♡HARLEY♡
stepping into the place i hadnt been in for close to two months brought back memories.
my eyes shifted over to the seat me and my sister last sat in as i confronted her about liking veronica.
veronica who is our girlfriend now.
i smiled at the thought but it quickly turned into a frown.
i wanted to be there- with them.
tasting my pretty girl hole again but no.
instead im here meeting with the last person on earth i wanted to be around.
looking around the diner i tried to find the woman i was actually here for.
i started to get angry thinking that she stood me up even though shes the one who invited me here but as i almost gave up, i saw bright red locs.
i began walking down the isle to her. without a greeting i slipped into the seat in front of her.
"oh hi" she greeted with wide eyes, not expecting me.
"what do you want?" i asked, dismissing her greeting and just wanted to get straight to the point.
"you look.. wow" she looked down at my black tube top, matching black skirt and i had on a black cardigan.
i came here straight from my own company just wanting to get this over with so she could stop bugging me.
"i dont care what you think. what do you want?" the irritation i was feeling made me want to lash out and she'd be the closest person i could lash out at.
"im just saying you look beautiful" she forced a smile probably feeling awkward from my snappiness but it was well deserved.
my foot tapped rapidly against the floor beneath the table. i just stared at her wondering when she'd talk.
"... um i wanted to explain what happened that day"
"whats there to explain?" i asked harshly and leaned on the table.
"um.."
"im giving you a chance to explain, so explain" i snapped.
"im sorry for what i did" she whispered not even looking at me.
"oh you mean when you cheated on me?" i forced eye contact. her eyes were already building up with tears but i didnt believe they were real tears.
two years of dealing with her manipulation made me practically a pro at spotting out when she actually feels horrible and when she wants me to think she feels horrible.
even if my analyses is incorrect and she does feel bad, its too late for that. whats done is done.
she looked down in what I'd assume was supposed to be shame. "yeah.."
"then im wasting my time here" i laughed mirthlessly. "the situation explained itself that day"
"i just.. i didnt mean to"
"you didnt mean to sleep with my best friend?" i asked incredulously. i looked up at the ceiling as i tried not to laugh like a maniac. i looked back down. "you know, it probably would've hurt just a tiny bit less if it was her to initiate it? either way it was still wrong because you were in a committed relationship and she's old enough to know it was wrong but why would you still do what you did? to know you kissed her, you insisted on doing something even when she refused hurt. it hurt so much more than to know my best friend actually gave in. that day i lost the girl who i thought was the love of my life and my best friend since middle school"
amirah looked at me with sad eyes but i didnt share the same feeling, only hatred that i was even speaking to her.
i was feeling very annoyed. i want to be anywhere but here. anywhere.
amirah tried to reach out for my hand that was resting on the table but i snatched it back as if i was burnt and looked at her with disgust.
"dont touch me"
"harley.."
"i did so much for you. took you in when your parents kicked you out. fed you. slept on my couch for weeks while you laid in my bed. i even went out of my way to set you up with some very important people to get a job and that was how you repaid me? fucking my best friend then trying to cry your way back into my life? God your more pathetic then i thought" i spit out.
im lucky for my self control. it wasnt very packed in here but it was still a lot of people. im sure if some nosy person heard me speaking to her this way they'd try to escort me out and tell me im wrong.
i dont think i could deal with that without putting my hands on someone.
amirah only stared speechless at me. its funny she wanted to meet so she could "explain herself" and yet i was the only one talking.
"im sorry, please forgive me" amirah begged, her bottom lip trembling. not even a piece of my heart felt bad. "its bad to have this much hatred"
"trust me i dont hate you. i dont even think of you. you arent that important amirah" i spat.
"please-"
"im leaving" i stated. her cries were doing nothing but irritating me even more.
i stood up and began to walk away.
"im pregnant"
the one sentence stopped me from walking and i stood behind her still looking at the door of the diner.
"i have a vagina so it isnt mine"
amirah let out a watery laugh and sniffled. "i know. please, sit back down"
after fighting about it in my head i decided to sit back down.
"God i-" she sniffled again with a chuckle. "i know it isn't yours"
"so why'd you tell me?" i huffed.
amirah looked at me through her wet lashes. "i want it to be yours"
i should have seen that coming.
trying to conceal the shock on my face i demanded her to eleborate.
"i cant take care of this baby, harley. i have too much going on in my life at the moment" she sniffled, "your the best person i know. i know you could care for this baby and give it the life it need"
i just stared at her. she wants me to have her baby? this girl is crazy.
"what?" is all i could say.
"i know this is sudden and unexpected-" indeed, it is. "-but i also know you'll be a great parent so please just have this child"
"how far along are?" i asked, ignoring everything else she said.
"seven months"
"the gender?"
"i havent asked but if you go to this next appointment with me you could find out yourself and get a few photos. i havent even looked at it during the ultrasound. i want nothing to do with this baby"
"so your just going to abandon it?"
"i cant care for it" she begged. "isnt me trying to give it up so much better than bringing a child into a world when it wont be cared for? im not fit to be a mother"
no lie there.
"im not keeping your child" i finally decided. amirah looked at me with great sadness but it didnt faze me.
"please, just think about it" she whispered.
"why dont you set them up for adoption?"
"because the system is far much more worst. theres no guarantee they'll be put into a family that wont abuse them or do much worst"
"abortion when you had the chance?"
"i dont believe in abortion"
"but you believe in having sex with a man who obviously didnt care to protect himself nor is he fit to be a father 'cause if he was you wouldnt be here"
"it was one night of passion" she whispered. "our brains were too clouded to think about a condom"
i laughed, "well if it isnt the consequences of your actions. listen, amirah, im not keeping your child. i dont want anything to do with it, or you. ill pray for your child but as if anything else deal with it yourself" i stood up. "i need to get home, goodbye"
she didnt say anything else just letting the tears drip off her face.
i walked away, feeling guilt claw at my stomach for not taking the child in and giving it a life its mother cant but i cant do it.
i have to put myself first and stop giving into amirah wants.
i just want to be with my girlfriend.