YUVEN
Clunk. Hush. Clunk. Hush. It echoed down the corridor in a somber, teary refrain as he bumped his head against Fenrer's door as he sat in the dirt and made himself bleed on the wall he formed. One glyph in his hands, he tossed snowballs into the one across from him to shudder it into mist, reforming it back in his hand, to repeat the same process over, over, and over. Fenrer's sniffles and hard breaths echoed out to him in his spatial distortion, but he wasted his own pride when he leaned deeper into the door. What can I say that would even... make what I did right? He sat out there with Advanced Glyphs and Casts in his lap, turning each page and reading nothing upon them. One more chunk of snow. Another carrier of his frustration when he tossed it into the other half of his glyph. "Molvi?"
Fenrer quieted.
"Neven..." Yuven chewed on his lip and shoved his arm through his spatial distortion to drop the package on the other side of the door. "You should at least go see him. Maria said he was recovering well enough that he should awaken fully today." One more furious bounce off the wall, he got up, book tucked underneath his arm. Because all he's been doing is asking for you. Why you? What did you two discuss before he left? He dug his nails into the boards of Fenrer's door. Don't... I'm not worth your tears, why does my opinion matter so much? Fangs in his lip, he threw a half-hearted kick into the spot Fenrer sat against, then stalked off to head for the Infirmary with his great shame. In the promise of silence, he gulped down his daily medication, the thick texture uncomfortable on the roof of his mouth as he resisted the urge to gag as he drew into the Infirmary. Healers sorted through the cupboards over the more public beds with curtains open to reveal the emptiness — a rare sight indeed, for those in their trade, but their numbers dwindled as Turns passed. Wardens out there he outlived.
In the back area, the Infirmary separated into private rooms as his bloodline cursed those around him and himself. White flames scorched the runeward and he let himself inside Neven's suite. Maria's alchemy station and ledgers were without her presence, though she marked down days of his condition and the things he ate or refused to. On the end table, a stout phial full of essence in a basket with a white-speckled wyvern fruit, one slice already taken when its sweet and sour aroma entered his nostrils as Neven chewed on the seeds. "Yuven." Neven chomped on the rest with vicious, fanged fervor of their ancestors, and the sensation of scales brushed against the grain of his fingers before using a cloth to wipe the cyan juices off his fingertips. "Hello, have you brought Fenrer with you?"
Would that I could drag him over the wall I built in front of him and hadn't broke his heart with the bricks. Yuven rubbed his fingers and stepped up to Neven's side to put a smile on his face, not understanding how Fenrer did it. "You've got this backwards, Miesero. It's supposed to be me in that bed... not you." He limped into the visitor's seat near his head. "So... that really happened, didn't it?" He drove his knuckles into his eyes. "Those people hurt you... because of me, because they think I can... or even want to do anything to 'save' Naveera." He air-quoted with a scoff. "When I can barely..."
Stop my Oathbound from crying due to my stupidity. Uncertainty choked him at the thought when Neven peered at him and knew far more than he needed to do without the cruel magicks which swirled Aurus' eyes.
"It's... not your problem."
Yuven jolted at Neven's cold tone, but his fangs disappeared deeper into his jaw when he sighed. "Yuven, those problems are too much for one man, let alone a child," he said, and he found his logical arguments dying with his actions towards Fenrer, a Turn younger. "Those problems have existed since time immemorial. People destitute out in the streets, seeking out sanctuaries for measly lives. Children left without parents. It is all too common, and you shouldn't be burdened with seeking a nonexistent magickal cure to what plagues our people." He put a hand on his heart and leaned closer. "It is us, Yuven. We barely know who we are... so we sing the song of our ancient fear; our apathy, and spread it like a contagion — our terrible siren song."
Apathy.
Yuven hooked his finger in the air and pointed at him. "Hard to imagine you singing any terrible song," he forced out through a trembled laugh. "Your magicks woven into your voice is... far more intense than theirs, Miesero."
"Yet... I still could not get them to listen to it," Neven said and put a hand on his shoulder to squeeze it. "I'm okay, I am recovering."
Yuven studied him and imagined the worst case scenarios, of Neven beaten and bloody, surrounded by black spheres of swirling mass. "Did they get anything out of you?" he questioned. "I know Aurus magick is hard to resist when you're under duress."
Neven raised an eyebrow into the tired creases in his brow. "What do you refer to? I was not interrogated using an Aurus." He hiked his blankets over his knees and shook out his feathers. "It was a burning rune circle overfilled with ice and fire." He brushed his fingers over his arms with a physical shudder. "I gave them nothing but your name — because for Avaerilians who screamed their song, they forgot the vital component of it." His fingers dug deep and tented his skin when small plumes of mist left through his nose in stressful waves. "Maria told me the searing on my aura will heal, but-why do you ask if an Aurus did this to me?" Thoughts scattered, Yuven flinched when Neven swung his head to him. "Does Fenrer think that? I know I must've caused him some pain in shoving him out but I didn't want him to be branded from my memories."
"I ask because of what happened to me in Volaris, stolen away just moments from coming home," Yuven forced out while manacles tied him down to the chair and the icy floor below. "One dug deep into my memories where not even Fenrer dared tread... and they used you and Maria against me to make me compliant." It dripped off his chest as Neven widened his eyes. "So, I ask because how else would they have done it?" Venom dripped off his tongue, and Fenrer's tears mixed with his own. "Miesero, I've made a mistake."
"That's what happened?" Neven asked, strangled by his hypocrisy with a fury to shake his feathers. "You were taken to Volaris against your will as I was, and imprisoned to get your memories torn out of you by force?"
Yuven nodded and waved his hands. "Ever since then, I keep having nightmares. I keep thinking — wondering if maybe Fenrer can—If he's treading the darkness inside of me. Don't you get it?" He threw himself upwards. "Look at what this situation has done... Miesero, in front of Fenrer, my Oathbound, the one person who only ever used his abilities for good — I said the law doesn't stop Aurus from manipulation, from using people's deepest secrets and darkest emotions against them." He gave Neven no time to react or process, unloading his shame onto his lap. "When Fenrer refused to dive back into your mind, I snapped at him, asking him why that's stopping him when it hasn't stopped anyone else? I said his abilities were a curse that stole away someone's dignity and peace of mind—" Tears slipped down his cheeks. "And I've done just that to him... with my voice alone. Now... whose apathetic song am I singing?"
Neven's torment washed out into disbelief. "Yuven... is that why Fenrer hasn't come around?" His voice trembled with righteous, parental fury as a hiss expelled out of his nose. "He's been avoiding you? Has he been blaming himself for what happened to me? Have you?" Yuven held his ground when Neven swung himself out of the bed with a rattle to his long, golden feathers. "What happened to you wasn't right! Of course not!" He hauled himself out of the bed with tightened, violet pupils. "How could it be? There's no forgiving that, whether they bent the law or not." Neven swung out his arms, branded with unseen runes. "Why do it to Fenrer who you are bound to by the soul? Any pain you do unto him, you do to yourself. You know that. You were told that when you became Oathbound. You know Fenrer's power lies not in his eyes, but in the fact that he is an incredible empath. Any emotions you feel, any spite, rage, or apathy you throw at him, how can you not expect him to intake it into his own soul?"
"Because I made a mistake in agreeing—"
"No," Neven's hiss came out a snap, sharp scold. "You are not to refer to that as a mistake."
Yuven sucked in his lips and hunched in his shoulders, a petulant child underneath a wyvern's teeth to discipline the wyverlet. "He won't come out of his room!" he argued when Neven's misty plume pushed him into the face, but he accepted the anger which barely held a candle to his own. "How can I even begin to explain—?"
"Explain? Yuven, Fenrer doesn't need an explanation. You need to apologise!"
"As if that'll undo it," Yuven bit with his own hiss. "It'll sound disingenuous."
"It won't." Neven came closer, almost nose to nose with him, and he squirmed underneath the heated disappointment. "You spoke out the words already, because you have those thoughts. You know you do, so that's why the apology will break apart on the thin ice. Once a song is sung... there is no going back, the only thing that can change is the notes which come next, and that is up to you." He poked his chest. "You alone. Where is Fenrer now?"
"In his room, but Miesero—" Yuven rushed behind him when Neven sent one last burst of wind into his face and stomped out on shaky, but firm knees. "Miesero, you shouldn't be out of bed." He slammed to a stop when Maria came through the doors, but she swung herself out of the way to protect her package of phials when Neven pushed himself past her without another word. Her gaze slammed to him, and he curled his fingers in the air.
"Do I even want to know?" she asked as she tucked the box under her arms.
Yuven spluttered on weakness. "I... made a—Ancients, how can he forgive me?"
As he spoke out the words in Fenrer's shadow, he looked up at the four statues who carried the people's mighty faith. Chimes soothed Fenrer's breathing as he sat in the candlelight and let the darkness slip down his face with his unspoken prayers. It bubbled the essence within the glass aqueducts, guided by the gemstones while he cowered behind Fenrer, fearful of the flimsy hope it brought others. Maria's arm slacked, but she hiked the box back into her strong arms to set it to the side, facing him once more. Her fingers tapped the edges as she faced him with a suspicious glare. "What did you do when you stormed out of the Infirmary the day we came back, Yuven?"
Yuven tasted Fenrer's agony. "I said in no uncertain terms that all Aurus are alike — in that they will use their powers for ill when given the chance... right in front of Fenrer. He heard every-venomous-word born from what happened to me — to us. He suffered just as much as I did." The smile which cracked his lips bled his soul, across the starlit boundary which connected them as two halves of a whole. "And now he has locked himself in his room... and I don't even know if he's okay. I don't know if he's on the other side able to even listen. Or torturing himself because of me."
Her arms slipped to her sides as the firelight glowed the amber irides. "What?"
Yuven opened his mouth to release his shame out onto the world when Fenrer had tried to give him a smoother path, but he knew nothing but how to tumble through them, a gale of chaos. Sunlit fury bobbed her throat, but quick footsteps echoed outside the corridor. A younger Warden opened the door. "Captain Traye?" they asked and swung a scroll. "Warden-Commander Faehariel wants you to meet her in the mailroom. She said it's urgent."
"We'll talk about this after, Yuven," Maria said before he could step away from her.
"Yeah." Yuven rushed out after the young Warden, in the opposite direction of where Neven had gone. "What is this about?"
"It's about that Anima—"
"Adara?" Yuven questioned, and the pebbles in his heart turned to giant stones. "What about her?"
In the center heart of the citadel, he and the young Warden ran into the mailtower, where Faehariel and another older Warden read over a thick parchment, stamped with the Conclave's seal. No... oh no... not now. What is with their timing? Yuven took it from her when he spotted an opportunity to read it through in full. He chewed on resentment.
"I hope she's ready, Warden Traye," Faehariel whispered with a frown. "The date is set... and I'm afraid we're the ones on the backfoot for this. We have no time for supplemental lessons. Adara Sazaka is to be judged by the High Magickae... with Sovereign Hirishi to bear witness with her Dyrenji heritage."
Monarchs. "Are they going to be a problem?" Yuven dug his fangs into his tongue.
"No. I am sorting an escort... I know you said you want no further involvement past what you've already done — but I advise you to think on it before coming to that decision. I know you've been through a lot," she said, careful. "But you're the one that taught her... you would be surprised what comfort you could provide at this pivotal junction. What happens here, Yuven Traye... is going to dictate a lot more."
Ruin. Ruin and agony. Yuven folded the letter and tucked it into his leather strap. "Does she know yet?"
"No, I was to send a Warden to her."
Yuven shook his head. "I'll do it. I know where she is. I shall not delay." He swung himself into his spatial distortion, and followed the familiar routes to the citadel. It blurred, but he found himself slowing to a stop in front of Fenrer's room when he spotted Neven's blur rushing back to the Infirmary, concern dripping his previously furious features. On his knees out of the wall, he scrambled for the door.
"Molvi, you have to let me in!" he pleaded when the corridors fell silent. "I know I messed up. Fuck." Yuven jumped through the distortion to enter the cold room. Icy soot spilled out of the fireplace, the candle wicks melted into goo in their holders. Dust littered the room, and he swung himself to the bed. Against it, Fenrer Pyren slumped, his braid loose and the wolven-pin stained a dull color, but when he blinked, it disappeared as he slid for him. "Fen." Yuven held onto his cheeks to force him to look at him. "Fen!"
Dullness emptied out the swirls when Fenrer switched a shard of his attention to him.
"I'm sorry," he rasped.
Fenrer remained dead silent, and Yuven drew himself back to study his entire frame. "What have you been doing to yourself?" He inched closer to wipe some strands of hair off his clammy face to get a better look at his confused, colorless eyes, choking on realization at the frozen spirals. "Gods, that's what you've been doing all this time? You've been attacking yourself with all the auras in this place? Fen, you need to wake up." He held onto his cheeks tighter and tried to drag him out of the mindless Auric Trance without a goal or a source. "I know I made a mistake and I can't take it back, but you don't deserve this... and neither does she."
Fenrer's lips parted in slow to process confusion. "Huh...?"
"The Elder Conclave sent a message," he said quickly. "Process that however you want, I—" I don't have time. She needs to know as fast as possible!
His thought sparked a light in Fenrer's eyes, and he grunted when Fenrer shoved him and stole the paper from him with a single, rushed breath. "You're the one that didn't want to bother anymore," he bit, tears back in his eyes. "... so why start now?" He ran out of the room, but as long as the message was delivered, he didn't care.
He let himself sink into the spatial distortion with Fenrer Pyren out of his reach.
No... even if I wanted to... Fenrer Pyren isn't about to let me... because why start now?