Her entire drive back home, Nairobi had decided that she wanted to apologize to Jacobi. During her drive, She had the opportunity to tell Shadae and Raelynn the dilemma that she was faced with. She explained that while she was firm on her answer, she found herself missing Jacobi more than she had thought. He had become apart of her daily routine, and there was no denying that he made her happy.
He always helped her in any way he could with her school work, he would pick her up from her classes to take her to eat. She would constantly come home to flowers at her campus apartment. All around Jacobi was sweet and nice and went out of his way to see her happy and content.
It wasn't that Kaier lacked those things in their relationship in the slightest. But towards the end of their time together his mind seemed to be somewhere else at times. It felt nice to be with someone who didn't participate in activities that required him to be out till morning. Or watching their back because of whatever beef they had created.
Her friends encouraged her to reach out and have another conversation with him. She was nervous about how willing he would be to talk to her but she wanted to apologize for acting like she didn't care about how they ended.
She also knew that they were bound to run into each other while at her brothers gender reveal later in the day. Her hope was that they were able to have a more productive conversation than they had a few days ago.
Despite enjoying her time spent with Jacobi, Nairobi didn't know if she was necessarily ready for a committed relationship. She had been in a relationship all of her teenage years and now at almost twenty years old, she was enjoying getting to know herself as a freshly single girl who was about to be a women.
One thing her mother always stressed to her was learning how to be by herself. Sunny was in a relationship most of her life, and she had explained to her daughter how it contributed to her inability to leave Sekani. Sunny had never truly learned how to be by herself.
She was always honest with her daughter because she didn't want her to have the same fate. Sunny would never regret her life because she ended up with her children but she didn't want her daughter to make the same mistakes. Neither did Nairobi, but it was proving to be harder than she had thought.
Her heart pounded faster as she pulled into his apartment building, arriving faster than she would have liked. She checked herself in the mirror before getting out and walking into the lobby and straight to the elevator. She got off the elevators, not as sure about popping up as she was during her drive.
She knocked softly first, when he didn't response, she furrowed her eyebrows, slightly knocking harder.
Her heart dropped when his door opened and his ex Sasha was on the other side, crossing her arms. "Nairobi?" She questioned with an attitude.
Nairobi took a step back trying to process what was happening, she looked up again making sure she was at the right door number. "Don't be answering my door like you still live here," She heard Jacobi tease as he approached the door.
She took another step back before turning to go back to the elevator, deciding that she no longer want him to know that she popped up. She walked swiftly hitting the button, multiple times as she felt the tears already welling in her eyes.
"Who was it?" Jacobi asked as Sasha shut the door before he could make it there.
She turned around a look of disgust on her face, "Why is Mook's little sister showing up at your door?" She raised an eyebrow.
Jacobi's heart immediately dropped, he automatically knew how it would look to Nairobi since Sasha opened the door. Despite their argument he didn't want her to think she had caught him fucking his ex. He fast walked to the door snatching it open, he hoped to see her on the other side.
When he didn't he popped out into the hallway, noticing that the elevator doors were closing. Without thinking, he immediately took off down the staircase in only his socks.
While in the elevator Nairobi was still in shock so her tears had yet to start so she was trying to hold them, knowing that once she started she wouldn't be able to stop.
"Nairobi?!" She heard Jacobi's voice echo through the lobby as she got off the elevator. Prompting her to immediately pick up her speed to the exit.
Jacobi jogged over to her grabbing her arm before she could walk out of the doors, "What you doing here Nai?!" He questioned pulling her towards him.
The questioned infuriated her more as she immediately began pushing him away from her and trying to snatch her arm out of his hold. "Really?! Get the fuck off of me!" She yelled.
"No- I didn't mean it like that. Nai, it's not what it seem!" He tried to reason with her. Their tussling getting more aggressive as she tried even harder to fight him off. With all of her energy now being focused on getting out of his hold, she could no longer concentrate on holding back her tears. "Nairobi just listen!" He snapped wanting her to calm down.
"Boog," She stopped fighting when she recognized that she wasn't stronger. "I just want to leave," She pleaded with tears rolling down her cheeks.
"You don't just get to pop up at my place and not let me explain," He said, digging himself into a deeper hole.
She furrowed her eyebrows, "You right, I'm wrong let me go so you can back to doing whatever the fuck you were doing." She said trying to fight against his grip again.
"Nairobi you not even going to let me talk to you?" He pleaded.
"No I just want to leave, you right I should have never came," She looked away her tears coming down even harder.
Jacobi sighed, finally letting her go. "It wasn't shit like that Nai, I just needed somebody to talk to." He tried to explain, but it fell on deaf ears. Nairobi no longer believed any words that came out of his mouth.
"It's cool," She wiped her tears. "You single, you don't have to explain shit to me."
He shook his head, "Nairobi
"No. Go be with your bitch." She snapped finally walking out. He followed her out of the doors trying to grab her one more time. She immediately snatched away, quickly sliding in her drivers seat and slamming the door.
As she drove to her mom's house she couldn't help but blame herself for showing up to his place unannounced. But she couldn't help but feel like she was meant to see that. Regardless of what he said was or wasn't going on in his apartment, she felt that it was extremely hypocritical of him to scold her about her decisions to be friends with Kaier. Just to turn around and be caught with his ex at his place, especially an ex he claimed to never want in his presence again.
They had their argument not even a whole week ago, and he was already laid up with the women who had hurt him the most. While she understood that her relationship with Kaier was intimidating to Jacobi. One thing she always was with him was honest.
That's what hurt her feelings the most. Jacobi could say whatever he wanted about her friendship with Kaier. But one thing he could never say was that he was blindsided like she just was. Whatever the situation was between the two, Sasha opening his door was the last thing that she expected.
As she pulled into her mom's driveway, she figured that she should pull herself together. She hoped to refrain from her mother knowing that she was crying just a few minutes ago. She checked herself in the mirror, wiping her face and reapplying her lipgloss. Trying her best to rid her mind of what she had seen minutes before.
She got out of the car blowing out a breath as she approached the front door, the house was surprisingly quiet when she entered. Slightly settling her anxiety of running into anyone who would ask her what was wrong. As she went into the kitchen deciding to go onto the balcony and smoke a blunt to calm her nerves. She noticed that her stepfather had already beaten her to it. Before she could turn around he noticed her, "Babygirl!" He yelled nodding her over to him.
She stepped out onto the balcony where Jay-Z lowly played from a speaker, he ashed the blunt before patting the seat next to him. "Sit down Babygirl, I missed you." Nairobi sat next to him, grabbing the backwood from him. She was grateful that her mother wasn't home and her step-father took it as an opportunity to smoke with his daughter because it was very needed on her end.
"I missed you too," She smiled. "Where is Ma?" She questioned before taking a pull from the blunt.
He shrugged, "Somewhere getting shit ready for this gender reveal, you know she been ripping and running all month."
Nariobi chuckled nodding her head, she knew that her mother had every intention of going all out for her first grandchild.
"Wassup why you come in here looking all sad who I got to kill?" He questioned noticing that she wasn't her usual smiling self.
Nairobi shook her head, "I don't really want to talk about it," She spoke honestly.
He nodded, "Okay, well if you want to talk I'm here Baby. Is it about that Kaier boy?" He raised an eyebrow.
Marvin never had any problem with Kaier, but like any father figure, he was skeptical over any man interested in his daughter.
"No not really," She shook her head. "But can I ask you something?"
"Of course," He agreed, grabbing the blunt back from her.
"How did you be with mom knowing that she was probably still in love with my Dad?" She questioned.
Marvin sighed thinking as he exhaled, Nairobi hoped that her question wasn't offensive to him. "Shit I guess, I had to take her word for it. Your mother told me that she was ready to move on and I believed her. But she never gave me a reason to think otherwise. I think you can love two people at one time but it doesn't mean that you are in love with both. Your mother will always have love for your pops even though he is gone, they were together for years. And I can't do nothing but respect that, but I built a life with your mother and I have to trust that this where she want to be. Shit trust really, that's the only answer. Without trust Nai, you don't have shit." He pulled from the blunt. "Why you asking that, you still in love with that boy?"
She shrugged, "I don't think so, but I still have love for him. It's always been us since we were basically kids. I guess I just don't know how to completely let that go without feeling wrong or guilty."
Her stepdad nodded, "Love is a hard ass thing to navigate baby girl. But you young, it's okay to move on from somebody. It's nothing to feel guilty about you probably going to date and meet hella other people before you settle down. You don't need to feel tied down to anybody at this age. Moving on from him don't mean you love him any less it just mean you love yourself more. I dated hella girls as a youngin, I thought was in love with. You'll figure it out eventually, ain't no rush."
"I also been a boy, at this age they only be focused on a few things. And being a loyal boyfriend prolly ain't one of them."
Nairobi nodded taking in his advice, "Thank you Mike. I don't know if I tell you enough I appreciate you for loving me like your own." She spoke honestly, feeling the need to express herself.
Mike smiled, touched by her statement. "Of course Babygirl, I always wanted a daughter, and im grateful that I met your mother. I know I can never replace your Pops but you know you got me for anything."
"Thank you, I know." She smiled. "I'm going to lay down for a little bit before this gender reveal."
He nodded, "Aye," He spoke as she opened the sliding door prompting her to turn back around. "Whatever nigga got you crying, ain't worth fucking up your mental." He said sternly. Mike knew his stepdaughter well enough to know that she had been upset about something even if she was too prideful to say it. She nodded taking in his advice before closing the door behind her and heading upstairs to her room.
------------------------------------------------
Four hours later she was dressed and on her way to the gender reveal. The entire week she was more than excited to find out if she was having a niece or a nephew. Now the only thing she could think about was dreading being in Jacobi's presence. She knew that in order to avoid her brother's nagging questions she would have to pretend that everything was okay between them.
At the moment that seemed impossible.
She checked herself in the mirror, reapplying her clear lipgloss before she exited her car. Nairobi rolled her eyes, at her ghetto cousins who stood outside of the venue passing a backwood. "Is that Baby!" Her cousin Troy yelled out as she approached.
"Why are you yelling?" She laughed as she approached the group.
He shrugged before pulling her into a hug, "Wassup stranger. How school been?"
"Good," She shrugged. "I'm ready for break though." She added as she went around the group hugging her cousins. "My brothers already here?"
"Hell yeah, they in there." One of her cousins responded. "You wanna hit this?" He extended the blunt out to her.
She shook her head, not wanting to be high in front of her grandmothers who still thought she was a saint. "I'm good, Ima go in." They nodded stepping aside so she could enter, a smile instantly appeared on her face as she took in the teddy bear decorations and pink and blue that filled the venue. One thing that her mother knew how to do well was throw a party.
"Nai Nai!" Her mother shouted from across the place.
"Hi Mommy," She cheesed as her mom brought her in for a tight hug.
"I missed you Baby," Her mom smiled. "Go put on your pin," She pointed at the table by the door.
Nairobi nodded picking up the pink pin that sat on the table, she hoped it was a girl so that she was no longer the only one. As she walked away to find her brothers, someone grabbed her on the arm. She turned around, met with Jacobi's pleading eyes. "Can I talk to you?" He questioned sternly in her ear.
Jacobi had been blowing up her phone since she left his apartment to no avail. After the tenth call and text, she had blocked his number and decided to go on about her day. She rolled her eyes, snatching her arm out of his hold. "Boog please leave me the fuck alone."
Jacobi scrunched his face hating for her to call him by his nickname, "So you just never going to have a fucking conversation with me?" He followed behind her.
"Yeah. I don't have shit to say to you," She picked up her pace trying to pinpoint her brothers in the crowded room. She finally spotted them standing by a table with some of their friends, making her way over in an attempt to avoid conversation with Jacobi. She knew he wouldn't dare bring up this morning's events in front of her brothers.
"Wassup Baby," Their friends greeted her.
"Well if it ain't the two love birds," Shiloh teased.
Nairobi did her best to avoid rolling her eyes, ignoring his comment as she gave both of her brothers a hug. "You think it's a girl?" Mook scrunched his face noticing her pin and her pink sweatsuit set.
She cheesed smiling, "Yes! I can't wait to buy her all these cute little outfits."
Mook shook his head looking behind her at his best friend, "Wassup with you nigga? Why you looking like a mad ass,"
Boog chuckled, "I'm chillin' nigga," He lied dapping his best friend up.
"I'ma go find Diamond I'll be back," She let out, excusing herself from the conversation.
Instead of following behind her, Boog watched her walk away. "Wassup y'all good nigga? What did you do to my sister?" Mook questioned noticing the tension between the two.
Jacobi sighed nodding his head, "We good."
Mook eyed him, "Ight nigga, I'm letting yall do whatever yall doing but you know I'll pop a nigga behind her?" He raised an eyebrow studying his friend who still watched Nairobi as she moved around the room speaking to everyone.
He chuckled although he knew his best friend was very serious. "Yeah I know, we good," He dapped him up once again.
He remained with his eyes trained on Nairobi for most of the party, wanting to know what she was thinking and desperately hoping to talk to her. As always despite her sour mood, Nairobi kept a smile on her face as she interacted with her family and friends.
Shortly after the pink confetti and powder shot out across the room she decided that it was time for her to make her exit, tired of putting on a facade. He watched her as she made her rounds saying goodbye to everyone, before she finally headed for the exit. He waited a few moments before following her out. He slightly jogged as she did his best to catch up to her fast pace, once again grabbing her arm before she could open her front door.
"Nai can you let me talk I swear I'll leave you alone," He pleaded.
She smacked her lips, "Get in." She popped her locks satisfying him.
He nodded, jogging around to the passenger side. "Nairobi I wasn't fucking her." He let out as soon as his door closed.
She rolled her eyes, "So what the fuck was she doing at your apartment at nine in the morning? I got dummy bitch written on my forehead?" She spewed.
Jacobi was slightly taken aback, he could feel the anger radiating off of her. He had never seen her so mad, at least not as a result of him. He shook his head, "No. She hit me up when I first got back here last night and asked if we could talk. I just wanted closure Nai, I ain't expect her to answer the door like that. I know what that shit looked like but it wasn't that."
She chuckled shaking her head, "Your hypocritical as fuck."
"Nairobi, how the fuck was I supposed to know you was going to show up at my shit? I apologize I know that shit look bad but, we ain't talked in two weeks and you popping up at my place?"
She scrunched her face, "I came to apologize and try to have a real conversation. I didn't know I had to schedule a fucking appointment so I didn't run into your ex. You lectured me about being friends with Kai when I was always honest about that shit. To my knowledge you didn't even want to be in the same room with Sasha so what changed in two weeks?"
He drug a hand down his face, "I wanted closure Nai I just said that."
"Yeah okay," She laughed. "You wouldn't take my word but i'm supposed to take yours?"
"Nairobi I want to move on from that shit with Sasha, you was right when you said without trust we don't have shit. The only reason I agreed to talk to her is because I don't want to carry that shit with her into what I'm trying to build with you. When I found out that shit about Sasha, I put her shit out and I never spoke to her ass again. I just needed to know that her fucking Dre wasn't because of something I did." He explained.
"And what did you find out?" She raised an eyebrow.
"She wasn't happy," He shrugged. "Ain't shit I could have done. She wanted to be with somebody else and reap the benefits of what I was giving her."
Nairobi didn't offer a response. She didn't know how to feel, she didn't think that she had ever been put in a situation where she was solely forced to rely on somebodies word. She could honestly say that now she knew how he felt, about her relationship with Kaier.
She feared that he could be looking her directly in her eyes and lying to her. But, she had never known Jacobi to lie. She also knew that there was a first time for everything.
"Nai wassup what you thinking?" He questioned when he realized she had no plans of responding.
"I just need to think, I want to believe you. But I don't appreciate that you don't give me that same grace. We really don't have anything without trust, and I won't be with somebody who doesn't trust me. That's unfair," She finally responded.
"I get that," He nodded. "I hate for you to feel like I don't trust you. I don't want to start what i'm trying to build with you like that. It is unfair, and I apologize for playing you like a liar or a hoe. I know you ain't never lied to me."
"I need some time to think." She said staring out the window.
He sighed, "Shit me too. I think we both got to figure our own shit out first. I need to heal from my past relationship and you need to figure out what you want."
Nairobi raised an eyebrow, "But I know what I want, I keep telling you that."
He shook his head, "Ima be honest. I don't think you do Nai. And that's okay, y'all was fucking with each other for a long time. But, after today I don't want shit to do with Sasha ion have no plans of speaking to her again. But I meant what I said when I said i'm not interested in being with nobody who still got relations with they ex. That shit not going to change."
"Soo-" She started but he cut her off.
"Unless you willing to completely cut that nigga off. We ain't got shit to talk about." He said firmly. "So you can think about it or whatever you need to do. Ima be here."
Nairobi nodded, the conversation didn't go how she planned at all. For some reason she wanted to believe Jacobi but she didn't know if it would be foolish of her after what she saw. She also know that it would be hypocritical of her to expect him to take her word, if she couldn't take his.
Regardless, Jacobi was right. They couldn't have anything until they both sorted their own problems out. She understood that being friends with Kaier was something that he couldn't over look, but she also wouldn't build anything with someone who was too fucked up over their pass to fully trust.
"Can I call you later?" She questioned, needing some time to think.
Jacobi nodded, he wasn't exactly happy with the fact that she needed so much time to think on her decision. But, he acknowledged that after this morning he wouldn't exactly trust him either. He wanted Nairobi to want him but he wasn't going to force it, if she chose her friendship with her ex in the end. He was going to respect her decision.
Nairobi was one of the most loyal and real women he had met. He felt that it was sometimes at a fault, but he wasn't going to tell her how to feel about her first love. He could only hope that she was ready to leave him behind.
"You got my number," He responded assuring her that he would give her time. He leaned over the console placing a kiss on her cheek, "I apologize for real. Ion never want you to not trust me Nai."
She couldn't say that she accepted his apology because she honestly didn't know to feel. Instead she only nodded, before reaching over and popping her locks. Jacobi took it as his signal to exit knowing that he was still skating on thin ice with her.
She sighed as she watched him walk back into the gender reveal, unsure of what she was feeling about everything. She knew that she had to make up her mind for real this time, and today only confused her more.
——————————————————————————
-Muah, no bars
Heyyy y'all! Ion really know how I feel about this
chapter 😗 But I wanted to write something for y'all cause it's been a little minute..
Anywayyy as always let me know how y'all feeling!
Who y'all think Nairobi should choose?
Should she believe Jacobi?