WHEN RAFE GET BACK to the crowds, he can’t catch any glimpses of Hope everywhere. He saw Sarah, dancing with his father but he can’t catch Hope anywhere. Usually, he would get worried and start searching for her but right now he can’t give a damn about anything. Not even to Hope or the probability of her running back to JJ.
He needs some release and that totally contain the white substance that going to calm all of his nerves.
Rafe pushed himself through the crowds to find Kelce and Topper, he quickly walking towards them as soon as he found them. Kelce still looks good, probably a little tipsy but Topper already looks wasted. He don’t even trying to hide how drunk he looks like, based on how flush his face is.
“Yow, Rafe. Where the hell were you? You missed the show dude, they caught a Pogue in here” Kelce is the first one to greet him when he spot the taller boy walking towards them.
Rafe ignores the announcement, he knows about what he’s talking about. Pretty sure he’s the reason why JJ was caught and get kick out from here. Not like he wants to brag about it, he doesn’t want to talk anything about JJ or even about the Pogues. That is going to lead for them to talk about Hope.
He doesn’t want to talk about Hope.
“I need to do a bump, you can join if you want” He announced, lowering his tone a little to avoid anyone to overhear their conversation.
Topper gives his friend a look at the mentioned of the drugs, he usually would question him about it. But he also needs it, as he’s also in the middle of a crisis.
“You have it with you now?” Topper asked. Rafe averts his gaze from Kelce to him “Yeah, stashed it in my car. We can do it there” he suggested.
Topper nods, that sounds good to him.
“What is wrong with your face, dude? You look like you just walked out from MMA Championship. Did you got blow down there or something?” Kelce jokes, he notices how his face is red and flush. His hair a little messy and looks like he’s just have couple of make out session.
Topper eyeing the taller boy once against, his brain is trying to work on something. Especially when he just saw JJ got escorted out while Hope and Rafe were missing in action before he’s showed up here looking like this.
But his brain is way too occupied with the arguments he had with Sarah and the alcohol started to mess with his head. Blocking his capability from putting everything together, he just want to drink out all his problems now and the mentioned of drugs from Rafe making him feels more thrilled.
“Mind your own business, okay?” Rafe spats, running his fingers on his messy hair to put it back on its position. His knuckles are still sore from the match he had earlier, his hands a little shaky because of the adrenaline.
He really needs his drugs to calm down his nerves, to shut down the voices at the back of his head before he’s getting more rogue.
“Just asking, bro. Just assumed that you might catch some pussy or something” Kelce continues, nudging him a little.
“Look, you want have some yayo or not? You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, all right? More fun to me” Rafe spats, looking merely annoyed at the attempt from Kelce to cut off his fun.
He needs some fun after the shit event earlier, he’s still can feel his heart pounding when he beats JJ almost to death. And he didn’t even feel remorse about it.
He really wished that he actually killed JJ that time, so he can eliminate him from Hope’s life immediately. He’s being nothing than a parasite that trying to steal Hope from him, by turning her against him. JJ is so lucky that the guard was arrived at a right time to pull him away or else he would be dead.
“Didn’t you just did the line earlier bro?” Kelce continues, because he remembered both him and Rafe did it back in the toilet when they excused themselves from the crowds for it.
“Who gives a shit? If you don’t want that, me and Top can have all of them to us”
Kelce pursed his lips “Okay, seriously. Is this about what happened earlier with Noah?” he starts, pointed out about what happened earlier with him and Noah before Hope pulled him away from the crowds.
Topper squints his eyes “What happened with Noah?” he asked, suddenly get curious about it. He knows the boy, he went to Kook Academy with him and in one of Hope’s classes. They used to work their assignments together, so he knows him.
“This big boy here was being a mighty protector to our princess” Kelce announced, there’s a little tease in his tone.
“Hope?” Topper asked and Kelce nods. He looks back to Rafe, he already looks like he wants to scream “What happened? What did you do, Rafe?” he continues, suddenly get all protectives over Hope as always.
“I didn’t do anything, okay? For fuck sake” Rafe spats again when he caught the tone from Topper “You should be grateful that I was there to stop that asshole from touching your bratty sister. And she has the nerves to be mad at me” he bitterly said, unaware with the name he called Hope.
“He’s touching her? Noah?" Topper questioned.
"Yeah"
"And then she’s get mad at you?”
"Totally being a bitch about it" Rafe bitterly said, not even minding his words while talking about her.
“No, he’s not touching her, that’s a little overreacted. He barely touched Hope, it just a little nudge” Kelce chimes in, correcting him. He was there and he saw everything.
He can confirm that Noah isn’t trying to do some shit at Hope like Rafe trying to portrayed him as, because Kelce would be the one who throw hands if Noah actually did that. Hope is his friend as much as Topper and Rafe are. He would do something to stop the boy if he actually make Hope uncomfortable. But he didn’t, that was all innocent and friendly gestures.
“Why are you defending that rapist?” Rafe said, glaring at Kelce.
“Woah man, that’s a little too much, okay? Don’t call him that, he’s a nice dude” Kelce shook his head, not liking at how aggressive Rafe is towards his friend. Kelce likes Noah, he’s not as douche as he looks and he is basically tolerable. They hangs around at school sometimes.
“That’s bullshit man”
“That’s not. I would know if it’s really is but it’s not, you’re being overdramatic” Kelce continues “You don’t have to be worry, bro. Nobody is going to steal your girl from you, they should know better than trying to mess with Rafe Cameron”
Rafe scoffed out loud, averting his eyes to somewhere through the crowds but he can’t help to agree with him. Everybody knows better than trying to mess with him, or even trying to pull some shit against him. He knows that, he knows he’s holding some sort of power and grips onto everyone around the Figure Eight.
But that actually not enough to send JJ Maybank away from keep pestering on his shit. From keep latching on his girl.
“Fuck that, okay” Rafe continues to speak, because he’s trying to get everything out from his mind instead of keep talking about it. That’s not actually why he’s here, he wants to clear out his mind “You can either join us or keep talking about that shit, I don’t really give a fuck”
Though Topper is still curious about everything, he decides to just also dropped the conversations as well because he’s also in the middle of shit. The talk about his sister can wait, they’re still in a bad terms with each other since this morning so it’s safe to say he doesn’t give a shit about her now.
Hope and Sarah both can eat shit all he cares.
“Fine, let’s go” Kelce finally giving in, but he can’t help to roll his eyes at the determination from Rafe. Can’t really says no to the drugs, he already had fun tonight and he’s still has some more space for another.
Rafe starts to smile widely, cheering at Kelce when he decides to join the party. “Come on” he said, urging for his friends to join him which both Topper and Kelce said nothing but comply to him. The three of them walk out together, sneakily to get through the crowds for their business.
•••
HOPE IS STILL a crying mess when she’s walking towards the crowds back, a sob still slipping out from her mouth and she has no intention to hide the tears away or make it stop. All she wants right now is to run away from this place, all she wants now is JJ.
But the boy already nowhere to be found and she doesn’t know what already happened to him after he get kicked out from the event.
She knows it almost impossible for her to go back to the crowds with her condition. She knows she looks terrible now, with her make up that obviously already smudge all over her face. It’s going to make another headline for tonight and she’s trying not to cause any scene. She had enough with chaos.
Her eyes scanning for Sarah, hoping that she can call the girl over here to help her out from this place but the blonde is way too occupied to notice her from here. She’s currently dancing with Ward and Wheezie, spinning around with a big and bright smile plaster on her face. She’s trying not to ruin her best friend’s night just because hers turns out to be shitty.
Plus, there’s no way Sarah is going to notice her here. Unless she’s going over there and pulling Sarah along with her. But that choice almost not a good one because going there means she needs to walking through sea of people and they’re going to notice how a mess she is.
And that is going to draw attention to her parents. That would be the last thing she ever wants to happen. Involving her parents only making everything worse than it already is. Her mom will going rogue if she ever caught her like this, crying and in a mess at an event that supposed to give a great impression to her.
Especially after the talk about her and JJ.
While Hope is occupied with her own thoughts and rearranging plans on how to escape from the place since she’s ride here with Rafe and that boy would be the last person she wants to see right now, someone caught her presence all alone. He can’t help to come up and approach her.
“Hope?” he calls out her name causing her to snap out from her thought and turns to face him. When she’s facing him, he caught the tears wetting her pretty face that was perfect with her make up earlier, he starts to tense up “Woah, what’s wrong with you?” Noah asked, his eyes widened.
Hope quickly looks away from him when he caught the boy was calling out for her, wiping her stained and sticky cheeks with the back of her palm. She was oblivious about it before but now she feels embarrassed, having a people from her school to see her in this state isn’t really in her bingo card. Especially when she’s already ashamed enough with what Rafe pulled earlier to him.
“You good?” Noah continues to ask when she remains silence instead of answering to his question. He saw how she’s trying to hide the tears on her face but he already seen enough.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s nothing. I’m fine” Hope mutters before she looks back to him with a tight-lipped smile, her hands still consciously wiping away any excess of tears from her face. She’s no longer crying, but her face is still covered with the pearl white liquid.
Noah pursed his lips, knowing she’s lying her ass off and it doesn’t take a genius to know about it. He knows he should mind his own business and probably just walk off, but after what just happened earlier, he thought maybe this has something to do with it.
“I’m sorry, for showing up like this. I kinda need some fresh air and just happened to see you here” he said with an apologetic look, he doesn’t see like he’s trying to make fun of her or anything. He looks genuinely sorry and concern.
“That’s okay” she said, not really up for any conversations. Her voice is still hoarse, really throwing out the fact she was just crying her ass off before.
“Is it because of what happened earlier? You’re in trouble because of me?” He continues to ask, keeping his gaze on her but he’s still minding the distance between them as he’s trying not to make the girl uncomfortable. He just assumed that Hope needs some personal space and he’s trying to give her some.
Hope chews her lower lips, remembering the incident when Rafe get out of control and almost pulled some shit on Noah just like he did to JJ. She almost scowled at the thought of him beating up JJ, she’s still got the flashback at the back of her mind on how Rafe was pounding on JJ, beating him to half death.
“No, it’s not” She shook her head. Maybe not entirely, maybe it’s one of the factors why she’s in a deep shit now but it’s totally not about what was happened back then.
Rafe was just being Rafe, the one that people keep warned her about and she was too blind to see it when the signs were already written all over his face with red underlined.
She cussed herself at how stupid she was, she has the urges to bash her own head against the wall hoping it would erase everything that she just witnessed making her forget about her whole existence if it’s even possible.
“I’m sorry, Hope. I’m not trying to cause anything, I was just being friendly. I don’t know that my action pissed off your boyfriend” Noah apologized, the guilt written all over his face and he’s truly sorry for it. He’s not trying to start any scene or anything, he just wants to be nice.
He likes Hope, in a friendly way, of course. She’s one of the popular girls at the academy but she’s not mean or rude like the typical popular kids. He’s just want to be on her good side, just like he always did. They used to change smile and greeting when passing each other at the school’s hallway.
“He’s not my boyfriend” Her mouth quickly spats that word, denying it.
Usually, she would just smile and brushing it away without any intention to correct it but right now she wants nothing to do with it. And hearing Rafe’s name right now makes her wants to throw up. How she despised the boy now with her whole heart.
“He’s not?” Noah looks a little confused.
“No, he’s not. I don’t have a boyfriend” she said and then her mind wanders about JJ.
But he’s not her boyfriend either and after everything that happened, she doubts that JJ wants anything to do with her. That causing her stomach to knot, what if JJ starts hating on her because of this?
“He looks genuinely care about you” Noah continues, a small smile plaster on his lips.
He doesn’t know the full story about Hope and Rafe, he barely knows them but watching them walking in together in their matching suit and dress, it’s hard to believe that there’s nothing between them.
And they look pretty good together, they really compliment each other.
“More like obsessed” Hope mumbles, it rolling out from her mouth with so much bitterness.
She starts to make a face, unaware that she’s literally getting emotional and dragging a complete stranger into her problem. When she realizes of her action, she quickly shoots an apology to Noah, cussing herself again for being careless over her emotions.
“I’m sorry” she said “It just—I’m just stressing out, just forget about what I said” she continues. Though she’s very despising Rafe now, she doesn’t want to talk shit about him or get people to have such a bad idea about him.
“That’s all right” he said and slowly walking towards her and leaning on a rail just couple meters away from where’s Hope currently standing. She just watching him moves, but she didn’t say anything “You wanna talk about it? I’m a pretty good listener” he jokes, trying to lift up the mood.
It actually worked out a little because she starts to smile “If you think you can get something out from my mouth so you can brag about it at the academy, you can kiss it goodbye” she playfully said, knowing how the things work at the school that fill with gossips and scandalous stories.
“Have anyone ever say that you’re a little paranoid?”
“Not to my face, why?”
“Great, I’m telling it right on your face now” he announced and that actually force a laugh to come out from her mouth. For a second, she forget about what just happened. And Noah feels relief that he actually succeed to pull the girl’s out from her gloomy mood, because she knows Hope as a bright girl.
Hope gazes at the boy “I’m sorry for what he did earlier, he shouldn’t do that to you. I know you were being nice” she said, can’t help to feel responsible for it. Though she’s got warned so many times that she’s not responsible for every bad deed that Rafe caused to people around him.
“Don’t mentioned it, it’s nothing” Noah quickly brushed it away, motion it using his hand while shaking his head “If it’s making you any better, I’m not into girls.” He continues and that actually caught her off guard.
“What?” Hope blurts out, shooting him a look.
“I’m gay, babe” Noah spelled it out loud for her and that’s when Hope starts to get it.
“Oh, that’s uh—well, good. It’s—it’s good” she starts to ramble, having no exact reaction to that confession.
She has no problem with it, of course. But this is definitely the first times people come out to her so she doesn’t know what to say.
Noah caught the panicked from the girl, notices how she’s awkwardly trying not to look or sound rude “Hey, ease up. Just act normal, okay? You don’t have to get all panic like this” he assured, putting a good hand on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to react” she coyly said, can’t help to feel embarrassed at her action that actually got caught by the boy.
“That’s fine. A lot of people don’t” he said “But you’re better than half of them that might freak out and just walk away from me”
“They did that?”
“Yeah” Noah nods, but looks casual about it “But that’s don’t bother me at all. I just kinda expected it, so I don’t really mind”
Hope just smile, nodding her head a little. She feels grateful for Noah to be here, and talk his way out so she can ease up her mind for a while.
“Boys are kinda hard to handle, aren’t they?” Noah continues, making her to look back to him.
She lets out a chuckle, it sounds like a type of conversations that she had with Sarah usually “Yeah. A lot hard to handle” she agreed.
“He looks like he cares a lot about you” he added. Noah can see it right through Rafe’s eyes, how he looks at her like she’s the only person in the room when he’s literally surrounding with people.
Hope pressed her lips in a tight line. If this under another circumstances, she would be over the moon hearing someone tells her about this, about how Rafe cares about her. But right now, even the mere thought about it making her wants to throw up. Rafe cares about her is overstatement, that actually leads to whatever shit that going down right now.
“He does” She said, not wanting to brag about it to Noah. Sure, he’s nice enough to offer the comfort to her but she doesn’t want to parade about her business to someone else. She wants to keep it between her, she doesn’t want anyone to have any idea about them. About Rafe.
Sure she's so mad at him right now, but she doesn't want people to look at him in a bad way.
There’s a long silence between them and she doesn’t mind about the lack of voices around her. She feels calm and she’s secretly thanked Noah for it. It giving her enough space to think properly, without the thought about Rafe or JJ polluting her mind. She’s fidgeting with her fingers with her mind brain work its gear.
Until something come out. That’s when she glances back to Noah.
“Hey, can you do a small favour for me?” she suddenly asks, keeping her gazes on him. The boy shifted on his position before he nods his head.
“Yeah, sure. What is it?” he asked, waiting for her to spit out what’s on her mind.
“Can you drive me out to the Cut?” she blurts that.
Noah gives her a look, can’t help to feel curious about it. Why would Hope wants to be at the Cut, the south side where the Pogues are living? He has no problems with the Pogues, but the rivalry between the two class of life actually making him has some sort of ideas about them.
“Right now?”
“Yes, right now. Can you do that?” she confirmed.
Noah thinks a little “Okay. You wait here, I’ll go pick my keys and drop you there” he finally said with a smile.
Hope can’t express how grateful she is right now and how he’s not even questioning about it. Because other people would totally starts to bombard her with the questions.
“Thank you, thank you” she thrills out, jumping a little on her spot making Noah to chuckle “But, please don’t tell anyone about this, okay? If anyone ever asked you, you lie your ass off?” she continues, trying not to get caught.
“Don’t worry, my lips are sealed” Noah motion an invisible zip on his lips making Hope to beam with a smile.
The boy excused himself and walking back towards the where the event still happening, leaving Hope back with her thoughts.
•••
AS PROMISED, Noah dropped her out at the Cut just like she asked him for. But she asked him to drop couple meters away from the exact location she wants to be, just for a precaution. It was pitch dark and eerily gloom out there, Noah needs to ask her couple of times to make sure she’s actually wants to be here.
But Hope brushing it away, saying that there’s nothing he should be worry about and she knows her ways around here. It took couple of convinces session before he actually giving up and allows her to get out from the car. She gives him a friendly hug with a little thanks, watching him drive away from the road.
And that’s leading her to stand in front of the knock out trailer that belong to a certain drug dealer. It’s been long enough since the last time she saw him or even have a conversation. Hope knows that she shouldn’t show up like this without any head up to him, he warned her about it multiple times.
But that the least she’s worry about. She needs to clear up her mind and doesn’t want to be around any of those people. Where Rafe can easily found her and starts his shit again, she doesn’t want to be found by Rafe. She knows he’s going to confront her if she’s going home, her mom will let him in even if she refused to see him.
And she’s certainly can’t be at the Cameron’s with Sarah just like she usually did whenever she’s been through some inconvenience in her life. She would talk about it to Sarah and the blonde would make her feels better just like she usually did. She’s really her safe place.
But right now, she doesn’t want any of that. She just want to be with herself where nobody really can find her and Barry is the only person who can give that to her right now. She knows it’s dangerous and it’s kinda impulsive action from her, but she’s trying not to think about it.
There’s no sight of any drunks or crackheads anywhere outside the trailer and it sounds strangely quiet too. She thought maybe Barry isn’t home at first but she spots his bike parked on his lawn along with his navy blue BMW. She can make sure of herself that he’s home, probably just passed out cold in his bed.
Hope braces herself to go walk up to his porch where his door is shut close, he usually lets it wide open for the people to come in and out. She hold up her hand before she places couple of knocks on the wooden panel.
“Go away, it’s late and come back tomorrow for your shit” she heard his tone from the other side of the door. He probably thought she’s one of his customer.
“It’s me” She reply shortly to announce herself.
There’s no remarks from him but she heard the sounds of shuffling inside with the faint sounds of footsteps approaching the door. Seconds after, he’s appeared by the entrance after yanking the door open.
He looks like he’s seeing a ghost as soon as he saw her standing at his doorstep.
“Hope?” He said, his dark brows cocking in confusion. She gives him a faint smile, fiddling with the material of her dress while keeping her gaze on the man.
“Hi, Baz” she greets him.
“What the hell are you doing here this late?” He asked, his tone is slightly rising causing Hope to flinch a “And why are you dressing up like this? Were you running away from your tea time or something?”
Her tight smile were wipe out from her face and her lips start to form an upside down. Barry seems to caught the change of expression from her, he just notice how her cheeks literally damp with tears and the smudge make up on her face.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Is something happen?” He asked, this time with a softer tone. He steps out from the trailer to the porch where she’s currently standing.
The question from him causing a sudden waves of sadness hitting the back of her throat, she has the urges to cry once again. She bites her lips, trying to hold the emotions back.
“It’s—It’s nothing” she stuttered, shaking her head but the cracked of her voice telling the drug dealer otherwise. He doesn’t know what to do, he’s not great dealing with people emotions. He’s not even great with people.
“Don’t bullshit me girl” He spats, not believing her “You’re not gonna show up on my porch looking like a mess like this if nothing happened to you. Now, you better tell me before I’m forcing it out from you by myself”
Barry ain’t stupid, though sometimes he’s losing the function of his brain for a while because of the amount of drugs he’s been using. But he’s still can see something is wrong with the girl.
If this down to another person, he would gladly to kick them out from his porch without hesitates because why would he gives a damn about it? He’s not a damn therapist and his trailer isn’t a motel.
But this is Hope that he’s talking about. Though it’s takes everything in him to admit how much he actually care about the girl even for a stone cold heart of a person like him. She’s like a little sister that he can’t help to love even though she’s annoyed the shit out of him.
“I was running away from the midsummer” She said, that’s the only thing that can come out from her mouth. She looks terrified, not even dare to look up to Barry. She thought the man was pissed off at her, his tone making her to cower.
His eyes widened “You were running from the Kook’s land to here? Wearing like that, during this time?” he questioned, because he can’t see any cars parked on his lawn except for his. He really thought that Hope really been pulling that crazy moves.
“That’s fucking dangerous, Kook. You know how bad this could turn if anyone ever caught you walking all alone to here? I told you this isn’t your Kooks’ playground, something bad could happen to you” he continues, not pleased with her action.
“What? No, I did not walking here, I’m not that crazy” she said and she hates that instead of keep trying to explain everything to Barry, she has the urges to cry. Why would she wants to crying right now? She thought she had enough of it back at the course.
“Then, how in the hell you’re here? I don’t see any car or shits”
“Don’t be mad at me, okay? Stop—stop yelling” she pleads, putting her hand up to stop the scold from him. She starts to feel overwhelmed with all the constant questions from him, making her heart doing a lapse.
“I’m not mad at you” Barry states, trying to control his own tone. But he can’t help himself, that’s how he sounds when he’s talking to people. “And I’m not yelling, I’m asking”
Hope remains silence, she’s putting a hand over her chest as in she’s trying to breath properly when she can feel a heavy feeling squeezing her lungs. Her breath got hitched up.
“I—I don’t know what to do and—yours are the only place that I can run for” she spoke but she stuttered her whole vocabulary “Please don’t get mad at me, I—I don’t want you to get mad at me” and she start to cry, a sob slipping out from her mouth.
Barry watched the scene with a knot inside his stomach, and this is the very first time since a long time he’s having such feeling. That causing him to feel bad, he doesn’t even know his cold heart could wreck by only watching a girl bursting out in tears on his porch.
He let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose before he slowly approaching the girl who already sobbing. He doesn’t know how to comfort people but if he’s not doing it, it going to be worst.
“Hey, hey, don’t cry” he said, using a tone as soft as he can to avoid to startle her “I’m not mad at you, aight? You didn’t do anything wrong to me, why would I be mad at you” he continues.
Hope swallowing the lump behind her throat at the attempt from Barry to calm her down “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for show up like this, I know you don’t like it when I did that” she sobbed, looking up to him.
“Don’t be sorry, it’s fine” He assured, forcing a tight lipped smile “Don’t cry, you look horrible” he continues, trying to light up the mood but he regrets he saw her frown deepened. He quickly cuss himself.
He indeed horrible at making people feels better.
“I’m joking, please don’t cry. You make me feels thing that I shouldn’t and that makes me wants to throw up” he added, hoping that it would help to ease the girl’s feeling instead of making her feels worse.
A faint hint of smile tugging on her lips, Hope can’t help to find it funny how Barry is trying so hard to make her feels better despite of not knowing how. She can see the panic flashed behind his dark eyes, she would making fun of him if this under another circumstances.
“I’m sorry for crying, I don’t even know why I’m crying” she continues, start to rub away any excess of tears from her cheeks that getting sticky than it already had. Can’t help to feel embarrassed.
“That’s fine” he said, giving a small pat on her shoulder and that’s still awkward for him to do it “But, please gives me a head up next time if you’re planning to show up on my porch just to cry. I need to prepare myself”
Hope let out a breathy laugh and hiccupped a little, that causing Barry to smile. Can’t help to find it cute.
“You want to head in and telling me what the hell is happening to you?” he said, pointing towards his trailer while offering a hospitality that she’s totally needed judging on how much mess she’s in.
Hope chews her lips, giving him a looks of doubt for a quick seconds but that’s the reason why she’s here. Hoping that Barry would be kind enough to let her in and probably offer a place to crash for tonight because she refused to be back to Figure Eight anytime sooner.
“Can I?” she asks, looking hesitates.
“It’s not like I have any other choices than letting you in. Unless you really want me to let you cry your ass off on my porch”
She frowns once again at the words comes out from him and Barry though he’s joking about it, he starts to feel bad again. Cussing himself for having such a big mouth.
“I’m joking. Come on in, before anyone saw you here and accused me for kidnapping the Kook’s princess” He said, stepping away from blocking the entrance so Hope can head into his trailer.
Hope is back to smile again. She gives him a little pat on his forearm before she’s walking pass the door into the trailer before Barry trailing right behind the girl. He gives a quick peek around his lawn, just in case before he shut close the door and lock it.
•••
THE DARK HAIR man dropping on a couch just opposite the red head girl who is currently wrapping on a blanket that he fetch from his spare room. He doesn’t even know where exactly that fleece coming, probably from one of his night stand or his crack heard customers but it did the work.
She’s already calm down from her previous cry, Barry urges her to go wash her face and wipe out those smudge make up and the sticky tears from ruining her nature beauty. Thankfully, she’s listening to him instead of making a fuss about it.
He feels like a single father who is currently man handling his teenage daughter who get caught up for sneaking out to an adult party but he’s trying to play as the cool parent instead of nagging on her.
Barry swore to himself that he’s never having a child if this what it’s meant to have one. He’s not handling anything like this again, he’s not having a girl crying in a dress on his porch anymore. It sounds like a lifetime of nightmare.
Hope tightening the light green blanket with a little stripes around her body, there’s a bottle water on her hand that Barry surprisingly found at his kitchen instead of his beers and any other junks. Sitting comfortably on the worn out couch.
She keeps drinking the water, trying to calm out her own nerves. She’s way into her head to notice that Barry is currently burning a hole right on her from his seat, waiting for her to crack something about what’s leading her to here while bursting out her eyes.
“Okay, now. Are you going to tell me what is exactly happening or you want to keep chugging the water until the last drops” Barry starts, can’t wait any longer. He never really a person with a so much patience after all.
Hope pulls away the bottle from her mouth and looking up to Barry who is just opposite her. He’s already got a curios look on his face, eyeing her with a squint on his eyes.
“I told you, I’m running away from midsummer” she said, still refused to tell him about the full story.
“Why? Were you forced to marry some old Kook or something?” he continues, wanting a full closure about the story. She can’t just casually running away from the Kook’s event just to be here for no reason.
It must be something that happened to her.
“No, that would be gross” Hope grimaces. She would rather kill herself that actually being through that situation and she hope her parents are not crazy enough to pull that action.
“Then, what it could be?” Barry asked “What brings you all the way from Kook’s land just to be here, out of place in this world. You must be desperate enough to decide my place as your last resort”
Hope pursed her lips. The truth is, she is that desperate just to run away to here. She’s run out of place to fly so Barry’s trailer looks like the perfect choice for her. And it’s totally her last resort and it’s not like she has any other choices.
“I kinda got into a fight” she blurts out, looking down to her lap.
Barry raised his brow “You got into a fight? You? The princess herself?” He asked in disbelief, a small chuckle slipped out from his mouth “Was it a physical fight or just like mouth fighting? Does it involves hair pulling or tits punching?”
Hope makes disgust face “What? No, it’s not like that”
“Then, what is it?”
“I don’t really got into a fight, but I kinda the reason why the fight happened” she mutters, suddenly feels embarrassed.
She actually caused the fight, and JJ almost died tonight because of it. God, she feels horrible and ashamed.
Barry snorted “You? You start a fight?” he asked again, still disbelief “Were boys fighting over you or something? You know, like shit that happened in a movie” he playfully said, obviously not actually meant it.
But Hope doesn’t find it funny at all, because he actually got it right. And she’s way too embarrassed to admit it, so she just staring out blankly at him while fiddling with the water bottle.
Barry seems to caught the expression and sudden silence from her, his previous smile falter away and he starts to get serious “Oh shit, you’re actually got boys fighting over you?” he exclaimed once he connected all the dots together.
“Kind of” Hope confirmed it.
“Holy shit. You’re badder than I thought, Red” he chuckles, shaking his head “So, what happened? You mind to share with me?” he continues, suddenly feels intrigued to know. Calling him noisy or anything but ain’t no way he’s not trying to stuck his nose into it just to know about it.
“This isn’t funny, Barry. Someone almost die because of it” Hope states, she can see how much Barry is enjoying this but she doesn’t find it funny at all. She was freaked out and if Rafe actually killed JJ tonight, she would be in a life time guilt.
“That bad huh?” he leans against the couch.
“Very”
“Okay” he nods his head “Wait, do I know about that specific person? Are they like the kids from Country Clubs?” he continues, still trying to get to know more about it.
Hope chews her lips, because Barry indeed knows about them. He knows Rafe, he’s one of his customers and she certainly sure that he recognized JJ because they had a conversation about him before.
“Kinda” she shrugged, hoping that Barry is clever enough to catch something from it.
His eyes widened once again “Shit, is this about Country Club? Rafe Cameron were fighting over you?” he concluded and the expression from Hope instead of denying it just give out the answer to him.
“I just know things not very good if it’s involved that boy. He can be a little bitch about his drugs when he wants to” Barry grimaces, not really fond of Rafe. He’s acting a little impulsive sometimes for someone on his age. He’s making a deal with him a little difficult if things not going on his way.
“You should see him back then, Baz. He was—he was so aggressive and out of control. I never saw him like that” Hope continues her story, she thinks she can trust Barry for it. It’s not like he’s going to have a spill the tea session with his customers.
For as far as she knows. She hope not.
“What happened, actually? Were you caught cheating by him or something? Since when you’re in a funny business with him? Thought he’s too bitchy for a sweetheart like you”
“I did not cheating on him, he’s not my boyfriend” she aggressively said, not liking how it sounds. Yes, Rafe caught her kissing someone else but she’s not cheating. That’s not cheating all, she’s not in a relationship with Rafe. She made it very clear to him.
“Then, what happened?”
Hope chews her lips, feeling hesitates to tell Barry. “He—he caught me kissing JJ”
“JJ? As in Luke’s boy?”
Hope nods, watching his exasperated reaction “Shit, Kook. You’ve been busy lately huh? That’s why you’re been MIA this couple of days? You’re macking Luke’s son and your other boyfriend got mad when he found out?” he chuckles. The story is getting way too entertaining for him
“I’m not macking JJ, stop using that word. It’s–it’s cringed. And it was just a kiss, he was just kissing me” Hope cleared that out “I told you Rafe isn’t my boyfriend. He don’t have any right to be mad at it, or even react like he did”
Hope can feel her blood drawn again at the flash images of Rafe pounding on JJ. When he’s beating the blond to the pup and choked him almost to his death . Because he’s trying to get her to talk, because he’s trying to prove that he’s right.
“What did he do? You look like you just witnessed a murder crime” Barry is still keep going “No offense but that Cameron boy doesn’t look like he can hold a fight to himself more than 5 seconds”
Hope shoots him a look at the doubt from his words of what Rafe is capable to do. Barry has no idea what Rafe can do and his capabilities. She knows he can hold his fight, he’s not a person that will pulls back his punches no matter what happened. She knows it.
But what she doesn’t know that he’s actually capable of killing people. How he was acting back then, he’s so sure to himself that he’s going to unalive JJ. And he’s not feeling guilty at all, he’s stating it out loud that he always wants to kill a Pogue, that doesn’t mind if he actually did it tonight.
He actually wants to kill JJ. She can’t get that out from her mind. All this time, all her time that she spend with Rafe all alone. He’s so capable of killing her if he actually wants to, all the arguments they had before, it could lead to one. That making her to shiver, the thought of it making her to tremble.
“He wants to kill him” Hope mutters it out of sudden while she’s staring out blankly at an empty space of the living room. “He wants to kill JJ” she continues.
Barry cocked his brows “What?” he blurts at the unclear words from her. She looks like she’s talking to herself more than actually talking to her.
“You—you should see him. He, he was so mad and out of control. He said, he said he’s going to kill JJ and he didn’t mind if he actually did that. He said he always wants to kill a Pogue” Hope starts to hyperventilate, she feels like the entire trailer like on fire. She can feel her skin burned, that’s when she’s shrugging away the blanket from her body.
“Okay, Hope. Calm down, aight?” He starts to tense up at the action from the girl. He’s sitting up properly from the couch “Rafe is trying to kill Luke’s boy?” he repeats her words.
“Yeah” she nods “Because—because I kissed JJ. He said I’m not allows to kiss him, because—because I’m his girl. But I’m not his girl, not in that way. He can’t be mad at me, I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not my fault”
She starts to choke up on her own tears once again, her eyes starts to get blurry. She drops the water bottle from her hands, covering her face with them. A sob slipping out from her mouth.
“Was it my fault all of this happened? Because I chose JJ over him? Because I choose a Pogue? Was it wrong for me to do that?” she cried, her voice muffled against her palm “Why is everyone makes it like a big crime for me to like him? Am I not allowed to make my own decision? Do I need to let everyone choose everything in my life?”
Barry watched the girl falls back into the tears with the same previous knotted inside his stomach. Listening to her blurts out her own thoughts and feelings, it making him getting more tense. He doesn’t know what to do, he never encounter any situation like this before.
Usually, if anyone ever cry in front of him, he would just tell them to fuck off and he would walk away without feeling anything remorse about his action. But he can’t possibly doing that to Hope, she’s making him feels responsible to coax her.
“Shit” he mutters it, dropping down his head. He knows he has no other choices than go up to her and gives her a comfort that she’s needed.
Though Barry knows he barely can do that, he afraid if he’s only making everything worse. But seeing Hope like this, sobbing and choking on her own tears, he has no other choices.
“Hey, Hope. Don’t cry, okay?” he finally said, getting up from his couch to move to Hope’s side. Taking an empty spot next to the girl who is still covering her face with her hands. “It’s not—it’s not your fault that the boy acting like a douche. You don’t control him” he spoke, minding his tone and his words.
“But it is my fault. If I didn’t kiss JJ, he’s not going to beat him and JJ not going to get hurt” she cried “He’s got hurt so many times because of me, a lot of people got hurt because of me”
“Who cares, okay? You’re your own person, you can kiss anyone you want” Barry spats “You said he’s not your boyfriend, aight? Then, why he’s hassling the poor boy for? He don’t own you, you can kiss any other boys. Hell, even any girls if you actually into that”
Hope removes her hands from her face, slowly looks up to Barry who already sit by her side. A hiccup comes out from her, her eyes stained with tears with her lashes clump.
“I don’t know what to do, Barry. I feel sick, with everyone and everything. I don’t feel like I have my own life anymore” she continues “My whole life, I let people decide everything for me. I let my mom choose my clothes and event I need to attend to live up the name and images for my dad’s business. I work on my grades for years just so I can get into the Business school so I can take over the business one day” she stopped for awhile, taking a breath.
Barry keep listening to her without saying anything.
“Hell, I don’t even want to go to business’s school. I don’t want to take over my dad’s business” she announced, expressing her irritation “I let Topper control who I can be friends with, where I can and cannot go. I did all of that, because I’m trying not to piss them off. But one time, one time I make my own decision instead of letting someone else’s did for me, suddenly I’m the bad person. Suddenly I’m a disappointment, that I’m disgusting and a whore?”
Barry flinches at the last word from her “Who called you that?” he asks “Rafe called you that?”
“It doesn’t matter, okay? It only takes one mistake from me, only one and people starts to turn away from me. While I’m devoting my life, my whole life for them. I’m so sick of this” she continues, hiccupping again while she’s wiping away the tears that keep spilling out from her eyes.
Honestly, she’s sick of crying but she can’t control it anymore so she just let them out.
Barry let out a sigh, scratching the back of his neck while his brain working its gear to form any words to comfort the girl.
“Hey, listen to me, all right” he spoke, patting on her shoulder so she’s facing him and she did. She gives the man a look, waiting for him to spit out his words “I don’t know a shit about what you’ve been through and all the Kook’s problem you had, but I’m telling you right now, coming from me myself, fuck them all”
Hope blinks at the choice of words from him. But she didn’t say anything to protest, she keeps her ears perk up to listen to him.
“You are allow to make your own choices, they can’t tell you a shit. Not even your parents or your brother. That’s all bullshit to me. You’re not a doll or even a dog, they can’t make you to do things for them. Don’t do that to yourself, okay? You should stand up for yourself” he continues, and he can’t even believe everything that come out from his mouth.
Because he never said anything like this, never. For once, he hopes he just bluffing. But he knows everything that he said were coming straight from his heart. Or whatever left of it.
“So, right now. I want you to brace yourself up and start be your own person. Don’t let them tell you a shit, tell them to fuck off if they did” he added, he starts to put his hand on her head before he’s unconsciously brushing her hair to give her a comfort “And fuck that Cameron boy, okay? He can’t call out you with names just because you refused to jump on his dick and choose that blondie Pogue. Don’t let him has that control over you”
Hope chews her lower lips, can’t feel to feel his words straight into her heart and she can’t believe that Barry is capable of giving her a comfort that she’s been seeking.
“Okay” she finally said, nodding her head with a soft smile plaster on her face “I can—I can do that” she convinces herself, because she knows she can.
“And I’ll make sure to knock him out cold next time he’s coming here for his shits” he continues, gritting his teeth making Hope to chuckle “He’s still out for his payment and his due is tomorrow” Barry remembered about the deal he has with Rafe two days ago. He thinks he can set up something for it.
“Don’t do anything to him, Barry” Hope warned him, almost like she can read something from his mind. That causing Barry to click his tongue in disapproval.
“That’s the problem with you, Hope. You’re too nice, way too nice. That’s why people intend to take advantages on you, because they know you’re not going to say a shit” he pointed out causing Hope to frown a little “I told you to brace yourself up, do I? You need to start to do it now”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want you to beat Rafe”
“I never said anything about beating him”
“You said you want to knock him out cold!” Hope states, her tone get a little jump while pointing it out.
“Doesn’t mean I want to beat him. You can chill your ass down, I won’t do it” Barry continues. He actually will, what Hope doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
Hope just grumbles the complains, not dare to spit it out loud knowing she won’t win anything against him. Plus, Barry being nothing but nice towards her so she’s going to let it slide for now. She licks her lips, feeling the salty taste from her tears before she continues to wipe her cheeks with her hands. Sniffing a little.
“You okay, though, pretty girl?” he asks, dropping the previous conversation about Rafe and back to focus on the girl. She’s no longer sobbing, but there’s still small cried from her.
“Yeah” she nods, smiling to assure the man “Thank you, though. For listening to my shit talking. I just—I just can’t hold it anymore so I kinda, burst out” she continues, a small chuckle slipping out from her.
“Don’t say such thing, Kook. You’re good, we’re good” Barry assured, patting her head “Just, don’t do that again. This is a one time thing, aight? You’re pulling this shit again, I’m kicking you out from my porch”
Hope laugh loudly, almost let out a snort causing her to cover up her mouth. That action actually causing Barry to laugh along with her, can’t help to join the girl.
He can feel himself tensing down and relaxing, without his drugs. He guess that Hope just have than in her that capable of making people feels comfortable while being with her.
“Can I ask you for another favour?” she said, fiddling with her dress once again.
“What is it?”
“Can I—Can I crashed here for tonight? I don’t really want to go home” she mutters it “Because Rafe can find me there, I don’t want to see him right now”
Barry gives her a look at the request. He has no problem letting her crash on his place, but considering that his trailer will swarm with bunches of junkies the next morning the first, he doesn’t think that it’s a good idea. He doesn’t like to let Hope around those men, knowing how they’re going to look at her for being a girl.
“You sure you’ll be fine staying here? I mean, this isn’t like your big ass mansion and I don’t have king size of bed for the princes” he said, just making sure about it.
“I don’t really mind” she said, pursing her lips.
She’s not that picky, she can sleep wherever it is as long as it comfortable enough for her. Plus, she’s not going to complain a shit. She asked to stay here, she’s not going to say anything. That would be disrespectful of her.
“Sure, make yourself at home” Barry finally agreed “But I’m warning you. The first thing when the sun come out tomorrow, there’s going to be men come in here for their shit. Don’t come out from your room without telling me, aight? You don’t want to handle them”
Hope salute the man, putting up two fingers by her forehead “Aight, chief”
Barry rolls his eyes “Don’t be a bitch” he spats but Hope just chuckle, knowing he’s just joking. Though it sounds harsh for people to here it.
“Can I hug you?” Hope suddenly blurts causing Barry to snap his head back to her in quick motion almost break his neck “What?” he squeals, shooting her a disbelief look.
“Can I hug you?” she repeats her question, giving out an innocent look “I thought I really need a hug right now and you’re the only person here that can provide that”
“I’m not doing a shit like that”
“Oh, come on. It’s not that bad, maybe you also need one. To stop for being such an uptight”
Barry scoff “I’m an uptight now?” he questioned, cocking his dark brow at her making Hope to scrunch up her face “A little. Sometime” she reply, shrugging her shoulder.
The man shaking his head at her childish action. But a hug sounds like a good deal to him, maybe he can give out a small hug for her. It’s not everyday he did that.
“Come here you spoiled brat” Barry said, opening his arm to allow the girl leaning into him.
Hope smiles brightly before she falls into his embraces, letting his strong arms to wrap up around her while she’s sneaking deeper into his chest.
Barry can’t help to smile, throwing the awkwardness away while trying his best to give the comfort to her. He feels the girl shifts lightly around his arms but she doesn’t say anything, he thought maybe he’s doing a great job with it. He let out a breath, before he let himself to also lean into it.