw his way, "You see here.", James pointed at his mom and dad in the photo, "They looked just like that when you arrived here."
Sirius' heart felt heavy. Heavy from happiness and sadness at the same time. James squeezed his shoulder and continued, "Family isn't only bonded by blood and who says that you can't have more than one?"
Sirius gulped at those words. Maybe James was right. Yes, he had a family back at 12th Grimmauld Place. Family he didn't choose, but maybe he also had a family here, with the Marauders and the Potters.
James got ahold of both of his shoulders which got Sirius to look at him directly in the eyes, "I will always be your family.", he said seriously, but then, like he wanted to ease the tension their conversation created, he added jokingly, "My mom and dad did always want another child.", he wiggled his eyebrows.
That got Sirius to finally smile again. He pulled James into a tight hug, "Thank you.", he whispered and James just nodded.
The two of them continued to decorate the tree and joke. All sadness Sirius felt was gone. James is right, he thought to himself. Who says that I have to choose only one family. Granted, if it wasn't for Regulus and him being a Black family heir, everything would have been so much easier, but the life of Sirius Black wasn't an easy one.
In a few years he will think of himself as foolish. Foolish for believing that not choosing was even a choice when you were the heir of one of the most powerful pureblood families. The disappointments and betrayals will just continue to destroy him until Sirius becomes strong enough to realize and except the truth. The sad truth that waited for him just around the corner. He would consider himself foolish for not choosing the Potters right then and there.
Remus and Peter came back into the living room with a plate full of shortbread cookies. The familiar smell filled Sirius' nose and his heart leaped with joy once again. Euphemia and Fleamont followed Remus and Peter into the living room as well and the four of them got comfortable on the two sofas.
James draped the lights all around the tree and the only thing left was to place a huge golden star on top of it. Both, Sirius and James wanted to do this final task, so they decided to do it together. Sirius sat on James' shoulders and James lifted him into the air. The tree was so big that, even with both of their heights, Sirius barely managed to reach the top. He dramatically placed the star in its place and, immediately, Fleamont flicked his wand.
The warm lights showered the living room in golden hues. James took a few steps back with Sirius still on his shoulders to try and look at the tree from a better position. But, as he came closer to the sofas, James hit the back of his knees on the armrest of the one Remus and Peter were sat at. Sirius flew from his shoulders and his head fell directly into Remus' lap while James ended up in Peter's.
Remus looked at him while trying to act annoyed, but then all six of them started to laugh. Sirius couldn't remember the time when he felt more alive and happy. The joy practically radiated off of him.
When Sirius finally got his laughter under control and managed to open his eyes again, he found Remus still looking at him with a bright smile. Sirius watched him for a moment, but before he could say anything, James was pulling him back up by his hand.