As promised, an extra chapter this week :D Merry Christmas!! I LOVE YOU GUYS 🎄🎁🥛🍪🎅🏻🦌⛄️
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"Can we please talk?"
I don't know what to say, or what to feel. But I know that having an honest conversation with Link is the first step into the right direction. With the little amount of time I have left before my next class, I follow Link outside to the campus quad.
The California sun hangs high in the sky, casting a radiant glow over the sprawling Hyrule field. Bundles of blue, white, and gold balloons sway gently in the warm coastal breeze to extend a spirited welcome to the new students. Tonight at 7 PM, Father has his annual welcoming speech at the Hyrule auditorium, which gives me plenty of time to get home before him and figure out what to do about Malice. I hope everything is going well back at the house. Cado hasn't called me yet, which I take as a good sign.
Link and I take a seat on an isolated stone bench in the shade of some trees, the atmosphere alive with the bustle of nearby students crisscrossing the pathways.
Link keeps his gaze on the ground, his hand still deeply sunk in the pockets of his hoodie. I want to hug him and tell him how glad I am that he's okay, but...
I clench my fists. There really shouldn't be a but. There should never be a but!
I reach over and pull Link into a tight hug, squeezing him, kissing him on the cheek, squeezing him some more, and finally telling him, "I love you."
His hands, no longer in his pockets, hesitantly wrap around my back, hugging me back.
"Zelda," he lets out a breath of relief. "I missed you."
"I missed you so much," I say, not letting go quite yet. "I was so worried! My imagination ran wild with all the horrible possibilities of what could have happened to you! I thought Ganondorf..."
"No," he cuts in, his voice soothing and calm. "I'm sorry I made you think that."
"It's not your fault." I break our hug to meet his eyes. "I should have never told you to leave."
"You had every right to. I made a mistake. A huge, dumb mistake, and I don't have a clue how to make up for that."
"It's okay," I say, gently rubbing his back.
"No, it's not."
"It's in the past," I assure him.
"No."
"Link..."
"You have to stop forgiving me every time I mess up. I made a mistake and saying sorry doesn't fix it because it's not the first time I messed up. And every time I get into a fight, other people suffer from the consequences... This has to stop."
"What are you saying?"
"I can't keep hurting you like this, Zelda..."
I let go of his hand, unsure of his intentions. "Are you breaking up with me?"
Link's eyes widen, "No," he shakes his head at me. "No we're not going to break up, okay?"
"Okay," I nod, keeping my emotions under control.
"I'm just saying that every time I mess up and I apologize, things don't seem to get better."
"So what do you suggest?"
"My mandatory counseling starts today," Link tells me nervously. "I don't know if it'll help much but I swear I'll do my best to get better and figure out why I act like this sometimes."
"Your first session is today?" I ask to clarify.
"Yes. It's biweekly, and it's supposed to help me avoid violence or whatever. I don't know what to expect to be honest but I know the doctor has got to be some kind of trained professional, right? So hopefully he can help me figure things out."
Before Link finishes his sentence, I hug him, ruling it as the only proper response. His words fade and his lips come to a halt. He embraces my hug, gratitude and affection flowing from one body to the other.
"I'm here for you," is all I have to say. "Whatever path you choose, I'm here for you."
"I'll get better, Zelda. I'll prove it to you. Do you think I could come over tonight after my counseling session?"
"Tonight?" I ask surprised. "What if Father sees you like this? Perhaps you should hold off on coming over for a bit," I suggest, gently cupping his bruised cheek. "At least until your skin has healed a bit."
"People have been staring at me all morning. They're already talking, and sooner or later your dad's gonna find out anyways." Link pauses and rubs the back of his neck. "Also, I really miss you. Can't I just come over for a couple of hours?"
"I don't think it's a good idea," I say. A frown darkens his features and I add, "But I miss you too. Of course you can come over. I'll come up with a story that explains the bruises. Don't worry about my father."
"What about Malice? Is she still there?" he asks.
Hesitantly, I tell him the truth, "Yes, she doesn't have anywhere else to go at the moment."
"Does your dad know yet?"
I laugh involuntarily. "No, he doesn't know anything. I haven't even seen him yet."
"Are you going to tell him?"
"Probably not. I'm not planning on keeping Malice forever. It's just a night or two, no reason to alarm him, right? I'll try to hide her in the guestroom until we figure out a plan."
I can tell Link is aching to disapprove of my decisions, but he keeps quiet, clenching his jaw as he gives me a faint nod. "Just be careful," he says.
"I will." I grab my backpack and get up. "I have to get to class now."
Link's POV
"One more thing," Zelda says before she leaves. She pulls out my phone and hands it to me.
"Oh, thanks."
"I also went ahead and paid your tuition."
"What?"
Shit, wasn't I supposed to pay for tuition before classes started?
"If you don't pay the bill in time, the courses you signed up for get dropped and your seat will be given to someone on the waitlist. This could delay your graduation date and potentially jeopardize your student visa status. Since you didn't have a phone, I didn't have a way of reaching you, so I took the liberty to log into your account and pay for it myself."
"With your own money?" I gasp.
"I didn't exactly have access to your bank account, now did I? I hope you're not angry."
"Angry? You saved my ass," I say embarrassed. "I'll pay you back tonight."
She doesn't say anything. I know she doesn't want to take my money but I already told her that I won't let her pay for my tuition. It's just too much. She gives me a nod and a hug goodbye.
Zelda heads to her next class and I make my way to the department of counseling.
On the way there, I pass by the soccer field. My team is going through their warm-up routine right now, kicking the ball around like I used to. Hmm, I guess it's not really my team anymore.
I stop to watch them for a moment. Preseason tryouts ended last week and the new team has been selected. I spot a mix of familiar faces and some newbies I've never seen before. Part of me wants to be one of them, part of me never wants to touch a soccer ball again.
I watch as one of the rookies makes a blunder. The pass he attempts is way off the mark, angle and timing messed up. A through ball would've been the way to go there. Shit, it's like I'm coaching in my head, even though I'm not in the game anymore.
I pull the hood over my head, keep my hands in my pockets, and keep walking. I don't want to get recognized. I'm not ready to get bombarded with questions about my career. Or my messed up face.
When I arrive at the counseling building, the lady at the reception makes me fill out a form. It starts off with my personal information and at the bottom it asks me for my reason for referral. I check a couple boxes:
☐ Bullying
☐ Stress
☐ PTSD
☐ Sexual violence
☐ Mental disorder
☒ Aggression
☐ Absences
☐ Grief and loss
☐ Sexual orientation
☐ Gender Identity
☒ Offense/felony
☐ Depression
☒ Academics
☐ Family concerns
☐ Peer relationships
☐ Pregnancy
☐ Anxiety
☒ Career/Degree uncertainty
☒ Finances
☐ Homelessness
☐ Self Harm
☐ Health issues
☒ Drugs/Alcohol
☐ Relationship
I almost check the last box too, but I think this is plenty to discuss for now. I'm here because of the fight with Karusa, not Zelda.
I hand the form back to the receptionist and she tells me to take a seat and wait.
I take a seat and I wait.
I guess I can use the time to clear out the flood of notifications on my phone that's been building up since Saturday.
43 new messages in the fraternity group chat, 99+ Instagram notifications, 9+ Snaps, 4 score updates from games I missed, 2 game reminders for games I haven't missed yet, and the fantasy football preseason updates.
I skim the group chat even though I'm not in the fraternity anymore. I also delete the Instagram notifications because I'm not really active at the moment.
"Link Miyamoto," the receptionist calls my name. "Dr. Deku is ready for you." I get up and she points me down the hall. "Third door on the left, hun."
I walk down the hall feeling a bit out of place. I've never seen counseling or therapy. Except physical therapy.
The door is open, so I sneak a peek into the room before I step in. The place is a jungle. Plants everywhere, like I got lost in the woods. There's a giant bookshelf taking up a whole wall, stacked with a bazillion old, dusty books and more plants and figures. Sunlight's streaming in, like a disco for specks of dust floating around. Right in the middle of it all, there's this green rug, a brown couch, and a triangle shaped stone coffee table with a tall scented candle. It's got a cozy vibe, not at all what I expected from a counseling office.
I knock on the door and introduce myself even though he's expecting me already.
The man sitting in the chair looks ancient, with bushy eyebrows and a white mustache. His eyes smile up at me, instantly calming me in a mysterious way. "Hello Link, please come in and have a seat." He sounds as if he just woke up from a long slumber, but somehow that's relaxing to me.
I do as he says and wait for his next command because I have no idea how to approach this.
"My name is Dr. Deku, and I'll be here to help you navigate through the challenges you're facing. Today was the first day of the new semester, how are you feeling?"
"Good," I lie. Not sure why I'm lying. Guess it's sort of an instinct to answer that question with 'good'.
"What year are you in now?"
"I'm a junior."
"Halfway there," the doc nods. "Are you excited to graduate?"
"I guess."
He nods again and takes a look at the paper in front of him. "Let's start by addressing the reason you're here. I see there was an incident on the baseball field that led to a fight. Can you tell me more about what happened and how you're feeling about it now?"
"Don't you already know?" I ask. "It was all over the news for months. This guy-Karusa-he started to provoke me and said some things about my girlfriend that triggered me to throw a punch. He broke my leg and everything went red from there. I don't remember what happened next but I know I ended up in a coma, having to learn how to walk again. I lost my career and scholarship, disappointed everyone around me and gave the school a bad reputation, meanwhile the other guy got away with a couple of minor bruises and a suspension from playing baseball for the rest of the season... I don't necessarily feel great about it, you know?"
Dr. Deku listens to every word before he answers. "I understand that this was a highly publicized incident, and I do have some background information. However, I'm here to hear your perspective and how you're processing everything. It sounds like there were strong emotions involved, and it's completely natural to have mixed feelings about the situation. Let's explore your feelings and reactions. For instance, are you experiencing guilt, regret, anger, or any other emotions related to this event?"
"Yes. I feel guilty for making the school look bad, and for disappointing my fans and family that day. But I don't feel guilty for hurting Karusa. And sometimes it makes me wonder if that makes me a bad person."
"People make mistakes, and it doesn't necessarily define your entire character. What's essential is acknowledging what happened, taking responsibility for your actions, and working towards personal growth and self-improvement."
"It wasn't just a one time thing though... Karusa and his friends have been harassing me for years. That was all fine until they started to attack my girlfriend too. This," I point at my bruised face, "is from a recent fight with Karusa. I don't even know how it happened, I didn't have any control over myself. I'm scared that my actions will hurt the people I care about."
"Feeling threatened and provoked over an extended period can certainly take a toll on anyone's mental and emotional well-being. But you're right, it's concerning that you've felt like you've lost control in these situations. In our sessions, we can work on strategies to manage your anger and emotional responses, as well as help you find ways to protect yourself and your loved ones without resorting to violence. Does that sound like a direction you'd be willing to explore?"
"Yes," I say and I mean it. "I want to be better for my girlfriend."
"That's a positive step forward, and I commend your willingness to work on improving yourself for the sake of your relationship. Is there anything specific you'd like to discuss right now regarding this process?"
"Actually, there is one thing I could use some help with."
"Of course," he says kindly. "I'm here to help you."
"I don't know if you know this, but the girl I'm dating is Zelda Hyrule," I start and he nods, either to tell me he's listening or that he did already know that. "Well, tonight I'm going over to her house to deal with a difficult situation. She doesn't know yet... But, yeah... I'm kinda nervous, I guess, because I don't know how to handle it. I'm scared that I'll mess it all up. Do you think you could help me find the best approach?"
"Feel free to share the situation you are dealing with, and we can explore it together."
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