Sirius Black
Thursday, 7th December 1972.
Hogwarts
Well... the conversation with Regulus, if you could even call it that, went way worse than Sirius expected. When he ran after his brother, he wanted to yell at him, to tell him how disappointed and disgusted he was because of the insult Regulus threw James' way.
But then, when Sirius finally caught up with him, just seeing Regulus' face was enough to change his mind. Sirius was still mad, but his brain told him that scolding could be done some other day. Regulus tried to hide behind the expressionless mask that Sirius was a master of, but he just wasn't quite as good as the Black heir.
Maybe it was because they were brothers or maybe because Sirius has had enough experience with that mask to be able to easily notice the cracks, but either way Sirius saw an equal disappointment and sadness in his brother that he felt.
Sirius caught up with him near the Dungeons entrance. Thankfully, most students were either in the Great Hall or on their way to classes. He called Regulus numerous of times, but it became quite clear that younger Black wasn't going to turn around. Sirius then grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him into a hidden corridor Marauders found just a few weeks ago while mapping the castle.
There was a portrait of an old wizard who held a crystal ball. All you had to do was ask him to predict your future, which Sirius did as a joke on one of their map missions, and the portrait revealed a whole secret corridor. It looked out of use, like paintings were once hanging in there but someone decided that it was useless and blocked it. Granted, it did lead nowhere, so that someone was probably right.
Sirius saw Regulus' mask break slightly from shock as they entered the secret corridor, but it was back on before the portrait swung shut. Sirius turned to his brother in hopes to clear some things up, "First of all—"
"I don't want to hear it. You didn't even mention that you were planning on ditching me.", Regulus said very composed, like all the initial anger he felt upon finding out about everything disappeared. Sirius knew better though, he knew that this was just another layer of the mask. He was taught to always hide his weaknesses and emotions from everyone, just like Regulus was.
Sirius took a big breath in an attempt to keep his annoyance about Regulus jumping to conclusions at bay, "I didn't know that—"
Regulus cut him off again with a loud huff, "Sure you didn't. Like your precious little friend wouldn't mention it to you.", now the venom in the younger boy's voice made another appearance.
Needless to say, Sirius was done with being cut off, "I didn't! He didn't mention anything to me! He only said that he maybe had an idea on how to help me!", he was now yelling. He just wanted to get all the truthful facts into the thick head of Regulus Black.
Unfortunately, this was apparently the wrong thing to say since Regulus gave him another nasty glare, "Help you with what? Getting rid of me?!", it seemed like Regulus had reached the boiling point as well.
"No, you dimwit!", Sirius flicked him on the back of the head like he used to do when they were little. He hoped that Regulus would find this entertaining and that the tension would ease, "With not having to return to that house for Christmas break."
Regulus still didn't seem impressed, "You would rather spend Christmas with them than me?! I'm your brother! And your friend, you said it yourself! What more could you want?!", he pointed an accusing finger at Sirius.
Sirius returned the gesture with pointing his own finger at Regulus, he was done being nice. It was like Regulus wanted to spin his every word against him, "No! I want to spend Christmas with all of you, away from that devil's house!"
"So I am not enough for you?!"
They glared into each other, their index fingers with each other's constellations now on the opposite sides for the first time.
Calm down, Sirius. You are older, you have to act like it, Sirius told to himself before lowering his finger, "Come with me. Peter offered it at the wedding and you refused. He probably thought that you would refuse it now as well. We can go to the Potter's Christmas party and—"
That was apparently another wrong thing to say since Sirius practically saw Regulus' blood boil at the mention of the Potters, "I would never step a foot inside that blood traitor's house and neither should you! Wasn't the broom a strong enough punishment to keep you from trouble?"
Now Sirius's temper came back as well, "Stop calling him that!", but Regulus didn't stop, "That is who he is! Everyone in Slytherin knows it and soon the rest of Hogwarts will too."
What did the Slytherins know? Why did Regulus know this? Was he hanging around prejudice brats? Were they poisoning his brain like Orion and Walburga? But before he could ask his brother any of these questions, Sirius' head short-circuited. It was like his brain finally caught up onto what Regulus exactly said earlier, "You knew?", he whispered.
It was more a statement than a question, but it was like Regulus immediately knew what Sirius was talking about. He diverted his gaze from his brother for the first time since they entered the secret corridor.
"You knew what they were going to do?", Regulus kept silent, "You knew about the broom and you never told me?! Never warned me?!", Sirius yelled.
He couldn't remember the last time he was this angry. Steam practically rose from him, but Regulus tried to defend himself, "I told you that they ordered you to leave the team.", but that statement only angered Sirius even more, "You never mentioned anything about them wanting to destroy my first ever broomstick!"
"What difference would it made?!", it seemed like Regulus' anger was back as well since he lifted his gaze to glare at Sirius again, "You wouldn't have left the team either way because you are a stubborn idiot who doesn't listen!"
"I would know what to expect! Of course I wouldn't have left the team because I'm not some puppet they can control!", Sirius roared while nearing Regulus.
They were never angrier at each other in their whole lives. Sirius saw this as a betrayal from Regulus. Like he took his parents' side since he kept the information about Sirius' punishment to himself. They should have each other's backs, but Regulus had Orion and Walburga's backs instead of Sirius' which hurt like hell. He felt like he's been punched straight to the gut. If someone asked him, Sirius would have never guessed in a million years that Regulus knew something this big and kept it from him.
Regulus did take a step back, away from Sirius, but he kept his glare and tone of voice, "Because you are stupid! You are just making everything harder on purpose! They just want what's best for us!"
That was it. Sirius Black was done. He turned around, away from his brother and neared the exit of the secret corridor. Before he left, he turned to Regulus once again, pure disappointment on his face clear as day, "Keep telling yourself that. For someone who calls James a traitor, you know a lot about being one.", Regulus flinched at his words, but Sirius didn't stop, he wanted to draw blood in that moment, "James would have never betrayed me in a way that you have."
He did feel bad after saying that, but the pure horror on Regulus' face from being compared to James gave him such satisfaction that the bad feeling disappeared immediately.
Sirius left him there. Alone in the secret corridor in hopes that Regulus will be smart and think about everything they had spoken about. He retreated back to his dorm, barely able to concentrate on finding the Gryffindor Tower, let alone listen to his professors.
As lunch came, the rest of the Marauders joined him and brought him food. Peter apologized for not telling Sirius about his plan, but Sirius reassured him that it wasn't his fault. Peter visibly relaxed once Sirius thanked him immensely for getting him out of the 12th Grimmauld Place for the duration of the break.
He told them about the conversation he had with Regulus and how Regulus knew about his punishment and never mentioned anything. The Marauders chose not to comment, but Sirius wasn't stupid. He saw how shocked they were which just proved that he didn't exaggerate the situation.
They all touched briefly on the topic of James being a blood traitor, but once Sirius understood that James didn't really mind the insult, the topic was switched back to their map making. Sirius knew that his friends wanted to distract him from the fight he had with Regulus with that, but he didn't really mind. Maybe a good distraction was all he needed.
* * *
Saturday, 16th December 1972.
Hogwarts
Unlike previous year, Sirius Black was bursting with happiness at the thought of Christmas. He packed his trunk days before students will be departing for London. It looked like all of his worries and problems disappeared in an instant. Okay... maybe not all of them.
His fight with Regulus was still fresh in his mind even ten days later. Sirius had troubles sleeping and more frequent nightmares didn't help the cause. Whenever he woke up from one of these dreams, Sirius would open the curtains on the right side of the bed, enabling him to see the window and the starry night sky behind it from the comfort of his bed.
He played with his Leo ring, brain empty, thoughtless. Sirius did this for about six days before James caught him one night. They talked a lot that night.
James shared his perspective on the situation. Like expected, he didn't support Regulus' decision to keep Sirius' punishment away from him, but he also tried to persuade Sirius into considering that they are still brothers and that people make mistakes. Maybe Regulus just wasn't thinking. After all, he was a first year, he was probably overwhelmed with experiences and everything to think straight.
In the end, they both came to one conclusion. Maybe this break was a perfect opportunity to think about everything and calm down from the initial shock. Sirius decided that he will talk to Regulus once they were back at Hogwarts and once his brain has calmed down and thought things through.
This conversation with James seemed to help quite a lot since Sirius stopped having nightmares. He stopped obsessing over this situation and just relaxed. Only when he saw Regulus in the Great Hall or in the corridors did he feel the familiar sting in his heart. Sirius just tried to reassure himself that everything will be back to normal once the break was over. He was still pretty upset about everything, so, like James advised him, Sirius decided to just let it go for now.
The day of their departure to London came way slower than Sirius was used to. It was probably because he actually couldn't wait to leave Hogwarts this time. Unlike previous year, he was up bright and early on the 16th December, ready to go to the Great Hall with the Marauders. He was so happy to finally be able to travel in a bright red hoodie James gifted him for Christmas last year. Usually, Sirius just left it at Hogwarts or gave it to James for safekeeping because he was scared that Walburga would destroy it.
The other Marauders shared his happiness and excitement. The breakfast was finished in about ten minutes, so the four friends rushed back to the dorm to gather couple of last things and then started their journey to the Hogwarts Express.
Snow was everywhere so, naturally, they had to have a little game of war on their way to the train. Snowballs were flying everywhere and even some students joined them. Sirius got hit straight to the face, but he just didn't care. He kept laughing and enjoying this wonderful experience.
James and Sirius won in the end, but Remus was still kind enough to dry their clothes with a drying spell. The Marauders got their usual compartment and thus the ride began.
They talked about the progress they have made on the map, but the general opinion was that it will never be fully finished. There will always be something more to add. The four boys decided to just continue with what they were doing now and, once the whole castle was mapped as best as possible, the Marauders will finally put all of their notes into a one piece of parchment. Then, if they find something more along the way, they will just add it in with magic.
Soon enough, the compartment was silent since everyone fell asleep. Sirius woke up first due to his head banging on the window. They were passing over some bridge which caused the train to shake. There was a mysterious pressure on his left arm and, when Sirius turned to the left, he saw Remus sleeping on his shoulder.
The boy looked so peaceful, his mouth slightly parted and sandy curls dancing all over his head due to the shaking of the train. There was again that uncomfortable feeling in Sirius' stomach he had back when they first discovered the Armory. Despite this feeling, he just couldn't look away. Remus' face was so captivating that Sirius felt like he will be lost in an oblivion if he looked away.
He studied the boy, looking at his faint freckles and scarry hands. There was still this huge admiration for how strong Remus truly was and no one knew it except from Sirius. He kind of liked having something only he knew about Remus. It made him feel special.
After studying Remus' hands, Sirius came back to his curls. The sandy hair looked so soft that Sirius wondered what it would feel like to just bury his face in it. He fought this urge by not wanting to wake the boy up and diverted his gaze again, this time to Remus' face.
There was this scar Sirius never noticed before. A slim, sliver line starting near his ear, connecting it to his jaw. Sirius hated the fact that Remus had to suffer because of something he didn't even ask for. During the summer break, Sirius tried to read every book about werewolves in the Black family's library, but it was just no use. None of the books had anything about helping the werewolves, they all just contained awful passages about describing them as Dark Creatures and marking them unlovable and dangerous.
While looking at Remus' freckles, Sirius just couldn't see him as dangerous or unlovable. Remus was such a kind person with layers of mischief buried behind his logical thinking. It was truly beautiful to see all these different sides of someone extraordinary as Remus Lupin.
The commotion in front of Sirius finally made him look away from the sea of freckles. James had woken up in a similar manner to Sirius', head banging on the window. Since Peter and Remus were still fast asleep, the two boys whispered about how amazing Christmas this year will be. James didn't even seem to noticed a sleeping Remus on Sirius' shoulder. After all, it was probably the softness of Sirius' hoodie that drew Remus in that position. At least that was what Sirius told himself in the moment.
Half an hour later, Peter and Remus woke up as well. Remus apologized to Sirius for sleeping on his shoulder, but Sirius just gave him a bright smile while telling him not to worry about it. Interestingly enough, Sirius missed the warmness once Remus removed his head from his shoulder. It was probably because of the cold December air.
Soon enough, the train came to a halt on King's Cross Station. The Marauders could see a huge number of parents waiting for their children on the platform 9 and ¾. Sirius asked if the four of them could wait for a bit, he didn't want to encounter his parents on the platform. The rest of the Marauders seemed to understand why he asked this and waited patiently with Sirius until they were amongst last students on the train.
The four boys exited the train and immediately saw Mr. and Mrs. Potter, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew and William waiting for them. They were all talking together and sharing big, bright smiles. Sirius felt a bit uncomfortable due to his parents' absence. Even though he preferred it this way, there was still this embarrassment inside of him.
"Junior!", Mr. Potter yelled and took a few steps towards James. The two hugged while Peter and Remus greeted their dad's as well. Sirius just stood there awkwardly and slightly uncomfortable, but then Mrs. Potter approached him. She gave him a big hug and asked him about this year's semester. That was all Sirius needed for his bright smile to return to his face.
It was unusual talking to Mrs. Potter about his semester and even more unusual that someone actually asked him and was interested in how he spent the last four months. Unusual, but beautiful and perfect. Then, Sirius greeted the rest of the parents, all of them mirroring his bright smile. Needless to say, King's Cross Station never felt warmer in the cold December air.
"So, Sirius?", Mr. Pettigrew turned to him, "Would you like to say hi to your folks before we leave"
Sirius just shrugged and threw a quick glance to the part of the station where the Blacks usually stood. It was empty which wasn't really a surprise. He gave Mr. Pettigrew a forced smile before replying, "Even if I could, I really wouldn't.", he said simply.
It was true. He didn't really want to see Walburga or Orion. The only one Sirius considered saying goodbye to was Regulus, but even that wasn't really a possibility since the Blacks probably apparated away as soon as Regulus greeted them. He wasn't even sure if he would have really done it if Regulus was still on the platform. The hurt from their fight was still very fresh.
Mr. Pettigrew nodded knowingly. They all bid their goodbyes and then Sirius was apparating away with Peter, William and Mr. Pettigrew to the Pettigrew Estate.
They were all greeted by Mrs. Pettigrew once there. She also asked Sirius about his semester which, once again, sparked quite a warm feeling inside of him. After dinner, Sirius and Peter retreated to Peter's room. Five minutes into their discussion about a new Zonko's product, they released the Magical Magnifying Glass which made the user vomit once he looked through it, there was a knock on the door.
William came into the room, a sly smile on his face. He told Sirius and Peter how he wanted to invite some friends to stay at the Pettigrew Estate as well and he knew that Peter and Sirius would prefer to be at the Potter Manor so he came up with a plan. William wanted to try and persuade Mr. and Mrs. Pettigrew into allowing Peter and Sirius to stay at the Potter Manor for the duration of the break so that William could invite his friends over.
Needless to say, Sirius and Peter were thrilled by this idea. The three of them went back into the joined living room and kitchen wearing their most convincing smiles. After a conversation that lasted about half an hour, Sirius and Peter ran back to Peter's room to owl James and see if it was okay with him and his parents to be accompanied by two more boys for the duration of the break.
William was excited as well. He wanted to invite his best friend Sturgis, his girlfriend, which Sirius finally found out was named Sophie Haworth, and another friend, Michael Clearwater.
While Sirius and Peter waited by the window for James' reply, something Mr. Pettigrew had said sparked that all too familiar curiosity of his, "What was your dad talking about earlier? He mentioned that you need to keep your promise during our stay at James'?"
Peter started to fidget with his fingers, "Well... you know... I have been slacking recently when it comes to painting—"
Sirius cut Peter off because of his confusion, "What are you talking about? You always paint?", he quirked an eyebrow at the small boy, but Peter just sighed and continued, "Yeah, I do. But not portraits. I paint nature which can't really help me with my future job, you know as a portrait painter?", Peter now quirked an eyebrow at Sirius.
Sirius stayed quiet after this while Peter explained further, "He wrote to me about it the day we talked underneath our tree. He wanted me to focus more on portraits, but I think, deep down, he knew that I will still mostly paint nature because that is what I love to do."
"I wasn't sure if he would really write to your dad and ask to have you as our guest since I didn't really know if he liked Orion, so I promised him something."
There was a long silence. To Sirius it seemed like Peter finished the explanation, but there was still no answer to his question, "What did you promise?", he questioned once more.
Peter sighed, "That I will paint only portraits and join him on work trips during Christmas if he wrote to your dad."
Sirius just stared at Peter. Did his friend really do that for him? Just so he wouldn't have to go back to his awful family during the break? Sirius felt a great wave of appreciation for his friend in that moment, but he also felt guilty. He didn't want to be the reason why Peter had to do something he didn't want to. It felt awful, "You didn't need to do that, Pete. I'm sorry—"
This time, Peter cut Sirius off, "I needed to paint portraits either way. I told you that he threatened to not give me the Pettigrew's Portraits. It wasn't only because of the Slytherins. It was also because I only sent him maybe two portraits for four months. So at least I got to do something nice for a friend since I needed to promise him this either way.", there was a faint smile on his face.
This made Sirius feel a bit better, but his appreciation for Peter was still there. He hugged the smaller boy and thanked him immensely. Peter laughed at this and told Sirius to stop being so dramatic. Sirius gave him a bright smile before their conversation was interrupted by an owl. A very small and beautiful snowy owl.
Nix landed on Sirius' shoulder. He started doing that ever since Sirius used him to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Potter about James' and Remus' birthday presents. Like always, the owl extended his little leg and Peter immediately took the letter and opened it.
It only contained two sentences, but it made Sirius and Peter jump from joy.
What kind of a question even is that?
The Potters are expecting both of you tomorrow morning.
J. Potter